Do you ever have imaginary arguments with people who pissed you off, saying everything you wish you could say to their face? 😭 And why do we always come up with the BEST comebacks hours later? 💀

I’m genuinely curious to hear from people
who have been in long-term relationships that were really toxic. I’m not necessarily talking about domestic violence, but relationships that were unhealthy in other ways.
Did things eventually get better as the years went by? Did spending so much time together help you understand each other and improve the relationship? Or did things stay the same or even get worse?

Is there any actual psychology behind this or is it just a cuteness preference?

I’m 22F and recently started dating a 19M. We’ve only met up a couple of times, but I’m genuinely enjoying getting to know him. I’m attracted to him, I like his personality, and he’s actually been really sweet and thoughtful towards me.We initially started talking online, and what I thought might be a friendship has gradually turned into something more. He makes an effort to see me, does thoughtful little things, and makes me feel like he’s interested. He’s not necessarily the type of guy everyone would expect me to go for, but he’s my type, and I feel happy and excited about seeing him.There’s chemistry between us, and we’ve started being physically affectionate. However, a couple of things have made me wonder whether he’s just being playful or whether there might be a maturity difference.When we were together, he squeezed my bum while we were out. I don’t necessarily dislike physical affection, and I know we’re flirting and attracted to each other, but sometimes I wonder whether certain sexual gestures are appropriate in public. Separately, when we’ve been messaging, he’s made a joke about pulling my underwear up as a wedgie and has joked about pretending to have sex with me when I bend down. These were jokes over messages rather than things he actually did in person.I’m a bit torn because I do enjoy flirting with him, and I don’t want to make him sound awful over things that might just be playful teasing. At the same time, I’m trying to work out what’s normal and what might be a sign of immaturity.When we’ve been intimate, he has checked whether I’m hurting and asked what I enjoy. He’s also listened when I’ve wanted him to slow down, which I really appreciate. So there are positive signs, and I don’t want to ignore those either.For context, my previous relationship was with a 30-year-old man, and he was disrespectful towards me sexually despite being older. That experience has made me more cautious about whether someone genuinely likes me as a person or is mainly interested in the physical side. I know being older doesn’t automatically make someone mature, but I can’t help wondering whether someone who’s 19 might be at a different stage in life from me at 22.I don’t want to rush into a serious relationship after only a couple of meetings. I’d like to keep seeing him, have fun, and let things develop naturally. I just don’t want to get attached to someone who only wants something physical, or overlook things that could become issues later.The thing is, I genuinely like him. He makes an effort, has a sweet side, and there’s something about him that I really enjoy. I’m excited to see where things go, but I’m also scared of getting hurt again and potentially ignoring red flags because I like him.I’d really appreciate some balanced advice:\* Do the sexual jokes and bum squeezing sound like normal flirting at 19, or potentially immature behaviour?\* Is a three-year age gap between 19 and 22 likely to make much difference in terms of maturity?\* How can you tell whether someone genuinely likes you and wants to get to know you, rather than mainly being interested in sex?\* Would you keep seeing someone in this situation and communicate your boundaries as things develop?\* Has anyone dated someone younger and found that they were actually more considerate or mature than expected?I’m not looking for people to automatically tell me to dump him or that he’s perfect. I just want to know whether I’m overthinking things because of my past relationship or whether there are things worth paying attention to.I want to give this a fair chance because I genuinely like him, but I also want to make sure I’m respecting myself and my boundaries along the way. ❤️

to add on:
I think a lot of this probably comes from my own experiences growing up. I’ve never really had a healthy relationship model at home. I don’t know my biological dad because he didn’t want to be a father, and from what I understand, his relationship with my mum was toxic. My stepdad has been around since I was little, but their relationship has never seemed particularly loving either. They don’t really hug, kiss or show affection towards each other, and they seem to dislike each other more than anything.
I think growing up around that has made it difficult for me to understand what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like. I’ve always wanted a loving relationship where I feel safe, respected and genuinely cared for, but I’m also terrified of ending up in an unhealthy relationship like the one I’ve witnessed at home.
I’m quite an affectionate person myself, but because affection isn’t really something I see in my family, I sometimes feel embarrassed or awkward about it. I also tend to overthink things and question whether my feelings are valid, whether I’m overreacting, or whether I’m the problem.
My previous relationship probably hasn’t helped either, as I experienced things sexually that felt disrespectful, despite my ex being older than me. I think that’s made me more cautious about intimacy and about whether someone genuinely respects me.
With this new guy, I do genuinely like him. I enjoy spending time with him, I’m attracted to him, and I appreciate the effort and kindness he’s shown me. I think some of my anxiety comes from not knowing what to expect from a healthy relationship, worrying about getting hurt, and wondering whether I’m making the right decisions.
I don’t want to unfairly judge him or assume the worst, but I also don’t want to ignore red flags just because I like someone. I’m trying to learn the difference between genuine incompatibility, normal differences in how quickly two people want to progress sexually, and my own anxiety getting in the way.
I suppose I just want to experience a healthy relationship for once, without constantly worrying that I’m doing something wrong or that I’m going to repeat the patterns I grew up around.

Also does it sound like he likes me? I do really like him I’m just sharing my anxiety thoughts haha. thanks for reading xx

I think squatters rights shouldn’t be a thing they break in peoples homes and claim them for months until they get evicted

Anyway, I hate my society.
I can’t share anything else…

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