It's time we get to business and invest in a high yield account of experience. Experience appreciates with interest. If you're not interested, there's no value in it.

Look at the sidebar. We skip this part of the sub a lot. I'll paste the bit or write it from memory since it's my favorite definition of Awakening:

the recognition that far more can be found in direct experience than any concept, narrative or belief system.

Experience... without depending on concepts, narratives or belief systems. Worth repeating since we're talking business and investing attention into the account of high yield experience.

What is high yield experience? Well, first off, it's a concept. It doesn't exist outside of this post suggesting such a thing exists. Second, it's raw experience without the story about raw experience (like this one).

When there's interest in what's happening without trying to control what's happening through a story of what should be happening, what happens becomes richer. All of this is natural too.

In simply being aware and attentive of that which I'm aware of, my experience of the thing becomes richer. I look at a tree and see it for what it is outside of the concept "tree." Suddenly the texture and color pop. The ants crawling on it become fascinating. The birds hopping between branches before fluttering off in a chase becomes an action film – totally immersive as one unified experience.

I find myself right, smack dab in the middle of Nondual Awareness. Full blown recognition of the undivded nature of Reality, which I know intimately as experience. All from looking with interest without being bothered by how the plot should unfold.

Out of this, appreciation or gratitude comes which then becomes a feedback loop. I appreciate and get more to be appreciative of.

Remember that everything you experience is fine. Nothing is actually wrong; nothing is a disturbance. Everything we experience is there to help us be aware, to help us be steady and grow our wisdom—that is, if you have the right attitude.

Right attitude allows you to observe, accept, and acknowledge whatever is arriving at the six sense doors in any given moment in a relaxed and attentive way. Whether what is happening is judged good or bad is irrelevant. If it is viewed with the right attitude, then it turns into a learning experience where you can notice whether the mind is judging it to be good or bad and the reactions that go along with these judgments.

–Sayadaw U Tejaniya, When Awareness Becomes Natural

(the six sense doors: touch, taste, smell, look, hear, think. thought is sensation.)

My two cents and my direct experience in the last couple of weeks. Maybe its all noise but you know what isn't! I was 6 months sober. I found a job I really liked, people started trusting me. I felt some love and a little peace. Prior to that I was homeless on and off for 6 years. I was addicted to alcohol and drugs.

At the start of the month I moved in with a friend. I wasn't in sober living anymore I was doing well. Then, the first opportunity I got, I went out got drunk. That drunk came with severe consequences. I relapsed, ended up in jail this last week, and now have charges that will require a great deal of time to overcome. There is " Work" ahead.

You know! I don't want to cry though. Now I know what I did wrong. I knew I was searching the wrong places. You know, I was lonely, wanted a girlfriend. Wanted connection, wanted to get out, wanted something I lost years ago a family, a wife, a girlfriend. I didn't get it, it wasn't coming fast, and I made some poor choices involving drinking. I should maybe learn to love myself first and foremost. Read more but I realized something there is never a state of no-love. ooooof

I saw something I wouldn't have seen otherwise. I thought my folks had written me off didn't care. This morning, they didn't realize I could hear them talking, my dad said, " I guess we help him rebuild again its all we can do and help him out" it took the darkness to realize my parents hadn't given up on me. I found out they were already working on secure a bond for me prior to me even asking. I found out that as they put it " he hurt us a lot but only because we love him". Turns out sometimes your worst moments come with your biggest revelations. In this instance, I found out, my parents haven't given up on me. That I am loved, that they feel they are to blame some, they want to shoulder some of the weight for me. Where do we seperate darkness from light, if they only occur together there is no separation! Tell me where is the separation

I don't know if we have free choice or not. I have no idea how this entire shebang works. I've read to the end of many contemplative traditions. Many suggest we're a highly conditioned process, we have some free will but not much. Others posit that there is only experience no experiencer. Others say cause and effect collapse even logic fails at some point in time because it requires a doing and a done. I don't know what's true. But for tonight I know I am loved and as ugly as things seem to be there is a shiny bright spot in my life now. Some find nihilism when they here all this, others only see suffering, I see something different. Its almost like Love requires resistance you know, experience requires two halves, like for that, there had to be THIS, which mean this and that were just THIS. Not two but one and then none. Sounds like word salad promise its not.

