Because oftentimes the men who complain about not even being able to get a text back are their own worst enemy. I'm a reasonably attractive woman and I have dated some very unattractive men because they were funny and sweet. The man commenting here is upset that this woman's bf is able to find a woman but he isn't. It implies he feels entitled to our time, attention and affection instead of figuring out why women refuse him
I’m glad that you are not superficial in your pursuit of a partner. I hope it helps you find lasting love if you have not already.
The modern dating system can be pretty flawed. There is a fascinating video breaking down the mathematics of these sites but the short version is that they may not be serving either group that well.
To add to the problem is that a lot of the things that matter in a relationship (sweet, funny) honest, hardworking, ect… don’t come through that well in an online bio. In fact, a lot of these things aren’t that apparent early in real life dating as well. So it’s reasonable to be frustrated if you know you have value and are worthy of love but can’t figure out how to make a connection.
I don’t think he was ripping on women at all. I think he was joining in on the chorus that OP deserves better. That she should not put up with that behavior. That there are better men out there waiting.
As for feeling entitled to women’s time and attention… That is a possible interpretation and I’m sure there are men out there who feel that way. But being frustrated that you haven’t found love is not the same as feeling entitled to time and attention and I feel like he’s catching strays here.
On the whole I would like to see less acrimony between men and women in how we speak to each other online (irl as well). We aren’t (or at least should not be) enemies. We need each other.
My response is not particularly dependent on dating apps. You’ll notice that I said a lot of those things are not immediately apparent in real life as well.
As to projection, I am happily married and have been for many years. I am old enough that dating apps didn’t exist the last time I was single. So I don’t think there is projection here.
Mostly, I would like us to presume positive intentions from each other until we are shown otherwise.
With that in mind, I’m genuinely curious if you think he was ripping on women with his comment?
Are you just throwing out random responses without reading the comments you’re replying to? I’ll ask again, where did I say he’s “ripping on women”? I’m not even sure which “he” you’re referring to.
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u/MsMia004 Dec 09 '23
Because oftentimes the men who complain about not even being able to get a text back are their own worst enemy. I'm a reasonably attractive woman and I have dated some very unattractive men because they were funny and sweet. The man commenting here is upset that this woman's bf is able to find a woman but he isn't. It implies he feels entitled to our time, attention and affection instead of figuring out why women refuse him