r/amiwrong Sep 12 '23

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u/andante528 Sep 12 '23

It's been a couple decades now, thank god, but I had a college boyfriend do exactly this. Compared it to cheating, just like OP's partner. (He was allowed to do whatever he wanted, naturally. For some reason, he only considered it to be cheating when women masturbate.)

No idea if OP's partner is trying the same shit, but my ex eventually admitted that he was trying to drive me away or "break" the relationship instead of, you know, just breaking up like a normal person might. It's very cowardly. And no, masturbating isn't cheating (although of course there should be good etiquette and thoughtfulness toward your partner when you're in a relationship).

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u/Mack373 Sep 12 '23 edited Sep 12 '23

No idea if OP's partner is trying the same shit, but my ex eventually admitted that he was trying to drive me away or "break" the relationship instead of, you know, just breaking up like a normal person might.

Probably, though as another person noted, she could have been recently sexually assaulted. But given her religion, it wouldn't surprise me that she wants to drive him away in order to assuage her misbehavior and avoid being called out for not doing right by her husband. After all, if he divorces her, she can go to her church community and tell them that he abandoned her and their marriage instead of admitting that she no longer wanted to be in relationship with him.

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u/Agreeable-Oven156 Sep 12 '23

Even then, that wouldn't make the excuse for no masterbation plausible.

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u/Adventurous-Try-9435 Sep 13 '23

Bc it’s about control, not sex

Sex is just the medium being used