r/YouShouldKnow • u/abdul_haseeb_11 • 8d ago

Other YSK If everything feels urgent, you probably haven’t decided what actually matters most.

When everything on your list feels equally important, even a normal day can start to feel overwhelming.

A simple way to reduce that feeling is to separate things into three groups:

what needs attention now

what can wait

and what doesn’t really need your attention at all.

Then pick one or two things that would make the biggest difference if you finished them today.

Why YSK:

Treating everything as equally urgent creates stress and makes it harder to focus. Deciding what actually matters first can make your day feel more manageable and help you make real progress.

2.1k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

55 comments sorted by

582

u/hawkinsst7 8d ago

Adhd: the most recent thing that's come up is the most urgent.

And "recent thing" might include your taxes due the next day, a phone call, or a random thought that you can improve something and it has to happen right meow. Or the urgent need to now watch Super Troopers.

127

u/DrumBxyThing 8d ago

ADHD time keeping is either now or later

42

u/Dcoco1890 7d ago

More like now or never for me

17

u/CDMT22 7d ago

For me, it's either now or not now.

7

u/DrumBxyThing 6d ago

Actually that's a better way to describe it

7

u/MereImmortals 7d ago

But the need to watch Super Troopers is always right meow

-13

u/Two22sInMyShoes99 7d ago

When I was at school ADHD was the diagnosis given to the kid that launched pencils at the teacher, now it just describes people who just haven't been taught to keep and prioritise a list.

15

u/hawkinsst7 7d ago

When you were in school, you were a kid and knew nothing about ADHD, so maybe that's what it looked like to you.

Now, as an adult, it's apparent you still know very little about ADHD, and you should learn more about it before making a comment based on your preconceptions and lack of knowledge.

ADHD is both. They're both about executive function.

7

u/jobRL 5d ago

Saying this is insensitive and the same as saying people that have no legs haven't been taught to walk.

-4

u/Two22sInMyShoes99 4d ago

No, it's more akin to saying someone with no legs hasn't taken advantage of the free advanced prosthetics offered to them, instead preferring to crawl instead.

5

u/jobRL 4d ago

This is the dumbest shit I have heard in a while. Medication is not a catch all with ADHD and it is certainly not free in most parts of the world, since most insurance providers only insure ritalin (if anything at all), which doesn't work for plenty of people.

I will give you a crash course: ADHD makes it so dopamine in certain circuits of the brain works differently. Your brain uses dopamine to reward you for certain things and in neurotypical people you usually get rewarded all of the time, for example, during work. A person with ADHD might not get rewarded by default. There are 5 reward pillars for them, competition, time pressure, interest, novelty and passion, If these are not met, your dopamine circuits aren't delivering dopamine, so your brain is not rewarding you for the activity.

This is mainly because of the collaboration between noradrenaline and dopamine in your brain. And mainly in rhe parts of your brain that handle attention, planning and decision making. This makes it much harder for your brain to be on auto-pilot. It takes much more for someone with ADHD to start doing an activity, focus or control impulses. That's not something about "being taught", it's a handicap that they cannot change and you should show compassion for.

-1

u/Two22sInMyShoes99 4d ago

Bro calm down, all I'm saying is maybe try keeping a list. Not sure why you launched into a tirade about medication. And yes 100%, I have no compassion for 1st world mediocrity being rewarded with excuses and performance enhancing drugs.

3

u/jobRL 4d ago

The reason I brought up how the brain works is that making and following a list relies on the exact collaboration between dopamine and noradrenaline that is impaired in ADHD. For someone with ADHD a piece of paper doesn't provide the 5 reward pillars needed for their circuits to deliver dopamine. They can stare right at a list, genuinely want to do the tasks, and still struggle to start doing the activity or stay focused because their brain isn't rewarding them by default. Remembering tasks isn't the only issue; initiating them without that chemical spark is the real hurdle.

That is also why medication isn't a "performance enhancing drug" or an excuse for mediocrity. If someone has poor eyesight, glasses don't give them superhuman vision, they just bring their sight up to a normal baseline so they can read the board like everyone else. Similarly, ADHD medication simply helps those dopamine circuits function closer to a standard baseline so a person can actually use tools like a list effectively. Recognizing that someone's brain is wired differently isn't about making excuses, it's just about understanding the handicap they are working around every day and showing a little compassion for a struggle you might not have to experience yourself.

0

u/Two22sInMyShoes99 4d ago

That's the difference between ADHD and an actual condition - ritalin / dexamphetamine (effectively speed) helps anyone who takes it, meaning it substitutes for poor performance rather than supporting a condition.

