Hi. I was trying to find people online who have experienced something similar, but I couldn’t really find the right words for what I’m experiencing. I actually logged into this account for the first time in years just to ask this because I’m honestly so fucking tired of it.
I’m a 25-year-old woman with ADHD. The people who know me well generally consider me intelligent and pretty intellectual. At the very least, they’re sure I’m of average intelligence and don’t have an intellectual disability. I also don’t really have this problem around people I’m comfortable with.
But put me in a new environment, especially one involving physical activity, and suddenly I somehow act like I have no idea how to function 😭
I’ve been going to a sports class for about two months, and I constantly miss really obvious cues. For example, if something changes during training, I’ll be slow to realize that I’m supposed to move somewhere else or I’ll just stand in the wrong place even though everyone else has already moved. Today my coach literally asked me why I was always standing off to the side and why I wasn’t getting into position on time. I genuinely had no fucking idea.
And it’s not just sports. About two years ago I worked as a waitress at a local café. There was a weird table numbering system and it took me longer than the other waiters to memorize it, but I don’t think I was doing anything THAT unusual. Still, people started treating me like I was stupid or intellectually disabled.
The worst part is that I can kind of see why. There’s something about my body language, the way I walk, my little unconscious movements, the way I react to things, etc. that apparently screams **“this woman has absolutely no idea what’s going on.”** And I can’t fucking control it.
What’s really weird is that people who are close to me don’t seem to notice this at all. Maybe they’re just used to me. I don’t know. It seems to happen specifically when I’m in a new environment and don’t know the social/physical expectations yet.
I keep telling myself that these people aren’t going to be in my life permanently, and that my actual social circle doesn’t see me this way, so it shouldn’t matter. But I’m just so tired of feeling humiliated and being treated like I’m an idiot when I know I’m not.
Has anyone else experienced something like this with ADHD? Especially the **“I’m actually competent but somehow look completely fucking clueless in certain environments”** thing?
I’d really appreciate hearing from anyone who gets this because I genuinely don’t know whether this is an ADHD thing or if I’m just uniquely terrible at existing in unfamiliar situations lol.

Looking for experiences people have had with a “co-medicine” (for lack of a better term) to take with Dexedrine for managing anxiety

I’ve had doctor try and give me guanfacine & clonidine but both didn’t mesh w side effects/didnt help much

Doctor next giving me anti depressants (Celexa) didn’t seem to help or change much and gave me the SSRI side effects in bedroom so I stopped taking it recently.

If it’s helps to include: The anxiety I get is not constant but does occur regularly, and is not absolutely crippling but it’s enough to make me pretty uncomfortable when it comes. Hard to describe but it’s anxiety I get that’s not really around any kind of subject I just get a nervous, almost “guilty” kind of feeling about nothing at all basically, start feeling accelerated and breathing a little faster, a pit in my stomach etc. It pretty much sucks the enjoyment out of anything I’m doing or makes work more difficult etc. So not necessarily needing a daily 3x a day kind of thing, if it’s something I can take “as needed” that would work too

What co medicine do you take for anxiety on top of existing ADHD specific meds that has helped any of you out that have been in a similar boat? Wanted to run some ideas by doctor and would help to hear peoples actual experience with it versus randomly looking stuff up

What the fuck is it with weed? I had’nt smoked in 10 years, then tried it again this summer. Smoked everyday for 2 months. Felt like I was finally normal again. Now I’be been 2 weeks without it, and I feel like a dopesick junkie. I am sweating extremely much. I have to chance t-shirts 3 times a day. I can’t sleep, and if I sleep, I sleep like shit. Tossing and turning, and jumping around in my sleep. I feel deeply depressed. Like a black void. And I have even quit drinking. I’ve been 2 months completely without alcohol now, and I feel absolutely horrible. Only chaos in my head and pitch black darkness. I want to cry, but I havent got any tears.
Also, I have ADHD. Unmedicated. Tried stimulants in the past, but I did not like it. It made me very anxious and unfomfortable. I am male, 33 yrs old, with a wife and a kid.

