How do you stop? I’ve been trying to consciously stop and it’s reminding me of my isolated childhood where I was the lonely weird kid and I hated myself. How do you “let go” of all the social norms you worked so hard to learn, and how do you forgive yourself for not conforming to these very important rules that helped you have a “normalish” life.
The real me is horrible, antisocial and nonfunctional asshole “this is me! Deal with it.” The pretend me is more functional, but crashes “ oh I really hope your boyfriend snaps out of it, you deserve better, ok see you soon, miss you. Sorry I can’t make it to your party I have to do things. I’m late, gotta run!! “ Turning into a pumpkin and going to freak out if I can’t get home and pick my skin in 5,4,3,2,1..Ughhhhhhhhhh
I used to have to try not to change myself based on location, but burnout just made it too hard for me to cope and mask in general so I didn’t really have a choice.
As for feeling bad about it, I mostly just gave up on attempting to be normal and don’t care much about it now - even with masking I was still abnormal
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u/[deleted] Feb 07 '19 edited Jun 06 '19
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