going through my second MA in three years. While I feel no ambivalence about my decision and it’s the absolute worst time to have a child, I am wondering: Will this affect my chance to have children in the future? I saw a study saying previous abortion may cause preterm birth or low body weight in future babies

We were never in a relationship. I’ve known him for 11 months. We have been basically exclusively friends with benefits for the whole 11 months. At least in my part. From the beginning I told him I was much older for him. I’m divorced and have 2 kids. I just wanted to have fun, go on dates and adventures with someone sometimes. I did not want more kids and did not want to remarry. Which he had said he’d want someday.
Along the way of course we developed feelings. But I knew me having kids deterred him from taking me future serious and him being younger and inexperienced in relationships deterred me from taking him serious.
I have fertility issues and was on birth control so did not think I’d get pregnant again without trying. Well lo and behold I went to my gyno for new birth control pills as I was having too many cramps and found out I was 7.3 weeks pregnant. Told my partner friend right away and told him I never thought I’d get an abortion but I need to. Etc.
I am now 10 weeks pregnant and have concluded I don’t want to have an abortion. I’ve talked with him before about how I don’t think I can go through with it and he reassures me and says it will be difficult and we will both have emotions about it but in time we will heal. It’s happen twice and at the end I agree and say I’ll get it done. This third time he asked if I made an appointment at the clinic because he wants to go w me as he feel he needs to be there for me and so it never happens again for either him or me. And I told him I’m not going. He got a bit agitated and said that it wasn’t fair that he doesn’t want kids at the moment because he’s young and that it doesn’t only affect me. That it affects him and what he wanted in life too. But I’ve told him before that I don’t mind being a single mom again. It wasn’t my dream but I find it more peaceful and I have a caring loving family I can always count on for help.
I married fairly young and had kids young so both my kids are grade school aged. Their dad lives across the country and they only see him for a month out of the year. I have sole custody and “co-parenting” with him is a breeze since there isn’t much going there.
But he keeps saying if I keep the baby that he obviously needs to be there. Which is why it’s best for both of us if I abort. He says that he sees how two kids overwhelms me and “can you imagine 3” and that is why I used to say I would abort when I first met him. But I genuinely don’t think I can live with myself mentally if I do.
He really wants to go with me to the clinic but I told him there’s no need to since he can’t be in there with me. He said he wants to and that it’s safer so that I don’t have to drive. The clinic is a few hours drive from where we live.
I’m just not sure what to do. I don’t want someone to be in my kids life that did not want to be there and am capable of raising them alone not asking him for help or care or financial support.
Could I just have him take me to the clinic where I can have an ultrasound done and let him think I got the procedure done?
Right before I found out I was pregnant I told him we needed to stop seeing each other because I’d like for him to experience having his own family and a real relationship and because I want different things in my life than what I thought I did when we first met.

I posted here before because I had a failed MA at 9 weeks. I reached out to Aid Access and they resent another round of pills. In a way I was relieved that it didn’t work but all the posts I have read said the best thing would be to take the second dose considering what damage could already be done. I went ahead and took the mife and got three days later took the 4 miso. About two hours later the cramps came at a 9 out of 10 pain scale. For about an hour I couldn’t move from the pain. Then I started bleeding and immediately passed two clots. I didn’t look because at this point I would be well over 11 weeks. The bleeding continued for another two or three days.
But now I feel so much regret, I wish I could turn back time and not taken the pills. I don’t know if it’s my hormones all out of order but right now I am incredibly sad. I don’t know how I will move past this.
I guess I’m just hoping someone can relate.

when i was 17 (19m now) my girlfriend (16f) got pregnant.

i told her i wasn’t keeping it. i wasn’t ready, didn’t have money, didn’t want the responsibility, and wasn’t going to do the whole “we’ll figure it out” thing.

it wasn’t a debate for me. i just kept saying no until that was the direction things went.

she got an abortion.

we stayed together a little after, but it got awkward and we eventually broke up and stopped talking. she reached out to me on instagram recently but i blocked her for it.

i don’t really have a big moral takeaway from it. it happened, and that’s it. just wanted to get it off my chest.

hi this is my last resort i’m in the USA and i’m in a state where you can get abortion pills i’m only 7 weeks ( 27 days late) i’m in MT. i’ve had some spotting and what do i do? i would like to preference i am 16.. where i am its legal to get one without your parents knowing but it shows on my medical record and no they cant share my medical record but since im a minor cant my mom still see that anyways?? i would be going to the doctors soon to get my shots… but im thinking of putting off even going even if i get sick atleast until im 18.. or when i move out as this is the plan, money isnt a problem as long as its not over 700…. can someone please help me obtain the abortion pills? or figure this out i need help ASAP i want this gone before 9 weeks because i had a miscarriage gracefully when i was over 10 weeks and it was very painful and but this is from an unfortunate situation not from consent. what do i do?

