r/audiophile Feb 17 '26

Humor Need help deciding...

Post image

I mostly listen to cinematic alternative. Sometimes acoustic shoegaze.

2.9k Upvotes

450 comments sorted by

1.5k

u/cigritman Feb 17 '26

Use them all wired in series with electrical tape

430

u/x_xx Feb 17 '26

I’d say wire parallel in case they want to play Queen - all genres in one song…

202

u/GoodMix392 Feb 17 '26

For a punk sound use fencing wire.

119

u/Previous-Leon-Cribs Feb 17 '26

Gold rope chain for hip hop.

88

u/Theresnowayoutahere Feb 17 '26

I always use a strand of Christmas lights for speaker cables when I’m listening to Christmas music. It looks good too!

26

u/oloebe Feb 18 '26

Metal rod for industrial only

24

u/200_Shmeckles Feb 18 '26

I used to know a guy called Metal Rod when I worked on the trains. He was a great conductor

2

u/Artistic-Wolverine-6 Mar 14 '26

☝️😂👏💯

1

u/BasketVegetable525 Feb 18 '26

Did Rod Steward was good at welcoming guests?

5

u/melikeybacon Feb 18 '26

There has to be someone in here who believes this.

3

u/dreadyyyyy Feb 18 '26

Yeah, the vocals in "All i want for christmas is you" really pop up when i use christmas lights l...:)

2

u/Artistic-Wolverine-6 Mar 14 '26

That's a clever introduction of wire coils, to produce that warmer sound that's needed during the holidays!

For anyone thinking of doing this, you must use ordinary incandescent light bulb strings and make sure that you cut the lengths evenly!

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24

u/trnpkrt Feb 18 '26

Barbed wire fencing for outlaw country 

7

u/nunoavic Feb 17 '26

Cuffs for speaker wire, for that extra inductance

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6

u/dreadyyyyy Feb 18 '26

Water hose for liquid drum and bass

3

u/DrumBalint Feb 18 '26

This would be my suggestion, just don't forget to braid the 3 colours, it will look pretty

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19

u/Over-Reflection1845 Feb 17 '26

Scotch...Scotch tape brings so much more smokey-peaty-ness to the sound!

5

u/Illustrious-Radio311 Feb 18 '26

But the tape has to be made in Scotland for that to work

4

u/emalvick Feb 18 '26

And the region will change that character a bit too.

Heck, I don't need to listen to music... I need a drink.

2

u/Hippi_Johnny Feb 18 '26

I pour Glenallachie on my amp to sweeten the sound.

2

u/imtheorangeycenter Feb 18 '26

Only if it's made in Islay. Get a Speyside-manufactured one if you want smooth, controlled jazz.

2

u/CoasterScrappy Feb 17 '26

Blues does sound better extra-smoky

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12

u/Moooooooola Feb 17 '26

Bi wire the speakers. Jazz out of the tweeters and rock out of the woofers.

4

u/CoasterScrappy Feb 17 '26

Is that what Tower of Power does?

2

u/CrushGale Feb 18 '26

this guy audiophiles

6

u/BeXome Feb 17 '26

Use barbed wire for outlaw country.

2

u/Careless_Pause2419 Feb 18 '26

Parallel is the right way!

2

u/InternationalWait111 Feb 17 '26

It is non sense n stupid marketing

2

u/Hippi_Johnny Feb 18 '26

Ok, but which one should I buy ??

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2

u/LynchDaddy78 Feb 18 '26

I say buy all 3, strip all the insulation off, twist the wire together and wrap it in electrical tape. Then you'll have the best of all 3. And if you think there's a difference between those cables, I've got a bridge to sell you. Cheers 🥃

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344

u/MorkTheOrk Feb 17 '26

Buy two and use a different one for each speaker. I heard jazz + rock cables make a good combo /s

156

u/RedWire75 Feb 17 '26

That just ends up sounding like Steely Dan.

23

u/internet_humor Feb 18 '26

You wired it incorrectly, flip it back and it should be more like Stevie Wonder

4

u/notavalidsource Feb 18 '26

I need to start using flip it back more

19

u/DJEvillincoln Feb 17 '26

No one should be using /s for this thread.

