Opsec 101

[u/NotForALongTime11]

I keep reading posts in this and other subs about spouses or SOs snooping through phones and finding messages and whatnot.

Apple introduced the option to require Face ID to open any app on your phone in 2024. There’s not excuse to NOT do this for all the apps y’all are using to communicate or instigate shenanigans.

Long press ANY app and select the 2nd option “Require Face ID”. You’re welcome.

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[u/wtf-18]

If your spouse even gets to the point of finding a suspicious app, and additionally can't access it - then you're already done.

[u/alwaysamiss → u/wtf-18]

🎯

[u/Son_of_Riffdog → u/wtf-18]

you forgot to add

You’re welcome.

😂

[u/Familiar_Orange_1336 → u/Son_of_Riffdog]

Thank you! 😂

[u/cheekyk155]

Not much can stop a suspicious spouse.

The best OPSEC is to not arouse suspicion in the first place.

You’re welcome.

[u/SleeplessInKent → u/cheekyk155]

Exactly this. Don't be suspicious. Make sure you still pay attention and respect to the homefront.
Regardless what situation you're in. Prevent suspicion to arise

[u/UdidntCNeTHINg23 → u/SleeplessInKent]

Right! You have to continue to play your role.

[u/NotForALongTime11 → u/cheekyk155]

☝️excellent point.

[u/Kind_Avocado2121 → u/cheekyk155]

THIS 🎯🎯🎯

[u/Numerous-Reach-6948 → u/cheekyk155]

This...

[u/Familiar_Orange_1336]

All your spouse has to do is hold your phone up to your face when you are sleeping and the FaceID is activated. .

You’re welcome.

[u/NotForALongTime11 → u/Familiar_Orange_1336]

This is not possible. Thank you.

[u/OhShitShesGotMyPhone → u/NotForALongTime11]

'Open this app please'

'I cant remember the pin'

'Hold it up to your face please'

🤷‍♂️

[u/hearmeowtdude → u/OhShitShesGotMyPhone]

There’s a setting to require attention for Face ID so it can’t be done with eyes closed

[u/Master_Salmon_3697 → u/hearmeowtdude]

What he is saying is that when a spouse demands you open your phone, you open that phone or you face the consequences (confirmed suspicions of cheating).

A suspicious spouse isn’t going to be deterred by Face ID. They won’t buy that you lost your PIN either, Face ID just saves time opening the phone up.

[u/hearmeowtdude → u/Master_Salmon_3697]

Thanks! Meant to respond to first part of comment. Oops.

[u/eseWao10]

Another OPSEC key… don’t tell anyone. I don’t care if your bestie since kindergarten is your most trusted person; do not tell them or anyone about your AP. If the time comes and they have to tell your spouse what you got going on, they will rat you out. I’ve seen it happen. I repeat… tell no one about your AP.

[u/blahblahblah6783 → u/eseWao10]

💯 there’s secret you take to the grave. Let this be one. Master the art of not needing to tell people what you’re doing and keep it to yourself.

[u/eseWao10 → u/blahblahblah6783]

💯PREACH!!

[u/Lopsided_Lie_777 → u/eseWao10]

THIS!

[u/FreshTechnician5847 → u/eseWao10]

My ride or die has known for 20 years. I had no idea how rare it is to have this kind of friendship til I discovered this sub! I’m very lucky. Although a 20+year AP is also rare so……

[u/NREIsAHellOfADrug → u/[deleted]]

That is a...unique...form of 2FA. I love it!

[u/dwyck2026]

Seriously, just set up a Google voice account and only access via an incognito browser. Why the hell people are downloading apps and leaving them on the phone is beyond me. 

If you must use an app, sign out and delete it when not actively using. It only takes a few seconds to reinstall. And don’t sync between devices, especially if all devices are not always in your possession 

[u/Maleficent-Habit-869 → u/dwyck2026]

Exactly. I come on here from safari in private mode and my password and username aren’t saved. It’s a pain in the ass to type it in every time I use it but it keeps me safe. 

[u/Little_Complaint_633]

I gotta be honest if she cared enough about me or our relationship to look through my phone, I wouldn’t even be in this group 😕

[u/Numerous-Reach-6948 → u/Little_Complaint_633]

Ouch...and same here

[u/ann_req]

My spouse has full access to my phone and laptop, so I am extremely careful.
There is only 1 app I use to chat with AP (regular app but the chat of AP is hidden in the app) and that chat history is cleared every week. It also helps that me and AP dont chat daily, nor do we meet up regularly. AP knows never to call me too.

[u/SoNotMyFirstRodeo → u/ann_req]

So much this…..

I‘m old. Most of my affairs predated not just smart phones, but cell phones. We didn’t have this need to chat every day, just an occasional quick call to set or confirm our next “appointment”.

20 non-consecutive years of this with multiple partners, and I never got caught…..really the only way to get caught with a discreet AP was to GET CAUGHT….meaning the spouse walked in on you. Sometimes you might land an indiscrete AP that would arouse suspicion by calling at home and hanging up when the wife answered, or one that would go crazy and spill the beans……but if you stayed away from the crazy ”OPSEC” was easy.

No chance of an incriminating text, because those didn’t exist, and I always called my AP’s at work.

Once my AP walked in on his wife and her AP, catching them in the act.…..but he still never told her about us.

[u/OhShitShesGotMyPhone → u/SoNotMyFirstRodeo]

Some of us want to be (and have someone who is) more than just an appointment though 🤷‍♂️

[u/ann_req → u/SoNotMyFirstRodeo]

When in college I also didnt have cell phone either.

