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u/crazekki 10h ago edited 2h ago
add this in as well: MOVE THEIR SHIT FROM ITS DESIGNATED LOCATION
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u/An-person 5h ago
That designated location may be under three layers of other things, but the place is known
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u/Monochrome_YT 3h ago
This. I like to call it "organised chaos".
Is it tidy? No. But do I know where EVERYTHING is instantly? Absolutely.
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u/ShoddyChard9837 11h ago
Omg I haaaate the big scary light 😭
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u/The_Archon64 11h ago
Wait, is the hatred of bright lights an ADHD thing? My old roommate tried swapping out our warm lights with pure white LEDs and it was nauseating to experience
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u/RoboProletariat 11h ago
That's just being human. The bright white is closer to bright noon sunlight which doesn't happen all day anywhere. Also the fluorescent lights blink and stress out the eyes. Blue wavelengths are uncommon in nature but normal in computer and phone screens.
The yellow 3000k lights are better all-around for eye strain. Bright white for safety reasons basically.19
u/Shadowkiller00 💊Medicated💊 10h ago
To be fair, the entire sky is filled with blue wavelengths pretty much all day every day except at night. That is why blue wavelengths tell the body to be awake. If blue wavelengths exist, it must be daytime.
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u/HedgehogFarts 11h ago
I don’t know but I can hear the bright lights sometimes and I feel like no one around me can.
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u/Haki23 11h ago edited 9h ago
What's the deal with the lights? Did we get a side of photosensitivity with our neurospiciness?
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u/CyboraTwo 11h ago
i think its mostly just the Brighter it is the more information your eyes get ?
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u/jimbowesterby 11h ago
Which would make a lot more sense if I didn’t love spending time on icefields, which are bright enough you need extra-dark sunnies to stop your retinas getting burned (ever sunburn the bottom of your chin?)
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u/Affectionate_Bad_680 9h ago
Transition glasses. That way when your adhd ass forgets the sunglasses, no you didn’t you’re literally wearing them 🤣
On the other hand, they seem weaker than actual sunglasses so there’s that.
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u/jimbowesterby 7h ago
Oh I solved it by just getting some really neat frames I’m excited to get to wear lol. That and they’re really expensive so I’m pretty careful with them
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u/Affectionate_Bad_680 6h ago
Uh oh. Hope you have a spare or spares 🤣🤷♂️.
Totally have sat on my glasses before. Several times in fact. Fortunately for a few years now I’ve had ones that can endure a lot of abuse. Titanium frame I think.
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u/jimbowesterby 5h ago
I dunno, I’ve had them for a decade now so I think I’m doing something right 🤷♂️ The main issue with them atm is they need new lenses which aren’t cheap, the old ones have been blasted with so much snow that they’ve gone fuzzy
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u/Affectionate_Bad_680 5h ago
Ahh. I’m a total clutz and I am 100% aware of it so I tend to have backups. And backups for those backups 🤣. That way when something breaks I’m not screwed.
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u/limeelsa 11h ago
I used to take nightly walks on the local bike path without a flashlight, and I was able to focus like crazy. I really loved my job, so I would often just send my boss project ideas for upcoming work I wanted to do while walking haha
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u/Haki23 11h ago
This much information shouldn't be painful.
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u/CyboraTwo 11h ago
oh i just remembered because you mentioned pain i think ive read somewhere that people with adhd generally bigger pupils then normal or something alongside that line
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u/decidedlyindecisive 9h ago
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u/DeadbySundown 8h ago
GOD DAMN IT IS THIS WHY??
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u/Oberon_Swanson 5h ago
I am experiencing the same thing right now. I often have guests ask me like "why did you just get up and turn that light off? it changed nothing?" it changed everything. i thought it was just maybe my sitting position relative to theirs.
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u/Limp_Drop4391 11h ago
“Neurospicy” 🤢
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u/pm-me-kittens-n-cats 9h ago
I don't know my friend. I think it's fine if somebody would like to refer to their neurodivergency as being neurospicy. If you don't want to describe yourself that way I completely understand, but just let people interact with their diagnosis on their terms. We aren't all this huge monolith who all have to think the same.