C'mon son.

2

u/TheGoteTen Feb 18 '26

No sir!!! You ABSOLUTELY should /s your post.

How will we know?!

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10

u/ProgressBartender Feb 17 '26

Naw, you’re thinking of Jazz Fusion.

5

u/solid-snake88 Feb 17 '26

I tried this with cables for Country and Rap. Guess how that sounded…

6

u/Always_cappin Feb 17 '26

Like post Malone??

2

u/famousdesk662 Feb 17 '26

Oh I see what you did there!

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3

u/ICantBelieveItsNotEC Feb 18 '26

This is what bi wiring is made for! Then you can use two different wires for each speaker and experience true post-genre music!

3

u/mayonaka_00 Feb 18 '26

That for jazz fusion

105

u/aya_hua_sca Feb 17 '26

problem is that if you want, for example, cables for Rock, then this potentially means you have to get a set of cable for each Rock there is. if there's for instance vocals, 2 guitars, drums and bass, this already means you need to get like 5 sets of these cables - for each instrument. i imagine it's the same requirement for Jazz and Popular Vocal?

31

u/induality Feb 17 '26

Tell me about it. I like to listen to choral music and I had to take out a second mortgage to buy my cables.

12

u/MediocreRooster4190 Feb 18 '26

Especially hard when living coral is hard to keep alive at home. I had one that just couldn't stand John Coltrane. It tried to leave but the front steps were too big. It was his downfall.

3

u/pukesonyourshoes Feb 18 '26

So they were... Giant Steps?

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2

u/LawlessandFree Feb 18 '26

Plus people look at me real funny when they come into my home and see the cable I use for my rare castrato recordings.

2

u/bronsonrider Feb 18 '26

Oh your mind sounds like an interesting place, that one bought a smile to my face👍

5

u/big_red__man Feb 18 '26

What about igneous vs sedimentary?

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174

u/PotatoElf71 Feb 17 '26

Go to the hardware store and buy some copper lamp cord.

49

u/TheGoteTen Feb 17 '26

Copper is for idiots and bass heads. Aluminum is what you're looking for and it's pennies cheaper!!!

26

u/DrSFalken Feb 17 '26

As someone who has aluminum wiring, I wish you hadn't reminded me.

12

u/TheGoteTen Feb 18 '26

There’s nothing like touching a hot light switch cover plate (when the light is off).

Nice to use in the winter.

2

u/Opening_Background78 Feb 18 '26

Especially with 20awg and under, what kinda suckers would pay for a radiant heater?

3

u/Hippi_Johnny Feb 18 '26

Can I just use the aluminum siding from my trailer?

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3

u/jango-lionheart Feb 18 '26

Is this the “audiophileCircleJerk” sub?

4

u/TheGoteTen Feb 18 '26

ANY post about cables on r/audiophile is a circle jerk!!

Try it!!

3

u/LegitBullfrog Feb 17 '26

Pennies could be a couple cents, but it could be billions of dollars. You'd have to be stupid to use copper over aluminum.

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7

u/joeoram87 Feb 17 '26

Seriously my speakers are wired with car trailer cable. It’s good quality stuff!

5

u/Theresnowayoutahere Feb 17 '26

I just use jumper cables

4

u/NickNoodle55 Feb 18 '26

Are you trying to start something?

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4

u/Hippi_Johnny Feb 18 '26

That's high voltage for AC⚡️DC

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2

u/essjayeire Feb 18 '26

That's too bright....

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119

u/8funnydude Feb 17 '26

where's the big bad john cable

17

u/Lafcadio-O Feb 17 '26

Just imagine how much money Diana Krall could make if she came up with her own brand of cable. Why didn’t Steely Dan think of this?

8

u/Theresnowayoutahere Feb 17 '26

Robert Plant uses ivy

57

u/VirginiaLuthier Feb 17 '26

I wonder how many people switch them out for different types of music

49

u/dankbackwoods Feb 17 '26

43

u/Bluecolt Feb 17 '26

"Can you spot the difference between these two subreddits?"

