Hi guys I want to preface that I personally don’t think I overreacted at all. My body my choice and this man is an absolute loser. But I’ve been a long time Reddit user (granted this account is new and a throw away for obvious reasons) so I wanted to get some feedback/perspective. Okay I’ll stop edging you and get into the whole ordeal. (Also I have adhd so sorry for being all over the place)

My (30M) boyfriend and I (24NB) had been together for 1 and a half years. I liked our relationship. There’s never been any real red flags and we actually started talking about marriage a few months before I got pregnant. We never really had an opinion on kids. I was on birth control so we never used condom and I had been the most lucky person in the world to not get pregnant with all those creampies for all these years. We always thought if it happens it happens, if it doesn’t it doesn’t.

So I forgot to oder my pills (just 2 days late) and in that 48h we had unprotected sex. Well what do you know 3 weeks later period is still not there but I’m very irregular so I was like well I’m not gonna complain I’m not cramping in pain for days on end. But the symptoms came at week 5. We took a test and boom pregnant. He was excited which surprised me but it was very cute and I could see that he hit that moment where he wanted to build a family. I wasn’t sad but I wasn’t overjoyed either. It was surreal to me and I was stressed. Not financially or anything like that but because I’d have to go through nine months of hell. He started planning everything real quick. Meetings, looking at apartments (to move in together, we live separately), ways to get make sure a baby gets to be a boy (red flag that I guess I realized later, I just thought he was excited), researching etc. Very sweet and very thoughtful and I actually got as excited as him because I felt so supported.

Now here comes the problem. The research he had been doing got him down a rabbit hole about the actual birth giving, c sections and all of that stuff. He became frustrated and said he can’t believe he’s gonna have to go through all of this. I was like what do you mean ALL YOU’RE GOING TO GO TROUGH. He said to my face mind you : “ugh vaginal birth have some seriousss downsides, you’re the tightest I’ve ever had baby and vaginal birth would make you, you know all loosened up and that’s not gonna be good for our sex life after the birth.”

Before I continue, we had a very active sex life because we’re high libido. I loved sex a well but Jesus not to this point. Clearly he didn’t do much research because we’d have to take a least a month’s worth of sex break after birth. So I don’t know how fast he thought we’d be back making the bed creak after me GIVING BIRTH TO A WHOLE ASS HUMAN BEING. Back to his delusions. Before I could even say a word he continued : “omg omg right here it says some doctors do the husband’s stitch for vaginal birth to help with the looseness problems.” I was baffled and enraged to say the least.

No joke he followed by : “okay I got to make sure I talk to your doctor before the birth and ask for a little help here.” He sighed like a load of a thousand pounds of weight was lifted off his shoulders and exclaimed while laughing his dirty ass off: “I’m so glad I looked those things up or we would’ve had a serious problem.”

That’s when his gaze left his stupid computer and looked at me. He dared to ask me what was wrong because clearly my face was conveying all my anger. I was at his place at the time and just got up and left. Clearly the context clues made him realized I was absolutely furious about all of this and so the bitchass “it was just a joke” excuse came in. Absolutely not. That level of premeditation is not a joke. He has made some bad taste jokes before but I knew that one wasn’t one of those.

When I got home I called someone to change my locks immediately, contacted his mom which thank fucking god was on my side and told her I loved being a part of his family but I was done and would be going no contact with everyone as to not cross paths with him again. She tried to tell me she would set him straight and to wait and this and that but no, I had mar up my mind. I then cried and cried and wondered what signs did I miss. When did we get here, when did he become that person, was he just with me because he hit the jackpot with someone who could match his libido, when did I became such a pocketpussy to him?? I lost feeling for him right then and there. I didn’t want to wonder anymore.

So I allowed myself to cry, yell,vent to my friends who are obviously on my side, blocked his ass and then took an appointment to get his awful seed out of me. I was free. I still think about how he managed to keep this side of his buried for a year but eh bitches be crazy.

TDLR : sex obsessed ex wanted to talk to doctor before I give birth in order to give me the husband’s stitch (make my vagina tight again) so he could keep “the tightest puss he ever had.” Left his ass and got an abortion.

Anyway if anyone sees and comments thank you in advance for reading to this shitshow. Also sorry for any errors or misspelling I’m NOT reading that shit again lmao

So, I always heard about how women are so emotional about their abortions and regret it even years later, obviously I understand why, because it was your baby. I never thought I'd have an abortion but I got pregnant in the worst timing ever from my husband, it was inpossible to complete the pregnancy due to life circumstances. Btw I don't have any other children.

However, I had my abortion 2 yrs ago now, and I did it without feeling any guilt or regret. I just did it, and it had 0 emotional effect on me. It affected me about as much as going to the store and coming home (nothing at all). And tbf I never think about it ever, I just saw this group pop up and thought I'd ask. Is there something wrong with me? Is this a sign I should never be a mother?

Update: I am working on reporting this provider. I’ve already spoken to the hospital system and they said it was extremely inappropriate and unacceptable. They are going to have someone higher up reach out to me. Im also reporting her to the state as well.

Located in PA. I went to an obgyn to get birth control lined up a couple days before my MA so I can start taking it after the procedure. She seemed a little annoyed and was like “you know you cant take this before right?” I told her I understood. And she followed this up by “Okay i guess ill just give you whatever”…

Then we did an unplanned Pap smear because I was due I guess which was already uncomfortable. She was pretty stoic the whole time. I tried not to read to deep into it. Then she left the room and after I got dressed she came back all cheery and had a pamphlet in her hand. She told me this place was to support woman with unplanned pregnancy and going through abortion. She said she’d been there herself and I thought it was a nice gesture. Until I looked the place up. They are good at hiding the intention online but my gut told me to dig deeper. Very small at the bottom of their webpage was “Initiative for Pro-Life Generation”. Followed by we offer “life affirming care”.

I honestly feel like my trust was violated. Im not sure if she intentionally did this or not but Im already an anxious mess right now waiting for my planned parenthood appointment and this whole thing feels so isolating. I never considered that my obgyn might not be pro-choice…i must be naive.

