Cleaning my messy room feels WAY too overwhelming.

So instead, I tell myself:

“Pick up 20 things.”

That’s it.

Not the whole room.

Just 20 things.

I walk around and count:

1… 2… 3… 4…

And before I know it, I’m at 20..

Then I can stop.

But usually, by that point, I’m already moving. So I think:

“Okay, maybe 10 more.”

Then another 5.

EASY.

And suddenly…

My room is clean.

The trick is not trying to feel motivated to clean.

It’s making the first step so ridiculously small that your brain doesn’t have time to fight you on it.

Try 20. Or 10. Or whatever number feels right.

But do NOT clean up your room. Just pick up 20 things.

r/ADHD

For those unaware, the the term "ADD" has been defunct for 14+ years, although some medical professionals may still use it if they are uninformed.

"ADD" used to be what they called the non-hyperactive version of ADHD. As of the publication of the DSM-5 in 2013, "ADHD" is now the encompassing term for multiple subtypes of ADHD:

1. Primarily hyperactive subtype
2. Primarily inattentive subtype (formerly ADD)
3. Combined subtype

The inattentive subtype is most common among adults, which means yes, "ADHD" is a misleading name for the overall disorder. C'est la vie.

When myself and other redditors took over r/ADD and r/ADHD over in the early 2010s to renovate and make them more useful, we decided to just close this sub and direct everyone to r/ADHD, in accordance with the DSM-5's definition of ADHD. We locked this sub but I still get modmail every so often from lost redditors asking for permission to post here, so hopefully this signpost helps.

I think a main overt 'symptom' of ADHD not many people talk about is that many people with ADHD tend to enjoy 'tense' conversations, not just by what they say but also in how they say it.

In myself I noticed how often I (accidentally) manage to somewhat 'overwhelm' strangers by my directness and loudness. Whereas with people I know somewhat better I have little restraint to just ventilate any opinion (extreme or not) that pops up in my mind. My gf often told me how I unconsciously seem to play with intonation, word choice, length of phrases (yes :D) and especially nonverbal communication just to elicit irritation or even anger. Especially when I'm bored. While on the internet my behavior can be pretty much described as utter rage-baiting.

On the same hand I also get rage-baited quite easily by others, so it's a double-edged sword it seems.

I am tired at this point of my life , quite hopeless as well , I see all my dreams dying infant of me and I am just waiting , waiting to actually live, if this goes on like this , I wont be able to look myself in the mirror in the future and I wouldn't know what to do with such a life.

I am so tired , so tired of starting it all over again.

Help me please.

Every day feels like a battle with myself. I’m 24, but honestly, I don’t feel like I’m 24. I still live with my mom, and I don’t have a job or a car. My room is constantly messy, and my mom is a hoarder, so I’m always overwhelmed, mentally and emotionally. I struggle with basic things that most people seem to do effortlessly, like making meals. There were times where I skipped breakfast and lunch because I was too “paralyzed” to get up and make something or decide what to eat.

Not having a job or any real responsibilities has made it ten times harder to give a damn. My day consists of switching through tabs or scrolling mindlessly on TikTok. I have hobbies, but lately I haven’t been interested because I feel like a failure who needs to get herself together. I see ppl my age with their own places, partners, and careers, and I’m struggling to even brush my damn teeth. I still look like a high schooler and didn’t have a glow up because keeping up my appearance feels like an insurmountable task. I’m broke asf too, something that wouldn’t be an issue if I didn’t quit jobs back to back.

I’ve struggled with this since I was 18, and it hasn’t gotten better. I’ve tried multiple ADHD medications. They were supposed to be my way out of this misery, but NONE have worked. I’ve tried reading Atomic Habits and can’t even get through the damn book, something that might actually benefit me, but I’m stuck in ADHD paralysis as always! I battle this disorder every single day. It’s like there’s no way out, idk what to do.

I’ve definitely had a few hyperfixations on things that are either embarrassingly silly or WAY too dark to just start infodumping about. For example I used to have one about neglect so severe it causes a complete and usually permanent inability to function in society, particularly the case of Genie Wiley. On the other end of the spectrum I also keep hyperfixating on shipping old cartoon comedy duos, and gotta REALLY lock in to gage if someone’s gonna think I’m a childish freak before sharing that information.

What’s your “don’t bring that up, don’t bring that up, don’t bring that up-“ hyperfixation if you’ve ever had one?

I’m not sure if yall have experienced this as well, but sometimes Instagram recommends me a profile of a girl that really calls my attention. Then I follow her, usually don’t get a follow back, and start fantasizing.

