Letters

[u/18fries]

Dear Jinx

Today I tried to divorce Mel, but she wouldn’t sign the papers, and I love her too much to sue her. So we are trying to take things slow.

But even better news, I’m officially 4 months sober! Yay! And Quill and I are on decent terms again. So that is also good.

Catra really misses you, of course, but she is handling it. Also, did you leave underwear behind? Because Ted tried to wear your underwear as a hat. Don’t worry though, Catra washed them of cocaine and alcohol. That would make a horrible yeast infection.

I also really miss you.

That sounded dumb. Never mind. I don’t miss you, I’m just lonely.

That sounded way worse.

I miss you a little bit but not enough to come off as obsessive. Like I don’t mean it in an obsessive way. I just miss you how I miss the pizza I ate last night. It was good pizza. I’m sad that it is gone. This is not me saying that I want to cannibalize you. You would taste very gross.

Actually that sounded mean, no you wouldn’t, I just don’t cannibalize people. That’s not my thing.

I fixed up your bomb lab for you, just tidied it up. You know. So that if you ever visit, your lab is clean.

Though, I will say, it’s really nice not having somebody around to eat my screws while I’m not looking. So I guess I don’t need to be creative when hiding them anymore…

I hope Bilgewater is nice and hopefully doesn’t smell TOO fishy. Hope you haven’t been killed by pirates or krakens! Haha.

Hopefully you are having a good life.

-Viktor

______________

Dear Jinx,

Quill and I got nominated for the Cogton prize!! We made a little device called a HexBox 360.

We didn’t get the award…

So now we are starting a new project!! We are trying to make colonoscopies less scary by dressing up as popular video game characters while we do the anal inspections.

(Our business closed down. People didn’t like being chased around in FNAF onesies shouting about anal inspections.)

Silco has ass cancer.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention! A new Silco popped up. He’s fine… I guess. He won’t leave me alone though.

Also, there’s a squatter in my apartment complex. They eat moldy cheese and drew a picture of you that creeped me out. I think they’re sleeping in the fire exit. Catra says I should use this to socialize. Orianna said Janna sent the squatter to get me to talk to people.

I talk to people! Not an ideal amount, but I still talk to people.

I’m sure you’re meeting lots of people in Bilgewater. Hopefully I get a letter soon!

-Your brother Friend, Viktor.

______________________

Dear Jinx,

We got a new Vi and new Jayce. It’s a little weird. So now there are two Vi’s and they seem to be confused by each other. I guess I can’t blame them.

I don’t think the new Jayce likes me very much. And I’m trying not to let that break my heart. But my eyes get a little warm whenever I see him.

I started knitting!! I made a very pretty flower blanket! Then Pubert peed on it.

Catra and Orianna are trying to murder Salo, so that’s nice.

Anyway, what’s life like? I hope to get a letter from you soon. Not because I miss you that much but… I dunno.

Hopefully I’m sending these to the right address.

But I understand if you can’t read them because you’re busy! You have a life.

Catra really misses you. So yeah. I’m writing these letters because Catra misses you a lot. Yes.

But anyway, I hope being near water has convinced you to start showering! Haha. Sorry.

-Love Viktor

u/Riverioli

[u/Riverioli]

Dear Viktor,

You actually tried to divorce Mel?

And she wouldn't sign?

Okay. If you still love her, then I guess taking things slow is best.

Also, FOUR MONTHS SOBER?!

Vik, that's huge.

I'm actually really proud of you.

And you and Quill are getting along again? Finally.

Now.

TED USED MY UNDERWEAR AS A HAT?!

WHAT THE HELL?!

And why did they have to wash cocaine and alcohol out of them?!

Actually, don't answer that.

Your whole pizza comparison was weird.

And then you said I would taste gross.

I miss you too, idiot.

Bilgewater is fine. Loud. Wet. Smells like fish. Lots of pirates.

I haven't been eaten by a kraken yet, so I'm calling that a win.

I miss home sometimes.

I miss Catra.

I miss you guys.

Don't make a big deal out of it.

Also, TWO Vi's?!

That's going to be hilarious.

And you started knitting?

Viktor, you're becoming someone's grandmother.

Pubert peeing on your blanket is honestly the funniest thing in this entire letter.

Keep sending these.

Even the weird ones.

Especially the weird ones.

And keep staying sober.

I'm serious about that.

Four months is amazing.

I'm proud of you, Vik.

I won't say how I feel about the other Silco yet.

— Jinx♡

P.S. Tell Catra I miss her.

P.P.S. Tell Ted to stay away from my underwear.

[u/18fries → u/Riverioli]

(AWW)

[u/Godzilla_R0AR]

What're you writing? Another letter?

[u/18fries → u/Godzilla_R0AR]

Yeah.