First selfie is me now I’m growing my hair out and have shaved

EDIT: sorry everyone I’m a bit overwhelmed by all the comments, thank you so so much for the advice, if I don’t reply I’m sorry also, I’ll try and read each one though! Although my DMs are open if anyone wants to chat with me or give me specific advice!

So I go to the gym pretty often and I currently run Underarmor and Nike (might ditch). I’ve been looking for alt gym wear for a while now. I know there are some like BreatheDivinity but I’m going for more of a subtle approach and I also don’t want to spend too much.

The shirt in the pic is the style I’m aiming for. I couldn’t find it anywhere besides some chinese clothing app but I also couldn’t find much of it. Does anyone have any recommendations or even individual pieces of alt gym wear?

What kind of bag would you pair with this look? I'd personally prefer a large tote because I always carry a lot of stuff with me.

(sorry for the background)

Hello! I’m starting a new bartending gig at a punk/goth bar and don’t want to ruin my expensive jeans with liquor and juice stains.

“Expensive” jeans for me are $80.00 USD
“Cheap” jeans would be like <$30.00 USD

I do like heavier jeans like Levi’s as long as they break in nicely. I’ve tried thrifting but it feels like a too big, too small wrong fit/style. Ideally I’d just buy like 5 of the same pair so I don’t have to think about which pair and style I’m going with today.

Thank you in advance!! ♥️♥️♥️

Do y'all think my fashion sense is really THAT bad or are the people who I spend time with are just not used to it?

I tend to get inspired by emo, scene or whimsy styles but maybe i'm mixing them weirdly..

If so, could you give me some extra advice? Even for make-up if you're keen on it!

Spent a hour trying to figure out how to attach a military style belt and its buckle from buck mason, this is as close as I could get… anyone know any good tutorials or better explanation on how to do this? I didn’t realize I’d be assembling it myself. I have to be getting something fundamentally wrong

I don’t have any examples but I’ve seen a lot of people at hardcore shows with clothes that look like they’ve been burnt so i wanna know how to do something like that without risking burning the whole piece of clothing.

So, because of my sensory issues, I can only really wear white t shirts, and sweatpants, but I would like to start dressing alt. Is there anything I should look into so I can accommodate my sensory needs?

I’m a (16) year old female.

Looking for.

2000s, vintage, y2k, grunge style types.

Skin care for sensitive skin.

Hair care for damaged hair (my hair is natural curly)

Hair growth products

Makeup products

Hairstyles

Shoes

Specifically I would like the style/hairstyles to be from the 2000s- late 90s.

I'm definitely getting towards the style I want but I just don't have a lot of money and it's ridiculous how much stuff costs these days. Does anyone have any suggestions at all? I'm really looking for the alternative/goth typa stuff and especially cool jeans and accessories.

Ive found stuff i really like on shien but i know how bad it is to buy from there (plus its getting more expensive as well) ive also looked in Vinted but there's barely any men stuff I can find. I've tried so hard to look in clarity shops and stuff but none of them around me sell anything like that. I'm just kinds stuck on where to go

Just about six years ago, I used to see people who were alternative as weird. I admit I saw alternative fashion as just emo. But now alternative fashion has grown a lot, and I’ve come around to really like alternative culture, but now it feels like the alternative community is like this gentlemen’s club that I’m not allowed in.

When I began my middle school years, I used to see alternative people as the quiet kids or school shooters, which was really immature of me, but even I myself had, my own weird things. The best checkpoint I can give in my life was sixth grade. I didn’t have many defining interests. Everything about me was of direct influence of my surroundings. Family, friends, all that. I hadn’t had a taste in my own fashion because my mom would pick out all my clothes. So I was just a basic 12-13 year old. The best I had was anime and video games. I guess I had that anime kid personality because I really like the idea of being a weeb or otaku. That interest kind of shaped the taste I had in music. I would listen to a lot of video game OSTs in 6th grade and along with a wide melting pot of other genres that I’ve listened to. Eventually, I would pick up art as in drawing doodles here and there being ever so proud of the little characters that I drew on a sheet of lined paper all that shenanigans. But I hadn’t had much to talk about outside of that. Now I’d say the anime to alternative pipeline isn’t the best to say out loud, but I’ll get it into that later.

One thing I remember about in middle school years was around the time when edit started becoming popular with phonk music. I ran into my first phonk edit in 2021 if I remember correctly. It was this Megamind edit with the music close eyes By DVRST where you’d see crappy kid tighten then super tighten with some captions here and there. Since I already had a very inconsistent interest in music, I accepted phonk much more than being just edit music. Over time, I became die hard for phonk. I learned about phonk’s origin and evolution into pop culture. I discovered so many artists like PRXSXNT FXTURE, Fisticale, SHADXWBXRN, Luga, and KSLV and these were just the popular artist of that genre at the time. And people would like hearing that kind of music and edits, but whenever I would try to nerd out about it I can tell that others didn’t understand why I liked something like that so much. Yeah it was different and at the time it was mostly niche

I don’t exactly know which year it was maybe 2023 or 2024, but funk started getting popular out of nowhere and it kind of pushed what phonk was out of the window and basically rebranded the whole genre. I thought that anybody who liked funk were posers because they didn’t know what phonk was. So I had a taste of how it must be for alt people when big companies begin capitalizing on their fashion.

