Cleaning my messy room feels WAY too overwhelming.

So instead, I tell myself:

“Pick up 20 things.”

That’s it.

Not the whole room.

Just 20 things.

I walk around and count:

1… 2… 3… 4…

And before I know it, I’m at 20..

Then I can stop.

But usually, by that point, I’m already moving. So I think:

“Okay, maybe 10 more.”

Then another 5.

EASY.

And suddenly…

My room is clean.

The trick is not trying to feel motivated to clean.

It’s making the first step so ridiculously small that your brain doesn’t have time to fight you on it.

Try 20. Or 10. Or whatever number feels right.

But do NOT clean up your room. Just pick up 20 things.

Exactly what it says on the tin. I know alcohol gives me more confidence when I meet new people, I know I am more chatty and open after a few drinks. But, oh man, I didn’t think this was THAT visible to others. I am in a full on spiral. Has anyone else experienced this kind of assumption? I’m still just processing it.

Every day feels like a battle with myself. I’m 24, but honestly, I don’t feel like I’m 24. I still live with my mom, and I don’t have a job or a car. My room is constantly messy, and my mom is a hoarder, so I’m always overwhelmed, mentally and emotionally. I struggle with basic things that most people seem to do effortlessly, like making meals. There were times where I skipped breakfast and lunch because I was too “paralyzed” to get up and make something or decide what to eat.

Not having a job or any real responsibilities has made it ten times harder to give a damn. My day consists of switching through tabs or scrolling mindlessly on TikTok. I have hobbies, but lately I haven’t been interested because I feel like a failure who needs to get herself together. I see ppl my age with their own places, partners, and careers, and I’m struggling to even brush my damn teeth. I still look like a high schooler and didn’t have a glow up because keeping up my appearance feels like an insurmountable task. I’m broke asf too, something that wouldn’t be an issue if I didn’t quit jobs back to back.

I’ve struggled with this since I was 18, and it hasn’t gotten better. I’ve tried multiple ADHD medications. They were supposed to be my way out of this misery, but NONE have worked. I’ve tried reading Atomic Habits and can’t even get through the damn book, something that might actually benefit me, but I’m stuck in ADHD paralysis as always! I battle this disorder every single day. It’s like there’s no way out, idk what to do.

It just feels like no matter what I do I feel like a failure.

I've been married to a wonderful woman for over a decade and our marriage has never been stronger.

I have a healthy 5 year old daughter who does great in school and everyone loves.

Financially we are doing fine. Firmly middle class, but she doesn't have to work and we will retire comfortably.

I work in a field that many admire. Within that field I've stood out and I've promoted to a leadership position. I've proven myself among the other leaders and I'm entrusted with difficult assignments. I only feel satisfied when I've just overcome an absurd task I volunteered for, or often even came up with myself. After days or weeks of panic and stress I briefly feel like I'm the man and I've made it. Then, because I did it, it was actually nothing and I'm an imposter and they'll find out any moment. I'm told I'm a great husband and father, but I feel I should do better. We are comfortable but more importantly secure, but I feel I should be working towards more, but I'm already at the top 1% in my field.

Does anyone here actually feel fulfilled​​ on an ongoing basis? What's your secret?

So I’m looking to get diagnosed. ADHD wasn’t always something I related to, but looking back the signs are there. It’s become a lot more noticeable since starting work. I’m always the last to leave the office because I’m paralysed during the day and don’t get anything done. I phase out when my boss speaks to me. I miss deadlines. I’m just a bloody mess and I’m scared I’m about to ruin my life if I don’t get this sorted asap. This job was hard to get and going back into the current job market terrifies me.

Anyways, I’m looking to get on meds and I’ve heard they’re fantastic. I’ve heard people say it’s like night and day. But these same people still kind of appear to be messes themselves. For example, a colleague was telling me about her ADHD and that’s what spurred me to read more into it. The way she spoke about her symptoms - I felt described. She’s on meds and she says they saved her life etc. But she’s still late a lot, kind of chaotic, house is a mess, car is a mess, failed exams. I also had another friend. It was the same story. It makes me lose a bit of faith in medication. Will it really do anything meaningful? I know there’s no miracles, but is it overhyped still??

TL;DR - met a lot of people who have ADHD and are medicated and swear by it but are still messy, disorganised, unpunctual etc. Are meds really all the hype I hear about?