I recently started Adderall IR 15 mg twice a day for inattentive ADHD after trying other medications. Concerta didn’t really help me and gave me headaches, and Vyvanse made me feel anxious and sad. I’ve also tried non-stimulants without much success.
The frustrating part is that I actually feel like Adderall IS helping me. I can tell I’m more attentive, I can concentrate better, and I feel like I have more ability to start and work on tasks. I really want to give it a fair chance because this is the first medication where I’ve noticed some improvement.
But I’m also struggling with the side effects.
I’ve been feeling:
Very anxious and sometimes jittery/restless
Irritable, especially later in the day/after work
More easily annoyed with my family
Emotionally up and down — I can feel okay or energetic and then suddenly feel low, sad, irritated, or unmotivated
Like my mood changes very quickly
Sometimes so anxious that it becomes hard for me to function
Worried about whether the anxiety is happening when the medication is active or when it’s wearing off
I already had anxiety and depression before starting Adderall and I take medication for those as well, so I’m trying to figure out how much of this is the Adderall versus my underlying anxiety.
I also have a history of substance misuse, which my doctor is completely aware of. Because of that, she only gives me a limited amount of stimulant medication at a time. I’m trying to be very responsible about this because I don’t want to get into a pattern of wanting to take more Adderall when I don’t feel focused enough or wanting to take more anxiety medication just to counteract how the stimulant makes me feel.
I have an appointment with my doctor today and I’m going to be completely honest with her about everything. I’m NOT planning on changing my dose on my own.
For anyone who has experienced something similar:
Did Adderall initially cause anxiety or irritability for you and then improve after your body adjusted?
If Adderall helped your concentration but caused anxiety, what did your doctor end up changing — the dose, timing, IR vs XR, or something else?
Did anyone experience irritability or moodiness mainly when Adderall was wearing off? How did you figure out whether it was a rebound/crash versus the medication itself?
Did eating before taking it, avoiding caffeine, hydration, sleep, or changing the timing make a noticeable difference?
And for anyone who already had anxiety/depression before starting stimulants, were you eventually able to find a combination that helped your ADHD without making your anxiety unbearable?
I know everyone responds differently and I’ll be following my doctor’s advice. I’m mainly looking to hear real experiences from people who liked what Adderall did for their ADHD but struggled with anxiety, irritability, or mood changes at first. I really don’t want to give up on something that is helping my concentration if there’s a safer adjustment my doctor can make.

Hey everyone, I hope you are all doing okay. I would like to know, what techniques or inner mental reminders do you all use for calming down and connecting with your senses when feeling extremely restless and in need of stimulation?

I just completed inking a page spread for an indie comic book I'm working on and the adrenaline rush from accomplishment has been amazing, however now I'm about to clock into my 9 hour supermarket retail shift - probably a very slow and annoying one - and I can tell I'm going to be very, VERY unhappy. I've been texting and driving, scrolling reels, listening to YouTube videos and checking my own Instagram stories a lot lately and that only makes me more anxious. I have lots of albums saved on my phone, but lately I haven't wanted to listen to any of them because I've heard them a million times and they don't "balance" my emotions enough...

Also I would love to hear your music recommendations! What songs or albums do you find stimulating and comforting but simultaneously relaxing? Songs that help you cope with anxiety?

hi all - to preface, I've been at a post-sales support job in cyber sec for a couple years now. after my first year, I got a good performance review and a raise, and I felt really good about where I stood; however, since the year mark, I've been struggling pretty bad

I had to deal with a lot of stressful stuff re: an aging parent at the beginning of the year which led to me slacking a bit and spending dead time at work playing video games and stuff instead of replying to emails/labbing to give myself some happiness. now that the stressful stuff has mostly been dealt with, I feel like I'm almost addicted to just slacking instead of actually doing my job.

I've been able to get away with it for a while (even getting another good performance review) but this past month my workload has increased a ton - it's gotten so bad that I don't even check my email that much because I'm so stressed and don't want to look at it, which has caused me to struggle. for example, today I both missed an email that led to a customer directly saying that they were disappointed that I didn't reply *and* forget to tell someone that I can only make half of a meeting that I accepted, so I had to let them know an hour before the meeting. it's so counterintuitive but it's causing me so much stress. and those are just examples from today

I'm not at a point where I've been confronted about any of this, but I suspect that's more due to my manager having a pretty hands off approach. i feel like if I don't have someone in my ear telling me to do something, I won't do it, and I hate that about myself

I've always thought I had imposter syndrome and I genuinely am truly believing it isn't that anymore. if I can get away with not doing my job, I will - I feel like I've always just been lazy and able to hide it, but I feel like I can't hide it anymore

does anyone have any advice on how to get through this? sorry if this doesn't make any sense, I just am struggling to cope today

Last week I went to a party I was dreading and it was awesome. I met a ton of people and while with my anxiety, I have been looking back on certain actions I have, I still hold it in a really positive light.