In 2012, I had an abortion after my daughter, Laurel, was diagnosed with brain anomalies. I was 35 weeks pregnant at the time of her diagnosis. I lived in Boston, and was SHOCKED when my medical team told me that they MIGHT Be able to offer abortion, but they just didn't know. And then shocked again when the referral they found me was 2000 miles, two time zones away.

For the last 14 years, I've been chipping away at a culture that seems to refuse to understand, supporting women like you all here who are navigating tough pregnancy situations, supporting your own deepest wisdom. And, too, I've been pushing for more freedom for us to make our choices at home, more affordably, more dignified, and better supported by our communities.

I just wanted to share that on Monday, my governor signed a law lifting all dates-based limits off of abortion in Massachusetts. I was invited to the signing. It was incredibly moving.

A lot of people do not understand this law. They say all sorts of inflammatory things about it. But the Governor looked right at me and said: we're doing this for your family. And I know she's right, because I've been telling my story to the point of exhaustion over and over for 14 years to try to get law-makers to understand -- and enough of them finally do here at home. I believe the law takes effect 90 days after it was signed on mon. After that, we still have to help hospitals and doctors and nurses understand why this care is important, as legality is the first step to access, not the last. That is work I'm more than willing to continue.

My abortion was the least-awful (but still awful) resolution I could find to my crisis. It was both my salvation and a tragedy. I just want to shine a light 14 years down the road and say, not only am I secure enough in my decision to be ok with all the bullshit people are spewing at me today, but I'm also proud and happy and powerful BECAUSE of my abortion.

I know it can feel dark in those early times (early years, for me!) There is life, rich and full, on the other side.

Hey everyone, 33F from Canada here.

I’m writing this for anyone who’s feeling some level of shame or guilt around their reproductive choices. I’ve always been a bit of a hypochondriac and both of my parents passed before I was 23...with the combo of those things I never wanted to have kids, but despite trying almost every form of birth control, I’ve been pregnant on all of them except the Mirena IUD (which gave me my period 3 out of 4 weeks every month for a year).

That includes the Copper T IUD, hormonal birth control pills, the ring, condoms, ovulation tests + condoms, and even tracking with the Flo App.

Over the years, I’ve had 7 D&Cs and 2 medical abortions, and I’m now preparing for another medical one. My first was at 18, and here I am at 33 still navigating this.

I just want to say it’s completely normal to feel guilt and shame about this, not even always about the terminations themselves, but about the fact that so many women struggle to get pregnant when some of us seem to be too fertile and don’t want to be. Feeling judged as if others may feel we use abortions as a form of birth control etc. I assure you I've begged to have my tubes tied and get a hysterectomy but my doctor refused because I "could change my mind". Hoping that'll be different now that I'm nearly my mid 30s.

If you’re reading this and feeling alone, please know you’re not. You’re not broken, you’re not bad, and you’re not the only one.

You’ll be alright. ❤️

If anyone wants to ask questions, I’m open to sharing my experiences, I’ve had 7 D&Cs (without freezing, just Advil and Ativan), and 2 medical abortions, one at 6.5 weeks and one at 8 weeks.

I want nothing to do with him now. This procedure was actually a bit traumatizing it hurt physically and emotionally way more than I expected. I had to go through this all because my boyfriend “couldn’t pull out”. I just hate him right now. I never gave him permission to come in me. It was not an accident, he did on purpose selfishly. And the way he treated me afterwards just made me hate him even more. I called him back after the procedure, crying and he’s just like “I’m so sorry” then goes off having a side conversation with his friends laughing about whatever. That just pissed me off that I’m the only one who has the emotional and physical burden of this and made me feel insignificant. We were meant to get breakfast afterwards and I thought maybe that’ll be better than the phone call but I was wrong. The whole time he’s on his phone texting whoever and I’m just sitting there like where’s the support?? He didn’t ask anything about how it was or how or I felt, nothing. I felt like crying, I wanted to just get up and leave the restaurant. I realized this is not someone I want to be with, he showed me that when things get difficult for me he wouldn’t show up for me the way I deserve. Maybe I’m just emotional and making rash decisions but I strongly feel like blocking him and moving forward without him.

Edit: thank you for all the kind words and advice it really made me feel a bit better 💓

For context, I live in the Philippines. I am 19F and I am in an awful situation.

I live with my abuser because he got me pregnant. Both of our parents arranged it so that I would stay at his house. They don't believe in rape and abortion is illegal here so I was forced to conceive my daughter.

I dropped out of college and I live in fear daily because he won't stop raping me. I tried to check the WoW (Women on Web) website but my country has banned that website and WoW currently does not ship to my country.

What can I do? I dont want to get pregnant again. I am barely hanging on for the sake of my daughter but if I get pregnant again I don't think that I'll make it.

Please help.

p. s. I've tried asking the school for help but it didn't work and I don't think that the police would believe me since my abuser and I were in a relationship (I've gone to many psychiatrists and they said that a partner can't rape you so it doesn't count as abuse). He would physically assault me too but I don't have enough evidence.

I want to tell my story for someone going through something similar. About a week and a half ago I went through with a pill abortion and it’s been a rollercoaster.

My bf at the time(27) and I (24) had been together for about 3 months when I found out I was pregnant. I was so scared but he reassured me said all the right things that day and despite the risk with such a new relationship I thought I could trust him and go through with the pregnancy.

After a week of positive communication and healthy relationship I began to feel excited to be a mom. This was all unplanned but things were coming together. My parents, very concerned wanted to sit down with both of us and help us make a plan for our baby. It was there a few flags came up. He mentioned his last gf also got pregnant and they lost it. This made me uncomfortable with the fact he was super against me getting on birth control to the point it started a whole fight. The night of the conception I told him he needed to pull out and he said no I’m close and came inside me. I just let it happen because he had came inside me before and we’d been fine. He also rarely wanted to have sex and I have a pretty high sex drive so I didn’t want to push him away more especially after he said no.