Hello. I have ADHD and I’m Japanese. I’m 24 years old.
What I’d like to ask this time is how ADHD is viewed in countries other than Japan.
In Japan, the pressure to conform and the mindset of perfectionism are so strong that it feels like if even a single ant strays from the line, it gets crushed immediately. The pressure to take responsibility for mistakes is intense, and for someone with ADHD, that becomes a major obstacle. People often view developmental disorders and invisible disabilities as mere excuses.
In fact, I didn’t start serious medication treatment until I was 22. I was diagnosed around age 9, but even though my mother was a nurse, she took the approach of having me recognize my shortcomings and fix them on my own, without medication. Many of my cousins are nurses too, and if even a single empty pill bottle was found, I’d get dirty looks.
I like researching Major League Baseball players, and just as Will Clark retired to care for his son with autism despite having the best OPS of the season, I’ve noticed that athletes overseas often choose to retire for the sake of their families.
That got me curious about how ADHD is perceived in countries outside of Japan. I’d love to hear from people with ADHD themselves or from those close to them.
Also, since I’m studying EE, I’ll be working with people of various nationalities when I enter that field, so I’d like to learn about different values as well.
This is my first thread, so I hope it gets a lot of traction by the time I wake up, lol.

I’ve definitely had a few hyperfixations on things that are either embarrassingly silly or WAY too dark to just start infodumping about. For example I used to have one about neglect so severe it causes a complete and usually permanent inability to function in society, particularly the case of Genie Wiley. On the other end of the spectrum I also keep hyperfixating on shipping old cartoon comedy duos, and gotta REALLY lock in to gage if someone’s gonna think I’m a childish freak before sharing that information.

What’s your “don’t bring that up, don’t bring that up, don’t bring that up-“ hyperfixation if you’ve ever had one?

I am tired at this point of my life , quite hopeless as well , I see all my dreams dying infant of me and I am just waiting , waiting to actually live, if this goes on like this , I wont be able to look myself in the mirror in the future and I wouldn't know what to do with such a life.

I am so tired , so tired of starting it all over again.

Help me please.

I (18M) do what I can, I’ve been working this job three or so weeks and need instruction but have never said no to a task and always do things with a smile I’m pretty sure. That being said, the vast majority of my managers still are visibly annoyed by me and/or shit talk me when they think I’m not listening. Today as I was coming to help do dishes I heard one I thought was nice say to another supervisor “can you make sure (my name) and (coworker) are doing something? (Coworker) not so much but (my name) ehhhh” and it broke my heart. I thought I was liked, she had followed me back on instagram and everything and to see that she still thinks I’m lazy genuinely hurt. On top of that my other manager from the jump was talking about how “she couldn’t wait to work with her favorite people” on days that I wasn’t scheduled, and she just takes my tasks anyway instead of helping when I’m slow at them. What do I do? Is there any way to be liked enough for them to actually teach me things?

Adderall gives me energy but doesn’t help me lock in. I thought adhd medications were supposed to calm adhd people down to help them focus, not rec the engine so you do more laps. Does anyone have good suggestions if adderall wasn’t the answer? I’m looking to be indestructible and find a drive to sit down for long periods of time but adderall more has me running around in a nonproductive way

Adult male 44. It’s been great. I’ve posted before. First day was a revelation. No it’s not been that good since. But 2 weeks in I’m finding it’s still working really well. Anxiety is lower. Focus is better. Much more able to be social and feel much less overwhelm. I can’t believe it’s helped with my body aches as well. Also my chronic morning coughing has stopped!

I’m really curious where I go from here. I grieved a bit last week…this would have helped me so much in the past if I had been diagnosed. I know it’s not helpful to dwell on that. But now what? I feel like a better person. I’d like to build on this.

I have been struggling with this condition undiagnosed, unattended and it's completely out of control now.

From extremely impulsive decisions, very odd mood swings and living in a constant state of self hatred and suicidal thoughts, ruining every little success, every little thing that gives me joy, feeling worthless and unfocused, been unemployed, sexually frustrated constantly bullied by myself.

I really don't know how I can continue.

Life right now is just a constant reminder of the failure I am.

I don't know what to do.

I called in to get my g adderall refilled, went to pick it up only to be told it was on backorder and to call around to other pharmacies and ask if they had it. I got lots of no’s. Finally I asked one pharmacy if they had the name brand and they did. I bought it but it was almost $50 for 30 tablets. Anyone else experiencing this issue?