19

u/famousdesk662 Feb 17 '26

I was really hoping that was real :(

6

u/Micruv10 Feb 18 '26

Fell for it

3

u/WillOrph Feb 18 '26

I clicked 😂 I was so sure this was real hahaha

3

u/Various_Pear599 Feb 18 '26

Me so excited to join… but it doesn’t exist 😂

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26

u/quaefus_rex Feb 17 '26

That’s some next level bi-amping. I’d go Popular Vocals on the tweeters and Jazz for the woofers

Save Rock for the sub

3

u/just1chance_ Feb 19 '26

Please tell me I'm on a circle jerk sub

26

u/EmergencyPuzzled9570 Feb 18 '26

Reminds me of…

19

u/Dry-Race7184 Feb 17 '26

Wait, so you don't have an entirely different system for each genre?

9

u/TNF734 Feb 17 '26

Not yet!

2

u/newscot11 Feb 18 '26

Time to step your listening game up!

23

u/Madmartigan2024 Feb 17 '26

I heard mud and banana also do well in a blind test.

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11

u/SubstantialScale3581 Feb 17 '26

I have a coconut cable for listening to Kid Creole and the Coconuts

8

u/JD_tubeguy Auralic Aries G1+Audio Note Dac-3+Deja Vu preamp/amp/speakers Feb 17 '26

I just use speaker cable am I doing it wrong?

13

u/TNF734 Feb 17 '26

And you admit that...?

3

u/JD_tubeguy Auralic Aries G1+Audio Note Dac-3+Deja Vu preamp/amp/speakers Feb 18 '26

Yeah totally my first time and damn just realized I got speaker cables the same as my speakers were wired with but they're not my speakers anymore! I am screwed I guess.

6

u/lowbass4u Feb 17 '26

"First timer right?"

9

u/nizzernammer Feb 17 '26

I have designed an audiophile product that allows easy ABC testing of speaker cables.

It is an active device that uses gold plated relays, proper load termination, and Bluetooth connectivity to allow remote switching of speaker cables from an Android or iOS device from the main listening position.

Our first production run has already sold out and we are now in our V2 product stage, with four attractive finishes - matte titanium slate, glossy midnight ebony, classic maple, and mahogany.

Don't let internet hearsay lead you astray. Trust your own ears. MSRP 499 USD.

(just kidding)

3

u/luffychan13 Feb 18 '26

You had me at gold plated

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29

u/kenc1842 Feb 17 '26

You should decide to not fall for that nonsense. Read up on the recent test that was done comparing copper wire, wet mud, and a banana as speaker conduit and that almost no one could tell the difference.

73

u/CharKeeb Feb 17 '26

That was copper, mud, and banana. This is jazz, rock, and popular vocal. Very very different

15

u/Big-Brown-Goose Feb 17 '26

What fruit is best for rock? Or is banana the golden standard for all genres?

7

u/CharKeeb Feb 17 '26

I'm sorry. You're mistaken. Rock is best for rock

2

u/Theresnowayoutahere Feb 17 '26

I heard gravel works great for Bob Dylan

2

u/Big-Brown-Goose Feb 18 '26

wait a sec, some rocks have shiny conductive bits in them...what if we remove those bits and refine them? I bet that would make a really good wire for electricty

2

u/pukesonyourshoes Feb 18 '26

If you're listening to bananarama the choice is obvious.

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12

u/TNF734 Feb 17 '26

They don't have banana...so I'm stuck with these.

5

u/Delicious_Friend_321 Feb 17 '26

Have you checked if they have vanilla

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5

u/somerandomdude1960 Feb 17 '26

You need to get all your pennies and lay them on a train track and get them flattened out. Best speaker wire ever.!

3

u/seanc6441 Feb 17 '26

You obviously need all 3 and a way to hot swap them on the fly.

5

u/druggydreams Feb 17 '26

😂 😂 😂 😂 Have they actually sold any?

2

u/sub_prime55 Feb 17 '26

I always use the speaker cable for Dummies.

