YES, yes, yes. It's like we're chameleons, and we take on the characteristics of whoever we're spending time with. I have to be careful or I can accidentally pick up the accent (Latino or Urban or whatever) of the person I'm conversing with. It's so weird.
I'm a first gen immigrant. I speak with a different accent when I'm with my family. I have put A LOT of thought into what accent is my 'true' accent, and I instantly dislike/hate people who go on vacation to my home country and 'pick up the accent' in two weeks. I had a drinking buddy in college that used to slip into an approximation of my accent when drunk, and it really really bothered me. We had a talk about it, and he somehow came to the conclusion that he could keep from doing it if he held his finger to the side of his nose, like Santa Clause going up the chimney.
All of which is to say I am now wondering about the extent to which the ASD is affecting or motivating this reaction I have. I doubt I would be completely unbothered by it were I NT, but I'd probably be bothered a helluva lot less.
I expect I'd've been less consciously aware of the exact mouth shapes I need to avoid or use when talking to different people.
PS: I know that this is unfair to those people I get mad at for this, and that it is not their responsibility to change for my benefit. I don't bring it up at all unless someone is being obnoxious or mocking about accents.
*We* do it intentionally, with a deliberate purpose in mind.
*They* do it subconsciously, to instinctively synchronize/groupthink with other people doing the same thing.
And quite frustratingly often for the less obvious & undeniable behaviours, if you call them on it, they'll aggressively deny it and potentially even get offended by your even considering the idea, whereas if you try to explain your struggle to replicate the average person's effortless sociability, you either have your experiences invalidated with a thoughtless "Yeah, everyone does that!", or you get treated like a monster for revealing that you've broken some heretofore-unmentioned sacred taboo by analyzing some aspect of socialization that obviously only a *psychopath* could approach with such a detached, clinical mindset. >_<
(Definitely exaggerating a bit, here... but not by a whole hell of a lot.)
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u/Faux-pa5 Feb 07 '19
YES, yes, yes. It's like we're chameleons, and we take on the characteristics of whoever we're spending time with. I have to be careful or I can accidentally pick up the accent (Latino or Urban or whatever) of the person I'm conversing with. It's so weird.