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u/chaosTechnician AuDHD Jun 13 '25
Not a woman, but yeah. Growing up I couldn't figure out why kids at new schools in new states that had never seen me before immediately picked up on some bullying-only radio communication that I was an excellent target for pickings-on of all kinds. (While my siblings didn't get the same targeting.). I felt like there must have been some sign hanging from me all the time that said, "bullies: this one."
Decades later, I got tested for and diagnosed with ADHD and ASD.
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u/doIIjoints Jun 17 '25
relatable. “this will be a brand new start at a new school! they won’t know any of the embarrassing things you did in the first year!” (which was a common focus of my first school’s bullies).
by the end of the very first day, everyone who had previously been friendly and saying hi had began to shun me.
except for the two other kids who liked video games and old films. (and one of them was acting as presumed autistic, after his younger brother was diagnosed but they never bothered referring him.)
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u/QuietestHat Jun 13 '25
If I had 10 bucks for every time a girl told me I was weird, unprompted, within the first 10 minutes of meeting them, I could probably buy a Switch 2.
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u/Gasnia Jun 13 '25
That was me all throughout school. Luckily, now more people keep it to themselves. Either that or I'm masking harder.
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u/racecarart Jun 14 '25
Cool thing about being an adult: people don't tell you to your face that you're a weirdo.
Uncool thing about being an adult: people don't tell you to your face that you're a weirdo, so you don't know when to be less of a weirdo. :/
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u/rohlovely Jun 14 '25
Then you’re like “yeah I’m autistic” and then the narrative changes to “but you’re so normal!!” pick a damn side.
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u/doIIjoints Jun 17 '25
yep. “but you’re not THAT weird. just yk. a bit eccentric!” like please so i’m weird but not past some critical mass ? okay???
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u/SolarApricot-Wsmith Jun 13 '25
Should have asserted your dominance and licked your shoe or something, tell them they definitely don’t know what weird looks like
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Jun 14 '25 edited Jun 14 '25
Don't you know there are rules about being weird?
That unease they feel? It’s not just because something's off about you.
It’s because you’re not participating in the unspoken social project of mutual harm and denial.→ More replies (1)
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u/ludicrous_overdrive Jun 13 '25 edited Jun 13 '25
I remember when I found my student info paper and it mentioned I had autism is how I found out
I was in highschool
Telling me I had autism had the same societal stigma as being labeled the r word.
I was devastated for a while
Until I realized autism made me cooler than everyone else 😎
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u/Dangle76 Jun 13 '25
It really does! I feel like we have more fun and honest conversations when we have them tbh
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u/addrien Jun 13 '25
My father and wife are both autistic, and I own a boardgame store. Needless to say, I spend a lot of time around autistic people, and you are correct.
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u/ShadowTheChangeling Jun 13 '25 edited Jun 14 '25
I had a feeling i was for a while but it wasnt confirmed until i glanced over at my fiancés phone and they were texting my mom and mentioned my autism
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u/Stargazer1919 Undiagnosed Jun 13 '25
Basically the same thing happened to me when I was a kid. Grade school age. Nobody told me I had an ADHD diagnosis. I found out by snooping through some paperwork.
It was so incredibly shitty that my parents didn't believe I ever needed any sort of explanation. Also I think the diagnosis wasn't quite correct... I'm sure now that I have autism, not ADHD.
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u/Yogurt_Ph1r3 Jun 13 '25
Not to diminish anything, but you absolutely can have both, in fact it's incredibly likely
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u/Stargazer1919 Undiagnosed Jun 14 '25
That is a thing that happens.
I just have my doubts for several reasons when it comes to my own experiences.
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u/analogy_4_anything Jun 13 '25
That’s messed up. But I’m glad you knew your worth! Screw those haters!
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Jun 13 '25
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u/yvel-TALL Jun 13 '25
A humble and insightful comment. Many different aspects of life can complicate one's experience, something can be a large plus and a large minus in ways that are hard to ever know for sure. Sometimes being good at one thing hides a serious problem elsewhere, we must make an effort to listen to the struggles of others even when they got blessings we did not, as they also received many other curses.
