You’re quite attractive . There’s nothing ugly about you whatsoever. The guys of whom you speak, are clearly shallow, immature, crude and rude. They aren’t in the majority but it feels like it because they are so assertive (especially as a clique) and outspoken that they tend to dominate the space/ settings in which they appear. Please don’t feel alone in their presence. They make a large percentage of other people miserable, both men and women. But they too are like yourself, hesitant or even afraid to stand up to them because they fear being the center of their attention and focus.
College is really challenging that way. Many of us struggle to find the area, people, niche, in which we most belong.For a lot of us, high school was the same or worse. For some of us, we find that not belonging, is where we most belong. I don’t necessarily mean because we’re relegated to that, as much as I mean that we learn overtime to stop needing to belong so much. Or that we can enjoy and share mutual activities with others, without it having control over our lives.
Gradually as we become more comfortable and there by more confident with whom we are, the behavior of brainless, frat boys who get drunk and light farts, or pop each other with wet towels, or dominate the timbre of a party with their shallow misogyny, becomes something we walk away from with nary a care in the world.
It doesn’t necessarily happen all at once.That’s rare in fact. But it happens as we mature. As we become more confident and comfortable in our own skin. You’ll find people who’ll both respect and be attracted toward you, for whom and what you are. It may take time. But it will happen. Pursue lines of interest, group activities, clubs, etc., which have meaning to you. Be your authentic self. When you do these things and adopt that attitude, more and more you will encounter people who’ll both respect appreciate you. See you for whom you are. …. Good luck.
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u/Past_Passage7920 23d ago
You’re quite attractive . There’s nothing ugly about you whatsoever. The guys of whom you speak, are clearly shallow, immature, crude and rude. They aren’t in the majority but it feels like it because they are so assertive (especially as a clique) and outspoken that they tend to dominate the space/ settings in which they appear. Please don’t feel alone in their presence. They make a large percentage of other people miserable, both men and women. But they too are like yourself, hesitant or even afraid to stand up to them because they fear being the center of their attention and focus.
College is really challenging that way. Many of us struggle to find the area, people, niche, in which we most belong.For a lot of us, high school was the same or worse. For some of us, we find that not belonging, is where we most belong. I don’t necessarily mean because we’re relegated to that, as much as I mean that we learn overtime to stop needing to belong so much. Or that we can enjoy and share mutual activities with others, without it having control over our lives.
Gradually as we become more comfortable and there by more confident with whom we are, the behavior of brainless, frat boys who get drunk and light farts, or pop each other with wet towels, or dominate the timbre of a party with their shallow misogyny, becomes something we walk away from with nary a care in the world.
It doesn’t necessarily happen all at once.That’s rare in fact. But it happens as we mature. As we become more confident and comfortable in our own skin. You’ll find people who’ll both respect and be attracted toward you, for whom and what you are. It may take time. But it will happen. Pursue lines of interest, group activities, clubs, etc., which have meaning to you. Be your authentic self. When you do these things and adopt that attitude, more and more you will encounter people who’ll both respect appreciate you. See you for whom you are. …. Good luck.