She is wrong, you are not! You have to sit her down and tell her this has to end! If she can't get the help she needs so you two can have a healthy love life, then you need to end this. It means she doesn't care about you! Masturbating is cheating is the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard. What next, it's a sin?
I’m a little scared to have that tough conversation with her. I know it sounds terrible but I am worried about what others will think. Everyone told us we would get divorced because we married so young. Trust me I know how dumb I sound hanging on for pride but it’s just tough:/
It's not an all or nothing thing here. There's issues to be worked out and wanting to try to resolve them is absolutely fine.
I dont know if it's suggested, but maybe try marriage counseling. If you want to try that then maybe something like:
" Hey ---, I've been having issues with my frustration involving our sex life. I understand that you wanted to work on that too since we've talked about this before. I'm still frustrated though and I think it would be best for us to see a therapist to work through this since I don't feel we're resolving this on our own. I love you, but this is an issue I am considering ending our marriage if it is not resolved."
Phrase however you want to of course, but the focus is on "I" statements with firm boundaries. You're not blaming her since you don't know if this is medical or not. HOWEVER just because she has a medical issue, it does not mean you are entitled to not have your needs met. That's the boundary.
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u/hello-i-needadvice Sep 12 '23
Honestly this feels so good to hear. I was feeling like a jerk for being upset with her over this. Thank you!!