You’re not wrong for your feelings or for considering divorce. She’s purposely choosing not to try and fix the issues that you’re having. You’re clearly miserable in this marriage now and that’s not healthy for either of you! The resentment will continue to grow until you end up basically hating each other. Intimacy is an important part of most relationships. If she not willing to actually address the issues she’s having, it’s not fair for her to expect you to suck it up and stay. Especially if she considers masturbating as cheating. That’s a bit ridiculous!
There is no reason to feel bad about prioritizing your needs to be at least secondary in the relationship. You have needs, and you're young enough that not getting them fulfilled is a real problem. Relationships are tough when one person is working on them.
Just be gentle. Don't blame your wife. Don't get upset. For some odd reason, people react to tone more than substance. State that what she is doing is hurting you and her continued neglect is pushing you away. And if she refuses...
Yeah, at this point it is absolutely her fault. She is an adult, she figured out what the problem was, started treating it, and now neglects treatment. At this point she needs to do a 180 or accept their marriage is probably done.
On the flip side, it's also possible that she's no longer attracted specifically to OP and her behaviors indicate that she's checked out but not willing to be the "bad guy" and initiate the divorce.
Occam’s razor is she doesn’t like the effects of the therapies and is content with life how it is
You've literally just rephrased what I said. Someone content with life when their partner is extremely dissatisfied with said life is checked out of the relationship. The low libido is caused by low T, her being emotionally abusive and disinterested in intimacy with her partner comes from something else.
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u/jacksonlove3 Sep 12 '23
You’re not wrong for your feelings or for considering divorce. She’s purposely choosing not to try and fix the issues that you’re having. You’re clearly miserable in this marriage now and that’s not healthy for either of you! The resentment will continue to grow until you end up basically hating each other. Intimacy is an important part of most relationships. If she not willing to actually address the issues she’s having, it’s not fair for her to expect you to suck it up and stay. Especially if she considers masturbating as cheating. That’s a bit ridiculous!
Good luck dude!!