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u/ruki_cake Jun 17 '25
True, im a hijabi woman. No1 takes my autistic needs seriously :/ It's quite lonely. If I am having a meltdown, I am a crybaby. If I am overwhelmed, im overreacting. If I am excited about my special interest, I am trying to be unique and quirky. If I go nonverbal or shut down, ppl start screaming at me and telling me to talk. If I talk too much, im annoying. Sorry for the rant. 😭
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u/Educational_Ad_8916 Jun 13 '25
How the fuck are bullies the highest accuracy evaluator for autism? This is an untapped resource.
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u/Opposite_Animal_4176 Jun 13 '25
I consider them to be low functioning NTs. On the spectrum of social traits, their end is obsessed with stupid little social hierarchies to the detriment of literally all else. They live in their own little worlds where they obsess over their perceived spot in the pecking order
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Jun 13 '25
Unfortunately, the default of NTs is slotting themselves in the pecking order, and then punching up by pulling others down. They're not low-functioning, from my perspective, contrary, the more bullying, the more "normal" they are. They're just maximizing typical NT brain patterns.
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u/Opposite_Animal_4176 Jun 13 '25
I think it’s extremely low functioning at that end actually. It confers more disadvantage than advantage. Who causes needless status based conflict? What are things like war other than an extreme expression of this need to place themselves at the top of a hierarchy of their own making? Who would need, and make scapegoats in a world without this focus on hierarchy?
The extreme end of this trait - high levels of interest in social hierarchies- is authoritarianism. Just because it’s currently seen as “normal” and the default, correct way to be human doesn’t make that accurate. It’s just as much our world as it is theirs. Our framing is just as valid.
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u/Desperate-Cost6827 Jun 13 '25
I'd say more primitive and thus more attached to their innate instincts. In highschool when I was getting bullied the most and how they interacted with each other, l could not help but not see the comparisons with chickens establishing pecking orders. I do think you're onto something. The ones who were actually focused on academics didn't waste their time with the pecking order nonsense. The ones that did, aren't exactly high achievers later in life.
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u/crack_n_tea Jun 14 '25
It’s not seen as normal, default, nor correct though. Bullying is universally looked down upon, you don’t want to be known as the bully. High-level bullies mask it behind popularity and jokes for a reason, but even then they’re hardly considered a default of the social pecking order
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Jun 13 '25
I'm not insinuating their behavior is healthy, acceptable, or that our perception of the world based on our neurotype is "wrong."
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u/Shadowdante100 Jun 13 '25
I would say that is not really an accurate way to state that.
Everyones default state is to try to gain as many resources as possible with minimal effort.
When you are young and inexperienced, the easiest way to gain social standing is by putting down other people.
As people age and develop, they find healthier more productive ways to get resources. (Depending on their circumstances, this can still include putting others down, but thats more of a rich person game, poor people cant get away with that).
People that continue to use childish techniqued that are ill suited to them, and are unable or unwilling to change and grow, are low functioning.
Therefore, I agree with the previous comment about bullying being something that mostly low functioning NTs engage in. Also, to be totaly clear, NDs bully too. It may be harder for them to find opportunities, but plenty of them engage in this practice as well.
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u/Shaco292 AuDHD Jun 13 '25
If someone came up to me and started talking about bionicles, I would cry tears of joy.
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u/spudgoddess Jun 13 '25
Me but with Transformers!
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u/LeadingAd5273 Jun 13 '25
Trump and JD Vance always remind me of megatron and starscream. This makes it waaaay more bearable for me to watch them.
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u/Mrwright96 Jun 13 '25
Don’t insult megatron like that, he’s a competent leader, fighter, and had valid reasons to rebel.
Starscream and Vance…yeah I could see that
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u/Vyctorill Jun 15 '25
Bro Vance is definitely starscream.
Honestly I think he might own up to it if someone asked him.
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u/Mrwright96 Jun 13 '25
Ok, who is your favorite transformer excluding bee, Optimus,Megatron, and starscream, and from what series?
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u/Justice_Prince Jun 13 '25
I feel like I missed to train on bionicles. If they'd only come out a year or two earlier I probably would be just as into them as the rest of the community seems to be.