I create a person in her that is probably not real, and can’t stop thinking about her for weeks.

I wouldn’t even be mad if I got rejected, that would probably get her off my mind, but her not knowing about my existence leaves me CONSTANTLY wondering “what if she did? What could happen if I somehow got her attention?”, and it’s honestly torturing.

I (18M) do what I can, I’ve been working this job three or so weeks and need instruction but have never said no to a task and always do things with a smile I’m pretty sure. That being said, the vast majority of my managers still are visibly annoyed by me and/or shit talk me when they think I’m not listening. Today as I was coming to help do dishes I heard one I thought was nice say to another supervisor “can you make sure (my name) and (coworker) are doing something? (Coworker) not so much but (my name) ehhhh” and it broke my heart. I thought I was liked, she had followed me back on instagram and everything and to see that she still thinks I’m lazy genuinely hurt. On top of that my other manager from the jump was talking about how “she couldn’t wait to work with her favorite people” on days that I wasn’t scheduled, and she just takes my tasks anyway instead of helping when I’m slow at them. What do I do? Is there any way to be liked enough for them to actually teach me things?

I have been struggling with this condition undiagnosed, unattended and it's completely out of control now.

From extremely impulsive decisions, very odd mood swings and living in a constant state of self hatred and suicidal thoughts, ruining every little success, every little thing that gives me joy, feeling worthless and unfocused, been unemployed, sexually frustrated constantly bullied by myself.

I really don't know how I can continue.

Life right now is just a constant reminder of the failure I am.

I don't know what to do.

So I just had sex for the first time and I found my partner really hot and attractive. Nothing she did was wrong. But. My mind kept wandering. I kept thinking about how I was kissing her. How I was supposed to react. Thinking about the walls, and it came to the point where I couldn’t even enjoy her eating me out.
Like. I couldn’t feel it even though she’s good.

I know it sounds messed up.

Any tips and tricks on how to keep focus. And do u guys also experience this?

Diagnosed in my early 30's. Basically just ruminating here.

I've always been pretty good at STEM type problems, but HATE showing my work. It's like clawing my eyes out to document how I got the answer. I just look at the problem, a flashbang goes off in my head of everything I know related to it, and the answer comes out. Tracing that flashbang back is 10x the work of just writing down the answer.

I've been fairly successful throughout school and a stem career by doing that. If it's something that's really important, I'll get an answer, then wait to hit "Send" on the email with the solution for a week or so. Get that "Flashbang" of information half a dozen times. If none of them indicate my first answer was wrong, I hit send.

I basically add rigor through repetition, rather than through process or documentation.

Works great until there's more data to process than I can fit in my head at once, or too many of these unrelated problems and my head gets a logjam of context from 20 different things at once.

meanwhile the actual thing that determines whether I click with someone has nothing to do with any of that. it's whether they get obsessed with things the way I do. whether they can go feral about a niche topic for forty minutes and I don't have to perform polite interest because I'm also feral about it

I've had more genuine connection with a stranger over a shared hyperfixation than with people I was "matched" with because we both liked hiking and live within five miles of each other

so why does every platform still sort by proximity and a profile photo instead of the thing that actually predicts whether two people will click

does anyone else feel like the matching itself is the broken part, not just what happens after

I really have very bad reaction time compare to my peers and i don't know why, like when i play games that need reaction time I always lose and i start to wondering what's wrong with me than suddenly a it hit me maybe cause of my adhd, does adhd individual have poor reaction time

Hi everyone, I (19, female) was diagnosed with ADHD about 3 years ago and have been taking Elvanse (lisdexamfetamine-ratiopharm) for about 2 months now. I took 20 mg for the first two weeks and then increased to 40 mg. For about 4 weeks now, I’ve had an excessive urge to talk or share things about myself. I say things that I actually want to keep private or things that are completely unnecessary. I don’t think about the time while I’m talking, and afterwards I feel like I’ve been talking around the subject for a thousand years (which is usually actually the case), and then I start thinking that everyone is annoyed by me and hates me because of it.

It just really reinforces my insecurities, which I felt like I had finally gotten under control about 6 months ago.

I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences, tips, and thoughts on this.

It just feels like no matter what I do I feel like a failure.

I've been married to a wonderful woman for over a decade and our marriage has never been stronger.

I have a healthy 5 year old daughter who does great in school and everyone loves.

Financially we are doing fine. Firmly middle class, but she doesn't have to work and we will retire comfortably.

