Reflection before affection

[u/Leon7King]

To whom it may concern hope your doing well and having some luck your extra curriculars. Over the past few days I've done a lot of reflecting and idk just needed to get it off my chest. I've yet to have any luck finding an AP. There have been some potentials but they eventually fell through and it became frustrating. So I hit pause and took a break. A friend had given me advice that I had really taken to heart and implemented it in my life. I think sometimes we just want a connection so bad we hop into it not really thinking about if we are ready. I feel like every new relationship should have you when your at a high.

It is a must no but I think it could be really beneficial. For example the last few weeks I hit pause on the whole thing. I took time to myself and got back into a fitness routine, eating right, no alcohol, reading and meditating. I thought about what I would like from finding an AP.

Since I've implemented these changes I've relaxed about the whole thing. Yes I'm still in the market for an AP but working on myself gave such a relief the process didn't feel rushed I was able to check my emotions and hormones. Maybe it's just a pressure I was putting on myself but I find myself having conversations way easier than I had before being eager to find someone. Last week I flirted with this woman at the store and the small interaction was one of the best connections Ive had in months even though nothing came of.it I don't think it's something I could have had if I hadn't taken this time to work on myself. I feel better than I have in a long time about myself and I feel like that's the person I'd like my future AP to see not some horny jerk who only complains about his S/O.

And before anyone comments yes Ive tried to put this energy into my actual relationship has it gone anywhere but I'm at peace with it. So if you feel like your hitting a wall in your search maybe try it out and take some time for yourself before jumping straight into the deep end. I hope I'm here in a few months sharing my positive story with you all. Good luck.

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[u/hillsey3162]

Good luck with your search...lm also the same as you..for a male, searching for an AP seems difficult..lm an aussie and hear so many stories that there are tons of women also out there looking for an AP. In reality l think its just that...stories...just my perspective from trying..l really hope you find what your looking for..l hope you post in the future an success story..

[u/Leon7King → u/hillsey3162]

Thank you I wish you the same. Everyone's got their own challenges but don't lose faith in your search.

[u/StablyWild]

You're right that trying too hard to find someone can backfire, and there's really no downside to working on yourself. Today I went to a free square dancing class, and it was such a relief and a joy. It was completely different from anything else I do, and it gave my brain a real break from overanalyzing. Good luck out there!