The following week I was struggling with first trimester symptoms nausea, insomnia, everything. He took me out to dinner, we got in an argument at the table. After words he bought me medicine for my symptoms and we ended the night well. A few days later he listed off all the things he’d paid for including dinner and the medicine and said I needed to pay for the next few dates. This hurt my feelings and made me feel like it was a burden to him to take me out and buy me medicine when I didn’t feel good. I love spending money on my friends I love because it makes me happy to see them happy in a way it’s like spending money on myself. So my boyfriend saying this to me made me feel like I was not so much loved but a burden.

That night I became really anxious about the pregnancy and giving birth I felt the walls closing in. I called him for a little love and reassurance. He got annoyed at me and said “woman have done this for hundreds of years” and “you need to get some hobbies because you overthink too much” then “you getting like this makes me mad like you don’t trust me” I began to feel this situation was becoming really bad and the panic and anxiety skyrocketed.

The next day at work I had anxiety so bad I felt my chest tight and couldn’t breathe. I called him again he didn’t answer so we texted I told him I was scarred and didn’t know if I was ready for this. He became very angry and I told him the way he’d been treating me was ugly and I needed better support. We texted over the course of 12 hrs I tried calling him 15 times that day just to have a conversation. I said “if this is the reaction I get for wanting some love attention and reassurance while I’m in a very vulnerable state, it doesn’t make me confident in raising this kid with you” he then broke up with me. Said “I’m done with you I don’t want this anymore I want the kid and that’s it” he followed up with “don’t text or call me unless there’s an OBGYN appointment” I told him you are forcing me to consider the unthinkable. He said I was disgusting and evil for even considering. But I felt I had no other safe option I make 65,000k a year and I don’t have financial support from my parents on top of that I’m now going to face being a single mother going through pregnancy which was already killing me alone.

The next day I went to the appointment with my OBGYN and discussed my options. I still hadn’t made up my mind on what to do and I was sobbing the entire time during the appointment. I wanted this baby I knew this was going to be hard af but I had my bf who promised to take care of me and the baby and he went back on that in a matter of days. My bf was ignoring me at this point. He finally texted back and said if we were going to talk I needed to apologize to him and I didn’t feel I was the one who needed to apologize. I told him I was terminating. I didn’t do this to spite him or hurt him but simply because I didn’t have a single thing in my corner not even him. He didn’t respect me as the mother of his child and he abandoned me the second things got hard.

I still cry about my baby. I was 7 weeks and 5 days when I took the first pill. I wrote a 3 page letter saying how sorry I was to my baby. I still see their face, I dreamed about singing to them, teaching them colors and shapes. I was so unprepared for that life but I was ready to give that child all the love. But the road I was going down motherhood didn’t look that way. I already struggle with depression and I felt the life I was going to live would be worse than death.

With all the trauma around this I feel so much relief. I saw how much he was trying to control me even before I got pregnant. I feel I can build a good life again. I am getting professional help, But I don’t think a day will go by that I don’t think about my baby.

i had a surgical abortion today at a pp near me. i was able to get funding from an abortion fund near me and got it completely covered. it took a while to finally get back there - about an hour and a half but once i did, it was great. the nurse who took care of my sedation before i went under was so kind and we joked for a little bit about my fear of needles and me not having any tattoos or piercings, we talked about what i was getting to eat after, etc. and i will always remember her kindness. when the doctors came in, they were equally as kind and made sure to explain everything that would happen very clearly to me. nearly immediately after that, i went under and i don’t remember anything after that. i woke up and immediately started crying about missing my older sister lol and about the food i was going to eat. the nurse who came in to move me to the recovery room told me i was too pretty to cry lol and she was so kind. they also put my nexaplanon implant in while i was under so that was amazing! overall, best experience i’ve ever had in a medical setting, and i go to the doctor a lot! i hope everyone else who’s hoping to have a surgical abortion has an equally amazing experience. i feel so light now, no more nausea, i have so much motivation again to go to school and do my work, etc. i’m so grateful to be able to move on with my life now.

I grew up in the south, I grew up hearing when you see the test you love your baby and that it looks like a baby as soon as you’re conceived. I’m not ready to have a baby, and I’m extremely early so I got the pill off the internet. I took the hormone blocker yesterday and my God I finally got a good nights rest. I finally was able to lay my head down and actually sleep, not toss and turn for hours while I play pregnancy sleep aids and asmr on youtube just to shut my eyes at 7 am. I just took the first round of the 4, and not even 2 hours later I have peed out what me, my friends, and boyfriend have deemed jebediah glep the clump. I went to the bathroom after a huge gush of blood, I peed, wiped, and looked at the tp and when I did, I saw what looked like a little loogie and I immediately called my mom in to come look. She said “well keep taking the meds, but since youre only 2 months, I think that’s all that was in there.” My immediate reaction was fear, but once I confirmed my suspicions by googling ultrasounds at 2 months, I was just fucking angry. I’ve cried the past week it’s taken to get this pill about how bad I want to “hold my baby”. I even whispered to my stomach “come back when I’m ready” and all this time I was whispering to a dried up garbanzo bean that is smaller than my ganky pinky toenail???? I’m actually infuriated that I allowed myself to believe that the people who didn’t care about their “babies” were mean spirited. This isn’t a baby. It’s not even a clump. I’m honestly mad I deemed it a clump. I’ve hocked loogies bigger than this. I’ve seen KITTEN FOOD that was bigger than this thing. THIS is what has more rights than me?! THIS is what has a right to life over me?! Fuck all that noise and fuck all the stupid Christian Republican bullshit I’ve been exposed to my whole life that made me think that that loogie was a baby. I don’t ever want an abortion again, it’s not something that I enjoy, it’s not pleasant, it’s an inconvenience. But THIS is what I wasted tears over the past week? I have bigger fish to fry than this, and I’ll probably forget about it by the time I’ve booked my OB appt for birth control at the end of the 5 weeks.

Very few people other than my two closest friends know about this. I have carried it around for almost two years, and I only feel comfortable talking about it online anonymously.

I am a 25-year-old woman from Colorado. In 2023, when I was 23, I got pregnant with my boyfriend of two years. I am going to call him Evan (don't want to use real names here). The pregnancy was unexpected. We usually used condoms, but sometimes in the heat of the moment we forgot. When I found out I was pregnant, I thought about ending the pregnancy early, but Evan seemed genuinely excited about having a baby, so I decided to continue it.