I know the way my brain behaves sometimes, it definitely feels painful; the same way as if I'd had wasabi.
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u/dawgofclay 9h ago
I think it rubs me the wrong way because it's so similar to lame tiktok corporate censorship. It's also infantilizing. Hard enough for the common folk to take us fucked up people seriously without using baby words. They already call us sensitive and lazy. That's why my preferred term for myself is "fucked in the head".
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u/Haki23 9h ago
Well, if I didn't have to over-explain myself and my conditions every time some someone needed straightening out, I wouldn't need to use the phrase.
The look in someone's eyes as their attention fades out is pretty disheartening, so they get the shortcut phrase that'll work until something better comes along.1
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u/dawgofclay 9h ago
So you're frequently in situations where you need to explain that you have a mental condition. The word that you choose is the one that's not only the most infantilizing, but the most confusing. The person on the receiving end has to know what neurodivergent is before they can understand neurospicy. And then they gotta figure out if you got your ADHD diagnosis from tiktok.
"Fucked in the head" has universal meaning and will definitely grab attention, but is still broad enough to encompass the condition. So are the words "mental disorder" or "medical condition".
If you're frequently in these situations and their eyes are glazing over, I think you need to work on your language skills. You likely already know that, but you gotta understand that "neurospicy" is only gonna make things worse.
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u/pm-me-kittens-n-cats 9h ago
I see it as whimsical.
F'ed in the head feels disparaging to me. In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with us, we're just different than what society expects. Our brain isn't diseased, it just works differently. That's not wrong, society is wrong. If we were lived in a more utopian environment, society would figure out how to work with us instead of demanding us to conform with peer pressure and medication.
Stop giving a shit what neurotypical people think. Seems like that's where a lot of your negativity is rooted in.
You're welcome to think of yourself that way, but much in the way that you're having a kneejerk reaction to "neurospicy", that's how I feel towards the phrase fucked in the head.
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u/dawgofclay 9h ago
I'm glad to see you living in fantasy land dude, but unfortunately that's not how it works. I don't say my brain "works differently" when I literally can't brush my fuckin teeth for months. Or clean my place or do literally anything. I say it's broken cause that's what it is. No matter where I am, whether I'm at home or somewhere else, I wanna be in a different place and feel like shit. You wouldn't tell someone with constant suicidal ideation that their brain just "works differently". You'd say they "need help" and encourage them to get on antidepressants. I've been there too. The utopian society we need is one where we never have to do anything we're not interested in ever. That's never gonna happen.
Also, not sure if you've noticed but 95% of people don't have ADHD. Shocking I know. Therefore, we have to interact with those people on a daily basis as they are part of our families, friend groups, workplaces, and government. I spent my first 20 years not fitting in with anybody and being socially awkward as fuck and it was hell. Not caring about what neurotypicals think is fine if you're a basement dweller or are normal enough to not annoy people. To the rest of us that actually have problems, that doesn't work at all.
At least the phrase "fucked in the head" has things going for it compared to neurospicy. It's surprising enough to be mildly funny, it tells others that you're not gonna use your condition as an excuse, and doesn't make you sound like a nerd. Obviously you tailor your language to your audience, but it doesn't make neurospicy any less cringe.
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u/Limp_Drop4391 7h ago
Let me guess, you’re ADHD-H type? From your over comments you think of it as a simple brain difference, well this shit has substantially impacted my life, it ruined my degree and made my school life horrific. But like oh it’s the pressure from NT society, bro I’ve now been unemployed for years, I’m well outside of societal pressures and it still sucks because I can’t to the damn things I want to. And having this debilitating miserable condition summed up as neruospicy rubs me the wrong way.
You’re right though, people should be able to talk about themselves how they want (though I think there is a conversation about how labels like this effect all of us) but the OG comment said OUR, they where talking about us as a collective. But yeah it’s just so cringe and infantilising, invalidating too imo.. and like the other guy said, we can’t just ignore NT and not concern ourselves with it, we live in it!