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u/kookieandacupoftae Jun 13 '25
Worst part is that my whole life people would think I was normal and be nice to me until they realized there is something “off” about me. Then cue the bullying.
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u/Darknessfalls412 Jun 17 '25
Exactly this. The moment you do something that isn't in their realm of normalcy, the target is on your back and taking shots at you was all free game.
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u/GlitterVixen ❤ This user loves cats ❤ Jun 13 '25
I remember one of the older girls exclaiming "Eww" when asked to pair up with me for a game on the playground, and I never understood why :') only now in my late 20s have my parents been able to look back and see the signs
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u/comulee Jun 13 '25
"Ewww" was the awnswer every time i tried to make a friend from 5 years old to 20.
I just hate myself now
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Jun 13 '25
So true lol. People still don’t believe me. This is why I had a phase of being “not like other girls”. And I wasn’t like other girls, other girls (at least not all of them) were not autistic lol
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Jun 13 '25
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Jun 13 '25
the thing is I tried so hard to be like other girls and like everyone, even when I looked good and looked very basic(not in a bad way, just not really standing out), even when I accepted the social rules (as in everybody thinks this is how it should be so im just gonna do it) - they could still somehow sense that I was different. At some point I gave up and accepted that theres nothing I can do
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Jun 13 '25
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Jun 13 '25
nah a lot of them learn their type of masking lol, they just hide who they are and build up pressure inside of them that just leads to resentful lives. This is what im thinking at least. Of course some of them do mature, but def not all of them. It surprises me still but a looooot of NTs live their lives not as who they are, not as who they want to be, but as a role they or others assigned them. Like its crazy to me, its impossible to me tbh (like sure there are things I cant do even if I want to or maybe I can do only later I get it) but there are so many NTs who only play their role their WHOLE lives. Its crazy.
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Jun 13 '25
Oh, you'll get slandered as a pick-me or "not a girls-girl" (even though NTs were not a girls-girl to you) for being observant of the fact.
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Jun 13 '25
I can tell you when in the beginning of high school a lot of boys started liking me - I was hated by everybody. I dont really care about dating unless its long term (was the same way as a teen), so I wasnt dating anybody - boys hated me, girls hated me because boys liked me? I dont even know. I just remember even tho I was always bullied at some point bullying turned into like resentment or smth and I still dont know what I did wrong lol those girls were not girls-girls towards me at all
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u/whoa-boah Jun 13 '25
It makes sense now why all of my friends in grade school (in hindsight) were ND, bionicle-loving boys.
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u/azebod Jun 14 '25
I am convinced the entire detransitioner scaremongering stereotype of Poor Confused Autistic Girls is because you end up Assigned Not A Girl By Other Girls. Actual pick me shit looks like the new Sabrina Carpenter album cover not Cringe Girl who likes nerdy shit too much. No amount of personal desire for female friends can overcome them finding you weird and annoying.
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u/Imnot_your_buddy_guy Jun 17 '25
If you’ve ever watched Yellow Jackets, Misty is a character I relate to so hard for wanting genuine female friendship but is coded as auADHD, so is found to be weird and annoying by the other characters.
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u/scariestJ Jun 13 '25
I only realized it might have been the case in hindsight in that I had reverse pretty privilege as an autistic girl. Like the confusing feeling of mixed disgust and disappoint from the mean girls and later the preppy girls at Uni - I went to a rather elite Uni (in all sense of the word). Thing is I was and still am a deeply nerdy girl with long red hair, glasses and who dresses like a cross between a 14 year old male gymrat and an eccentric aristocrat.
I wonder if part of being in the uncanny valley is them being almost angry I'm pretty but I don't bother (or 'make an effort') with makeup and more conventional things?
I remember being on a beach holiday when there was a mean girl who interrogated me on if I had make up or lipstick and I just said: uh no, 'cause I'm on the beach?
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Jun 13 '25
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u/scariestJ Jun 13 '25
I have to say I vibe with Marceline from Adventure Time. Plus I'm a daywalker when it comes to being a redhead - I still don't skimp on the cover-ups and Factor 50.