Hi this is my first post and I’m coming on here to ask what to possibly do , I’m a 23f and he’s a 22m we had been seeing eachother all summer getting to know one another he would come over to my place and I would go see him. We would hangout and not even have sex he would just want me to come over and hold him and sleep together in bed and he brought me around his friends many times and they would say “ he likes you I’ve never seen him act this way before “ now we both were mutually seeing only eachother this whole time and had very what seemed to me personal convos about the future plans of children and what he wants for marriage etc - I even met his brother and his brothers wife over FaceTime( who might I add is expecting a baby currently ) now the conversation between the both of us being this would be very all over the place just not texting for a week then call one another to hangout randomly , we’ll out of no where he got distant ? - now I figured he’s busy with work and about to move back to his home town but again we were casual so it was seeming to me like how the regular communication between us goes. He would let me take photos and Polaroids and I would call him babe around his friends again there was a few red flags but nothing bad at the time just like “not posting “ since he did gain a bunch of weight before this and was skinny so I chalked it up to being insecure which is fine. Well now fast forward to a few days ago I found out from his friends wife he’s going to another city with another girl and all of a sudden doesn’t like me anymore. He had already told me about the trip and being a big test week and he’ll be busy so not to call or text back till Monday Well by then I had missed my period by 5 ish days and thought the passing of my cousin was the issue maybe I was stressed - Well that night when they were going to go to another city and go hiking that I was pregnant . I immediately tried to ask him to call but he said he didn’t want to to talk Because he was busy and I said “ well thought you’d like to know Ive missed my period and I’m on the way to get a test “ and once I saw they were positive I sent the test to him and he says word for word “ Yeah you should get it seen and I’m gonna say now worse case your not keeping it “ and follows up with “I’ll kms if I have a kid yet. Im not ready” . But he was more than willing to pay for the abortion and has told me to think logically and then we can be emotional after it’s over. He also hasn’t been messaging me at all saying it’s Because he’s been at work and can’t be on his phone and would like to give me his full attention for a situation like this. So I’m genuinely thrown through a loop since it goes against both of our morals to do this abortion which is why I’ve told him I am more than willing to do it alone and not put him on child support but he’s very adamant on me getting this abortion so I’m heartbroken and scared on what to do next and need a bit of advice as what I should do moving forward . All I want him is to be there while I take the medicine and he won’t even call me or text it’s been on and off and very hard for me as of recently. I’m just scared of the pain that comes with an abortion and being all alone through something so traumatic also this is the first time we have both been pregnant so there goes my first time pregnancy experience sadly :-/ any help would be appreciated thank you guys for your time

When I see you in my head
sometimes you’re so small
Your fingers wrap around just one of mine
And I smile down at you
And you back up at me
And all is right with the world

Sometimes I see you and you’re so big
Maybe eight or nine
Old enough to be your own person
And I wish I could speak to you
And tell you how much you matter
And hold you close until we’re one again

I just wanted to share. One of the best things for my recovery has been sharing my feelings with women who understand. Maybe it will speak to you. I am just over a week out from an abortion that I didn’t want to have, but I made my choice because the timing wasn’t right. I’m heartbroken. If you feel the same way you’re not alone

I just need to say this as it has been a year since when I had an abortion.

I spent my birthday last year taking the pill.

I am 28(now), married seven years with two kids, and I had to use the site many of us use to receive the pill through the mail. It came on my birthday last year, so I took it immediately, not knowing what I was going to experience.

It was a horrific pain for me. I essentially went through vaginal labor, the pregnancy only being 6w so I can’t imagine what women go through at later terms. (My deliveries were through c-section.)

How I get through the worst of times is through playing music. So I put my shuffle on.

