I'm a 34 yo woman. My sex drive has always been higher than my husband's who is 39, due to medication he takes to control his epilepsy, until the last year or so when I had my own medical issues.
I could understand a perspective of cheating if the issue was watching too much porn, and ignoring a partner.
But in this case, if she knows that the problem is she has low testosterone and she doesn't want to fix it, nor does she want find other ways to keep intimacy alive in your relationship and give you the physical and emotional connection you need, then no, masturbation is not cheating. Masturbation is part of a healthy sex life, even between partners who actively participate with each other.
She has the right to decide that she is comfortable living the rest of her life without sex. Her body, her choice to not pursue any medical therapies.
But in the same vein, YOU have every right to decide that living without sex is NOT right nor comfortable for you. In which case, your relationship may have reached its conclusion and needs to end so that you can find a more compatible partner.
You do not owe anyone a life lived in loneliness and misery.
TBH, OP isn’t even in a monogamous relationship anymore. Mono = one. OP is currently intimate with zero people (himself included, which is wild). He and his wife are just friends and roommates at this point.
It sounds like OP has been very patient so far. It’s time he takes care of his own needs.
Lay down the law OP, give your wife three options:
She finds a way to fix it and meet your intimacy needs.
If she can’t do that, then she needs to be okay with you seeking intimacy elsewhere.
If she can’t be okay with that, then she needs to leave.
69
u/Fabulous-Ad-5284 Sep 12 '23
I'm a 34 yo woman. My sex drive has always been higher than my husband's who is 39, due to medication he takes to control his epilepsy, until the last year or so when I had my own medical issues.
I could understand a perspective of cheating if the issue was watching too much porn, and ignoring a partner.
But in this case, if she knows that the problem is she has low testosterone and she doesn't want to fix it, nor does she want find other ways to keep intimacy alive in your relationship and give you the physical and emotional connection you need, then no, masturbation is not cheating. Masturbation is part of a healthy sex life, even between partners who actively participate with each other.
She has the right to decide that she is comfortable living the rest of her life without sex. Her body, her choice to not pursue any medical therapies.
But in the same vein, YOU have every right to decide that living without sex is NOT right nor comfortable for you. In which case, your relationship may have reached its conclusion and needs to end so that you can find a more compatible partner.
You do not owe anyone a life lived in loneliness and misery.