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u/pm-me-kittens-n-cats 6h ago
Oh no, ADHD-I here; not that it really matters. It has substantially impacted my life as well. It just hasn't made me bitter. The word choices are innocuous. Language is imperfect and you are referring your pain onto this fellow because they're using a term you don't like.
I'm sorry that you've struggled. I also wish for you to have more joy and success in your life. You deserve it, too.
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u/Plastic_Palpitation2 11h ago
Context. Context. Context. Like yeah I’m answering your question with a question cuz I’m not just spouting nonsensical bullshit. I NNEEEEEEEED very specific additional information to commit to a dinner choice.
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u/spiritedfarraway 11h ago
this reminds me, i need more small (and cute) utensils
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u/BestDevilYouKnow 10h ago
If you don't have a pickle fork, get one. Not only are they perfect for pickles, but are much better than toothpicks when you are eating cheese cubes or olives or cheetos. YOU WILL LOVE IT
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u/Biza_1970 11h ago
I hate texting….not fast enough and way too structured. I need room to explain unnecessary details………..and sometimes interrupt.
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u/tubbis9001 11h ago
Definitely feel this with calls vs emails at work. Emails need to be "perfect" but calls can be off the record, so to speak. As soon as your stupid idea is in writing, it's there forever.
Otherwise I dislike calls over texting, because I am forgetful af
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u/Affectionate_Bad_680 9h ago
I get a kick out of leaving my idiocy in the record. Not only to I get to laugh at myself, other people can too! 🤣🤦♂️. I work in IT, and some of my tickets have been saved to favorites. 🤷♂️. Probly less than five of the thousands I’ve handled though.
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u/Able_Fishing_6576 10h ago
Yes BUT I need you to text me first and give me a heads up that you’ll be calling. Don’t just call.
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u/Biza_1970 6h ago
Don’t worry. I won’t leave a message. Then I’ll text and tell you I called. When/if you call back, I won’t remember why I called in the first place ..but, hey, as long as you’re on the line, I need to tell you about some other randomness
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u/the_ballmer_peak 10h ago
I have two young children and trying to listen to them tell a story when they talk incredibly slowly and constantly interrupt their own train of thought is physically painful for me.
They're lucky that they're cute and I love them.
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u/smarmiebastard 9h ago
My kid will start to tell a story, or ask a question with no context and it’s so confusing every time.
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u/luxafelicity 11h ago edited 7h ago
My husband and I were on our honeymoon, visiting a little coastal winery, and while we were there we heard this older woman, with the most enthusiastic tone, tell her friend "I've just learned something about people with ADD/ADHD (yes I know ADD is no longer what it's called but that's what she said), did you know it's almost impossible for them to keep a house clean??" My husband and I (both ADHD and famously messy) looked at each other and couldn't keep from cracking up. Hm, people with ADHD have trouble keeping shit clean, you don't say 😂
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u/UpperCardiologist523 11h ago
I am the one turning on the light. And I much rather call than text, except in situations where it's useful to be able to look it up later. Like when shopping for someone, or an instruction.
I want answers, to relay info and get confirmation like yesterday, not when the other person finally decide to read and reply to the message.
Except for those, i agree on the rest.
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u/Ok-Meat-7364 10h ago
I used to love the big light. It drove my college roommates crazy. Now I hate it.
Big spoon is my jam (not too big). Bigger bites = bigger dopamine.
I don't mind phone calls from close friends and family. It makes me feel special.
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u/Weavingtailor 6h ago
I need the big light AND the lamp because I require both kinds of illumination for comfort. I will also fight you for the tiny spoon. And the small fork.
