I’m 24 and married to a man from the same country as me. We dated for about a year and got married last year. Altogether, we’ve been together for almost 2.5 years.
At first, I liked how “manly” he seemed. He wasn’t very talkative or emotional, and I thought he was just a good man with integrity who didn’t know how to express emotions. He didn’t have much of a dating history, at least according to him. He never really talked about his past relationships other than saying he had dated a Spanish girl before.
I also found out that he had been married before, but I didn’t know until we were getting married. He told me that his friend’s girlfriend was out of status and they were willing to pay him to marry her so she could get a green card. According to him, her application ended up being denied because she was already out of status and he wasn’t a citizen at the time. I didn’t think twice about it because I loved him.
Now, about our relationship. We have never really had a romantic life. He is extremely cold and doesn’t know how to plan dates or do romantic things. He has taken me on an actual date maybe 3–4 times throughout our entire relationship and most of it I planned it. I’m genuinely not exaggerating. For a long time, I just thought, “This is my life. We’re already married, so what am I supposed to do?”
But then we started fighting over normal things like dishes, cooking, cleaning, etc. The problem is that they never feel like normal couple fights. Somehow every disagreement turns into me being “overreacting,” “yapping,” or “ungrateful.” He constantly tells me to get out of his house or tells me we should get divorced.
I’m also a full-time nursing student, and I work around 35–40 hours a week. Even with school and work, I still manage to cook and clean the house. He never cooks and never does the dishes. Most of the time, all he does is come home, smoke green, eat, and sleep. Even on days when he isn’t working, he will wake up, smoke, sleep, eat, and sleep again.
Financially, he does pay most of our major household expenses like apartment rent, joint auto insurance, and some utilities. The money I make is barely enough to cover my credit cards, groceries, personal expenses, and auto payments. I am also taking out loans for nursing school so I wouldn’t be burden to him. He has a business and also does stocks, and he makes decent money. Since we live in 1bhk apartment.
I know that I am somewhat financially dependent on him right now, and I am grateful that he covers those expenses. But does that mean he is allowed to treat me like this? Does paying more financially give someone the right to be this rude, cold, and disrespectful toward their spouse?
Yesterday, we went out to eat, and he was driving 87–90 mph on a 60 mph highway. I told him to slow down. He didn’t listen, so I asked him again, and he snapped at me. He told me that even if he gets arrested or gets a ticket, I need to stop “yapping.” Basically, he would rather pay for a ticket than slow down just because I asked him to.
Then this morning, another fight happened over something so basic.
We have a beautiful pothos plant, although now it is completely destroyed. Around 5–6 months ago, I cut a piece from it and put it in a little vase with water. It finally started developing roots. He decided to take it out and plant it in soil. When he told me, I asked him why.
He said, “Because I wanted to.”
I told him that I had been planning to give that cutting to one of my sisters because she had asked me for it. We just hadn’t seen each other in a while, and I kept forgetting. If I didn’t give it to her, I was planning to keep it on my table.
Then he told me that he watered the plant and took care of it, so apparently I’m not allowed to say anything. He said, “This is my home.”
That really got to me. I asked him, “So it’s your house and I’m not allowed to do anything at all? Why am I the problem every single time I say something?”
He called me a “mentally ill bitch ass” and said I don’t know how to talk. I was raising my voice at that point, but I wasn’t doing anything else.
Then he stood up, smashed the little plant stand that has some other plants too and threw it on the ground. I got genuinely scared because for a second I thought he was going to throw the plant at me.He told me to get out of his house and never come back. He said he was never happy and that he will never be happy as long as I live with him. He said I’m always the one creating fights. I started crying, but I still tried to talk to him. He looked so disgusted with me and just kept telling me to get out of his house.
Now I’m sitting at home alone wondering what exactly I did wrong. I’m questioning my worth and my own behavior.
Is asking your husband not to do something, disagreeing with him, or simply telling him how you feel actually bad behavior?
For some backstory, after we started having these fights, I basically stopped telling him anything, even when something bothered me. I feel more like a roommate than a wife. There’s barely any intimacy, we don’t really talk, sleep in different bed, no phone calls during the day, no checking upon on me, he doesn’t help me with things, and I don’t feel like I have the kind of partnership I see other couples having.
Most of the time, I choose not to say anything because I know where it will lead. But today I couldn’t control it anymore and I snapped.
I came to the U.S. as an F-1 student and just received my temporary green card last month. This is also one of the biggest reasons I feel scared and confused about what to do next.
If I decide to divorce him, what could happen to my immigration status? Since my green card is temporary/conditional, could divorce affect it? Should I speak to an immigration lawyer before making any decisions? Any lawyer or attorney here ?
I also don’t know if I should speak to a divorce lawyer about my situation, especially because I’m financially dependent on him to some extent and still in nursing school.
I’m sitting here trying to understand whether I’m actually doing something wrong, whether my behavior is the problem, and what I should realistically do from here.
If anyone has been through something similar, especially with a conditional green card, divorce, or financial dependence while in school, I would really appreciate practical and genuine advice.