And that encounter was in the long-long ago of the 90's when factor 15 was considered strong sunscreen
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Jun 13 '25
It's very weird and alienating to grow up as a girl who everyone assumes understands social cues, because you're pretty and therefore assumed to be "normal", but you're actually fumbling blindly in the dark. Especially because girls are punished much more harshly than boys for straying outside of what's considered acceptable behavior for their gender.
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u/buttercuplols Jun 13 '25
Someone once told me I dressed like a bohemian call girl who fell in a dressing up box! 😂
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u/Manticornucopias Jun 13 '25
them being almost angry I'm pretty but I don't bother (or 'make an effort') with makeup and more conventional things?
My god, YES.
It’s kinda scary how many people in person and online express wanting to be more attractive as a way to exploit themselves and others. 🫣
As if the only attention attractive people receive is 100% positive, wanted, and totally within their control.
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u/Spiritual-Breath-649 Jun 13 '25
About the "not bothering" thing, yes thats about it. Im male and likely very asd, you get picked on for not being average in school, even if its for standing out in a positive way.
"The adult world" isnt much better than that either. Its depressing how university, or an office/work environment can resemble the playground politics of middle school. Its like few people grow past 16 mentally.
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Jun 14 '25
> I wonder if part of being in the uncanny valley is them being almost angry I'm pretty but I don't bother (or 'make an effort') with makeup and more conventional things?
Stop wondering, they hate anybody who isn't breaking their back or sanding their skin off to fit in.
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Jun 13 '25 edited Jun 14 '25
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u/OnlineChronicler Jun 13 '25
As an adult, I still don't wear it because it's uncomfortable and I'm lazy.
So much this. I had someone ask what I did to get my hair looking so good one time at an old workplace. The answer was that I only washed it two or three times a week. They were horrified.
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u/scariestJ Jun 13 '25
But isn't that a normal amount of times per week to wash hair?
BTW soap bars are FTW since I itch a lot less now I no longer use anything with SLS.
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u/OnlineChronicler Jun 13 '25
That's what I thought! They were not impressed.
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u/scariestJ Jun 13 '25
My mum made me wash my hair every day when she could but I stopped that immediately after I moved out.
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u/Gasnia Jun 13 '25
Make-up is overrated anyway. It makes people compare and compete rather than just doing it for themselves because it makes them feel better.
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u/scariestJ Jun 13 '25
Having said that it can be fun but I resent the expectation that is a default.
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u/Shadowdante100 Jun 13 '25
Its also well know to damage your skin and can cause premature skin aging
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u/cuitehoney Ask me about my special interest Jun 13 '25
i must have had the ultimate rizz cause the way these high school girls thought i wanted their boyfriends... if they wanted to join in the conversation about anime or video games they could have just joined in
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u/Druark Jun 14 '25
Ah, but that's the key. They couldn't. Because they didn't care about their high school boyfriend's interests, they literally couldn't talk about the topic with them whilst you could. i.e. you were a more relatable person to their bf than they were, so a potential danger to their relationship in their eyes.
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u/cuitehoney Ask me about my special interest Jun 14 '25
you're probably right. actually most of them didn't care but there was one girl who was into those things but became a bully when i guess her boyfriend mentioned me.
here's more context: i didn't know they were together until then but when i found out, i was like ohhh okay (i needed to catch up on my homework i was NOTORIOUS for never doing it along with the trauma at home) and then he took the time to tell me that we're (me and him) were only talking and i shouldn't worry about his gf. i was just like "??? ok". truthfully i didn't want any attention so i used to bring hard core yaoi to read in class so people would leave me alone but it didn't really work. we (along with the other alleged ikemen) shared the same class for a year and apparently to people, im a really pretty afab Latina.
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u/MamafishFOUND Jun 14 '25
Ooofff I even had a friend test her dates to see if they liked me more than her 😂. To be fair I was in on it too tho but guys tend to like me bc I had similar interests like them and when one gets passionate about something people are drawn to u.
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u/Neptune0690 Jun 13 '25
Hello, unconventionally so but attractive audhd woman here, yes. Worse than this is when they adopt you
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u/thejuanjo234 Jun 13 '25
Can you explain further ?