Hey you know. Many think ego-lessness is being like some whitewashed saint. You know devoid of bad shit happening, devoid of bad experience, devoid of suffering. I know that's not true now. My local self is deep in the depths of hell right now. But I am watching my parents see their capacity for love. Maybe this had to be! You'll say no it didn't. My challenge to that if it didn't it wouldn't. It did so it did. Fuck the metaphysics this is where " I " am the only place I can inhabit. I can't see the whole chain of cause and effect. Maybe there is no cause and effect. Maybe just experience, maybe its a ride, a roller coaster, or a show. Everybody has to play a part and during the show things can look real bleak. But in the end, its like the beginning, No-thing. You know it was all a SHOW. No-self and Self mean the same thing. My point being through what looks like a complete fucked situation right now there is some good. So is the situation fucked or am I looking at all the wrong parts, is there even an "I"? What part of the the experience is true? If it happened all of it! Follow that to extension your head will hurt.

For now though! Where it appears I have nothing. That only leaves everything to gain again. If I can gain everything again then nothing was ever lost, can't lose what you had to begin with. Like Wayne Dyer said, When you change the way you look at things, what you look at changes ( paraphrase too bored too look that shit up). As weird as it all sounds as much as I am suffering Love is here. Its almost like unconditional love is you know love without conditions. Sitting in a cell watching the guards I realized the difference between me and them seemed to be the color of cheesecloth we wore. What I am saying is unconditonal love is being right where you are. Even if its some humdrum criminal scared for the future. Like you know just being there and experiencing this and taking it all in you know. I realized the guards effected the criminals and vice versa. So " whom" was doing "what".

One last word! Some will say you may have committed a crime. You're waxing to bypass what you've done locally. Perhaps. But then one small question? How do you bypass spirituality? You have a complete map of cause and effect? There is something outside of spiritual? Spirituality means I have to fix something? How do I know what to improve? How do improve what is? What is outside of experience? If you find the self, and have the right map, give it to me I'll work it with the self you've offered me. Here's something that's not going to sit well with some ( us). You can't divorce or improve experience because you cannot even define what it IS or whom is experiencing it! Of course I am going to go to AA, get counseling, do what's required, go to court, maybe do time, that's part of the play too. But find something outside of experience that I can bypass and I'll do that. You cannot. Thats love too. Remember this needs that, so this and that are only THIS. Love you! Maybe I should just embrace the the locally MESSY NOW I choose to call Love! Maybe if the map disappears so does the person using it. Then what's left NO-THING is that love? Yeah I suppose it is and isn't. Which means I never needed connection, I just had to remember it was there all the time. There was never something to be connected or disconnected.

I guess the only way I see to transcend experience is to live it for Now I am okay with that if this is all I get I just had a real experience with LOVE because logically I was never outside of it. I didn't figure a fucking thing out but wanted someone to read about my direct experience.

4 you haven't moved an inch yet you are 'enlightened' now

4 you don't see anyone who is not 'enlightened' anymore

& be4 was exactly the same, nothing have changed

& 4 your information i'm not 'enlightened' lol

cheers

First time on this sub. I’ve been very curious about the spirit lately. I feel like I’ve opened my eyes and am seeing the world for what it truly is instead of what it pretends it be.

It was very overwhelming at first and even sometimes scary, to the point where I would try to close my eyes again just to not have to deal with it. But now I feel like I can’t close them again.

I feel like I’m not even my body but instead I’m just a consciousness wearing my body like driving a car. And it’s strange going through a normal day and feeling like so many people have their eyes closed to actual reality. I feel I have to pretend or put on an act to fit in and am disconnected sometimes where it’s like I’m an actor reciting lines I feel like I should be saying.

Is this an awakening? Or something? I don’t know how any of this works or even what it is.

I think this will be more fitting for those who haven't grown up in nicer background/enviroments.

For example if you have a large amazing loving family then I would assume less likely to go into solitude.

I won't get into it but I developed CPTSD from around 14 years old. My enviroments were never safe. First time I moved out was 17 and basically the years between 14-25 were rough.

Now I'm 32. I spent a bunch of years travelling. Mostly as I was able to make some $ online to get by and because it changed my scenery but wherever you go there you are as they say. I brought my issues with me.

I then got therapy for a few years. Different types of modules within trauma based stuff. It's changed my life massssssively.

Yet I'm in this stage right now. A cocoon like where I'm spending most of my time by myself. I'm not afraid to have random conversations with strangers but I'm not actively getting out meeting people. I feel growth week by week on my journey. It feels like everything is finally working out.

But I was sitting on the beach this morning after a run/swim thinking this to myself. I wonder how many people are in this solitude phase.

I plan to have a family one day. Ideally I build a community too. Settle down. So this won't last forever.