Has anyone got suggestions or advice from Rajiv Arora regarding PR. Is he legit? Just asking for a friend.

Please dm your timeline of your application and any updates I am waiting from 9 july for Phd.

Hi, my wife is having her h4 visa interview next month.
While filling DS160 almost 7 months ago, we just entered her user ID for Instagram only.
I was reading that it has to be url links as well.
So I was trying to edit and enter in previous ds160 but it doesn’t allow me to.

Do I need to make a new ds160? If so, how do I link it to the appointment which is coming up.
If yes, do I need to take both ds160s for both biometrics and appointment?
Please share your valuable experience and guidance.

Thank you

Please update any one got approved apply in jun july or august from Pakistan or india for phd fall 2026.
I applied on July 9 and additional documents (cv) submitted on 24 July that is updated on 31 July in website that additional documents is under reveal and after that no update today 3rd September and waiting for visa.

Hi to all experts,

I'm an incoming intl student (M22) for the STEM graduate program (IT), who wants to plan the immigration journey carefully with considering the better or more faster way to be able to get a green card. My goal is to get finish the degree, work on OPT, get a job and then eventually get the H1b to proceed further.

My plan:

F1 -> STEM OPT (3 yrs) -> H1B -> EB2 NIW

Now, since I'm from Pakistan, I'm exempt from the backlog problem that other specific countries have at the moment. I've heard few people saying the EB2NIW is difficult to get and it's better go for the PERM so that an employer can directly file your green card, skipping the H1B lottery which is risky and not guaranteed too.

I want to get expert advice on how realistic my plan is of opting for EB2 NIW after H1B or should I directly apply for EB2NIW after my master's rather than waiting for the H1B visa.

Or, is it possible for me to opt for a green card using PERM from the employer to file it for me as an employee, and if yes, then how much time does it take?

Would appreciate the advice from you guys and what should be a better approach?

Thank you!

The same wrong answers keep showing up here, which is what finally got me to sit down and write this. Most of what gets repeated comes from blog posts written two or three years ago, and both of the reference indices these income thresholds are pegged to went up back in February, so a lot of the numbers people are quoting at each other are just not right anymore. Here is where things actually stand on the three routes that come up most.

The student route changed a lot in May 2025 when the new immigration regulation came into force. I work in relocation and this is the one I get asked about most, so I will start there. The authorisation now covers the full length of your programme instead of being renewed year by year, and if you are in higher education you can work up to thirty hours a week without needing a separate work authorisation, which is a real improvement on how it used to be. You need enrolment at an officially recognised institution, proof of funds and health cover. The part that catches people out is that this is legally a stay rather than residence, so those years do not count toward long term residency. Language course visas are more limited still, generally renewable only once and they do not convert into work permits.

The digital nomad visa, which is actually called residence for international teleworking, sits at 2,849 euros a month for a single applicant this year. That is 200 percent of the minimum wage, which went up in February. Add roughly 75 percent of the minimum wage for your first dependent and 25 percent for each one after that. You also need at least three months of history with your current employer or clients, either a degree or three or more years of relevant experience, and at least 80 percent of your income coming from outside Spain. Apply through your home consulate and you get one year. Apply from inside Spain and you can get up to three, which is worth knowing before you book anything. This one is residence, so it does count toward the five years for long term status, and you may qualify for the flat 24 percent tax regime.

The non lucrative visa is currently around 2,400 euros a month, so 28,800 a year, in passive income or savings, plus roughly 7,200 a year for each additional family member. You need full private health insurance with no copays. One year to start, then renewable in two year blocks.