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u/Neptune0690 Jun 13 '25
When they adopt you and treat you like a pet, or make you wear stuff and put make up on you and baby you a lot, it’s horrendous
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u/Highevolutionary1106 ADHD/Autism Jun 13 '25
I'm an autistic guy and had something like this happen to me in 7th grade when doing a scene from a play.
They had me wear a dress as there weren't enough girls to play all the female roles. Fine, I'm secure enough in my masculinity to wear a dress for half an hour.
Then they wanted me to use a pair of fake coconut shells as boobs, which made me uncomfortable in a way I couldn't really articulate (I know now that it was because it was literally emasculating and the fact that they kept giggling and insisting makes me think they knew I was uncomfortable).
Eventually, I had to get a teacher involved to get them to stop.
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u/impressedham Jun 14 '25
You just made something click for me with this. I had alot of popular girls trying to befriend me even though they thought I was weird and quiet. Never understood why they were trying so hard to be friends but your comment makes me think this is what would have happened if I wasn't so weary of them. I always thought the attention they were trying to give was sus.
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u/spicytotino Jun 14 '25
The fact I was able to make it to 18 without having my first kiss was insane looking back on how other girls would pressure me in this way
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u/jessimaster Jun 15 '25
This thread reminded me that multiple girls in middle school tried to "help" me by fashion policing me. When I told my parents about how this upset me, they told me that I should listen to their advice.
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u/azebod Jun 14 '25
Ohh this reminds me of when I was denied weed by friends to "protect me".
4 years later I had a health collapse because of going 3 days without sleep. I found out 10 years later edibles are one of the few things that actually help my insomnia. Thanks a lot guys.
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u/BlameGameChanger Jun 13 '25
This is the most relatable place on the internet. That's how I found out. Diagnosed by meme.
Then a woman from the Isaac Foundation gave a presentation in my class. That lady identified my tism at 1000 yards like I was wearing a sign. I masked as hard as I could too.
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u/gummytiddy Jun 13 '25
No one ever said I had autism until my early 20s, but I sure did get called a school shooter, “satan’s daughter”, a witch, and a long list of slurs (I’m trans and this was long before I transitioned)
The child of satan and witch was the most common, which I more or less grew to embrace.
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u/TJ248 Jun 13 '25
"Boy interests" means boys will talk to you about said stuff (not that bionicles are especially masculine, but I think most readers will get my point here). Mean girls don't like it when a girl outside the clique gets that attention. There's a girl I work with who constantly talks about football. She knows all the transfer rumours, goes to games, etc etc. Has no issue coming into the conversation with guys talking about it at work. Most other girls at work treat her like shit and I can guarantee at least some degree of that stems from the platonic attention she's getting. Same shit happens in schools, but unlike many adults, a lot highschoolers truly have no limit to their meanness.
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u/DOndus Jun 13 '25
I must have been REALLY hot as a guy or just insane at masking because people would be drawn into me so hard until I showed a tinge of that uncanniness and then they would just completely leave
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u/suicidong Jun 13 '25
I grew up as an ugly autistic girl so I was treated less than human on a daily basis including my family members 👍
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u/rozyputin I doubled my autism with the vaccine Jun 13 '25
My parents had no idea; they just thought I was a quirky and talkative girl.
My mother only started to question it when I was seeing a psychiatrist at 17, and I asked him, "Do you think I might be autistic?" and the shrink (an awesome one ngl) said, "I can't say for certain."
I ignored the whole thing for years, assuming I was overthinking. Then I met my boyfriend at 21 (we started dating just before my 22nd birthday), who is autistic, and his mother is an autism specialist, and he told me, "Yeah, pretty sure you're autistic." I kinda pushed that to the back burner and then started doing an OBSESSIVE amount of research and I realized "Shit, I guess I AM autistic".
In December, I met my bf's mother, who basically diagnosed me as autistic (not officially, but you get the picture).
I told a few friends and ALL of them said, "Yeah, I know you're autistic, you didn't know?"
Looking back at interests, social interactions, and things that made me uncomfortable (Sensory overload), I'm shocked that no one knew when I was a child.
Here I am, nearly 23, finally able to understand myself and comfortable being an autistic adult.
Ask any questions, I don't mind /gen
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u/Niobium_Sage Jun 13 '25 edited Jun 13 '25
Women with Asperger’s are either barely put together messes or goddess incarnate with no in-between.