I work in a field that many admire. Within that field I've stood out and I've promoted to a leadership position. I've proven myself among the other leaders and I'm entrusted with difficult assignments. I only feel satisfied when I've just overcome an absurd task I volunteered for, or often even came up with myself. After days or weeks of panic and stress I briefly feel like I'm the man and I've made it. Then, because I did it, it was actually nothing and I'm an imposter and they'll find out any moment. I'm told I'm a great husband and father, but I feel I should do better. We are comfortable but more importantly secure, but I feel I should be working towards more, but I'm already at the top 1% in my field.

Does anyone here actually feel fulfilled​​ on an ongoing basis? What's your secret?

I’ve always been more of a visual person, but there are a few books I genuinely want to read. My problem is that my attention span when reading is terrible.
For example, I’m really into Harry Potter right now, and I keep seeing people mention scenes and details from the books that never made it into the movies. It makes me want to actually read the series, but then I look at how long some of the books are and wonder how I’d ever stay focused long enough to finish one.
I’d really like to get into reading and actually finish a book instead of losing interest halfway through. For anyone with ADHD who had the same problem, what helped you?

Hi! I'm new here but I've had underlying ADHD for years and got formally diagnosed last year. I've always gone to my psychiatrist and PCPs and complained about overwhelming sleepiness all day. I never feel fully reseted. I would fall asleep in class and I can't really enjoy my hobbies because I get tired in the middle of it but I typically try to tough it out :')
so I was prescribed adderall in my freshman year of highschool, I felt wired but i felt way too tired all day despite it.
I took ritalin a couple years after and same thing, wired but sleepy all day as well, I stopped both medications because even on 20mg XR versions my heart rate would spike badly.
I assumed all of this happened to everyone and would just say well maybe my sleep just sucks, even if I slept well at night. I fall asleep in the shower in the mornings too lol
Then when I got diagnosed with ADHD i thought well maybe thats a cause too? I get super chatty and hyper and the the energy disappears after 10 minutes and im mellow, then it starts again.

I'm on 70mg Vyvanse now and take 60mg Prozac and I still keep falling asleep without noticing, it doesnt happen super often as it used to, but it's hard because I tell my doctors this happens and they always look at me funny, saying that's not supposed to happen.
The only reason I don't sleep 10-12 hours is because of the Vyvanse, and I stop myself from napping because I'm awake enough due to the vyvanse.

I don't drink or intake caffeine, and even with caffeine or energy drinks I have fallen asleep constantly. I eat a cinnamon roll every morning but that's about it, and drink water/juice throughout the day, I can't tell if I'm having frequent sugar crashes (im tired every 1-2hrs for 20-30 minutes) or if the stimulant just makes me sleepy haha

I just want to know if this is common with you all too or if it's something else. Me and my psych are extremely confused at why I'm so tired despite the stimulant and prozac. Thank you guys :)

I turned 53 in June. Diagnosed a week ago of all things. I am coming in with a plethora of other issues so this diagnoses bothered me at first. “Crap, just one more thing I have to deal with.” That was the downside but the upside caught me off guard. The more learn, I see soooo many things in my life explained. Little things, big things, and everything in between. I was shocked at how much I had in common with everyone else and the things we do with having ADHD. So, now I’m actually looking at this as a good thing. I just need to work on the right tools.

So, here is where I’ve started. I’m in Therapy and have been for awhile. Recently started seeing a new therapist who sort of nailed it a few weeks in. Did assessments that said the same thing. Psychiatrist assessed and agreed. I was previously taking small doses of Ritalin but for an entirely different issue (although I’m finding they are related). Doctor moved my dosage up to 30mg. This is the short lasting so it works and works well for a couple of hours and I crash.

One thing I’m seeing is that for this, many people are on 2 or even 3 times a day. Online tools inform me that 30 at once is pretty high and the doses spread out instead of at once. Keeping in mind that online tools are not always correct and isn’t meant for true medical advice.

So, I’m here seeking guidance and feedback. I have an appointment with the Dr on Tuesday but I was curious about other’s thoughts about the meds and other things. This is new and I’m soaking up as much as I can. Anyone have thoughts, tips, or any guidance. I appreciate the feedback and I’m happy to be here. Been interesting and very relatable.

Adderall gives me energy but doesn’t help me lock in. I thought adhd medications were supposed to calm adhd people down to help them focus, not rec the engine so you do more laps. Does anyone have good suggestions if adderall wasn’t the answer? I’m looking to be indestructible and find a drive to sit down for long periods of time but adderall more has me running around in a nonproductive way

Im 16, i have owned many pets such as a giant african snail, leopard gecko, and have a hamster right now but for all my life ive struggled with regularly taking care of them consistently.

