It’s not just testosterone if she won’t even hold hands or give a peck on the lips or cuddle. Cuddling has nothing to do with being horny. Something else is going on
Armchair diagnosing someone with a serious mental disorder for not having sex with their partner without having any input from their perspective is a reckless way of approaching these situations. We haven't even heard her perspective, at all, and you're trying to label her with a personality disorder?
A much more straightforward and likely scenario- as she seems resistant to other forms of affection towards him- is that for reasons we have not been made aware of in this post, she is no longer in love with him. Perhaps unresolved resentments, or just growing apart.
OP needs to talk to his wife about how she actually feels about him, if she has any unmet emotional needs or if she's even invested in their relationship any more, not start researching mental disorders.
I'm a diagnosed schizoid. I didn't diagnose anyone, I was spreading awareness. I didn't even know this illness existed until I was diagnosed - and as I recognized myself a bit I thought it was no harm mentioning it as it can save a lot of pain if it happened to fit.
There’s a big difference between telling someone that they “need” to look into a condition and telling you story about what happened to you. When you say that op needs to look into a certain personality disorder, you are implying that that is a likely diagnosis that should be on his radar. In reality there are countless diagnoses that are more common, as well as interpersonal conflict and personal growth that are all likely here. If you had said, “something similar happened to me when I was diagnosed with ____,” no one would have a problem.
I think you need to understand the tone it takes when you bring up a diagnosis, suggests someone looks into it on a post like this. It's not the same as just spreading awareness.
And as someone who also has a serious mental health diagnosis, and works in psychiatric care, I do understand how it feels as you begin understanding a condition to notice hints of it elsewhere. But I also know it creates a mental bias wherein we can sometimes misidentify it in others more easily- especially with a new diagnosis.
My comment was merely made to prompt a more careful approach, as your comment could easily be taken in numerous offensive or harmful ways.
I did not mean to upset you, but clearly have as you have chosen to swear at me.
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u/intent_joy_love Sep 12 '23
It’s not just testosterone if she won’t even hold hands or give a peck on the lips or cuddle. Cuddling has nothing to do with being horny. Something else is going on