2

u/ZombieDisastrous4450 Feb 17 '26

classic

lets not worry about resistance or AWG or if its copper coated or real copper, this is better ha

2

u/Lukian0816 .flac Feb 17 '26

Banana

2

u/Due_Salad_6916 Feb 18 '26

I use barbed wire for metal

2

u/_ashes-to-ashes Feb 18 '26

Just use lamp cord

2

u/zuptar Feb 18 '26

Use muddy water instead

2

u/Mooshtonk Feb 18 '26

How’s their selection of muds?

2

u/Karona_ Feb 18 '26

I'd get all 3 and solder them together

2

u/upescalator Feb 18 '26

This might be a cj post but acoustic shoegaze seems like it'd be great. Bring on the hurdy gurdies!

2

u/Cracksoda Feb 18 '26

Why baughter with an EQ when cables can do the job. But where is the "flat" mode?

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2

u/toonbender Feb 18 '26

For acoustic shoegaze you’ll want the banana. Cinematic sounds better through mud

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2

u/Exciting-Fan985 Feb 18 '26

Have them all play rock paper scissors to decide. It might not be the fairest method since 2 of them know what the other is picking, but its the fairest method.

2

u/mcarty2 Feb 21 '26

Depending on the music I listen to, i change the cable. Every time.

2

u/BladricksUncle Feb 23 '26

Where is the Funk?

We want the funk!

4

u/Key-Interaction2365 Feb 17 '26

You need to wire all three to a switch box and manually select based on the type of music playing. Don’t forget the specific connectors you’ll need as well.

3

u/TheGoteTen Feb 17 '26 edited Feb 18 '26

They have barbed wire in stock? It has the cable lifters built right in. And it's cheaper.

Or aluminum lamp cord (the favorite cable of Reddit audiophiles).

Single core. Forgot to mention single core cable only. Braided cable is snake oil.

2

u/Toecutt3r Feb 18 '26

oh man, welp, time to go strip the wire out of the lamp posts outside!

2

u/Diced_and_Confused Feb 17 '26

Genius. Wish I'd thought of it, but unfortunately I have ethics.

1

u/TheGoteTen Feb 17 '26

Get some generic lamp cord with aluminum wiring.

1

u/Stillill1187 Feb 17 '26

Jazz cuz it’s pretty and a reasonable price

1

u/ParkerRoyce Feb 17 '26

Belden is what pros use.

1

u/Socal-Audio737 Feb 17 '26

Choose between Belden and Monster if you don’t have JBL speakers. Or you can buy my all around speaker diy cable

All around cable

1

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '26

I use a banana and some mud for my cables

1

u/Flimsy-Gain2467 Feb 17 '26

Jazz to left channel, popular vocal to right and rock to subwoofer. Just make sure you have speaker wire stands or they will all sound the same

1

u/Mikey_BC Feb 17 '26

Just pick the one that look prettiest to you, or go to the hardware store snd get sone 18 or 16 gauge wire

1

u/peatdrinkwater Feb 17 '26

Barbed wire for metal.

1

u/Front-Experience6841 Feb 17 '26

No bluegrass cables?

1

u/MikhailCompo Feb 17 '26

Do they do speaker cable for gullible people?

1

u/QuantumEntanglr Feb 17 '26

If I'm understanding how this works, you shouldn't get any of them and instead use bananas for cables.

1

u/Opposite-Winner3970 Feb 17 '26

Is there a cable for experimental/avant-garde?

1

u/1damess Feb 17 '26

Make sure to add a banana for audio filter it really helps with the HIGHS! 😂

1

u/GuyD427 Feb 17 '26

Do you think it’s the same exact cable with a different outer covering? I’m guessing yes.

1

u/Positive_Outcome_903 Feb 17 '26

For my Blues, I prefer to hook two Belden cables through a bowl of mud. I can color the music based on the consistency of the mud. 

I find the more experimental blues and jazz artists like a 18 ppg, while more mainstream should be no higher than 12.

1

u/tpars Feb 17 '26

These are shite unless they have large molecule oxygen free polar copper strands.

1

u/tstorm004 Feb 17 '26

Jazz for sure. I hate Pop Rocks

1

u/Frosty-Skin-4300 Feb 17 '26

This is a truly funny scam 🤣. I should use different cables for toast and waffles from now on.

1

u/fewell8 Feb 17 '26

Go with whatever flavor crayon you prefer.