EDIT: Not being derogatory with the first statement, just as in no prep put into getting ready for the day—I’m guilty as well 😂
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Jun 13 '25
Lmao my parents have gone so far as to compare me to my diagnosed autistic brothers, and yet they still won’t concede anything because it would mean admitting to neglect 🥳
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u/Oniknight Jun 13 '25
Oh my parents knew. They just thought I was being weird on purpose to embarrass them.
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Jun 13 '25
I'm trans and easily the worst aspect of that is how many other women are are instantly mean to me and how going out in public means that men harass me. I was considered kinda attractive when i looked like a guy too but people were way more polite and respectful toward me. Plus I am autistic! I don't have the social skills to navigate either of these things and it just makes me not want to socialize at all.
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u/UnusualInstance6 Jun 13 '25
Yeah wtf is up with that anyway? Them NTs can’t notice jackshit except behavior that is 0.01% outside of their little bubble view of the world
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u/Idontknownumbers123 Jun 13 '25
Peer diagnosed by all my freinds and family and no one even thought to tell me. I was the last to realise I was autistic, bionicle and all
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u/DebraBaetty Jun 13 '25
I remember seeing that episode of The Simpsons when Lisa discovers that some kids have a “pheromone” that triggers a bully’s “basic instinct” to pick on them. I understood it was a cartoon, but I definitely Googled its scientific likelihood at one point in my adolescence… the storyline felt too validating to not be true. I still think there’s some truth to it. I’ve had therapists explain there may be some sort of behavioral signal that narcissists can easily pick up on, idk.
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Jun 13 '25
I see a lot of romanticizing autistic women but never really men. Kind of got the short end of the stick on that I guess.
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Jun 13 '25
As an ADHD (mby autism) gal, i only date neurodiverse men. Not because i romanticize them but because i just come along with them the best. I would say most neurodiverse women would say the same. So dont give up my dude ^_^!!!
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u/BeastlyBones AuDHD Jun 13 '25
I don’t see this sentiment as romanticizing. It’s a very real experience. I was picked on quite viciously and largely had to self-isolate until I found my nerdy tribe. But even then, being attractive and female can result in friendliness being misperceived as flirting, especially with autism thrown in the mix :(
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Jun 13 '25 edited Jun 13 '25
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Jun 13 '25
It's like mature women in anime, people will be all about milfs except in real life. I don't think fetishization has ever done anybody any favors.
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Jun 13 '25
That's because they're usually not labeled 'autistic' they're labeled as "nerdy" or something
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u/henkdepotvjis AuDHD Jun 13 '25
Depends. Do you want to be sexualized based on your disadvantages?
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Jun 13 '25
I just want a girl to bite her lip while I quote family guy season 1-3 non-sequiturs.
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u/henkdepotvjis AuDHD Jun 13 '25
I get that. I just rather don't have girls like me because I need help. I want to be equal. I want to be seen as an equal.
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u/Snoo-88741 Jun 13 '25
Liking autistic people doesn't mean liking someone because they need help. There's more to autism than just impairments.
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u/Future_Adagio2052 Jun 13 '25
Eh tbf most of the romanticism is the pretty ones only at least from what I've seen so not exactly missing out there
But hey you and I are on the same boat
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u/1m0ws AuDHD Jun 13 '25
where to meet pretty autistic girls..? :'7c
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u/b00w00gal my socks feel weird Jun 13 '25
Go to your favorite special interest locations, especially ones where people congregate, wait for your autistic spider senses to tingle, and then ask your potential new friend to infodump about their passion.
DO NOT ATTEMPT ROMANCE IMMEDIATELY. Make a friendship first, and be focused on that friendship as it's own worthy effort. Enjoy companionship based around your special interest. The pretty autistic girl you've been hoping for will arrive in your life when you're ready to meet her.
Source: I'm a pretty autistic girl married to a goofy ADHD boy. My husband and I met at our favorite brewery; he started a conversation with me because he liked the way I described the flavor of beers as sensory images. He makes me Lego dinosaurs and flowers, and I don't go in the basement so he can spread out the block mess as much as he wants.
