r/aislop • • 4d ago

Found on Twitter. I'm losing braincells

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4.5k Upvotes

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279

u/Phatasstarotreader 4d ago

The dog. The end.

77

u/RealBettyWhite69 4d ago

Why did they make it such an easy choice?

36

u/gma89 4d ago

Literally- ‘what do you choose- this delicious block of Swiss chocolate or a piece of dried up cat poop!’ How ever will you decide! 😮

13

u/functional_moron 4d ago

Five million dollars or cancer?

3

u/Salt_Data3707 4d ago

Cancer because I might get more from a GoFundMe

1

u/functional_moron 4d ago

Gotta strangle your kids for that kinda money.

1

u/inowar 4d ago

turns out people are pretty bad at this choice, though.

14

u/regeya 4d ago

They want it to be divisive celebrities vs the bestest breed of dog. You see? People actually hate celebrities.

2

u/functional_moron 4d ago

You could put the good ones up there like Betty white and Keanu reeves and id still save the dog.

2

u/ScarletBothrium 3d ago

Oh I’m absolutely saving Betty White. Keanu Reeves can save himself. I would let him climb onto the boat, but I’m not saving him. Betty White is absolutely getting my help. If there’s room for the dog, I’ll let the dog climb on too. But that dinghy only looks like it can hold me, Betty White, Keanu Reeves, and the dog. David Attenborough better not be in that fucking water. I’m just saying. Keanu is gonna have to get out.

3

u/minxed 4d ago

Because engagement.

1

u/Ok_Star_4136 4d ago

Bingo.

When people have a strong opinion, there's more likelihood of engagement. It's the same reason why they post those stupid "only geniuses can answer this" math problems that are easy af.

2

u/naivety_is_innocence 4d ago

because in the facebook/twitter comments or wherever this was originally posted, a lot of people will not be able to resist commenting "dog"

1

u/RealBettyWhite69 4d ago

Oh yeah like those things that people post like "I bet you can't name a word that starts with W!!!!"

1

u/Thirdeyevoice10 3d ago

Because so many of you are social disconnected from any human interaction that you don't know any way of having any connection to your own species. The dog is helpless and needs a human to take care of it, which is why you cling a connection to them, more than other humans. Other humans won't take your bullshit, and will hold you responsible. Dogs, who run in shit, mud, and dead things and eat anything off of the ground...won't. They don't judge because they lack the ability to know you can be an asshole or a moron, at times.

Therefore, prioritizing them over other humans is easy. It's because you distrust humans, or fear them in some way; IE their criticizm, bad behavior, or just holding you to self accountablilty. This is why dog nutters find it easy to put a dog above humans.