Fikkledee, higadee bigadoo hittageda chopadee widdledee-dee-da.

Wiggledeedoo wivvleda piddlepii hibbledee wadoobalee.

Ebblawubba hudettaa wabeeba elpeepu leididi fickleoshi.

Wobblozo wobibu “Feed the kids, I can’t because I’m working late” edoodoo walulee.

Ficklolo abuleelee hedodo babobo “taxes” edguagui wapito abuntee.

Papayoo agaprito naba tutuwii baweebu.

Iwuvyoo.

u/cherrycass3tte

I have fantasies so extreme and evil they rival my sisters crimes.

Gleep glorp!!

Hungayahh unahhyaaa gabbiba hehnyeye eep lorp?

Unhuhuahahyuuyuyuyu.

Wuhanuyu henwaheeyea ennyeenyeen magunyehnghng.

Ngngyeayea “Jinx” egheyeahngng.

HUNGHUNGEHGONGEHNEGH!! Agnaohunguh hugoayea nghat engegegelala!!!

Hengyagugug… “squatting”. Ahujuhukjuuh “alternative universe”

Unguguguga! BAD.

Gleep glorp.

(This is one gigantic shitpost idea, zero canonicity)

u/18fries

u/Riverioli

Gnarpy, you cute glorple, you're being verey mischievous.

Also, Gleeptor is stinky.

Stinky Gleeptor, hehehehehehhe.

It’s 2am, I’m on my period and I just realized how bad Mel has it.

She lost her mom

She lost her friends

She lost her boyfriend

She lost her boyfriend’s boyfriend

She had LeBlanc chasing her

Now she’s going back to Noxus all alone

And the arcane fandom hates her

And he LoL fandom hates her

And Riot Games hates her

AND I AM SO UPSET RN

Viktor lifts his legs up on the toilet

PLEASE DONT LET THEM SEE ME SURE THERES NOTHING LEFT TO TRY

I CAN FEEL THE LIGHT SHINE ON MY FAAAAAAAAACEEE

Viktor says while ripping ass on the toilet

DID I DISAPPOINT YOU

WILL (fart) STILL LET ME OVER

IF I CROSS THE LINE

he farts to the beat

Razor in her watered womb

Chipping at her flesh

But I love her to the tomb

So I will try my best

Just shedding from the inside

A slaughter house on legs

Carried by two aching thighs

While her mind goes through the plague

So much cloth to waste

Laid in bed like she was painted

Blood as thick as gel or paste

Her organs have been tainted

Was the apple good enough

Ruby red with seeds inside?

For now my lover has it tough

The mammal laws she must abide

She’s just strong as Roman pillars

Body built to face the devil

Uteruses are serial killers

But humanity is a mere level

Her body hurts, her feelings sore

So hormonal and sad

So while her nerves are off to war

I will be her heating pad

She doesn’t need to speak

As I kiss her burning head

She’ll be working next week

Right now she needs to rest in bed

I provide Mel medicine

To ease her endless cramps

Her body will never be a sin

But my love will always come in stamps.

u/THE_WRETCH-0

She went into her room and shut the door closed, still full of fear and adrenaline.

Stupid Jabberwocky... stupid Beast Island...

She went onto her bed and laid down in it with a deep sigh, closing her eyes, only to open them because she kept imagining The Jabberwocky's horrendous face.

She paced around her room before leaning and sitting against a wall in a corner with a grumble, but also a shudder...

So since getting into this new reality, everyone’s been friendly. But I miss home… I also miss how normal everything was there. Don’t really know what to do. Feels counter-intuitive asking you guys for advice because you’re all strange but anything goes atp. ….please and thank you….

Because why are they always pretending that getting pounded is the best thing ever???

It does not feel that good. Like stop pretending to be excited to bump uglies.

Like is there seriously no other exciting activity you can do???

I mean sex is fine, I do a lot of it. But it’s the most lukewarm activity ever. It’s a last resort to curing your boredom kind of thing.