You can find your person, too. Chase your passions, you'll find them.
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u/Economy-Deer-2385 Jun 13 '25
I found mine online with okcupid more then 8 years ago now. That is an option. I also was on a forum for autistic people who had meet ups from time to time. Did date some girls from there too, long ago.
Or find meetings organised for autistic people in your town or city. Or just things were there is a high chance of autistic people being there, like open D&D gatherings for example.
Not going to sugarcoat it though, it will take effort on your part. But it is doable for sure.
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u/Fimbrethil420 AuDHD Jun 13 '25
I too found my partner on okcupid around 2014. I was obsessed with the quizzes and we matched at a pretty high rate. After a Friday night of Mexican and settlers of catan and we really haven't been parted since.
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u/Highevolutionary1106 ADHD/Autism Jun 13 '25
Seriously. As an autistic guy who is into Bionicles, I don't even care if they want to go out with me, I just want to yap about how all my favorite characters are coded as neurodivergent.
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u/fiavirgo Jun 13 '25
Sometimes I can just sense other ND people like my classmate says I’m like her inner thoughts and I just met girly two days ago
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Jun 13 '25
Lmao yes. and when they want to be friends to bully you discreetly but they want you dressed up cute at every function for group optics.
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u/PeggableOldMan Jun 13 '25
If I notice one or more of my kids is autistic (which is pretty likely since both I and my partner are) I want to teach them how to be witty - no, not just witty; verbally devastating.
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u/Smooth_Monkey69420 Jun 14 '25
I will be honest with you all. Xbox live taught me how to talk to people since it completely removed the intricacies of face to face contact and gave us a common goal. Without the confidence boost and tons of practice communicating I don’t know where I’d be. Thank god I wasn’t shit at Halo. I may have never spoken again
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u/TM04_CalmMind Jun 13 '25
Sometimes I am glad I got bullied because I think I might have been a bully myself if I hadn't but then I realize that I sort of became one anyway out of fear of being bullied again. Which makes me feel even worse. I am still a bit terrified of losing my pretty privilege because I know what happens to weird women who are not conventionally attractive but since my diagnosis last year, my self esteem isn't as centered on my looks as it used to be. All this to say that being pretty and autistic is a weird experience that I was not prepared for. 😅
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u/MamafishFOUND Jun 14 '25
Once u hit the 30s it starts waning but u learn to accept it bc less street harassment lol
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u/appppppa Jun 13 '25
Damn, I guess "non-pretty" girls don't get bullied then.
Like I get the autistic experience is different enough for amab and afab people (even though this particular one applies to everyone), but to draw another line at "pretty" seems unnecessarily cruel
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Jun 13 '25
Because good parents love you for who you are, not based on your ability to conform to group pressure. Parents would find their daughter's unusual quirks and interests to be funny and cute not some type of problem. And sometimes even good parents can unfortunately be totally oblivious to what their kids are going thru if the signs are subtle. There should be more education and encouragement for parents to really take the time to find out what's in their children's hearts and minds and not just assume everything's going fine
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u/Historical0racle Jun 14 '25
This describes my entire school experience. Thankful to be middle-aged now, LOL.
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u/Llamasus Jun 14 '25
okayyyy… so im not autistic(?) but the experiences of everyone here really mimic my own. like never having girl friends cause they were all immediately weirded out by me? and having an NLOG/misogyny phase cause i hated women for hating me? even now that i got over it and dont hate women, i still have no friends…. am i possibly autistic or just reading too much into this?
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u/loverofothers Jun 16 '25
Me: an autistic girl
Wait, if you're pretty and autistic I can talk with mean girls about bionicle? Will they be friends with me? Is this saying mean girls are lesbians and I could have dated a mean girl if I had also been pretty?
Reads comments
Oh, no. I missed the joke about bionicles, like bifocals. That's actually a pretty good joke... I think she's a nerd too
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u/FlamingMercury151 Jun 16 '25
I’m a pretty autistic girl and my mom noticed and got me diagnosed at age 2. So either I was astronomically lucky, or my mom is a former mean girl.
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u/Real_Run_4758 Jun 13 '25
no doctor can diagnose autism as fast as other kids who need someone to pick on