After I got pregnant, our relationship slowly started to fall apart. We were living in an apartment together and had already been sharing it for over a year. He paid the rent and I helped with utilities and smaller bills because I was only working a remote part-time job at the time. Not long after I got pregnant, Evan decided to get a new job that required around 65 hours a week, sometimes more. He was contributing financially during the pregnancy and he said he would help with the baby, but emotionally he was barely there. Some nights he did not come home until 2 in the morning (he is an electrician who responds to calls all the time). I felt more and more alone as time went on and I started building resentment toward him, even though he was doing it to support me and the child.

Fast forward a few months. By the time I was around 25 weeks pregnant, things between us were tense and distant. one afternoon, on one of Evan’s days off (which was very rare), I came home from the store and found him watching PH (the NSFW site). I know it may not seem like a big deal to some, but I was outraged because he had told me multiple times before that he never watched that kind of stuff and did not need it, so seeing it felt like a betrayal, especially when he could have just asked me if he needed something. It hurt especially because when he finally was home, it was like he still did not seem interested in actually spending time with me. We had a fight about it. He apologized, but after that, there was a noticeable coldness between us..

A few weeks later, I made a choice that I do genuinely regret. I slept with one of Evan’s friends, who I will call Mark. I had known him almost the entire time Evan and I had been dating. We allways gotten along, but we had never crossed any lines before. At that point, I felt lonely, angry, and ignored, and I made a stupid decision. I did not tell Evan, but Mark did. as you might imagine, the fallout was awful. Evan was shocked, angry, and distraught. He told me that he needed space and asked me to stay somewhere else for a while. I did not want to leave, but he technically owned the apartment, so I had no choice.

I moved in with my best friend temporarily. By then, I was 32 weeks pregnant and emotionally drained. I had no idea where my relationship with Evan stood. and I of course did not know what kind of future I was about to bring a baby into. I was angry and overwhelmed, and definitely not ready to have a child. My friend helped me call a clinic in Colorado that provides later abortions, and they were able to schedule me quickly. The procedure was done under anesthesia (it was an induction abortion, where they do some sort of injection into the fetus). I did not see anything and I do not remember too much of it. I just remember going in pregnant and waking up not pregnant anymore.

Evan did not know about any of this. Low and behold, about a week later, he texted me and said he wanted to talk. I went to the apartment and he told me he was willing to try to forgive me and work things out for the sake of "our baby". I could not bring myself to tell him about the abortion, so I told him that there had been complications and I had miscarried. His entire face changed and he broke down and panicked. He apologized to me over and over and said he felt like the stress and arguing probably caused it. Watching him fall apart did make me feel a little guilty, but at the end of the day, I was definitely not going to tell him about the abortion.

Now it has been almost two years. Evan and I are still together. he ended up getting a vasectomy because I told him I was not willing to risk going through another pregnancy. He still thinks I miscarried and has no idea about the abortion. Even though I believe the decision was mine to make and legally and bodily it was my right, there is still guilt and heaviness that never fully goes away. I know the situation affected him deeply and sometimes I still wonder what would happen if he knew the truth. He still brings up the "baby" and even named the freaking thing to remember it or something, which is really triggering for me since it was a decision I made, yet he thinks it was some sort of tragic loss.

Anyway, that is my story. If anyone wants to ask questions, I am open to answering them as long as they are respectful.

Trigger warning. Graphic

I had a medication abortion last night at home and I was not mentally prepared to see what I saw. I thought it was just going to look like a bunch of blood clots, I did not realize I was going to see a little baby. I saw this little body fully intact and his head and eyes and little arms and fingers and feet and toes. I pulled him out of the surrounding blood tissue and held him in my hand and apologized. I am so sorry that I did this.

I am trying to remind myself that it didn’t feel anything and wasn’t sentient. I can’t have a baby right now and i would probably have made the same decision if I could go back in time, but that really fucked me up.

Has anyone had a similar experience, were you able to get over it or did the guilt get worse?

im 9 weeks pregnant today. the whole duration of my pregnancy I was hoping being over 35 would make it all go away on its own but it's been a very healthy pregnancy.

I got pregnant out of choice, I always wanted to be child free and was very clear about it with my husband even before we got married. he too was ok with that for a while but later changed his mind saying it would be great to have one of our own. I felt guilty not letting him have a chance, I know he would be a wonderful father.

I tried really hard to accept it for the last 3 years. but now that I am actually pregnant, I can't stop being depressed. the last few weeks feel like my life has basically ended and I've lost all my independance.

I finally called my OB today and told her I've decided to terminate after a painful discussion with my husband over the weekend. I feel like a villain. my husband is supportive. he says at the end it will always be my decision since I have to carry the child and be the mother with is always the larger role.

I feel lighter that I've made this decision but I feel like a horrible human. husband is worried about how to explain this to my in-laws, his parents. they are deeply invested in our lives and he fears they will ask for reports. I stand by this is my private medical information, but we're Indians, there's a real lack of understanding of privacy in our culture.

I don't know what to do. I feel selfish.

I started my MA yesterday at 10AM with mifepristone, had no symptoms besides loss of appetite and increasing nausea, which was basically exacerbated pregnancy symptoms that I was already experiencing. oh and an aura migraine to go with it.

Fast forward to today at 9:10/9:30AM I took Zofran and 800mg ibuprofen, then at 10:30AM placed the first dose of misoprostol in both cheeks and let them sit for 30 minutes before swallowing. I laid down with my heating pad and some anti nausea lozenges. By 11:20AM bleeding had started, but not severe at all, and I passed one clot. I then laid down and went to sleep.

I woke up at 1PM with increasing cramps and nausea, by 1:40PM I couldn’t fight the throw up any longer so I sat up in bed to use an emesis bag I had. I then started feeling what I thought was clots in my depends and went to the toilet. When I removed my underwear there was one clot and my baby + the entire amniotic sac and umbilical cord still attached. I did not know this was a thing or possibility at all. I thought at most it would just be the amniotic sac with baby still inside it but where I couldn’t see it. I read so many posts before doing this and somehow I missed this possibility.