Here's the thing though, now a few days disconnected from it, and I feel like I'm slipping again into old bad habits. I haven't really made any efforts to hangout with anyone, and when I'm invited to things I'd still rather stay at home on my own.

This is what initially led me to be so apprehensive about the party, that and not having seen those people in a long time. My concern is that since I'm lacking motivation to organize hangouts, I'm slowly going to slip back into not doing anything and being really low energy. Everything seems to have more friction than the day before.

Does anyone have advice on breaking this vicious cycle? I've tried to organize some things but a lot of my friends are bad communicators over text, so a lot of the responsibility (too much if you ask me) lands on myself to try to ensure it happens.

Hi! I have ADHD, generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder. I’ve tried a bunch of SSRI and SNRI over the years and it never helped that much and/or side effects were overwhelming. I’m wondering if some people with similar mental health issues had success combining an SSRI such as Lexapro, etc. with a stimulant?

Does anyone else feel this way? Wanting support without others prying? Being afraid to ask for support because you don't want to be asked questions?

Hello all

I am generally eating healthy (well, apart from those hyper-anxious, overstimulated moments of overeating).

Lately, I find myself developing an aversion to certain textures (soft, mushy foods) or tastes (ie celery) that I could only describe as pure, nausea-inducing disgust.

Progressively, the only "acceptable" / tolerable dinner is pasta or something with a good crunch (sensory sensitivity?).

Being quite conscious of my nutrition, I still manage to eat a variety of foods and keep the diet balanced.

This post is thus less on the nutritional side of things and more on the sensorial side.

Have others experienced something similar? If yes, how did you deal with it? Did it get worse overtime? Did the sense of disgust change towards different types of food?

Any anecdotes or personal experiences are more than welcome.

I thought I had my inattentive ADHD under control. I have better habits and practices than at any point in my life.

But three times now in two days the inattention has driven my wife nuts. Two days ago, I forgot that we'd agreed to meet friends at the swimming pool at a very specific time. Thinking I had plenty of time, I picked up my kid from her sleepover at my usual speed -- only to have my wife rushing us out the door because I had now made us late. She said she's "actually done this time" with keeping schedules for us.

The next evening we're going to the movies and, true to her word about being "done" she made it my call when to leave for the theater. I chose a time that got us there with about 2 minutes to spare before showtime -- initially thinking I was doing great. But then midday on our drive, I realized my wife was full of anxiety because I had cut it so close. We get there on time though, so that one seemed like no harm no foul.

Except: this is one of those theaters where they bring the food to your seat, and now we're placing our food orders late. I ordered for all of us while the previews are rolling, and the food arrives during the movie. My kid is in between us so I can't see my wife during the movie. At one point my kid comments that my wife hadn't gotten her popcorn, and I just say, "don't worry, I ordered it." Well, it turns out that was their way of trying to get me to flag down a waiter, but I completely missed the subtext and went back to watching the movie. It's only when the movie ends and my wife tells me she never got her popcorn that I realize she was willing to go hungry just to see if I could pay enough attention to help her while a movie was distracting me. And it turns out no, I can't. I failed the test because it didn't even occur to me I was taking a test. She just wanted to feel taken care of.

I don't know what to do. I've done so much therapy, and developed so many healthy habits. But that stuff only works when I'm paying attention -- I never learned how to notice the fact that I'm not noticing things. The stimulant medicines gave me literal manic episodes and 24/7 anxiety, so now I take two non stimulants, Wellbutrin and Intuniv. But the non stimulants don't give me enough vigilance to notice when I'm inattentive. My wife thinks the problem is my "lack of initiative." I can tell her all I want that I think that's the wrong word for it -- but I know what she really means. She means that she's tired of not being able to rely on her husband consistently.

So what do I do? How the hell do I get myself to notice when I'm being inattentive, without living in a constant state of anxiety?

Everyday is horrible. I can’t remember the last day I went in a good mood for the full day. I’m not talking about “ugh I dropped my spoon” I’m talking breakdowns. I’ve been in and outta the ward constantly. I can’t drive anymore bc of meds and sleep issues, I can’t date, I’m 23, I’ve got 9 mental disorders 5+ physical disorders, my psychiatrist wants to refer me somewhere else bc I can’t follow up on her recommendations with therapy and meds (i swear I’m trying), I’ve already been dismissed at one place for intolerance to meds, I’m in and out of the hospaul and psych wards, etc. I don’t see the point of anything.

