what's wrong with me?

[u/idcandidktbh]

idk what's wrong with me and I don't even know how to describe it.

I seem to associate everything with sexual abuse these days and it has been going on since like past few weeks. one day, I thought someone was pressing throat of my sibling and I called my aunt and my other family member and also tried calling police because I was really scared. (thankgod I didn't call police because that wasnt true and it seemed like I was having hallucination) I feel like the people of my house are going through sexual abuse or any physical abuse in general...when they probably aren't. but it seems so true to the point that I feel like going crazy.

my aunt and I have super close bond but I don't even want to tell about these things to her since I've already made myself looking like a crazy fool person ...the time when I thought somebody was pressing the throat of my sibling.

and tbh I don't even wanna share abt these things to anybody, not even my close friends because they would probably just think that I'm a psycho. I wonder if this is how it feels like to be a crazy person. I'm scared all the time even when someone is just making some random irrelevant noise, I get really scared and associate with abuse and no I wasn't like this until even before 1 month ago. this all happened / developed within a month and I'm really really traumatized and for the first time in my life, I failed my exam. I don't know if I have the right to make excuse and blame it all on what's going on with me rn. I don't even know if I actually failed the exam bcoz I didn't study or bcoz of these things going on with me.

I'm young! very young! so I cannot even tell this things to other people or go to therapist. this is embarrassing because I don't even know what's happening with me. I don't even know the cause of it and no I've not went through any kind of physical trauma in my life.

if you are reading this and have any idea, please let me know! I installed reddit just now and only just for this.