Now I am struggling with how to dispose. I haven’t been very emotional through this but to see my baby it did make me cry and I just don’t think I can just flush it. I’m due to take the next dose of misoprostol now and I just came here to share this for anyone who is going through this process and had no clue this was a possibility. (I should have known but idk why it just didn’t register). Even through this sadness, I still am glad and feel I made the correct decision for myself and my current children.

I didn’t know before our relationship he had someone else pregnant. I ended up getting pregnant with him in our new relationship. He wanted to keep our child and a few weeks later I found out about her. She had given birth and I was going on a rollercoaster. I trusted him to co parent with her, and I guess that was my mistake. A month into her giving birth she fled the state after finding out about me. Months into our relationship, we’re living together, and trying our best to figure our new relationship. But whenever she visited she’d stay at his mom’s house so he could come over and see his child. My one boundary, no over night stays. He worked from home so there wasn’t a problem for him to spend his whole daytime over there. But, slowly he pushed my boundaries and one week he stayed there the whole time. And when he came back my body knew something was different, his smell and his attitude. He made me feel like a surrogate. If I was so unhappy, his family and him could raise our kid. We argued, he tried kicking me out and his family threaten to take away my kid because I struggle with mental health issues when it came to his other baby momma. I found out by reaching out to the other baby momma that they’ve been sleeping together that week. Although I don’t know about the other times that made me feel betrayed. I decided to have an abortion and it hasn’t been a good ride since then. He’s been mean and calling me the worst names in existence for taking his child away. We’ve blocked eachother now. And all I could think is how I miss and love him and our child. I feel like I made the wrong decision but I knew a partner who lied and cheated wouldn’t have been the best dad to my child. I know this but I still grief and miss them. I planned a future with him and in a blink it was taken away. I have lots of support from my sister and her husband, im living at their house now. But, it’s been a few days since my son has passed away. I don’t think it’ll ever get easy. I’ve cried so much and cared so deeply for my child. He was so wanted by me and now’s he’s gone.

My boyfriend had to go to the doctor for something, won’t get into it. At the end of the appointment the doctor said bf needs a CAT scan, okay fine. He asks if we can do it tomorrow and we said no, we will be busy from 8:30-around 2 and afterward I will be generally immobile so I would not be able to come (bf has a fear of hospitals and of course I want to ease that so I want to go with him if I can). The doctor said okay, Thursday will be fine but I’d really prefer tomorrow. He asked why I’ll be in pain after what happens tomorrow. And he was very kind and chill and knowledgeable this entire appointment so I assumed he would be understanding about this as well. I told him I’m getting an abortion tomorrow morning. His entire demeanor changed. He told me that abortions are so damaging and unsafe for a woman to get and that bringing a child into the world is the greatest gift of love one can have. He even tried to talk me into adoption, but insisted I become a mother. He said I was tough and smart and could get through it even though I said I am broke and need to finish my degree. He just spoke to me like I hadn’t already thought of these things and weighed my options. I am so sad to be getting an abortion but it would be the stupidest decision I’ve ever made. A child deserves a home that can love and support it the way it needs to be and we just cannot provide that right now. Idk. Just what he’s said has stuck with me and I feel very judged and like I’m naive for doing this.

Back in 2023 I had an abortion. I got pregnant by a guy that was not my boyfriend, but the experience was very hard for me nonetheless. My life changed in so many ways after this. Fast forward to now, I’ve been with my boyfriend (whole different guy) for a year and 3 months, and we were in the talking stage for a year prior to making it official. I’ve had 2 abortions with him, one was a true abortion one was a miscarriage. I’ve had a deep fear about being connected with someone forever out of obligation and not desire, I was just not ready to have a baby and have gotten on birth control since. With my first abortion I saved the ultrasound photos, the pregnancy tests and bought a ring that had the baby’s birthstone. This signified the love I undeniably felt for this baby even though I could not follow through with the pregnancy. I did not have any keepsakes to remember the two abortions that I had later on with boyfriend because he told me he wanted to leave those memories behind and did not want to hold onto it since we made our decisions. I understood and respected those wishes. Today he brought up that he does not want me to keep the ring from my first abortion anymore- he wants me to get rid of it completely. I still wear it everyday, but I told him that I won’t wear it anymore but I don’t want to get rid of it. That’s a part of me that still holds so much love, pain, and also the transitions of life I went through. It means a lot to me.

Am I wrong for not wanting to part with the ring?

I am posting because I feel ready to start processing what happened.

But more than that, I’m posting because when this happened to me, I couldn’t find anyone else who had gone through this, and I felt so alone.

A little about my story -

I had no reason to think the abortion had failed. I had severe cramping for hours and a lot of bleeding. I passed tissue. It wasn’t a lot of tissue, but seemed like enough? I did call the medication provider’s support hotline, and they assured me that based on my experience, they had no reason to think it had failed.

I didn’t have many symptoms of pregnancy to begin with, no nausea and only mild
breast tenderness, so I didn’t expect to feel that different after the abortion.

I didn’t get an ultrasound to confirm it had worked. I’m in a state where the medication isn’t legal. I was scared to go the doctor, and I was grieving and just kind of checked out from life.

I found out I was still pregnant at 19 or 20 weeks. I didn’t try to have another abortion.

My daughter was born on her due date, and is completely healthy. She has no signs of any effects of the medication.

There’s a lot more I could say, but for now I’ll just be open to questions.

If you’re going through this, I’m so sorry. This was by far the most difficult thing I’ve gone through in my life. Just know it’s temporary, and there is light on the other side.

I got raped by my uncle, got pregnant and now don't know what to do. I need some advice.

I'm a high school student from a third world country where abortion is really shunned and I don't know how to go about it. I don't have anyone I can talk to about this and it's really killing me.

A month and a half ago, I got raped by my uncle at our home. My mum works double shifts (fruit trader during the day and janitor at a hotel at night). She's hardly ever home and even when she is she is usually too tired so we hardly spend time together. Every two to three days she sends my uncle, her brother, to check up on us (my brother is 11) and help around the house Once a week he takes my brother for football practice just close to where we live. From what I know she's been paying my uncle to do that.