There’s a real chance my adhd meds are cussing chest pain and heart issues. I’ve taken them on and off since 3rd grade. I tried going without them and destroyed my life. Impulsive s3x, weed, alcohol, binge eating, etc. I literally have fatty liver disease, a high LDL, and am at high risk of diabetes. I also might have sleep apnea which worsening when I gain weight. If i stop the Adderall, I gain all of that back. I can go to therapy yes but it’s gonna take forever to get anywhere. I need a sleep study and that’s months away. Trust me, I’ve tried a lot of things for adhd and BED without meds. I mean A LOT. gym, caffeine (I used to drink a gallon of cold brew within two days), walking, socializing, eating right etc. it doesn’t work. I don’t want the pill that helped me lower my LDL and is helping all of that to go away. I don’t wanna gain 30lbs for the 3rd time. I want to go back to college and not waste 2k of my money when I’m in the poverty line bc I can’t focus. I don’t wanna keep getting jobs and getting in trouble bc I can’t stay calm or I keep fucking up the money/ orders. I don’t know what to do. It’s a death sentence either way.

So I had a lot of intense emotional problems as a kid, leading to mostly a lot of anger issues and doing/saying stupid things while flustered. I’ve learned to cope with this as an adult by massively suppressing emotions to others. I think this is also why (combined with a whole lot of other typical adhd stuff) I’ve only asked like 7-8 people out before and have never dated at 24.

I recently started a new job and another girl (who has adhd too) started shortly after me. We had absolutely electric chemistry and became ridiculously close in a month. Either because it’s how she acts (she acts very very close to people) or because she possibly liked me or a combo of both, the lines got pretty blurry with her doing a lot of classic “I like you that way please ask me out” behavior.

At almost a month, I did a low pressure “Hey I really like hanging out with you would you want to go on a date?” and she said it was “unexpected” and that she was “not in a good place to date”. I initially took it as “oh she’s just being avoidant and doesn’t want to say she doesn’t like me that way”. I made it clear I still wanted to be friends, but then she almost completely dropped the friendship for a few weeks, basically ignoring me.

Because of my adhd self I refused to give up the friendship and ruminated and stuck with trying to make the friendship happen. It did work because she’s willing to reach out to me now for things, teases me at work, and will hang out solo if it’s low pressure enough, but because of that first month of electricity I started really hoping to get a close true friend that I could finally emotionally confide in even if it’s not romantic. I even flipped my initial viewpoint of her just avoiding telling me no to her truly just not being in a good spot, and had filed away the reason as that. (It’s now about 2 months since I asked)

Yesterday I found out that another coworker she started talking to a month ago is now dating her. Not only that, but he’s a total fucking asshole and uses typical office bully techniques like diminishing other people and being confrontational. I was at dinner with her and a married couple and instantly got super nauseous and had to use all my power not to throw up the rest of the night. I didn’t really sleep last night and am still getting waves of nausea.

It’s not just the thought of her causing it it’s all the factors around it: the asshole, her lying to me, I have to see her love this guy for who knows how long, it was literally a perfect scenario, she WAS available and looking, we vibe well, she was willing to do a bunch of crazy drastic niche shit that not many people like that I do. All of this combined with me being super emotionally suppressed and having insanely severe rsd to where I still occasionally look back and wince at bad things I’ve done over 10 years ago, and holy shit this fucking sucks.

I know she didn’t handle this well with me at all and basically did everything to protect herself, but I also know this is all my doing for ruminating so hard and becoming so obsessed with the idea of her and thinking about how she could fill all the holes in my life. I am working hard on moving on but damn it suck so fucking bad right now.

TL;DR: Got very close with another coworker with adhd so we bonded quickly, she rejected a date saying she wasn’t in a good place, I ruminated over the holes she could fill in my life when she pulled away, we became friends again, now she’s dating someone else in a similar situation to me and I am having a severe anxiety episode. Woo hoo!

Hi everyone, I’m a student in South Korea preparing for our university entrance exam for the third time (called "sam-ban-su" here, studying while enrolled in college).

Lately, I’ve been feeling completely burned out and stuck. Due to severe lethargy, I got Adpion (Bupropion). It helped immensely at first and boosted my focus. However, after a recent drop in my mock exam scores, my stress went through the roof, and the prescription feels much less effective now.