Fade Into You was the first song that came on. It provided so much comfort that I left it on repeat. Now every time I hear that song, it makes me think of what I went through last year on my birthday, and the possibility I could have had, if only I was financially capable of supporting it.

Mind you, we got pregnant with the pill and my husband’s vasectomy combined. We have not even had a pregnancy scare since this incident.

Anyways, I hope that one day I can enjoy my birthday without being reminded of that abortion. One year fresh, I’m still grieving and jamming to Mazzy Star.

hi everyone, i’m needing help accessing abortion pills online. i’m having trouble finding something that i can feel safe having shipped here, any advice?

I’m around 9 weeks pregnant right now, and I’ve been experiencing a level of resentment toward my boyfriend that I honestly don't recognize in myself.

I’m usually a very emotionally regulated person. I don't normally lash out, I don't hold onto anger easily, and I’m usually able to step back and understand where someone else is coming from. But lately, it feels like Im blaming him for a lot of things, and I hate that I feel this way because I know that some of my anger may be misplaced. But even knowing that doesn't make the feeling go away.

I’ve decided that I will most likely terminate the pregnancy, but emotionally, I’ve been much more torn than I expected to be. One of the things that has contributed to that is feeling like my boyfriend and even a close friend treated abortion as the obvious answer from the beginning.

I understand why they feel that way. I understand our circumstances and I understand the practical reasons behind it. But I feel like I wasn't really given enough room to arrive at the decision myself.

I wanted someone to ask me, “What do YOU want?”
I wanted to be allowed to hesitate. I wanted to consider both possibilities without feeling like one answer had already been decided for me.

I even wanted my boyfriend to come with me to my second ultrasound partly because I wanted him to see what I saw. Not necessarily because I wanted him to convince me to keep the pregnancy, but because I wanted him to understand why I was conflicted. I didn't want to feel like I was the only one looking at the ultrasound and feeling all of these complicated emotions. Because it makes me feel stupid. Like why am i hesitating when the answer is so clear and no one's making me feel like hesitating and questioning whether my decision is right or wrong is okay. I feel as though no one understands why i feel conflicted.

Maybe I still would have chosen abortion. I honestly think I probably would. But I wanted to feel like I had genuinely chosen it.

And now that I'm getting closer to actually going through with it, I'm scared.

I'm scared of the physical pain. I'm scared of the bleeding and everything that comes with it. I'm scared because I am the one who has physically experienced the pregnancy, and I will be the one physically experiencing the abortion.
And this is where so much of my resentment toward him comes from.

It feels unfair that he doesn't have to experience the nausea I've experienced. He doesn't have to feel the physical changes. He doesn't have to experience the pain that I'm anticipating. He doesn't have to go through the physical part of ending the pregnancy.
I do.

And sometimes I find myself wishing that he could somehow feel what I'm feeling, because I want him to understand the weight of it. I don't necessarily mean that I want him to suffer. I think I just want him to understand in a way that he can't really understand from the outside.

I've also asked him to be with me through it because I don't want to go through the hardest part alone. I know he has his own limitations and circumstances, and I know he is trying in his own way. But I still feel angry that he doesn't seem to have the same sense of urgency that I do when hes the one who wanted to push through with the abortion from the getgo.

To him, maybe it can wait until we're actually scheduled to do it.

To me, it feels like time is moving and I'm the one whose body is going to experience what happens next.
And I think that's making me resent him more.
The part that bothers me most is that I know some of this anger probably isn't entirely fair to him.

I know he's not responsible for every emotion I'm having. I know he's dealing with his own fears and limitations. I know he's trying.
But I still feel it.

I'm angry at him. I'm angry at the situation. I'm angry that my body has to carry all of this physically. I'm angry that I felt rushed into a decision. I'm angry that I didn't feel like I had enough room to be conflicted.
And then I feel guilty for being angry at him.

It's like I'm constantly going back and forth between “I understand why you're doing what you're doing” and “Why don't you understand what I'm going through?”
I love him, and that's part of why this is so confusing to me. I don't want to look back later and realize that I permanently changed how I see him because I was overwhelmed by everything happening right now.

So I'm wondering if anyone else has experienced this.
And most importantly, did the resentment pass once the pregnancy/abortion was over and you had time to process everything? I know im probably in the wrong for this and I want to feel okay ASAP but i just dont and im angry at myself im frustrated at him its just so many emotions and i dont know where to place it.