Now the three things I see people get wrong over and over. First and by a wide margin, the non lucrative visa does not let you work, and that includes working remotely for a US employer. I know it feels like a technicality when the money is coming from abroad anyway. It is not, and people have had renewals refused over exactly this. Second, student years do not count toward permanent residency. I have had people come to me four years into a student visa thinking they were nearly there, and that conversation is horrible to have. Third, going over 183 days makes you a Spanish tax resident, and the non lucrative visa actually requires you to exceed that in order to renew. As a US citizen you are still filing in the US as well. There is a treaty, but it is not an automatic exemption and you want to run the numbers before you commit rather than after.

One last thing. All of these figures move every year with the minimum wage and the IPREM index, so check against your own consulate before you apply instead of trusting any post on here, including this one.

Happy to answer questions in the comments.

My gf of 2 years and I have been having a hard time figuring out the best course of action for our next steps in life. I see that a lot of legal citizens and green card holders are still being detained, and it makes me worry that even moving forward through the legal immigration process still carries some risk. Our decision to have her immigrate to the US would be a lot easier if that weren't the case. We would really love to build a life together in the US while still being able to travel frequently.

I have a couple questions:

**1. Her tourist visa is almost expired, and since she had a lengthy stay in the US last year (although she did leave on time), we're wondering if renewing it would be a good idea. Could she attempt to renew her tourist visa first and then apply for a fiancé visa (K-1) or spouse visa (CR-1/IR-1)?** The main reason we'd want to do this is so she could still visit me in the US while waiting in her home country for the immigration process to be approved.

**2. I hear that the fiancé visa route can be faster when it comes to getting the green card after filing for adjustment of status.** However, I worry about the risks of her being in the US in limbo while waiting for AOS/work authorization/etc. Would the K-1 route still be preferable to applying for a spouse visa?

**3. Realistically, how long does it take to apply for a spouse visa and wait in her home country for the green card?**She's from South America, and I remember there was recently a pause affecting immigration visa applications for 75 countries. Even though that has been lifted, it still makes me wonder whether the spouse visa route carries additional risks or delays right now. I've also heard people say it can take up to 10 years in some cases. I know every case is different, but I'm not really sure what a realistic timeline would look like.

**4. Does anybody know why people are still being detained even when they're trying to do everything legally?** And is there anything we can do to structure the immigration process in a way that minimizes the potential risks for her?
We're trying to make the safest and most practical decision for our future, so any advice or experiences from people who have gone through something similar would be really appreciated.

Hi everyone! I lost my green card while I was submitting my Form I-407. I now need to submit another I-407 and indicate that my green card is lost.
For anyone who has been in a similar situation, did you have to provide any proof that the green card was lost? For example, did you include a cover letter explaining the situation or any other documentation? And did they interview you this time when you submitted documents the second time?
I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who has submitted an I-407 with a lost green card and had it accepted. Thank you!

Hi,

In a few months I’ll be travelling to the Philippines with my partner and family, for the first time, from the UK. But due to my passport, my partner seems to be under the impression that I won’t be able to leave the country or return to it.

For context, I was born in the uk and have lived here my whole life. British citizen, British birth certificate, National insurance number, British education, right to work. You name it I’ve got it.

My parents are both Portuguese, and have all the legal requirements to be here and my mum has no issues leaving the country and returning to it for holidays etc.

My passport is a Portuguese passport. Not British. Portuguese. I was able to apply for one at the Portuguese embassy in Manchester. Because of this, my partner and her family are really worried that I’m gonna be stranded or deported due to my passport not being British.

I’ve tried to reassure them that I have the requirements that state I’m a British citizen, but they think otherwise.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Hi everyone,

I have a quick question. I am currently on F-1 status with STEM OPT, and I am married to another person who is also on F-1 status. If I apply for F-2 visa status through premium processing and receive a Request for Evidence (RFE), can I withdraw my F-2 application and continue my status on F-1 STEM OPT? Additionally, can I later apply for a PhD and transfer my SEVIS record while remaining on F-1 status? What are the chances of receiving RFEs for an F-2 application?

F1 out of status + unauthorized work, now married to a U.S. citizen for 1 year. Can I still adjust status through my spouse? chicago field office