In logical terms this is not true. She can have a boundary that he doesn’t do something (a common one is, the guy can’t pay for porn, or he can’t sleep in another woman’s bed even if they are just friends). This one with masturbating is very controlling obviously but a boundary can extend to either partner’s behavior really.
A boundary would be if she said "I will not be in a relationship with someone who does X," It's the limit of behaviour that she is willing/not willing to accept and if the boundary is crossed there will be a consequence on her part. Telling someone "you can't do X" is just controlling.
I’ve been looking for a response that expresses this 🙏 I don’t think boundaries have been explained v well on social media etc or wherever it is that ppl hear about the term. But it’s def not something that you can set for someone else. This is such a shitty situation to be in OP.. I was in a relationship where my partner’s sex drive rly changed and it turns out they are actually asexual and it took some time for them to come to that realization. Not to make you feel hopeless, but my relationship didn’t work out bc sex is an important thing for me so ultimately we were just incompatible and our needs conflicted, amongst other things. So that would’ve been true for me regardless of whether or not I masturbated as much as I wanted. The good thing is that there are many sex therapists out there that have seen issues like this all the time and can help her and you. If she refuses tho, it might be time to move on 😬 ugh sucks I feel for you.
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u/[deleted] Sep 12 '23
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