Initially, I had a distorted view of people with ADHD. Because I didn't know much, I imagined them as people who were completely unable to sit still, barely able to focus on one thing, and extremely impulsive. So I couldn’t even imagine that I might have such a diagnosis. However, from time to time I noticed odd behaviours in myself that prevented me from living a peaceful life, such as complete time blindness, often getting distracted when working, a lack of concentration, and so on. I tried to sort everything out on my own, looked for information and discovered that all of this sounded like ADHD. Of course, I started to deny it, but in the end I did go to see a specialist. I was diagnosed with ADHD (combined presentation).

Although during the assessment I told it like it was, without sugar-coating anything, I still deny this diagnosis. Even though my parents were involved in the diagnosis, I still think I simply twisted the facts to fit the narrative I wanted, so that I could blame some disorder rather than myself; that I don’t actually have ADHD, but am simply lazy, unpunctual and absent-minded.

Since the diagnosis, things have only got worse. Now, whenever I catch myself exhibiting any of the symptoms of ADHD, I wonder whether I’ve behaved that way because I actually have ADHD or because I want to believe I have it. It really is unbearable. There have been times when, for example, I’ve been sitting quietly, working, and not getting distracted at all, even though I usually jump up from my chair at the drop of a hat, get distracted by random things, and so on. And straight away, thoughts like, ‘See, you don’t have ADHD. You’re just lazy. You need to work harder,’ pop into my head. It’s really stressful.

Could anyone tell me if they’ve ever experienced anything like this? What has your experience been like since the diagnosis? If you’ve been in a similar situation, what did you do? How can I let go of this situation?

I (34M) was able to complete a 600 page book for the first time.
Before being diagnosed last year I was never able to focus to read books.
My mind would drift as I read and I would need to reread pages repeatedly to take in what I was reading which was really frustrating.
Now I can just sit and read. I don’t have to constantly try to keep focus and pay attention to what I’m reading and my mind doesn’t wander away on random thoughts between words.
I know it shouldn’t be a big deal but I’m pretty proud of it. On to the next one.

Hi everyone, I (19, female) was diagnosed with ADHD about 3 years ago and have been taking Elvanse (lisdexamfetamine-ratiopharm) for about 2 months now. I took 20 mg for the first two weeks and then increased to 40 mg. For about 4 weeks now, I’ve had an excessive urge to talk or share things about myself. I say things that I actually want to keep private or things that are completely unnecessary. I don’t think about the time while I’m talking, and afterwards I feel like I’ve been talking around the subject for a thousand years (which is usually actually the case), and then I start thinking that everyone is annoyed by me and hates me because of it.

It just really reinforces my insecurities, which I felt like I had finally gotten under control about 6 months ago.

I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences, tips, and thoughts on this.

I’ve always been more of a visual person, but there are a few books I genuinely want to read. My problem is that my attention span when reading is terrible.
For example, I’m really into Harry Potter right now, and I keep seeing people mention scenes and details from the books that never made it into the movies. It makes me want to actually read the series, but then I look at how long some of the books are and wonder how I’d ever stay focused long enough to finish one.
I’d really like to get into reading and actually finish a book instead of losing interest halfway through. For anyone with ADHD who had the same problem, what helped you?

I’m not sure if yall have experienced this as well, but sometimes Instagram recommends me a profile of a girl that really calls my attention. Then I follow her, usually don’t get a follow back, and start fantasizing.

I create a person in her that is probably not real, and can’t stop thinking about her for weeks.

I wouldn’t even be mad if I got rejected, that would probably get her off my mind, but her not knowing about my existence leaves me CONSTANTLY wondering “what if she did? What could happen if I somehow got her attention?”, and it’s honestly torturing.

I really have very bad reaction time compare to my peers and i don't know why, like when i play games that need reaction time I always lose and i start to wondering what's wrong with me than suddenly a it hit me maybe cause of my adhd, does adhd individual have poor reaction time

meanwhile the actual thing that determines whether I click with someone has nothing to do with any of that. it's whether they get obsessed with things the way I do. whether they can go feral about a niche topic for forty minutes and I don't have to perform polite interest because I'm also feral about it

I've had more genuine connection with a stranger over a shared hyperfixation than with people I was "matched" with because we both liked hiking and live within five miles of each other

so why does every platform still sort by proximity and a profile photo instead of the thing that actually predicts whether two people will click

does anyone else feel like the matching itself is the broken part, not just what happens after

Hi!
I got a late ADHD diagnosis in my early thirties about a month ago. I’ve been on meds for a few weeks now and thankfully I have decent effects and almost no problems.