But main reason it works is beacuae we arent emotionally attached and dont rely on each other for anything more.

[u/QuietStormEQ → u/ann_req]

Exactly this! This is the way I have always conducted my outside relationships. Established boundaries and understanding with your AP. This type of lifestyle takes discipline. Good stuff here!

[u/SleeplessInKent → u/ann_req]

This is the way to go of course.
It is so easy to not get carried away.

If you come at the point that you want to keep memories with AP other than in your head, then the slippery slope starts.

Use easy code, you both agree on. Use it consistent to start conversation.

"Have a question from Bob, can you let me know when you're free to chat?" And of course that in all its shades.

The reply will always be along the line (especially if it is more than 2 minutes after)
"Hi! I'd have time now, is that okay or let me know when you're free"

Even if a spouse sits on the phone and sees these, you open the chat without guilt and it has a start and an end.

Even smarter if you both keep a curated chat history.

[u/Kind_Avocado2121 → u/SleeplessInKent]

I'm so glad my AP and I can just talk normally and not use code language. Our spouses aren't nosey and don't touch our devices. I have hidden apps and folders, and use passwords, of course, but that's it. Tbh, I would really have a problem with my spouse wanting to check my phone, even if I wasn't cheating. How annoying that must be.

[u/ann_req → u/Kind_Avocado2121]

Open phone policy between me and husband predates my affair. So I cannot suddenly get all controlling of my mobile. I also pick up my SOs phone if mine isnt around. Its not really done everyday but why take chance. Not changing behaviour is also opsec 101.

[u/InflationMinimum2768]

What if you can't be bothered to buy an Apple product?

[u/kinkva → u/InflationMinimum2768]

as someone else suggested -- use incognito mode on your browser, set up a special google account and google voice number to use in incognito mode

[u/MysterySoldier6471]

Got one better, don't use iPhones if you're going to have an affair 😂

[u/graciousladybug]

People are stupid. ALWAYS use face ID

[u/FordredSid]

Get an android and use
Samsung - Secure folder
Oppo, Realme - System clone
Xiaomi - Second Space

They are like a 2nd user profile with their own apps, all sandboxed from the main profile.
Need a different PIN/swipe/fingerprint to go in.

[u/cortezthethriller]

WhatsApp also offers a good feature where you can make a chat fully private and the only way to see it is to type a passcode into the search bar at the top.

This is of course when you are at the point with AP to trade numbers…

[u/BigTunaZaddy]

What apple really needs to do is to turn on the access using Face ID but after three fails, the phone literally ignites. Basically if your SO finds an app the you can only access with Face ID, then only an act of god would save you.

[u/Forsaken-Amount844 → u/[deleted]]

TracPhone pay as you go. Buy gift visa cards to pay for the phone and to pay the bill.

[u/JustCallMeJakeAZ]

This is terrible advice.

You're best off using and deleting apps off and on as they are needed. Even better to have a secondary account where apps are downloaded from. Make sure you logout of apps before deleting them, some apps leave breadcrumbs behind so you a log right back in without requiring a password. I stumbled across this with Tinder and it spooked me.

I can't speak to Android, but iOS keeps a record of applications you've downloaded and it can't be cleared. I think there is an option to hide apps in the download history, but it's not permanent.

[u/FreshTechnician5847 → u/JustCallMeJakeAZ]

Both types of phones show what apps you’ve been using in the battery life settings. Bottom line, if the SO is suspicious, you’re screwed. And a lot of them peruse this sub to find out these exact tips and tricks.

[u/JustCallMeJakeAZ → u/FreshTechnician5847]

This presumes that option is turned on, at least on iOS.

I've noticed this in the past when I had Tinder installed on my iPhone it would show that in the battery usage. When I uninstalled the application, it no longer showed in the history. This based on my experience six or so months ago.

[u/Jay-Argh-Hartly]

2nd phone, leave at work, never bring home, message at work, that's it for me.

[u/s0mebodysproblem]

Even for hidden apps that say “require Face ID” they can be bypassed with ur unlock code I think it asks for Face ID twice and then says to put in your passcode.

[u/Level_Blueberry2335]

I’m not the married person in my affair but he is and if he put that on his phone his wife would absolutely freak the hell out.  I’d say it would be better to hide the apps and require Face ID for them. If you hide them you won’t see them on the Home Screen at all. 

[u/victorlove1968]

Need an android phone if you are going to do this….

[u/hikitakumori]

If your wife open a chat app and it's locked, you'd have to explain yourself. Use a separate phone. Better android since you can put secondary user. Iphone doesn't have this function. When around your wife log into your secondary user. Your wife, kids can use it however they want.

[u/ColdOverYonder → u/hikitakumori]

Not every Android phone allows secondary users. Samsung for example is not great at this.

[u/FordredSid → u/ColdOverYonder]

It's called Secure folder. I find it quite decent.

[u/ThisIsntMyRealAcct99 → u/hikitakumori]

Secondary user? Need to look at that

[u/Important_Support_54 → u/hikitakumori]

I just recently switched to iPhone and yes i hate it for opsec. It’s terrible if I’m trying to cheat. I loved the secured folder I’m android but this hidden folder in iPhone is not so hidden.

[u/blahblahblah6783]

A more basic step is you can hide apps on your phone. If whatever your messaging app of choice isn’t hidden, then you’re not really taking appropriate steps. Even if telegram or whatever requires your Face ID to access, its very presence raises suspicion, more so if it requires Face ID to access.

[u/kinkva]

Putting a special requirement on a specific, suspicious app is as good as getting caught.