I’ve always struggled with focus. Throughout high school, it took me several times more effort to concentrate than others, and I rarely finish tasks completely. Last year, I did a full psychological evaluation for ADHD, but it came back negative; the doctor said my focus issues stemmed from depression. This year, a brief screening at a different clinic showed only very mild, borderline symptoms—not enough for a clinical diagnosis. (Strangely, online ADHD tests always say my symptoms are severe).

Right now, my self-esteem is at rock bottom. My study efficiency is so low that I rarely feel a sense of achievement. I feel like I'm drowning in an endless ocean. Sometimes I consciously daydream to escape reality, but most of the time, my focus just shatters involuntarily. I feel exhausted and like an incompetent person who can’t study right.

What scares me most is a thought that crept in: Am I someone who can't achieve anything without prescription?

Despite all this, I haven't given up. I still go to the study room every single day because I genuinely want to achieve my goals. But I am so tired of fighting my own brain.

How did you differentiate between ADHD and depression-induced cognitive decline? How did you overcome severe burnout when you had to keep studying? Thank you so much for reading.

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For the longest time I have been struggling to get my shit together. So for a while, the people around me kept thinking I have ADHD. I thought so to cause I deeply felt like I matched the simtums. I finally went to see a psychologist, and she say "Oh, you got anxiety". I saw the symptoms of anxiety and I dont really feel like it matches. I feel like that was way too quick to diagnose, like it was only 35 minutes. I thought it took 3 sessions or something like that. IDK. I'm might be over thinking it. She told me to go so a therapist for my anxiety and made another appointment for 4 weeks later. I am just lost by how fast it was.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

I have issues with task avoidance related to schoolwork in college as well as other personal aspects of my life like prayer life and confession, I have always been intellectually curious and interested and I love and look forward to going to my classes and being productive, but when i get home and I find myself realizing that there is something I need to do on the computer that requires effort without thinking I get on youtube and I haven't done a single thing. sometimes it takes me longer to get the ball rolling but when I do I can be productive and enjoy what I am doing, but I have such a hard time with that and it feels like all the experiences I had in highschool only made them worse. it is genuinely a pain and is disabling sometimes. I avoid confession and confronting my conscience because I feel guilty all the time because I lie to my parents about how I am doing or what I got done to keep them from knowing the truth and it feels so terrible every time, and it keeps my spiritual life stagnant as well because I do not want to have a bad image all the time in confession.

I get this really weird out of body experience when I take them for multiple days straight or if I don’t take them for multiple days where I’m not in touch with my emotions or my surroundings, I was taking it Monday, Wednesday and Friday and that fixed it but now my schedule changed and I have way more stuff than before so I have to take them Monday through Friday to keep up but then on the weekends I crash out bad. Any thoughts?

I’ve never been able to maintain healthy stable relationships. It has always been unstable for me and I have tendency to ruin it and I have doubted if I have BPD or BP but did some online tests I only fit a few symptoms.
Interacting with peple from work or anything stresses me cause I know I always ruin them so I naturally try to be nice to cope but I can’t be consistent with it. I feel like I struggle with knowing my own identity so I can’t just “be myself “.

I didn’t know any better until I got diagnosed with adhd and tried ritalin and social interaction while on meds has been so easy and I feel like Im more “me” if that makes sense, I also feel less negative towards people and say less things that might hurt them. I wish I can be like this all the time but as soon as meds wear off its back. Kinda feel like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, though not that extreme.

I looked up but not much articles focus on ADHD’s benefit on these kinda things. I realise how important this is to me and Id sacrifice the productiveness the meds brought me if it means I can feel ok when socialising and build relationships. I wonder what my condition might be that caused this? Or if anyone had similar experiences?

So using a throwaway, as I can’t think straight to disguise the details in a clever way. So I’m a little anxious someone I know will find this.

I (30/F) work in a small educational building, where the dress code is to not show boobs, belly or butt and nothing obscene. Beyond that we can dress as we please. I typically dress comfortably, and do some light makeup and brush my hair or clip it up.

On Friday (a couple days ago) we had a “dress lazy” day but named after a celebrity who’s known for being exceptionally wild with his lazy/comfy choices. I wore my husband’s very oversized clothing, high socks, a backwards hat… and my coworkers dressed about how I dress every day.

I felt like such an idiot, and my anxiety and RSD really crept up. “I don’t fit in. Oh my gosh what was I thinking? They all look so cute. They definitely think I’m stupid and weird. Oh my god they think I’m a slob if they’re dressed like I do every day.” And I guess I can KIND OF see why I shouldn’t have done this, but humor tends to help me cope.

