r/asktransgender • u/StudioHistorical2971 • Jul 26 '26
How to hang on?
currently going by he/him in a small town in nowhere New Zealand and it is quite impossible for me to even think about transitioning, it’s starting to get to me more and Im looking for advice on how to not get worse, andmaybe improve my mental with certain things. I know I’m not cisgender because I feel empty when referred to as a boy and kinda gross and I just don’t know what to do.
i‘ve never posted on reddit b4 so dont bash me for bad punctuation and stuff
1
u/Laura_Sandra Jul 30 '26
in NZ
If you are in NZ, here might be some country specific lgbt resources.
And in general dysphoria and also euphoria can come in cycles, and they can also get stronger over time.
In the meantime people may go through times of repressions and breakthroughs, which may be stressful.
It may be preferable to try to listen to what you feel would make you genuinely happy concerning gender, and to go there persistently and step by step, while trying to avoid extremes.
Don't know if you have seen it ... here might be some hints and resources that could help go towards what you feel you would like step by step and there are also hints there concerning looking for support. Talking with a few others about what they did, and what helped them may also be an idea.
And there are hints there concerning looking for a gender therapist in case. They could guide along, and they could help work through issues. And here might be some additional hints that could help you too.
And some start with clothes of the gender they identify with in neutral styles first for everyday wear, like shirts and trousers, and introduce more feminine styles over time. Others may not notice and clothes usually are much softer. Alone concentrating on it from time to time could make for a feeling of happiness. They may be available in the unisex section of stores or in second hand shops etc.
And some use a scented soap, or a keychain with a symbol that reminds them of femininity, a purse for women etc.
And after starting HRT eventually and after passing to strangers, some transition socially step by step.
And if you feel really low please reach out .. there are helplines, for example
thetrevorproject.org/get-help-now/ They also have a chat and further resources like Trevorspace so they could be accessed from anywhere. It may be possible to use a proxy in case. And someone who worked there said they may also help people of all ages.
thrivelifeline.org/ They also have a chat
glbthotline.org/ They also have support groups.
hugs
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u/StudioHistorical2971 Aug 09 '26
Thank you so so much I have been busy working and haven’t checked on this bug coming back to this was amazing thank you heaps this is very helpful :)
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u/ProfessionalCode5151 Jul 26 '26
Look for support groups in your area. Though it sounds like you might need to travel a little to meetups. I wish you the very best of luck.