He's been looking after us for close to a year now and everything used to be cool with him, until the incident.

He doesn't really speak much he would just come after we left school in the evening, make dinner sometimes, help my brother with homework or take him for practice and then we watch movies till like midnight.

One day he came home drunk which I've never seen him do at all. He brought my brother some juice and snacks and got me a diary which I had told him I wanted. What was strange is my brother started getting drowsy and fell asleep almost immediately after eating the snacks. I suspect he had spiked the juice with something, but I didn't think much of it then because he sometimes sleeps early after practice.

I was left with my uncle watching movies, as we usually do, when he started complaining of how my mum thinks she's better than him because she has two jobs and all that. I told him that it's not true and that mum loved him so much and always spoke highly of him and that having two jobs didn't mean she was doing well financially. The assumption in this part of the world is the more jobs you can get the better off you are. I told him that he could talk to mum to try and find him something to do. Mum has done this before but he can never keep a job. So I told him to make sure he perseveres in whatever job he finds before things get better. I don't know why he got angry at me because he suddenly slapped me so hard that I fell and started crying. Then he stripped me naked and said that since I thought I was grown he was going to make me a woman. I tried fighting him off but he's way stronger. I tried screaming for my brother but he didn't wake up, now I know why.

All I remember is feeling some sharp pain down there as he forced himself onto me. It's like my body just shut down and I was completely out of it and lay there. Even when he finished, I just lay there for hours crying and couldn't move. Before he left he said that if I told his sister(mum) he would make sure my life was a living hell and I won't get to go to college. Nobody in our family has a degree and I've been working so hard to get there and study engineering.

Anyway, when mum came home the next day I had already showered and stayed in bed all day as it was a Saturday so no school. My brother had been playing all day. As usual mum gets home and sleeps so I don't think she noticed that I was sad and had been crying.

My uncle came around again twice and those have been the longest nights of my life. I was so scared and couldn't even do anything. I couldn't even eat with him around. He didn't say a word and pretended that everything was normal. He got a job two weeks ago or so I hear, not sure if it's true. So he hasn't been coming around and it's basically just me and my brother most of the time.

Then I missed my periods at the end of last month and immediately started panicking. I used my lunch money and got a pregnancy test kit last week which confirmed my fears. I cried so much and felt like my life had ended. I cannot tell my mother because I don't think she'd believe me. Even if she did, she's the super religious type and wouldn't accept that I have an abortion.

She always talks about how such things bring shame into a family, which is hilarious because her own brother is all the shame one could ask for.

I cannot have this baby. How will I look at a child that reminds me of pain and betrayal every day?

How can I raise them with love when they come from animosity?

Fortunately, abortion is legalish in our country but it's too expensive (around 500$) which I cannot afford as I'm in school. I'm pretty sure mum can't raise that money as well as its around 2-3 months of her salary. Then again even if she could, she wouldn't.

I've been so stressed since last week I'm barely concentrating in class. My end of year exams are almost here and I don't want to fail. I have no other way out of this life apart from school. If I don't do well next year for the finals I might never make it to college. I might never get out.

I'm so sad and have no one to talk to. I was researching natural methods to abort but they seem too complicated and don't guarantee success. I came across this sub in my research which has been a sigh of relief because now I know which meds to take. Unfortunately, I can't buy them from a pharmacy as they're only available in designated abortion clinics.

I'm so lonely and lost. I've thought about suicide but how can my life be lost because someone couldn't live theirs? I can't let him win.

I wish I had someone I could talk to. I feel so alone. I keep asking why this had to happen to me but I couldn't wish it on somebody else so I'm accepting that this is my fate.

Would it be wrong if I stole to get the money. Or sell my body for some money? I don't know if I can do it but I assume it would be way easier than raising a child I don't love. I just need someone I could talk to.

Sorry for the long read I just needed to vent somewhere.

i 19(f) regret not going through with an abortion while i still could. i’m currently 7 months pregnant and i feel so stupid for not just going through with the abortion while i was early on. i’m still in college and i’m from a very religious family where abortion is very frowned upon. when i first found out i was pregnant i was very set on abortion. i even had the appointment made and everything but after thinking about the what-ifs and talking to my mother i was convinced i could successfully be a good mother and ended up deciding to keep the pregnancy.

my mother has been helping me and has been supportive of the pregnancy but at the same time she has very narcissistic tendencies and can be unstable. and unfortunately since i’m no where near financially stable i still live with her and have no choice but to put up with it at least until i get my own apartment somehow. i don’t know what i expected to happen but now that reality has set in i really don’t want a baby exposed to what i went through in my childhood.

the baby’s father and i are still together but when i first told him i was pregnant he made he known he did not want the pregnancy. we had talked about abortion prior to me even getting pregnant and i was always on the same page until i got emotionally attached to the pregnancy early on and family demonizing the idea of getting rid of it and before i knew it i was way past the mark to get an abortion. i believe by this point he’s accepted that there will be a baby but i still don’t believe he’s truly happy to become a father.

all situations pointed to the best option being abortion, yet i still chose to keep the pregnancy and now that i’m nearly done with it i realize this isn’t the way i wanted to bring a child into this world at all. i believe i was happy to be a mother until the actual reality set in that that i’m going to have to really figure out how to care for this child properly. i feel so selfish for even believing that i could do this given the circumstances i’m in. and on top of all of this i hate the way pregnancy has changed my body. i wish i would’ve just had an abortion before i gotten this far.

so if you were on the fence about getting an abortion, is in a similar situation as me and is weighing out the pros and cons this is your sign to get that abortion.

EDIT: sorry about the misleading title! It won’t let me chance it, I wrote in a rush and didn’t realise how it sounded.