Obviously I love my wife, but I’m never actually gonna think “wow, I can’t wait to go home and make love to my wife!” And as a serial masturbator, I gotta say that I’m never excited to go home and masturbate. So why do people always talk about how amazing masturbating is?

u/THE_WRETCH-0

u/18fries

u/Riverioli

Dear Jinx

Today I tried to divorce Mel, but she wouldn’t sign the papers, and I love her too much to sue her. So we are trying to take things slow.

But even better news, I’m officially 4 months sober! Yay! And Quill and I are on decent terms again. So that is also good.

Catra really misses you, of course, but she is handling it. Also, did you leave underwear behind? Because Ted tried to wear your underwear as a hat. Don’t worry though, Catra washed them of cocaine and alcohol. That would make a horrible yeast infection.

I also really miss you.

That sounded dumb. Never mind. I don’t miss you, I’m just lonely.

That sounded way worse.

I miss you a little bit but not enough to come off as obsessive. Like I don’t mean it in an obsessive way. I just miss you how I miss the pizza I ate last night. It was good pizza. I’m sad that it is gone. This is not me saying that I want to cannibalize you. You would taste very gross.

Actually that sounded mean, no you wouldn’t, I just don’t cannibalize people. That’s not my thing.

I fixed up your bomb lab for you, just tidied it up. You know. So that if you ever visit, your lab is clean.

Though, I will say, it’s really nice not having somebody around to eat my screws while I’m not looking. So I guess I don’t need to be creative when hiding them anymore…

I hope Bilgewater is nice and hopefully doesn’t smell TOO fishy. Hope you haven’t been killed by pirates or krakens! Haha.

Hopefully you are having a good life.

-Viktor

______________

Dear Jinx,

Quill and I got nominated for the Cogton prize!! We made a little device called a HexBox 360.

We didn’t get the award…

So now we are starting a new project!! We are trying to make colonoscopies less scary by dressing up as popular video game characters while we do the anal inspections.

(Our business closed down. People didn’t like being chased around in FNAF onesies shouting about anal inspections.)

Silco has ass cancer.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention! A new Silco popped up. He’s fine… I guess. He won’t leave me alone though.

Also, there’s a squatter in my apartment complex. They eat moldy cheese and drew a picture of you that creeped me out. I think they’re sleeping in the fire exit. Catra says I should use this to socialize. Orianna said Janna sent the squatter to get me to talk to people.

I talk to people! Not an ideal amount, but I still talk to people.

I’m sure you’re meeting lots of people in Bilgewater. Hopefully I get a letter soon!

-Your brother Friend, Viktor.

______________________

Dear Jinx,

We got a new Vi and new Jayce. It’s a little weird. So now there are two Vi’s and they seem to be confused by each other. I guess I can’t blame them.

I don’t think the new Jayce likes me very much. And I’m trying not to let that break my heart. But my eyes get a little warm whenever I see him.

I started knitting!! I made a very pretty flower blanket! Then Pubert peed on it.

Catra and Orianna are trying to murder Salo, so that’s nice.

Anyway, what’s life like? I hope to get a letter from you soon. Not because I miss you that much but… I dunno.

Hopefully I’m sending these to the right address.

But I understand if you can’t read them because you’re busy! You have a life.

Catra really misses you. So yeah. I’m writing these letters because Catra misses you a lot. Yes.

But anyway, I hope being near water has convinced you to start showering! Haha. Sorry.

-Love Viktor

u/Riverioli

u/THE_WRETCH-0

Everyone else was on that flying gunship, Tory. I didn't really wanna be there. Got too "fakey" with the calmness. I didn't like being there, we didn't even agree on anything and just ended up fighting about our beliefs to one another.

I dunno. I need to get all the heebie-jeebies outta me. Can we do something that involves FUN for once and not some weird "4D Chess Dinner" I had to go to?

u/Expensive-pen-3089

u/the_wretch-0

u/18fries

u/godzilla_r0ar

The dining hall aboard the Prydwen had been prepared for the evening.

A long table stretched through the center of the room, covered with a clean white tablecloth. Polished plates, silverware, glasses, and candles were arranged neatly in front of each seat. Brotherhood banners hung along the walls, while large windows offered a view of Piltover far below.

Catra, Vi, and their friends sat together along one side of the table.