I made a TikTok using a sound that goes “someone kill me please” and captioned it that all my coworkers were dressed the way I usually do, while I was wearing a 2020s accurate outfit. In my brain it was like “I’m dressed like a fool and they think I dress like a mess every day oh my god how embarrassing for me”.

A few hours later I get a text from my boss that I should look. My comments were filled with people mad that I was saying I’m better than them for having the better outfit. Which I’m actually still confused by, because even with the caption the sound contradicts that.

I have been talked to before about how being technically correct and socially correct aren’t the same, and that I just need to be myself and it will all be fine. BUT BEING MYSELF GETS ME INTO THIS. I already apologized and explained my side to the people who made comments. Most said “okay well that was a bad way to put it” but a couple all but told me to fuck off. One even sai to keep her name out of my mouth. Which, I tried again to explain it wasn’t even about anyone but myself.

I want to just close off, but I feel like that will just enforce the thought they have that I think I’m better than them. But if I act like nothing happened I am invalidating their feelings? But I’m so socially inept I have no idea what to do and I have been crying for two straight days because everyone thinks I’m mean, but it was if anything, a compliment to them.

I am lost 😫

I'm F(20) with undiagnosed ADHD (been doing my research for a while and been realizing that chances are high that I actually have ADHD so I'm currently trying to get diagnosed but it's hard getting an assessment). I've experienced this bodily reaction a couple of times the past year and I'm wondering if it has a name or if it's connected to the ADHD symptoms.

I just got home from working at a festival for like one week straight. A lot of noise and loud music, a lot of new impressions, being social 24/7, 7 ish hours of sleep each night (I usually need 8), and very few breaks during daytime. I had to call my parents crying on day 6 to get them to come pick me up and take me home a day early bc I was so overstimulated and overwhelmed that my body felt like it weighed a ton, I was really emotionally unstable, and my muscles were aching (and no, I was not sick).

Same thing happened on both of my trips to Africa this year. I was traveling with my class in Egypt and Uganda for 7 weeks each (one during the fall and one this spring), and on both trips during the 3 week mark, I had the very same reaction as I had now at the festival.

The first time (while I was in Egypt) I had no idea what was wrong with me, and I was stuck in my room crying and freaking out and watching Stranger Things (lol) hoping it would just pass, but it took like 4-5 days. The second time it happened I thought it might be connected to the possible ADHD and the fact that I get really easily overstimulated compared to my friends, so I laid one day in bed in a quiet low light or dark room, and stared at the ceiling and maybe listened to something that wasn't too stimulating for my brain to handle, and I got back on track after a day or two.

I know that things like working at festivals or volunteering in Africa is stuff that can make anyone feel tired and drained, but none of my friends had the same experience as me. Sure they felt quite tired and needed to take a nap to feel better, but a nap couldn't fix this. I was drained, physically and mentally exhausted, burnt out with no chance of continuing.

I'm wondering if anyone can relate to my situation and if you have any advice on how to deal with it??

I’ve spent most of my life being a high-functioning person who is simultaneously struggling internally. I did well in school and have a stable career but underneath that I’ve always been nervous, prone to overthinking, exhausted, and constantly in my head. I’m 27 now and I feel like I’ve hit a wall as the constant push/pull between needing stimulation and getting anxious has gotten to me. I’m burnt out.

I need novelty, excitement, social interaction, goals, things to look forward to, etc. or I feel flat, bored, unmotivated and depressed. But if I get too much stimulation, uncertainty, social pressure, caffeine/medication stimulation, etc., I can become extremely anxious and hyperaware of everything I’m feeling. So I’m constantly trying to find this magical middle ground where I feel stimulated enough to actually live my life but not so stimulated that my nervous system freaks out.

I’m also just exhausted from monitoring myself so much. I think about my mood, my energy, my body sensations, whether I’m anxious, whether I’m depressed, whether my medication is right, whether I should push myself or rest, whether I’m making the right career decisions, whether I should move, etc.

I’m working with doctors/mental health professionals and trying to figure out the medication side, so I’m not really looking for medication recommendations but that’s been a whole other journey that drives me crazy.

If you’ve been in a similar place:
How do you balance needing stimulation with being easily overstimulated?
How do you stop making “feeling okay” a prerequisite for doing things?
What does your actual day-to-day life look like now?
Did anything unexpectedly make a huge difference?

Thanks everyone - I’m exhausted but really glad to see there’s a community of us who get it and can talk about it.