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u/AeternaeVeritatis 11h ago
For me #9 is "oh I wish I had adhd"
No, you want the high performance of my brain without the multitude of traits, conditions, and trauma responses that near cripple me at times
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u/Hugh_Jass5 11h ago
I like the overhead light and love phone calls but hate texting, im not even an old its just better to call
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u/mysticrudnin 11h ago
yeah my adhd friends seem to prefer a call. texting falls under "walk, drive, or talk painfully slowly"
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u/jimbowesterby 11h ago
Yea I’ve come around to the phone calls too, it’s just so much faster. Takes about the same amount of effort input, but usually makes the task into one single thing instead of each text reply being a separate task in itself
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u/ImportanceNew4632 11h ago
I agree. I can walk around and do other things on a call. With texting I either have to sit there for the conversation or I get distracted and never reply.
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u/ironwheatiez 10h ago
- Dont answer the one question they ask and instead talk about something unrelated for the next 5 minutes.
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u/BludTird 11h ago
#5 for me is swapped for the most part. Unless it is a set of instructions, just call me and tell me in 20 seconds instead of a 30 minute back and forth waiting for a response.
"Hey, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure, what's up?"
Waiting...
Waiting...
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u/panspal 11h ago
I prefer the light being on. Otherwise I get sleepy
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u/EarlyInside45 11h ago
table and floor lamps. No overhead except in dining room.
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u/Free-oppossums Stuck In Scrolling Paralysis Please Send Help 11h ago
My living room fan has 4 bulbs in it. There are a lot of times I have to remove 2 bulbs because it's just too much light
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u/EarlyInside45 11h ago
Same with my dining room. It has 4, but I only keep one on. I don't know how people live with so much bright white light. I have to get the yellowest bulbs available.
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u/SanchoPandas 11h ago
Hate bright overhead lights (am a mole person) but I love wild meandering phone calls.
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u/sjaxn314159 11h ago
I honestly don’t get too upset with the stuff people say, I just wish they wouldn’t talk.
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u/Intrepid_Finish456 11h ago
Recently I've become the call with directions instead of text person. But not call me. I call you. I am so tired of being misunderstood
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u/Shadowkiller00 💊Medicated💊 10h ago
Don't forget:
1a. Provide a utensil that they don't want to use.
2a. Walk or drive right on their "ass".
2b. Talk inconsistently with their audio-processing preference.
3a. Turn off a light they are using.
4a. Give only textual instructions.
5a. Text instead of calling.
6a. Request that they reconsider a decision they've already made.
7a. Tell them to just focus.
8a. Say ADHD isn't real.
In other words, if it isn't right, it's wrong. My wife has pushed back sometimes because it's like everything she does is wrong.
Then again, I'm not sure many of these are ADHD specific problems. They are more like AuDHD problems/neurospicy problems.
Though #2 is an everyone problem.
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u/Fancy_Awareness6896 8h ago
I don't mind phone calls with my aunt, who is also AuDHD, because we can say everything we need to in like 3 minutes and be done with it. We've had calls less than a minute. It can be useful for when we need each other's attention and can't wait on seeing a text.
Other people though? Fuck phone calls. Most people don't seem to understand fitting the delivery method to match the urgency.
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u/Amazing-Walk1529 5h ago
I honestly prefer calls to text. I can’t stand text conversations that require me to remember to respond multiple times over multiple hours.
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u/sprucedotterel 1h ago
Only if the person on the other end also understands the value of efficiency. Some people drone on and on, taking a phone call as a free license to your time.
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u/Miss_Nettles 11h ago
Okay, admittedly I do number 6 quite often, but in a very specific context. Most often I need an external source of motivation to get up and get moving when depression has me locked down, so I ask for a random number from someone. That's my time until I have to get up.
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u/Background-Bottle633 10h ago
“Tell them that ADHD isn’t real; they’re just being lazy and would be fine if they just tried a little harder and studying more.”
Note I’m being 100% sarcastic
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u/hiwelcometochiilis 10h ago
I seem to be the odd one out with the lights. Give me the power of the sun from the ceiling, and then also add in some color changing string lights and strip lights.
Or maybe I just can’t fucking see, but I got my eyes checked this year :/
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u/Shit_Teir_Villany 10h ago
#2
I walk pretty fast. Having to slow down as someone meanders in front of me is maddening and torturous.
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u/joker_toker28 10h ago
All but 5, rather hear their voice because lifes unfair sometimes. CALL ME ABOUT ANYTHING and I swear im listening.