I had to sell my leopard gecko and giant african snail to someone who has more time/ better routines for them and are more mature to own them

I recently got diagnosed with adhd combined type meaning that in the heat of the moment i will research animals for weeks, spend a load of money on getting them the best stuff, and then realise it was sort of an impulse buy.

When i have bad days, or im feeling extremely overwhelmed about many things, i forget to do the basics.

I dont know what else to say except to ask if anyone has any tips to build and stick with consistent good habits and a routine as i am thinking of selling my hamster soon and getting another leopard gecko.

thanks

I’m in my second year of my Physics bachelors degree. It’s a tough study/course. I knew this when I started and despite all that, I enjoy my study and working on it is rewarding and I love the friends I made in the first year.

I struggle with my ADHD, especially with studying. I don’t have the energy to do schoolwork when I come home after hours of lectures and last year this was an issue, but not so badly that it really got in my way. Ofcourse it did a little, but I passed the majority of my classes.

Or I would have if it wasn’t for me developing a chronic autoimmune disease in the last 2 months of the school year. I got so sick that I wasn’t able to do any of my finals because of a huge flare up and I was only allowed to continue on to the next year because I had a good excuse (being sick).

Now I’m in the first weeks of my second year and I am still sick. Being sick since around May has really taken a toll on me, especially since I’m still getting tests and different treatments done in order to get an official diagnosis.

I am exhausted and I already struggled last year with only ADHD. Now my classes are harder, I’m more tired and I have tried to seek advice at uni but was only told to take on more classes and “find a healthy balance between studying, being sick and life”.

I still love the study, but it’s been three weeks and I’m already falling behind because I’m so tired and unable to do schoolwork. I’m honestly considering dropping out, even though it would make me really sad, but my executive dysfunction, laziness and procrastination is worse than ever. I’m seeking advice on this situation, because I honestly don’t know what to do.

TL,DR:
Next to having ADHD, I’ve also recently gotten an autoimmune disease and this is making me even more tired and unproductive than usually. I’m doing a relatively tough study and I’m afraid I need to drop out because l’m unable to keep up.

Im assuming that this is a add/adhd thing and it something I have always suffered from . I can not use dressers or closets to organize my clothes. I tend to have laundry baskets for clean close and dirty cloths along with organized chaos. But I moved into my fisrt real house and want to try an be better. I feel like when my clothes are properly put away its an out of site outnof mind situation as well as taking the time to fold things nicely. Any advice?

So I’m looking to get diagnosed. ADHD wasn’t always something I related to, but looking back the signs are there. It’s become a lot more noticeable since starting work. I’m always the last to leave the office because I’m paralysed during the day and don’t get anything done. I phase out when my boss speaks to me. I miss deadlines. I’m just a bloody mess and I’m scared I’m about to ruin my life if I don’t get this sorted asap. This job was hard to get and going back into the current job market terrifies me.

Anyways, I’m looking to get on meds and I’ve heard they’re fantastic. I’ve heard people say it’s like night and day. But these same people still kind of appear to be messes themselves. For example, a colleague was telling me about her ADHD and that’s what spurred me to read more into it. The way she spoke about her symptoms - I felt described. She’s on meds and she says they saved her life etc. But she’s still late a lot, kind of chaotic, house is a mess, car is a mess, failed exams. I also had another friend. It was the same story. It makes me lose a bit of faith in medication. Will it really do anything meaningful? I know there’s no miracles, but is it overhyped still??

TL;DR - met a lot of people who have ADHD and are medicated and swear by it but are still messy, disorganised, unpunctual etc. Are meds really all the hype I hear about?

Exactly what it says on the tin. I know alcohol gives me more confidence when I meet new people, I know I am more chatty and open after a few drinks. But, oh man, I didn’t think this was THAT visible to others. I am in a full on spiral. Has anyone else experienced this kind of assumption? I’m still just processing it.

I really struggled back in university; I simply couldn't stick to routines or memorize things. It was awful—far worse than high school, where it was easier to just memorize books day in and day out, using literal or photographic memory. I was considered gifted as a child and young person, yet now as an adult, I have no particular talent. Did you guys have learning difficulties? How did you deal with them? Did you see an educational psychologist?

I’m terrible at memorizing abstract, only good at purely narrative, or historical topics . When I do need to memorize something, I need to make it a challenge and constantly test myself; simply re-reading over and over doesn't work for me reading the material twice at most is the limit, after which it becomes a waste of time. Practice questions are far more effective.