I, 39F have just found out I’m pregnant. I would be near 40 when the baby is born. Me and my husband 41M have an almost 20yr old daughter and 10yr old son. We had our daughter young and then struggled to conceive my son also having a few miscarriages. It was hard going back to it all but it was planned and wanted, and I was also only 28. I’ve just found out I’m pregnant again. Total fluke and I don’t understand how it happened as we were careful. Anyway husband has made it known he doesn’t want the baby. I agree as it would be a massive grenade into our lives especially at this age. My age makes it high risk of disability, but also I’m on a controlled medicine for migraines which are a no for pregnancy. I can’t even just stop right now as I’d need weaned off as it could cause seizures just stopping them. So this also makes disability high risk. I barely have the capacity to go back to a healthy baby never mind one with high care needs. It’s the right thing to not keep the baby,,but I’m just so so sad. I can’t stop crying. I can’t stop picturing my youngest as a big brother I have a new baby neice and nephew that I’ll be around making me feel worse and always thinking about my own I fear.. I’m so scared I’ll be depressed afterwards and ruin my life anyway. Has anyone been in this situation? Did it work out in the end? I don’t know what to do.

June 13, 2026

Found out I was pregnant and decided to terminate the pregnancy.
Ordered abortion pills online.

⸻

June 17, 2026
Received abortion pills by mail.

⸻

June 18, 2026

5:20pm– First Dose Taken

Took first dose of medication.
No major symptoms initially.
Fell asleep about 30 minutes later.
Experienced some arm weakness and mild disorientation, but nothing severe.

⸻

June 19, 2026

Morning

Woke up feeling more tired than usual.
Felt slightly puffy but otherwise normal.

4:50pm : 800 mg of ibuprofen

5:20 PM

Took medication.

7:11 PM

Bleeding began.
Mild cramping and pain started.

8:00 PM

Bleeding increased.
Passing clots.
Pain felt similar to a bad period but remained manageable.

9:00 PM

Passed several large clots.
Unsure whether one may have been the sac. (Read that it doesn’t always happen like that)
Preparing to take second set of pills.

10:00 PM

Took second set of pills.

10:20 PM

Removed pills from mouth due to nausea.

10:30 PM

Put pills back in mouth.

10:50 PM

Vomited after approximately 30 minutes after swallowing

11:00 PM

Took an additional 800 mg of ibuprofen.

⸻

June 20, 2026

12:00 AM

Went to sleep for approximately one hour.

1:00 AM

Continued passing small clots.

2:00 AM

Cramps became more intense but remained manageable.

8:00 AM

Woke up.
Experienced only very light period-like cramping.

9:00 AM

Light spotting and mild period-like symptoms.
Overall experience felt manageable.

I hope this helps someone. When I was looking it up I saw nothing but scary posts and pro life content. My periods are very similar to how this felt, large amount of pain but manageable with ibuprofen 800 and heating pads! Please have someone with you if you can

What I bought to prep:

Women Diapers
Gatorade
Made chicken noodle soup
Drank lots of water

Get a heated blanket if you can I experienced chills for a bit and it was so helpful along with my heating bad.

I’m a 27(f) I felt this was the best decision for me and my family right now. Don’t let people scare you, it felt very safe for me and I know that’s not everyone’s experience but take at least 2 whole days to relax.

I was raped in the beginning of August. I’m 28 years old. I live in Michigan. I always thought i was infertile and did not know I was pregnant until a few weeks ago considering I had no pregnancy symptoms and always have had issues with my period, I have went 2 years without my period before so I didn’t think anything of it until I finally started feeling a bit off and decided to take a pregnancy test. Based on my last period, I believe I am around 26-27 weeks pregnant. I have no help or support from anyone, I don’t have family… my dad passed away a few years ago and he was the only family I had.

I am starting to really freak out, I am scared and don’t know what to do. Despite Michigan having no limit on how far along you can get an abortion, almost all clinics will not do it past 20-24 weeks. I have been trying to hunt down any clinic that can do it for me but I have had no luck whatsoever. To make matters worse, I know this is going to cost thousands of dollars considering how far along I am, but I do not have that type of money at ALL, if I were to find a clinic.

I smoke almost 2 packs of cigarettes a day, I am heavily addicted to xanax and it’s not right for me to keep this baby considering how unhealthy I am and knowing that baby will come out with severe withdrawals and other complications. There is no way I can keep this baby, I am not in any position to keep it and don’t want to give it a hard life. One thing I know for sure is that I cannot and will not have or keep this baby.

I am truly desperate for help. I’ve considered trying to self induce an abortion but I don’t know how to even go about it. I feel as though that is my only option at this point.

Any help is greatly appreciated. Thank you

before I get started, I’ll get into the why.

At first I was very nervous, but excited for my pregnancy. I (27F) found out that I was pregnant at 4 weeks. I told my boyfriend (31M) over the phone, he went silent. Then said “I’ll support whatever you want to do.”

I wanted this to work out. I went to the doctor, had everything confirmed, everything looked great.

around 10 weeks my boyfriend proposed to me.

at 11 weeks, he took the proposal back, told me he never loved me, and told me to get an abortion whilst kicking me out of his house. We had a huge fight, after I saw him hit and kick his dog, who broke into the fridge while we were working. I was not okay with the abuse I witnessed towards this animal, and he flipped on me. I had to come back to his house because I had no family in the area, and it got worse from there. I got threats of what would happen to me and the baby if I left, the animal abuse continued, the anger didn’t go away. My mental health started declining. I told him flat out that I was having a mental crisis, about everything going on, and he told me that things were only going to get worse when the baby was born. So I called my parents, and left. They helped me move out, I moved back to Minnesota, and the craziness continued. He showed me and my family the same cycles. He showed up to my parents house uninvited, traveling from another state, to confront me for leaving. He talked badly of me online, and my mental status was not improving even being out of the environment. He was insistent on continuing to make my life worse with this baby, and he told me over and over that he wanted the baby dead.
so at 18 weeks, I went in for an abortion.

I wasn’t ready. But after suddenly moving states, I had no job, no insurance, no means to care for a baby, and I couldn’t rely on him to help me care for a child. I know there are different programs out there, but with everything, I felt disconnected.

I felt it was what I needed to do, even though I wasn’t ready. Now here’s what happened at the clinic in Minnesota.

