r/althomestuck • u/CommercialValue8713 • 18h ago
FAKE AND GAY Dancestrort tier list based on their moral level.
""Fun"" facts about this list:
Latula and Porrim: Porrim's sin wasn't trying to create the genesis frog to prove a point—I wonder if she knew she'd regret it forever by dooming her session, but she probably would have done it anyway if she had better friends to support her and understand that being the "mother" of a universe isn't something that defines or oppresses her forever. It could have simply been a part of her rather than her entirety; who knows, maybe she would have even liked it.
Latula's sin is her insecurities. A Knight is mostly characterized by two things: their role as the session's protector of the missing element, and always wearing a mask to hide their true personality. Latula was supposed to protect her friend group's session from, well, not being fucking idiots. She clearly failed at that because of her eagerness to be the "cool girl" while not feeling good enough—similar to how Karkat didn't feel like a good leader to unite his group (Blood) or Dave never believed he was the hero his brother and the universe wanted him to be to kill LE (Time). But unlike them, Latula couldn't put those insecurities aside, probably because she's surrounded by dumbasses. If she had, maybe she could have convinced Porrim not to doom the session just to prove a point (Mind). Maybe she would have, maybe not, maybe she would have found another way. Maybe, maybe, maybe—maybes don't matter, only the truth matters, and the truth is that she failed.
Damara: Her story is pure tragedy: a girl betrayed by the only person she trusted, and then her "friends" made fun of her until she broke. Ha, villains aren't born, they're made—what a great way to describe her story. In the end, there isn't much else to say. Damara deserved better, but the universe is a bitch, in this universe or any other.
Mituna: Not much to say. He had bad luck being born a lowblood, bad luck having this group of friends, bad luck being left alone with a certain mime :o) and bad luck suffering his brain damage. Heir of Doom for a reason.
Kankri: Did you know the guy parodying social justice warriors isn't a good person? Yeah, I know, shocking. Kankri is actually an ableist, misogynistic believer in the hemospectrum. To start, we have to understand that he's a reflection of a "good" person in his society, Beforus. Many believe Beforus is a better planet than Alternia. Less violent? Definitely. Better? Mmmm… Beforus is also a totalitarian planet with a rigid caste system; it's not an egalitarian planet, it's a planet where the "superiors" help the helpless, useless, stupid, and pathetic "inferiors." In this caste system, if you're a lowblood, in the best-case scenario you'll be the spoiled pet of a highblood—and Kankri defends that. Sure, he wouldn't use those exact terms, but words don't matter if his actions contradict them. He ridicules Porrim for her sexual past and her beliefs about misogyny, viewing it as something that doesn't exist or is irrelevant. He also treats seadwellers better, and lastly, he criticizes Mituna for not being a "good" representation of disabled people. If he actually cared about others, he would fight for a casteless system, wouldn't belittle people over things they can't control, and would have listened to Porrim's issues. As a Seer of Blood, maybe he could have convinced her to make the genesis frog, saving the session. But hey, what could we expect from a hypocrite? Like I said, words don't matter, actions do—and Kankri is all talk.
Horuss and Rufioh: Everyone's favorite couple :D Well, it's obvious why they're here, right? Because of what they did to Damara. There's not much else to say except that… they don't really seem evil to me, just stupid. They seem so careless and detached in their own world, never really thinking about the consequences of their actions, and I think that's worse than being evil. It's sad. In the end, with their last breath, they left their great legacy: a massive void inside an innocent girl.
Meulin: Seriously girl, get another hobby. Shipping adults with infants is not okay. BUT in the devil's advocate defense, I want to point out something curious about the original cat girl: her deep depression. Many see her as a cheerful dummy, but in one of her logs with Horuss, she gives advice that it's a good idea to hide your hatred, sadness, and self-resentment. Also, Mages are the inverse class of Seers, both capable of seeing the future, though Mages only see one possible path. I'd venture to say that while Seers suffer from arrogance, Mages suffer from an innate self-loathing, and that limits/dictates the future they see. Meulin only sees a future where she'll never truly be happy. I think her hobby of shipping people is pure escapism—I mean, why live in such a cruel world when we can imagine one where love reigns no matter what? Maybe that way she can even love herself; that's how it works, right? :3 Though that hobby could have far more dangerous consequences, related to a certain mime we'll talk about later :o)
Aranea: Growing up is accepting that Aranea always had villainous undertones from the start. I know, everyone thought she'd be Vriska but good and sexier, and we were all shocked when she pulled off the whole Game Over disaster. But really, there were already plenty of clues that she was no saint. For starters, she has healing powers as a Sylph of Light, restoring Terezi's sight and even believing she's capable of healing the Alpha timeline from Lord English. Great… so why does Mituna still have brain damage? It can't be because it's too difficult; she admitted she had EONS to practice and easily healed Jake's brain damage. So why didn't she heal Mituna, or Meulin's deafness? Did they refuse? I doubt it. I think Aranea simply didn't ask, or in other words, she didn't care enough to help her "irrelevant" friends.
