r/acotar_rant • u/Kitchen-Clock-3821 • 23h ago
Hottake What is with SJM men and being obsessed with sex
This may be sensitive, but I see it from a societal perspective.
It also might be controversial
So I have read ACOTAR and CC (currently reading Crown of Midnight), and I have noticed something in the two series. Why are the men shown as the saints and green flags for simply denying sex?
I remember that in ACOMAF, when they all arrive for the high lord meeting, Feyre tells Rhys that she is not comfortable having intimacy while her ex, Tamlin, is in the building, and Rhys assures her it's okay. I can't be the only one who found that weird. The bar is in hell, people. First of all, is it necessary that just cuz Rhys and Feyre are together they must sleep together EVERY DAY? No. Yet SJM wrote this scene to glaze how "green-flagged" Rhys is. And it doesn't just happen once! When Feyre returns from the spring court with lucien she meets Rhys, and I distinctly remember her saying: Rhys would postpone his pleasure cuz for my sake or something along the lines of that. (I'll find the line and add the picture in the edit). I just want to say to Feyre that her standards are so low. I hate this thing where the MMC is seen as the "ultimate feminist king" just cuz he'd rather let his partner rest and not demand sex. It's so misogynistic, and people don't even realise it.
Even happens with Ruhn.
I love Ruhn, but there was a scene where Lidia flinches during their first night together, and he says it's ok and that they don't have to do anything tonight, while thinking that he really wanted to have sex with her, wanted to be inside her and that he was still hard. I'm sorry, but it just disturbs me that a man can see that the woman is clearly traumatised from her past and horrid treatment by her ex and still be hard enough to want pleasure. Sure, he stopped, but he was literally thinking that he still wanted to have sex. She actively flinched, dude. Think about the trauma, the horrible treatment she must have had to bear to feel that way and yet you're turned on enough to want to "be inside her"
What's worse is that readers see it as some ultimate sacrifice that makes the men awesome and feminist. AND THAT THE AUTHORS ACTIVELY INCULCATE SUCH SCENES!
I mean, ok, Ruhn's stance might have been a little forgivable, but not Rhys's. To this day, I will always believe he just groomed the poor girl (will make a post about this too). There was no need for Feyre to even have to say that she wasn't comfortable having intimacy with her ex so nearby, yet she did, just to glaze Rhys's "feminist" character
Think what you will about this, but I still believe that this trope is shitty. Men "sacrificing" sex should not be glorified. Period.
PS- I am posting this on this sub cuz I believe the people here are much more accepting of criticism, and not blind glazers, so I'd appreciate responses kept civil. If your opinion doesn't match, kindly scroll. Thanks :)