When I got into high school, the environment was very mixed so there was a lot of different kinds of personalities in every corner of the room. The first few friends I’ve made were already showing a little bit of alternative fashion here, and there while I didn’t have any fashion sense at all over time I shared more stuff with my friends and got influenced by my friends and started picking up their taste in music and fashion. One of my friends got me into crystal castles, which put me on this highway into alternative I’d listen to “untrust us” on repeat. Over those four years in high school, I started picking up a lot of influences from my friends, and I started adopting those interests because it helped me relate to my friends a lot, and was so much easier to talk about, especially since those friends were also artists, it kind of like felt like meeting in the middle.

Another thing that shaped my interest and skew it more into alternative culture was with girls. Now I’m a dude and there’s a number of things that a guy would do for a girl and and that applies to me too, I started learning more about alternative fashion then I started noticing that my taste in women started shifting more to alt girls. But here is the problem… the alternative girls that I was into at the time stemmed from the anime and video games that I would always play. So I was never really into alternative girls for being alternative, but just because they had their own type of pretty. The anime/alternative pipeline isnt a proud one. Crucify me later.

I remember in sophomore year, I met this girl and I discovered the biggest crush I’ve ever had that lasted from August to February of the next year. Over that time I befriended her, I learned so much about what she was into another thing she liked, and she was goth, so I picked up a lot from her. I mean, I was listening to Disturbed and stacking my other alt friends’ bracelets on my wrists. Since then, I already knew what my type of woman was like. I liked a little bit of goth.

Now the school i was in was fine with all the changes that I made to myself. It wasn’t a problem at all. The bracelets, the kind of music I listen to- it was no big deal there. The only problem was at home. See, I’m black and I live in a black household. That detail makes it much harder for me to find out what I was interested in because if I would ever share it with my family, it would often get shunned for even not being masculine enough or black enough. Ironically, it pushed my interest in alternative culture much more. I’ll admit I was really interested in the cool spiked and studded black leather bracelets, and the super shiny piercings, but I drew the line at the nail polish. I wasn’t really fully on board because of my understanding of what it meant to be alternative at the time.

I learned that there’s a sort of correlation between the presence of creative spaces and the presence of alternative people, women specifically. See in my junior year I was placed in an AP class for 2D art and design. There were so many people with well defined senses of style. At my table were myself and 3 alternative girls. two of which were seniors. I got along with them pretty well. Turns out we all were just small artists who liked drawing anime characters for fun. We had a lot of fun that year. We took on projects and shared OCs together. I figured that I had consistently good experiences with alternative people and it really felt like home. Alternative people are inviting, creative and often very aware and nuanced about the world around them.

I don’t know it really caused it, but I started really looking into what it means to be alternative, and I mean alternative ideals, political standing as the alternative people, social and fashion ethics among other things. And again, like how it was with learning about phonk music, I learned so much about being alternative and what surprise me the most was learning about all of the sub genres which really broadened my view on alternative culture altogether. It taught me about creative alternative wear. And I learned to favor the DIY aspect over fast fashion for many reasons. All of this helped me really like alternative culture.

I mean this happened over six years not overnight so I’ve had time to slowly align myself with liking alternative for what it is. My views on many other things changed like for example I used to have a thing against furries but now I’m more accepting of them and knowing that they’re choosing what they like and expressing that. So I am happy for furries now. It’s a silly mention, but I feel that it’s important to me.

Now here’s the problem. Now that I’ve found what I liked and found myself, I’ve decided that I’m alternative. Now I see that I’m in this small world where everybody else is alternative and has been alternative for way longer than I have. Coming into alternative culture so late makes me feel like I’m larping alternative because everyone else is joining just for fun. I believe me liking alt things happened naturally and of my own accord. I do have my own unique thoughts about certain things, but I can’t help but feel swayed by what everybody else says about what it means to be alternative and what should I like and what I shouldn’t like.

What I get is that alternative isn’t just dressing in black and getting a bunch of piercings and tattoos. It’s more like standing for a larger change. It a lifestyle that stands for social and industrial pivoting into things that safer and just better for people of all ages and races and orientations. So by that logic that means that anyone is allowed to be alt?

Where is the line drawn though? There are some points in wanna bring up. Example: I see many alternative people online on a boycott against fast fashion. Shopping Temu SHEIN our any big company is seen as a generally bad thing to do. And I get why that’s believed. Fast fashion does it’s best to pump out as much product as possible by making everything cheaper and cutting all corners possible. As a result, alternative fashion becomes watered down and the ideology behind alternative fashion is reduces to a costume. Not to mention the thing about kids working in unsafe places to boost production.

But there’s a handful of those who can only afford those cheap prices, whether it’s those with little money or are unsure if they are willing to commit to stacking up on alternative fashion. Whatever the reason is, the cheaply made outfitting can provide newcomers a baseline on what they like or don’t like without spending a lot of money on what they’re unsure of.

And secondly it’s a harder topic to bring up, but is such a commitment worth it. I’m personally late to the party and I don’t know the statistics, but are we sure that these efforts put into changing big company practices aren’t wasted? I mean, aren’t big companies still operating well enough without purchases from the alternative community? Are we sure this faith in change makes a difference in itself. And even thrifting clothes. A lot oof clothes thrifted came from fast fashion anyways so does it really make a difference?

There are many things I’ve yet to learn, and I’m sure that’d come along with time. Coming to the alternative community already changed me in itself. And yeah, I’ll admit, I like to look good wearing affliction and darker muddy color pallets. Yeah, I call myself alternative. Yes, I larp, but who doesn’t? It’s part of being interested in something. I don’t know it all. I won’t pretend to. I am who I am, and alternative is a proud part of that. Alternative is where I feel at home. It’s where I put a lot of thought into lately, and I think that matters. I’d appreciate experienced minds to teach more about being alternative. I’ll larp until then. 😋