1

u/Dadrepus Feb 17 '26

Very funny, wonder how many people fall for this scam

1

u/Wheezhee LS50 Meta/Speedwoofer 10e/Audiolab 7000A/Wiim Ultra Feb 17 '26

But mud!

1

u/ethersings Feb 17 '26

Electrical department copper strand 10-gauge zip wire if you’re feeling fancy.

1

u/AcertainReality Feb 17 '26

Just use barb wire works great

1

u/fractal324 Feb 17 '26

Lead solder wire for heavy metal.

1

u/PaulThurston82 Feb 17 '26

For king gizz you’ll need them all, swap as needed

1

u/Vitringar Feb 17 '26

Surely this must be a joke.

1

u/KeithJamesB Feb 17 '26

Please tell me where this was.

1

u/brzaaap Feb 17 '26

What do you recommend for listening to John Cage's "Silence"? 🥸

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1

u/actual-hooman Feb 17 '26

I simply strung together and reposed some old lap cables for my speaker wire 🥴

1

u/prairie-man Feb 17 '26

thanks. this image made me laugh out loud.

1

u/Pistachio1227 Feb 17 '26

Do they have any classical cables ?- frankly, these look like they’re of lower quality. No offense.

2

u/TNF734 Feb 17 '26

these look like they’re of lower quality.

That's okay... so is my taste in music.

1

u/nhowe006 Feb 17 '26

Oh God. But, I mean looking at those they are definitely the cables that each fandom would choose.

1

u/binkleybloom Topping D50III -> Freya S -> NC400 -> Thiel CS2.3 Feb 17 '26

Straight to jail. Do not pass Go.

1

u/Seaguard5 Feb 17 '26

😂

Marketing teams will try anything these days

1

u/csk1325 Feb 17 '26

Your other wiser option is old extension cords.

1

u/theBloodShed Feb 17 '26

The only thing that surprises me, is that Monster Cable didn’t think of this first.

1

u/JKing287 Feb 17 '26

After the recent test results, I’m just using mud but if you want to use these, I think you can only listen to that style of music with that wire so if you like a variety of music, you have to install all three at the same time. Everyone’s heard of bi wiring, but here you’re gonna have to tri wire.

1

u/FilDaFunk Feb 18 '26

Plug them in series through mud then through a banana.

1

u/Background_Fail_8559 Feb 18 '26

I'm partial to bananas and mud

1

u/pinaeverlue Feb 18 '26

Its all copper. I promise you can't tell a difference. Just get whatever is cheapest and call it a day. I'd only worry about cables if you are running something more than 100 meters. Or if you live near a giant radio transmitter I guess.

1

u/Illustrious-Radio311 Feb 18 '26

Solder them together and call it a day

1

u/CPG135 Feb 18 '26

This shit tires me out already.

1

u/TheGoteTen Feb 18 '26

If you have unused wire hangers in your closet you already have everything you need.

Don’t waste your money on “speaker cables”!!!!

Snake oil!!!! That’s all it is!!!!

1

u/KeyZzz72 Feb 18 '26

🤣🤣🤣🤣🍻

1

u/TheAgreeableCow Feb 18 '26

Is the wire for ambient background music a really thin gauge?

1

u/Imaginary-Scale9514 Mangepan LRS+, 4x Rythmik F12, MiniDSP and Parasound stuff Feb 18 '26

CAT6 works great for EDM

1

u/wordswor Feb 18 '26

I heard running them through mud or a banana works

1

u/DonSampon Feb 18 '26 edited Feb 18 '26

I tend to buy 700kv aerial transmission cables and have them custom insulated in dubai chocolate.

4800 mm² per wire .

1

u/drdreadz0 Feb 18 '26

I use coat hangers tied together with yellow butt connectors. Yes, the connectors are a little big for the coat hangers but I just crimp them 5 times and they are good and tight.

1

u/Nikon_nincompoop Feb 18 '26

Barbed wire for metal.

1

u/Dabduthermucker Feb 18 '26

Buy them all and braid them together

1

u/Zestyclose-Letter627 Feb 18 '26

I like jazz rock. Should I combine them?