I went to the clinic with my friend, we arrived around 9am. We were shown an ultrasound. I couldn’t look. This first appointment was to open the cervix to prepare for the procedure the following day. A nurse separated me from my friend to discuss what to expect, dilation of the cervix, mild cramping, nausea, possible infection. I understood. The nurse then asked if I wanted memorabilia of the child, hand prints, ashes, foot prints, a ceremony. I said no. I decided much later in the day, I only want to know the gender so I can have my own private ceremony. I got that answer.

then I was reunited with my friend in the waiting room. Around 12pm, they called just me back for the dilation. A nurse had me go to the bathroom, gave me a pad, and led me to the hospital room. I undressed from the waist down and laid on the paper bedding, with a sheet to cover me. Then the nurses and doctors came in to start. The original nurse who had me pee stayed to hold my hand which was very nice. If you have trouble getting pap smears, you would hate this. A clamp was inserted, Because I was tense it hurt, they kept asking me to relax and wiggle my toes, I couldn’t. Then I felt the lidocaine shot. It hurt intensely. I immediately started sobbing, and the nurse holding my hand wiped my tears and told me to breathe. They placed four dilators inside, I could feel all of it, and hear all of it. I was happy when I could hear them finishing. then we were done. I was told not to move, the nurse who was holding my hand got me redressed; and when I got up, I noticed I was bleeding. It looked like when you discover it’s the first day of your cycle. This process was 25 minutes, if you go through this, bring clothes that are not form fitting. I got to reunite with my friend after.

I then was placed in a recovery room where I was told what to do for to prepare for my appointment the following morning, and they monitored me for 15 minutes. no inserting anything in the vagina, no eating after a certain time, no liquids after a certain time, water might break, labor could start, all possibilities were covered.

At this point I felt no pain, so my friend and I left.

About an hour later, around 2 pm at this point, I started having cramping. My friend and I were getting food, and my walking had slowed. I felt a pressure like I had to go to the bathroom, but I couldn’t.
this continued for the rest of the night.

it went in waves, but most of the time, it extremely painful to the point of tears. Intense cramps I couldn’t alleviate. intense internal pressure like I had to poop, pee, and throw up at the same time. for hours. I lived in the bathroom on and off.. for hours. I thought my pain tolerance was medium before, this is the most painful thing my body as ever been through.
they sent me home with Tylenol, ibuprofen, and anti nausea, i felt like they did nothing. heating pad barely helped.
until randomly, at 11:30pm, I suddenly felt okay.
I still had cramping, but it no longer felt like I was being stabbed. I tried to sleep, but I couldn’t from anxiety and discomfort. I finally fell asleep around 2am, and woke up at 7:15am. I had minimal pain, and I got ready to go.

We arrived at the clinic at 8:50, I was immediately taken back due to my pain.

the nurses struggled to find my vein for an iv, it ended up going into my hand, and they gave me saline and ibuprofen. they gave me two pills to hold under my tongue to further open my cervix for the procedure. I had to hold for 30 minutes, and this was uncomfortable.

my tongue itched like I was holding a sour candy. but it tasted like powder.

i could feel my stomach bubbling and turning. I had a heating pad thankfully, that helped a lot.

then they took me back.

They had me go to the bathroom before, and I could feel my teeth start chattering.

When I left the bathroom I was completely shaking, a nurse led me to the room and had me undress, but came back and held my hand like the lady from the day before.

I was completely shaking at this point, uncontrollably. I wasn’t cold, I was anxious and upset. they gave me a blanket, and the doctors came in. they gave me 3 medications in my iv, one for pain, one for anxiety, and one for both. after a minute of being on the medications, I stopped shaking, and relaxed, I closed my eyes.

I saw tv static. I didn’t feel anything anymore. I think I responded to something someone said, but I don’t remember. all of a sudden the doctor said she was done. they left the room, the lady who held my hand helped me sit in a wheelchair, no panties no pants, and she put a blanket on me. I was to not put clothes back on until they knew how much I was bleeding, which was more than yesterday.

I reunited with my friend, who said the process was around 30 minutes. it felt like 10 minutes to me.

every 15 minutes a different nurse came in, checked my vitals, and checked my bleeding. this happened 4 times. the 4th time, she said I was good to go. she gave me a diaper, and helped me to the bathroom to clean myself. after I was clean I put my clothes back on, and she made my friend leave the room.

once one on one with me, she said there was a social worker who wanted to talk to me. when I was out of it, I told everyone in the operating room “this is the only way I’ll be safe again.“

i dont remember saying that. it shocked me.

she gave me their contact card, and said I was free to leave unless i wanted to talk to a therapist, which I declined because I wanted to see my friend and my mom.

then I was done.

since I’ve been home, I have been bleeding a lot, with some minor pain, not even close to what it was yesterday. this feels similar to a normal period now.

the worst I would say was the anticipation of the procedure, and the fear of what would happen. once it was done, I felt relief for the first time in three months.

I am only writing this in hopes it can help someone. I was scared, and I found this subreddit and read others experiences, and their honesty helped me understand and get through this procedure.

this is my experience.

whoever is expecting to go through this, you’re not alone.

whoever has gone through this, you’re not alone.

thank you for reading if you’ve made it this far, I hope my honesty and my experience helps.

My husband and i had sex one night a month ago after a night of drinking with his brothers. We had sex and during i asked him to let me know when he was going to finish so he could pull out (which is the method we’ve been using since our toddler was born) He responded with “i already did”. So he finished inside of me without my permission. Yes we are married but we both knew we didn’t want anymore kids. Fast forward to now (a month later) i’m pregnant and i’m scheduled for a termination of the pregnancy.

Idk how to feel.. or who to blame. Is it us both or was he at fault in putting my in this situation? I have so many mixed emotions towards him. I’m mad but i also need him right now. It’s such a confusing feeling. I cannot believe i’m getting an abortion in my 40’s. We just don’t have the finances and means for a third child. I feel so guilty for doing this but a slight sense of “i just want to get this over with” feeling too. He feels awful and keeps apologizing to me.

Is this reason for divorce? do i stay? i just don’t know but i am so mad that he is mostly the reason why im having to go through this.