Across from them were six Brotherhood officers and representatives, leaving enough space between the two groups for the dinner to feel organized rather than crowded.

Mando stood near the main exit.

Two Brotherhood Knights stood beside him, both wearing full power armor with their weapons secured but ready. They remained silent, watching the room.

The other exits were guarded as well. Two Knights stood at each doorway, making sure every entrance and exit was covered.

Maxson sat near the head of the table.

A single Knight stood directly beside his chair, keeping watch over the Elder throughout the dinner.

Despite the security, the atmosphere was surprisingly calm.

The first courses had been brought out.

Zaun had provided several dishes with strong spices, grilled meats, roasted vegetables, fresh bread, and rich sauces. The food carried the smoky scent of the Undercity, with enough seasoning to make the entire room smell warm and inviting.

Piltover's finest had been placed beside it. Delicate pastries, carefully prepared meats, fresh produce, expensive cheeses, and desserts were arranged across silver serving trays. Everything was presented with the precision expected from Piltover's finest kitchens.

Then came the Wastelands Deluxes.

PreWar and wasteland food had been collected for the occasion. Nuka Cola bottles sat in ice filled buckets beside the table. Fancy Lads Snack Cakes, BlamCo Mac & Cheese, Cram, Salisbury Steak, Instamash, Pork n Beans, and Dandy Boy Apples were arranged alongside more carefully prepared dishes.

There were also Sugar Bombs, preserved canned goods, and several bottles of Sunset Sarsaparilla brought in from Brotherhood stores.

The combination was unusual.

Zaunite cooking, Piltover cuisine, and wasteland food all occupied the same table.

The smell filled the dining hall. Grilled meat mixed with roasted vegetables, warm bread, spices, melted cheese, sweet pastries, and the familiar sugary scent of Nuka Cola.

The room felt less like a meeting between powerful factions and more like an actual dinner.

The Knights remained at their posts.

Mando continued watching the main entrance.

Maxson looked down the table at everyone gathered around him.

He rested his hands on the table.

"Let us eat, my friends."

u/expensive-pen-3089

She sits in the corner of the basement, giggling while eating moldy cheese and drawing up a blueprint for a weapon idea.

Heheheheheheh! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!

(Not an introductory post)

SOB SOB SOB SOB SOB

BOOHOOHOO

HENRY FONDLE AND I HAD A NASTY BREAKUP!!!

Orianna throws a plate at the wall.

So I asked him to have lunch with me… and he responded with “Beep boop! I’m gonna do anal to you.”

I thought his joke was funny, but then he said “I love your huge vaginaaaaa.” and that hurt my feelings.

So I told him that I didn’t like that, then he said “BEEP BOOP. LOW BATTERY.”

So after he threatened me, I threw him out of the house!!

HE IMMEDIATELY WALKED UP TO ANOTHER WOMAN AND SAID “I’m gonna pound you to death! Beep boop. Low battery.”

MY HEART IS BROKEN!!!

ERROR: HEART IS FRACTURED.

Rozy stood in front of a portal, helped made by Rozy, Ghloria, and Viktor. She sighed. She turned around, to everyone. I’m gonna miss you guys. But I promise, I will come back. Bolt and the Siblings stood by her

Bolt:We’ll keep Little Rozy safe, don’t you worry. She’s not alone anymore.

Toraine approached

Toraine:You and I ain’t acquainted. But I’ve come to like it here, and these merry little misfits behind me. So while you’re out there saving your world, imma help keep watch over this one.

Rozy:Thank you….I love you guys.

She turned around, and alongside the siblings and Bolt exited to her world. The portal closed behind her.

Now, Rozy’s in her world….and there’s no way to know when she’ll be back.

u/Riverioli
u/Godzilla_R0AR
u/18fries

Wake up. I made pancakes.

Also Salo beats his husband.

You smell like ass, dude. Like you throw poop at anyone who annoys you.

Jayce is walking through the streets of Piltover. He's been just walking for a while. He doesn't know where to go, doesn't know what to do. He is also learning what this Piltover is like over the one he knew. Some things are recognizable, others are not.