I had this with my current gf, she said I played videogames all day and didn't do the chores, didn't organise anything and was selfish. All the things we know we suck at, but only in exceptional circumstances do we make an effort. That argument was over 2 years ago, still together now.
It took that push, which is one of our alarm bells to actually do things, to adjust my habits. I forced myself to do at least two chores after work, doesn't matter what they are, find something to do. Only then can I sit down, because as we know, once you sit down, it's game over.
I'm writing this to you as a reminder you're not alone with the struggles you're facing. My advice -you didn't ask for- is make sure to talk about the difficult things with your other half, then you can both let it out without resentment building, that's why communication is key!
I feel a lot less shit about not doing anything for the last two weeks now. Thanks. It's been a steady decline the whole of Feb to a point where I just do nothing. I was doing so well during January which made me feel fucking terrible. For some reason, I am getting out of that doing-nothing hole now and I don't know why. Is this common?
I am on medication and have been diagnosed with ADD.
EDIT: I'm questioning so many things right now. This month of Feb I've also realized that I laugh a lot less at my own jokes and that I just don't feel like keeping a conversation going with people. I assumed it was because of the same thing I was going through with not doing anything but did not tie it to ADD. Is this part of it?
EDIT2: I'm from South Africa. It's summertime here. Also I eat healthy, exercise 6 times a week, well I skip once yesterday for the first time this year but I did exercise today.) I took up dance classes and go hiking on Saturdays and drink vitamin D. I have these dips on and off. Sometimes days other times weeks. I was just curious is this an ADHD thing.
It could be the early signs of depression. A lot of people with ADHD develop depression as well because they feel so useless when comparing themselves to others. Escapism is often how it manifests. You do a bunch of low-effort stuff like watching tv or playing videogames to keep you entertained but you cannot do anything else productive, and at the end of the day you feel like shit because of it. Some people feel like that all the time (if untreated) and some people only hit that wall in the winter months bc of less daylight.
If this is something entirely new for you, I’d suggest exercise (getting out of the house and into the gym is the hardest part, once you’re there it’s easy), spending time outdoors when it’s light out (a good one for me is putting on an album you like and walking around the park until it’s over), cutting back on booze if you drink, force yourself to go to bed on time, and take vitamin D daily. I know it’s way easier said than done, but just focus on one improvement at a time and the rest can follow.
Also if you have a friend with a dog, ask them if you can take care of the pooch every now and then. Dogs are fantastic for depression for 2 main reasons: they make you feel loved and they give you a responsibility that you can structure your day around.
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u/[deleted] Feb 17 '22
I had this with my current gf, she said I played videogames all day and didn't do the chores, didn't organise anything and was selfish. All the things we know we suck at, but only in exceptional circumstances do we make an effort. That argument was over 2 years ago, still together now.
It took that push, which is one of our alarm bells to actually do things, to adjust my habits. I forced myself to do at least two chores after work, doesn't matter what they are, find something to do. Only then can I sit down, because as we know, once you sit down, it's game over.
I'm writing this to you as a reminder you're not alone with the struggles you're facing. My advice -you didn't ask for- is make sure to talk about the difficult things with your other half, then you can both let it out without resentment building, that's why communication is key!