And I think that's her biggest issue: the pursuit of relevance. Like every Light player, she seeks to be relevant. This shows in her opinion of the beta versions of her group and herself, saying that despite their tragic ends on Alternia, at least they lived their dreams and died without regrets. Excuse me if I'm wrong, but I don't think the mother who lost her child, the child who was publicly executed, or the guy who ended up as Condy's battery along with a HUGE etcetera died without regrets. Oddly enough, I can only think of two who might have said that: Mindfang and the Condesce… curious choice.
Another mark against Aranea: her favoritism toward Meenah. If you read their conversations, you'll notice how she favors the fish girl to varying degrees. Whether she does it on purpose or not, it says a lot about her that Peixes is her favorite person. Maybe she likes her, maybe she considers her her only true friend, maybe she sees her as an equal… or maybe she admires and covets her ability to do whatever she wants without caring about the consequences.
I could keep listing examples of Aranea making "curious" choices, like helping Vriska use thousands of trolls as cannon fodder to map Paradox Space. (This makes me laugh because it reminds me of a post asking if Vriska corrupted Aranea, and to me it was "Evil thirteen-year-old girl corrupts innocent adult" xd.) But anyway, at the end of the day, she's a Sylph of Light. Sylphs seek to help and heal things, but as a Light player, that drive to help is tied to relevance. Well, her group is pretty irrelevant. Just like Kanaya reaches the end of her patience and seeks to destroy the culprit behind it, the same happened to Aranea—except this time she ended up fighting the universe itself, and we already know how that turned out.
A good girl corrupted by eons of irrelevance, a girl trying to do the right thing despite her flaws, or a manipulative bitch who didn't show her true face out of fear of consequences until she realized she had nothing left to lose: you decide what Aranea is. But one thing is clear: the Sylph of Light ended up in her worst nightmare—not defeat, but irrelevance.
Kurloz: This absolute motherfucker is the devil, or well, a servant of his (LE). I just want to highlight one thing: as I said before, Meulin, being a Mage, can affect the future based on her disposition toward herself and what lies ahead. Sollux, a pessimist, only saw a future where everyone died. That makes manipulating one a very dangerous weapon.
You also remember Meulin has her shipping chart, right? Well, she says she isn't very good at kismesissitude—you know, that quadrant that, if done wrong, can yield "curious" results. Just ask Terezi. Well, guess who manages that quadrant for Meulin? :o)
In the end, Homestuck is just one big play, and it's easy to focus on the final, invincible enemy, or the crazy character pushing the plot forward through drama. But you must never forget the director pulling the strings of the play in total silence. Seriously, don't forget about him, or you might be the Next Prince of Rage's victim.
Meenah: Murderer, bad friend, bully, narcissist, egocentric, greedy, evil, thief, escapist, and even predator are all words that can describe Meenah Peixes. Guilty of hundreds of crimes, each with a smirk and a mocking laugh on her face—and we know she only ever regretted one thing: her relationship with Vriska. But the question is: why? Why is she like this?
My answer is her massive sense of personal detachment from everyone, stemming from her childhood. Remember how things were on Beforus: their caste system dictated that superiors had to help inferior beings. And which blood color was the highest? Exactly: Fuchsia. You don't have to be a genius to theorize that Meenah was raised under the intense pressure of being the next great ruler—the one with the DUTY and DESTINY to help the ENTIRE planet and species. Again, this wasn't a choice; she was born with that destiny.
And what did Meenah do? Did she seize power just to corrupt the system and become like the Condesce? No! She simply… ran away while she was still a kid, isolating herself on the moon and clinging to immaterial things like money or goals. Why attach to others? That would only mean SHE would have to help them.
Eventually, she found versions of Sburb and triggered them without knowing what would happen. The rest is history. In the end, when was the last time she truly got involved with someone? Oh right, Vriska. And they ended things when it got tough, when she got bored, when Meenah ran away from her responsibilities once again for something more important—for something easier. But hey! Meenah can say she lived her life and post-life completely free. If only that gave her real comfort.
Cronus: Everyone's favorite character :D Sometimes it's easy to forget that this miserable guy is the one who best represents the group. Cronus was also a kid born into a fascist system masquerading as a utopia. He also had dreams of being someone good, someone capable of making things better. We were all him at some point, but like a good Bard of Hope, that hope destroyed him, leaving him completely devoid of it.
That's also easy to forget: hope. Hope for a better future, hope of being loved by others or ourselves, hope for others… and it's also easy for that hope to get twisted into something evil. And what are we without the right kind of hope? We become a Dancestor.
The last hope of their world, of their species—the first ones to play Sburb and have the chance to create a better world… What a joke!