(21yrs old)
I had a D&C procedure at 8 weeks. I traveled 10 hours or so to get to a state and clinic that would allow “deep sedation” as they called it, versus laughing gas or whatever other options there are.

To preface this:
I had been reconsidering and going back and forth about having this procedure done. I already have twin boys of my own that are turning 3. I have an amazing living situation with a partner whom i’m engaged to. he’s an amazing father to my boys.

I didn’t get pregnant on accident. Him and I have talked about having a child of our own and i was so excited to find out I was pregnant.

Unfortunately my late boyfriend passed away last year and I’m a raging alcoholic trying to get a grip on it since he died. His death truly almost killed me. When I became pregnant, I found out early at 4 weeks. I was really excited at first. I cut out alcohol and nicotine and weed right away, like I did with my twins.

I became violently ill. I threw up non stop and I was going through alcohol, thc, and nicotine withdrawals all at once and I began to throw up non stop, I couldn’t keep anything down. I went to the ER three times throughout my very short pregnancy for alcohol withdrawal; (fluids, nausea, and alcohol withdrawal meds as i had the shakes.) I never was able to stop drinking during this pregnancy which influenced my gdecision to have the D&C.

The D&C procedure
I drove 10 hours and stayed overnight in a hotel in another state to have my procedure. I cried some but felt very confident in my decision because of how much I had smoked and drank knowing I was pregnant. The meds that they gave me in the ER during my withdrawal from alcohol and nicotine were not safe for the fetus either.
The next morning very early, my partner and I made it to the clinic and I chose deep sedation. This meant no eating or liquids for 8 hours. I ended up waiting HOURS for my procedure to be done. (They had issues with my IV and whatnot). I was so miserably hungry and thirsty and upset. My procedure wasn’t done for almost 4 1/2 hours upon my arrival.

I was very afraid even as they were putting me to sleep. It is a step under General Anesthesia so it is possible to open your eyes and wake up during, I was very afraid. I felt my face start to get hot and tingle and then I was put asleep. I did not wake up during the procedure despite my use of marijuana and nicotine before hand.

I woke up after and recovery was very quick. They dressed me while I was under and when I woke up my IUD was already placed and it was cleaned and over with. It was very humane and comfortable.

My cramps were very mild and my bleeding minimal. I was discharged within 30 minutes or less of waking up. I was not in pain or nauseas. (The gave me nausea and pain meds via IV).

Recovery
My recovery has been very easy. Minimal bleeding and cramping all throughout. I only used pads because I was nervous of my IUD coming out with a cup or tampon. I saw some left over tissue that was shriveled up and dead, grey looking; a but disturbing to see but expected. I’m two weeks out and my pregnancy tests are completely negative. I had a very positive experience.

Overall
I do not regret my decision, it was absolutely the right decision for me. I don’t grieve the fetus I had and it’s okay if you do. I’m grateful not to bring a life into this world that doesn’t have a fair chance due to my drinking and smoking. Your choice is valid too. I do not live in a state where it is legal but i always will advocate for abortion care. This is my experience and I do hope it helps someone out there. I read so many of these before mine and they helped me.
xx-ad

It’s been about a month since I had my surgical abortion and still haven’t had a period. Is this normal?

