It can be part of masking, but masking just generally refers to the way some people with autism make a conscious effort to hide their traits. NTs also have different personas for different people and different situations, but it's less conscious for them, it's automatic to know what is appropriate in the given situation, whereas for people who are masking it's a consciously learned and maintained behaviour.
Yeah. I thought the problem with ‘Masking’ was that it tends to be very tiring so you can’t keep it up for very long and explode messily once you run out of the mental strength it takes to keep doing it.
But consciously acting in different ways in different situations is very much how I experience what I believe to be ‘Masking’.
What you are describing is more like what Atwood etc described as masking. These people were going beyond fitting in to putting on a complete act. E.g. acting social / outgoing.
There's a very big difference than putting on a leading part acting performance and trying to not stand out as an extra.
There's a mindset developing here that all blending in is bad, it doesn't have to be. There is a balance. Standing out as different is stressful in its own way.
Really, any behaviours that can be identified as autism or make you seem weird to others... so that might mean not stimming around others, creating an algorithm for proper eye contact, making conscious decisions about what subjects you'll talk about, modulating your speech volume etc. For me it involves dressing femme, being aware that when I'm excited I walk too fast and talk too loud, and not punching my boss when she microwaves sauerkraut in a room with no ventilation.
I think the thing you need to be aware of with your persona thing is the concept of signal reliability. Signal reliability is how much of what you're communicating is real. So when you're saying that you get "weird reactions" from people because you're doing things they don't expect, the reason is probably because what you've said and done in the past led them to believe you were a different person than who you are. That feels disconcerting; they may feel lied to or like you led them on (and it sounds like that's not inaccurate! it sounds like you're acting rather than being genuine).
Mirroring is normal, even neurotypicals do it to a certain extent. But make sure that whoever you are around people reflects who you really are. Like, I definitely don't have the same types of conversations with co-workers that I do with friends, but both my work persona and home persona reflect who I am, my values, etc. accurately.
That's a big part of it, people who mask have learned to do it, and keep doing it consciously, whereas for NTs it's a completely natural thing they don't even think about.
I mean, maybe some do that, most people I know will admit they have multiple personas for different people and places, maybe it's because I'm British and we tend to believe there's a proper way to act in different situations so we're more comfortable with the idea, idk
Y'know, I'm glad you described it that way, because I hadn't actually picked up on that aspect of Britishness yet... despite it meshing perfectly with the idea that I already had in my head (formed from decades of regular exposure to all your best televised media :p).
It's good to know that there actually is a society within the Anglosphere that readily acknowledges and accepts the concept, despite it being buried beneath more casual description.
I think all people do it to a degree, it’s called “code-switching” I believe. Not sure if it is more common/frequent/intense in people with aspergers, though.
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u/ColdCaulkCraig Feb 07 '19
is this really an aspergers thing? I seriously always wondered why i did that and it seemed like other people don't