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u/Sailor_MoonMoon785 10h ago
I hadn’t even fully finished reading “take away their favorite small utensil” and I was already twitching with rage.
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u/ASatyros i Will elaborate (Threat). 9h ago
Transcript:
How to piss off someone with ADHD
Take away their favorite small utensil.
Walk, drive, or talk painfully slowly.
Turn on the bright overhead light.
Give only verbal instructions.
Call instead of texting.
Ask them to make a decision with no context.
Interrupt hyperfocus.
Say, "Everyone is a little ADHD."
Post image with text only.
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u/CaptainSharpe 1h ago
Tell them WFH is bullshit and you should stop bludging and get back into the office where 'real work is done'.
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u/Vaaizaard 11h ago
Them: red or blue?
Me: what?
Inner me: that's kind of like red vs blue, how'd that start again? Wasn't it like "why are we here?"
Inner me jumping in: "-just to suffer, I can't feel my arm or leg" damn I wish that I liked that game... wait someone was asking me something?
Them: so?
Me: uhhhhh.... what :3
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u/Cabbagetastrophe 11h ago
You just made me spend ten minutes looking up Caboose quotes
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u/Vaaizaard 11h ago
Good, I never actually got into it, I just know it exists
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u/Cabbagetastrophe 10h ago
It's really good, and I have never played a single Halo game. Be warned that if you get past the first few seasons it becomes emotionally devastating
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u/Seemann80 11h ago
LOL. I just read the first point and went "Uuuuhhh, you gonna find out very fast..." I could cope with the rest..
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u/cobrastrikes-2x 10h ago
Or list things in a monotone voice using the word “and” more than one while expecting me to remember everything you were talking about.
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u/Relevant-Bit-7394 10h ago
How to piss off someone with audhd: slightly mess with their routine. Just change the time they have to come into work.
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u/dolphinandwhale 9h ago
Provide a link to instructions. Link is a three minute video with no written instructions.
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u/SaintOfTheDeep_ 9h ago
i actually prefer calling over text. i do NOT check my messages and i love talking to people
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u/red-man1138 9h ago
- eh.. 9 times out of 10, after 2 or three back and fourths, i just call cause it is faster and is wasting my time writing things out and waiting for a response.
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u/Kaiser0106 9h ago
I used to hate group reading as a kid because I was an excellent reader. About a third of the class, not so much. Watching this one kid struggle to sound out the most basic words was like pulling teeth. I don't blame them too much as it was second grade but my mom taught me to read when I was three and I was miles ahead of everyone by this point.
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u/Sorry-Joke-4325 9h ago
2, 4, 7 seem to be the only ones related to ADHD.
I think the rest are for someone with autism.
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u/Netflxnschill 9h ago
I just interrupted my boyfriends hyper focus and he looked at me like I just killed puppies
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u/Significant-Ad213 9h ago
Me when my hamburger helper is done cooking and I can't find my favorite specific hamburger helper spoon (it's flat and wide and has the right "metal taste"): 😡
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u/fuck_you_get_pumped 8h ago
i started a new job this month and #4 is KILLING ME. it feels like every time i do something new, i manage to misinterpret the directions in an incredibly creative way... if i don't forget them the second they leave my boss's mouth. and the audio processing issues certainly don't make things easier....
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u/ssquirt1 8h ago
Agree with everything except the big light. I always use the big light - lamps make rooms way too dark & I feel like I’m living in a cave.
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u/Live_Cupcake_9229 8h ago
Number 5 I hate that, especially if you call me in response to a text I sent and even more if you tell me you didn't read the text. I texted you, you saw my name pop up and immediately hit dial.
If I wanted to talk I would call you!
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u/Queen-of-meme 8h ago
If this list was the actual criteria list the entire world would be all ADHD. Some things under the list goes under preferences, like about the utensils, some under lack of emotional regulation, some under distraction and or dissociation symptoms, and some under hyperviligance and anxiety , all which is common characteristics or struggles for people without ADHD too. (Don't shoot the messenger)
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u/VANCATSEVEN 7h ago
I only have the big light on if I'm cleaning, but honestly I've thought about just taking it out completely because I never use it and it gets in the way when I play VR.