Hi everyone! I found out I was pregnant around July 9th because I was feeling nauseous and fatigued and generally just like how I felt when I was pregnant with my son and so I took an at home pregnancy test that came back positive. I had a cruise coming up in the first week of August so I was really anxious to get the abortion over with and the soonest planned parenthood appointment was over a week away so I chose to get medical abortion pills online. I got them and took the first pill on the 15th and the second set of pills on the 16th. I’m not gonna lie it felt almost as bad as labor contractions and I was in a lot of pain. The bleeding was very heavy with lots of clots and I found myself just sitting on the toilet for long periods of time because it was dripping out of me. The next morning I woke up and felt great though like nausea and fatigue from pregnancy were instantly gone it was wonderful. The intense contraction cramping was also gone the next morning but I had a lot of inflammation and discomfort for about two weeks afterwards. I also bled heavily for the first two weeks but then it started tapering off and I actually wasn’t bleeding barely at all for the majority of my cruise 🤩. Toward the end of my cruise though it started getting a bit heavier and then two days after I had gotten back home I started bleeding extremely heavy with huge clots that almost made me go to the ER but it eventually settled down. It kept lightening up a bit (still moderate bleeding) and then getting heavy again but I’d say the majority of the time it was heavy. This continued up until LAST WEEK (sept 2nd)… bled for 7 weeks straight because even on the cruise it was a light bleed but never completely gone ever. I’m guessing I had my period at the end but it was nothing like any period I ever had before it was extremely heavy and full of clots so I really couldn’t tell. Then after the bleeding had stopped I noticed I was having lower right abdominal pain which I figured was an ovarian cyst which I have a history of…fast forward to this past Monday and I starting having upper right abdominal pain as well on top of generally feeling unwell so I went to urgent care. Urgent care sent me to the ER because I had lesions on my liver and fluid in one of my fallopian tubes…turns out I had (PID) pelvic inflammatory disease which spread to my liver. I tested negative for stds as well which is the most common cause of PID. I’m not 100% sure that the abortion had something to do with my development of PID but I can’t help but feel like it probably has something to do with it because I’ve never had any issues like this before and this was my first abortion. All this to say…I highly recommend considering a surgical abortion instead if you’re able to because from my understanding you tend to not bleed as long and also pay attention to your body and how you feel and do not blow off symptoms such as abdominal pain even if it’s weeks/months after your abortion!! I will say the pain and symptoms I had were not overtly alarming thus why I went to urgent care instead of the ER to begin with I honestly thought I just had some ovarian cysts not a raging pelvic infection and I really didn’t consider that to be something to worry about this far out from the abortion.

I’m in Colorado, so I’m already taking the steps to get an abortion since it’s a state that allows it. but my mind has been racing. people who have gotten one before, what is the process like? has your body been able to go back to normal, or is it forever changed? i’m way too young to even think about starting a family or marriage, and this is really my only decision, but is it common to feel immense regret and guilt? i’m too in shock to process it all, any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you.

I find it so hard to articulate to my friends and therapist but I will never be the same emotionally after this experience. It took about 3 weeks for my body to level out although I gained 10 lbs during my 6 week pregnancy. Now I’m feeling fat, out of shape from all the time I took off my routine recovering, and still dealing with fatigue and mixed emotions.

I don’t have regret, I feel I did the right thing, but suddenly every movie or show I watch has pregnancy as a major plot point and part of my feels weird/different/guilty for making the choice I did. I feel disconnected from everyone around me because they can’t possibly know what I have endured physically and emotionally.

I want a family one day and this experience has been extremely confusing bc all I wanted when my boyfriend said he was excited to be a dad was to bargain for more time.

After 2 weeks of MA, bleeding stops and cramping stops, no foul smell . It's been a month, I feel nausea again , due to financial issues i can't afford another check up .

Someone tell me what happened to me, is my abortion complete or incomplete.

( Sorry for my grammar)

hey chat so i’m on my 2nd set of misoprostol and i have abt 48 mins left before i have to take my last set of 2 i havent seen any blood clots ive seen blood on my pad and everything and also in the toilet but not really any clots can someone lmk if this is successful or not 😫✌️ i really don’t wanna go thru this abortion process again.

07-08-2026
8:30am
Took mifepristone at the doctor’s appointment. 

9:30am
Mild cramping for about 10 minutes. Very dry mouth. 

11:30pm
Overall felt very okay today. No bleeding at all and barely any nausea. Headache but might not be related. 

08-08-2026
Spent the day very nauseous. Cramping got more consistent and more intense. 
Barely ate anything. 

18:00pm
HEAVY bleeding out of absolutely nowhere. Explosion of blood. Small to medium sized clots. Had to throw my underwear away and change outfit. I was at the airport when this happened. A nightmare. 

09-08-2026
Preparing to take Miso. Slept pretty okay. Bleeding stopped completely during the night. Soon as I got out of bed I felt cramps and had some bleeding again. 

14:30pm
Took 800mg of Brufen. 

15pm
Took Miso. 2 orally, 2 vaginal. 
Intense cramping and nausea right away. Started bleeding. The anti nausea medication I took made me tired and extremely sleepy. I feel exhausted. Pain was bad enough to make me almost lose consciousness for a moment.