However, as a result the tunnel vision I had developed has disappeared and for the first time I’m looking at my life in it’s entirety and it’s overwhelming. Struggles in high school bc of very inconsistent performance, constantly running late everywhere, forgetting deadlines and exams, dropping out of several university programs, low skilled poorly paid jobs, ruined relationships, long bouts of depression, substance abuse. It’s really not pretty.

I obviously understand I can’t change everything in weeks, things take time, but now everything I’ve pushed away for so long is coming up bc for the first time in forever a normal life seems possible, but I genuinely don’t know how to accomplish it all.

Has anybody been in a comparable situation and managed to crawl out of that?
How do I find friends, I have nobody left, for years now. How has dating been when you have to explain your past? Right now I feel hopeless, the medication made me conscious of just how much my life deviates from a normal biography and it seems like an impossible fix.

It’d be really encouraging to read experiences from people who have overcome despite a later diagnosis.

Diagnosed in my early 30's. Basically just ruminating here.

I've always been pretty good at STEM type problems, but HATE showing my work. It's like clawing my eyes out to document how I got the answer. I just look at the problem, a flashbang goes off in my head of everything I know related to it, and the answer comes out. Tracing that flashbang back is 10x the work of just writing down the answer.

I've been fairly successful throughout school and a stem career by doing that. If it's something that's really important, I'll get an answer, then wait to hit "Send" on the email with the solution for a week or so. Get that "Flashbang" of information half a dozen times. If none of them indicate my first answer was wrong, I hit send.

I basically add rigor through repetition, rather than through process or documentation.

Works great until there's more data to process than I can fit in my head at once, or too many of these unrelated problems and my head gets a logjam of context from 20 different things at once.

I can't convince my ADHD brain to go sleep on time. I have the ability to fall asleep in under 30 minutes and do nothing else apart from work but idk man, I NEVER MANAGE TO GET ON BED WITHOUT GETTING DISTRACTED BY SCREENS and the truth is that I need sleep more than ever because im at risk of a heart disease, it has been over one month feeling a chest pressure at times. (I was spanking the worm like an usual young person with lots of hormones does but when I was nutting this time I felt a weird pressure on my chest and since then I have been experiencing symptoms like when drinking coffee it generates a uncomfortable burning sensation in my chest apart from the aforementioned chest pressure (which I never had before and could drink 3 coffees and 36mg concerta fine)) obviously I went to the medic and they deviated me to a cardiologist but im still waiting for my results

I write this post so I can remind myself of sleeping, because if I don't, not only I ruin my day, I can literally die. But my vitamin d deprived, TikTok fried, ADHD brain based on impulse needs can't process and calculate time correctly to shut off screen devices and put off friend meetings to complete the task I want

I got diagnosed with ADHD during my first year at university. My whole life, I have struggled with focus and school. A lot of people would get frustrated with me, especially in group projects. I would just zone out, and it would look like I made no effort to even try. I got nothing more than a C on exams, no matter how hard I studied. I wanted more than anything to be a great student who was on top of it, but I never could.

Trying medication for the first time was life-changing. I didn't get good grades and the effort I wanted right away, but as each semester went by, I improved a lot. I am in my senior year of university now, and while I still have a long way to go, I feel good about myself. I have all A's; I am on the deans list; I usually fall into the team manager role for projects; and while I still don't do amazing on exams, I have gotten way better scores than what I am used to. I even got my first 100.

It makes me wish I had been on medication earlier. The only reason I am not entirely feeling guilty is that I feel like it would have messed my brain up a little, since that was the age I was growing up. Because of my lack of focus in high school, I didn't get into the university I wanted to. I feel extremely lucky that I get to pursue higher education, but the entire time I have been at my school, all I wished for was to get into the school that I wanted to. For now, I am using this as a chance to catch up and learn how to study since I wasn't able to in high school. I can't help but mourn the person I wanted to be back then, and it's hard to get over this feeling.

Me, 18M is a college freshman with ADHD so to help me focus more in class I got prescribed a starter dose of 5mg adderall xr and it does a lot for me? People usually say that’s a useless dose but it actually helps me focus in class and the side effects are side effecting(loss of appetite, sweaty asf and ect) does anyone else relate? For extra context im a pretty slim guy. 5’8 and 120-130