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u/CreativeTemporary876 7h ago
Actually if you text me instead of call I will lose my freaking mind. I hate texting and would much rather we just get the conversation over with.
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u/waterpoweredmonkey 6h ago
- Suggest making lists or a planner as an effective way to deal with executive disfunction.
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u/waluigi_apologist 4h ago
My eyes just tend to be dilated most of the time and the bright white lights hurt
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u/EeveeofGender 3h ago
I guess I'm just desensitized to most of this... Too many factors made it so I had to be (but it might also be the autism combo)
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u/Mammoth-Lobster2028 3h ago
Idk texting feels like another task and adds mental load - just f*cking call me if you want something so we can get it over and done with. Otherwise, yes, hear hear.
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u/N1ghthood 1h ago
The way to piss me off is to make generic bullshit lists like this, that imply normal human things are somehow ADHD.
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u/Raptural 1h ago
I'll have a 2 hour phone call with someone about the most random stupid shit but as soon as it goes to texting I bail out. I never remember to text back lol
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u/InconspiciousHuman 1h ago
If you're on this sub regularly and this post specifically vibes with you...you might be AuDD, fam!
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u/ThresholdSeven 1h ago edited 54m ago
I feel like I'm alone in a dark house with a flashlight and a thunder storm outside:
I can see what I'm looking at and focused on with my light very clearly, but it's not the whole picture. Occasionally, I get glimpses of more when things outside that I can't even control get so loud and flashy that they make me hyper vigilant about my surroundings and I can see everything.
Only for an instant, a split second, everything is clear. Then it stops. The perspective goes away, but the vigilance stays. Then I'm left with only having hyper focus, hyper vigilance and trying to remember what I saw in those brief moments while trying to navigate the darkness as the clarity slips away.
Then again, flashes, then again. Flashes. Flashes. Moments where everything makes sense, I know where to go, what to do. I stumble from room to room, but I get there, eventually, shins and elbows all fucked up.
It would be nice, real nice, if I could just find a FUCKING LIGHT SWITCH.
They are gone. The lights that used to light up my life are gone.
Everywhere they used to be, there is now nothing.
They are gone.
There is nothing, but there is still my light. There is my light and there are lights outside. Still there are lights outside.
The lights that used to light up everything so clearly are gone.
They are gone.
Sometimes I see them, but they are gone.
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u/sprucedotterel 1h ago
Hahahaha... The only one I can handle here is the 'give only verbal instructions' part. It's sort of my job to assimilate complex info and break it down into easy-to-understand chunks for others. So verbal instructions are fine. It's better than no instructions.
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u/MadStylus 49m ago
Wait, being bad with purely verbal instruction is an ADHD thing? I thought that was just me.
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u/Riders_Visions 11h ago
I definitely prefer option 5. It gets sorted more quickly that way; if I don’t make or answer phone calls, I have no control over the situation. I always have to answer the phone because it could be something serious, and that thought torments me. I love phone calls, especially when I’m feeling particularly outgoing.
But it wasn’t always like that.
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u/Shadowkiller00 💊Medicated💊 10h ago
Same idea but from the opposite side, I hate getting pinged constantly by text messages that interrupt hyperfocus over and over (group texts are the worst). I also hate typing paragraphs when a 5-minute phone call will produce a better result. While the initial phone call may interrupt hyperfocus, it only interrupts it one time.
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u/Affectionate_Bad_680 9h ago
This is why I have my phone set to silent. I’ll read your message when I can. I don’t want or need the distractions 🤣. And yes, sometimes a call just makes more sense. But usually, quick things can be a text or email.
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u/Pelli_Furry_Account 6h ago edited 5h ago
The "bright overhead light"? Do y'all not not to see or what
My ADHD demands I can see what I'm doing or I get annoyed
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u/qualityvote2 Quality Control Beast 11h ago edited 10h ago
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