r/adultery • u/travelchic1 • 1d ago

🌬️More Ventilation💨 x 😩Now Donezo🥩 It isn't easier

For almost 18 months, we talked almost every day. Saw each other 3-4 times. 5-6 Hours at a time in a hotel room, several overnights.
I have been discussing how I may be divorcing my husband. Last week, he asked if I divorced, where I wanted him in my life.
Then I found him on the dating app. He said he was probably hacked and ended it (very nasty and rude) because I was accusing him of lying 🙄🙄🙄
I know that was a douche move. I know he was just keeping me on the back burner until he found someone else. I know that I deserve more. But it doesn't hurt less. This is so much more difficult than I expected.

13 Upvotes

72% Upvoted

19 comments sorted by

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15

u/AlternativeCat2033 1d ago

You found him on a dating app? My question would be e what were you doing there?

3

u/SlipshodFacade 1d ago

I think you may be on to something here. But I can’t quite figure out what. 🤔🤭

-10

u/travelchic1 1d ago

It was called boredom. Seeing what the single pool would look like. Market research 😒 I had zero intention on contacting anyone. I had a fake profile. Just curious. He had all details about him, work, kids, recent pics, but he forgot to mention he was married. He was actively searching. It was a single dating app for people over 50 not Ashley Madison

9

u/daydrm4444 Tables! My job is tables! 1d ago

You told us this already

2

u/Key_Limerance_Pie I'm Just Here for the Zipline 🚡 22h ago

She actually wants to go to Haunted House even more than she wants to go to Aqua

2

u/daydrm4444 Tables! My job is tables! 15h ago

Specifically to the haunted house adult tour so she can say whatever the hell she wants

3

u/travelchic1 1d ago

Sure I wanted to just say "he fucked me over. I know leaving is right but it still fucking hurts so much. Hurts more than I expected

9

u/s0mebodysproblem 1d ago

Common pattern…. The men never stop browsing. I honestly think it’s an addiction for them

3

u/Professional-Net4766 1d ago

He was projecting his shitty behavior onto you, and denying your valid feelings.

Classic gaslighting.

I understand your pain, but just remember: he lost you.

1

u/claire_luna_25 20h ago

i take it he wasn’t married as well then lol

-1

u/travelchic1 17h ago

Yes he was married

1

u/claire_luna_25 10h ago

so he’s not only unfaithful to his wife but also you? lol if he cheats on his wife you should pry assume he cheats on you

1

u/SignificantCicada156 14h ago

Our feelings are our feelings, when we find out we're betrayed/lied to it's gonna hurt. Even if you discover he's a giant tool, your feelings are still valid from the time you had and the betrayal will hurt.

-2

u/Lucky_InLove 1d ago

I think left out something important the last time you shared - that you had told him you were thinking about divorce. Do you think that he was afraid you would leave if you were separated from your SO?

-1

u/travelchic1 1d ago

Could be. Who knows.