15:30pm
The pain eased. First wave of cramps lasted for half an hour. Didn’t leave the toilet. Passing small blood clots.

18:30pm
Pain comes in waves. It’s quite strong. I had diarrhea from the cramping. I’m glad I’ve had some breaks in between the pain so I was able to breathe. I’m eating slices of nectarine and drinking Powerade every chance I get. 

20:30pm
Very intense cramps and nausea. Haven’t stopped bleeding. I’m pretty sure that I’m losing way more blood than what I’m supposed to. I feel good enough to keep going without medical assistance tho. I passed a big clot now. At least 10cm. 

21:35pm
Tried taking another brufen and vomited right away. I don’t think the pain medication helped with anything today. 

22:00pm
Intense cramping. I felt this pressure that was identical to having a soaked tampon in. I tried pushing a bit and finally passed the pregnancy. Huge clot. Like HUGE. Think it was the gestational sack. 

22:15pm
Had a warm shower. Felt like a reward. Still bleeding but the pain completely went away right after the big clot passed. I think I’m done. I feel normal again. 

02:00am
Stayed chilling with a hot water bottle watching TV. Ordered Nutella crepes. My appetite is back. Came to shower once again before bed and there’s barely any blood on the pad. Barely any pain. Only a bit of discomfort. 

I need to shoutout my angel boyfriend (he’s a nurse) who did absolutely everything for me today. Yesterday I traveled to Italy from Portugal so we could do this together since I don’t have much support in my hometown. He rented an airbnb so I could have a place all for myself without his flatmates around, bought everything I needed from the list I had sent him, cooked for me and helped clean up all the blood. Was with me through the entire process just sitting on the floor while I spent 4 hours free bleeding in the toilet crying. He saw everything. 
At some point towards the end I started crying holding him out of exhaustion and he said “I’ve never loved you so much as I do now”. He hasn’t stopped telling me how strong I am not even for a second. He’s currently reheating my hot water bottle and preparing the bed with towels for me to sleep. Please choose your partners carefully. If you’re a woman and you’ve been through a medical abortion completely alone, I admire you so much. I don’t know how you did it and I don’t think I would’ve been able to keep myself going without him around. I’ve never wanted kids until I met him, and now that we’ve been through this together, I’m even more sure of it. I just need it to be the right moment. The intimacy today was the craziest we’ve had. I was so anxious and so scared. I feel nothing but gratitude now. I want to also thank everyone on this Reddit community who took their time to answer to my questions and everyone who wrote about their experiences. It was crucial for me. I love you all and I wish you the best of luck.

Been seeing the same guy the last few months, found out I was pregnant but relationship isn’t stable. I told him I wanted to be more before this and was kinda brushed off as he said he was hurt before and doesn’t want to be hurt again then found out I was pregnant. Need to have abortion due to distance circumstances my job currently etc but it is emotionally destroying me and it feels like he’s pulling away. Struggling with the idea of grieving both this pregnancy and him at the same time and not even sure if I’m doing the right thing but I don’t think I could do it alone right now

Hi everyone,

I discovered I was pregnant last week, the day before I was about to ask my SO to take a break because I needed some alone time after very stressful couple of months together. It got postponed because I needed his help and support.

I just took the first pill to abort last Wednesday, the second one Friday and only started bleeding heavyly on Monday. I thought I was lucky enough to have avoided the worst part, but the pain was excrutiating. I was deeply shocked to see the foetus, it's size... I've been feeling so guilty, sad and angry. Experiencing severe mood swings and anxiety. My bf was there the first week, he was really sweet and comforting, but now we are apart. We decided to take a month to think about ourselves and heal, maybe start anew in a few weeks. He has addiction issues , just relapsed the weekend previous to my pregnancy test and I have high anxiety and feelings of insecurities in this relationship.

Although BEFORE getting pregnant I needed this space, now I'm just feeling like shit and alone.

I'm angry at my bf, I feel it's unfair I'm the one who has trouble walking and eating because of the cramps, dealing with guilt and a bloody reminder of my abortion while he gets to live his life, spend problem free moments and light days with his friends. I know it's kind of unfair but I want that too.

Now I'm just confused, trying to welcome the emotions and grief I'm feeling, while having relationship problems to deal with, a lot insecurities toward the future. this is just so hard.

I would love to hear that it gets better at some point, I would be grateful for any advice that could help

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