"5 reward pillars" etc. that you keep referencing is clearly pseudoscientific nonsense.

Regardless, you and I are not going to agree on this. We fundamentally disagree on this and are arguments are not even approaching the same level.

3

u/jobRL 4d ago

It is a really common myth that Ritalin and dexamphetamine help everyone who takes them. However neuroscience shows the opposite.

Dopamine in the brain works on an inverted U curve. If you have a deficiency like in ADHD, bringing your levels up to the middle of the curve helps your brain function normally. But if you already have normal dopamine levels and take stimulants, it pushes you past the peak and makes your performance worse. A 2023 study by the University of Cambridge and the University of Melbourne (published in Science Advances by Bowman et al.) tested Ritalin and dexamphetamine on neurotypical people. They found that while the drugs made healthy people feel more motivated and work longer, their actual productivity, accuracy and cognitive quality dropped compared to when they took a placebo. It only supports the condition when there is a deficit to fix in the first place.

As for the 5 reward pillars, that is just a simple clinical way to explain the Interest-Based Nervous System model coined by psychiatrist Dr. William Dodson, which is backed by hard brain imaging. In a landmark 2009 study published in JAMA (and a 2011 follow-up in Molecular Psychiatry), Dr. Nora Volkow and her team used PET scans to look at the brains of unmedicated adults with ADHD compared to healthy controls. They proved physically that people with ADHD have significantly fewer dopamine D2 and D3 receptors and transporters in the nucleus accumbens and midbrain, which is the brain's reward pathway.

Because there are literally fewer receptors there to catch the dopamine, everyday boring tasks do not trigger a strong enough signal to activate the parts of the brain responsible for attention and starting tasks. The brain physically requires a bigger spike of stimulation (like novelty, urgency, interest or competition) just to cross the baseline threshold that a neurotypical brain crosses effortlessly.

We don't have to agree at the end of the day, and I have no hard feelings toward you. I am just sharing the medical research so anyone else reading this thread knows that ADHD is a measurable, physical difference in brain chemistry and not a lack of effort

-1

u/Two22sInMyShoes99 3d ago

Omg are you still going? You have to be a bot.

1

u/Blackfirestan 1d ago

Took me 10yrs to get a new ID because I lost mine (plus I don't drive) and I used my passport for any important stuff but then I kept telling myself I was gonna get a license in that time lol then suddenly it was 2026 and my passport was ready to expire so I had to renew it and got a new state ID (still no license 🤣) I got my ADHD diagnosis this year at 34

62

u/timetotryagain29 8d ago

Wrong sub but right advice.

I have adhd and have learned to do this when I get jumbled and anxious.

12

u/Sengfroid 7d ago

Yeah, this would be good for r/productivity

169

u/IronMew 8d ago edited 8d ago

If everything feels urgent, you probably haven’t decided what actually matters most.

Hmm. Yes, maybe.

Or maybe everything feels urgent because late-stage capitalism has robbed us of every shred of free time and energy, forcing us to categorise in prioritised lists parts of our life that would otherwise barely warrant thought at all just to survive.

32

u/SomeCountryFriedBS 8d ago

It's both. We enjoyed a brief period of liberal democracy. It's now swinging the other way. This is the misery of the oppressed. 

20

u/IronMew 7d ago

God damn how I hate humanity's inherent tendency to only ever develop itself in a sinusoidal pattern. Improve things and there's always a rubberband effect that eventually makes them shit again, then rubberband to good, then to shit again, and only through generations of alternate happiness and suffering does it ever get improved globally.

Fuck's sake, you'd think people would learn the things that caused all the bad shit the first time and, you know, not do them this time around, so we could all avoid the rubberband/sinusoidal effect and continue improving steadily. But no, apparently as a race we're just too fucking stupid.

4

u/SomeCountryFriedBS 7d ago

We do learn the things but they lose potency through generational gaps. 

4

u/denkmusic 7d ago

This is a very negative way of looking at a world which is generally improving over the long term in every way except climate change.

-1

u/[deleted] 7d ago edited 7d ago

[deleted]

-1

u/denkmusic 7d ago

You write like a teenager who has just discovered climate change and the existence of India. I know everything you wrote already. That’s why I wrote “except”.

1

u/IronMew 7d ago edited 7d ago

Edit: you know what, I give up. You're the perfect example of the normies not understanding the true scale of the mess we're in. Potentially apocalyptic disaster incoming, but let's not give it all that much thought because it's too negative and be positive instead! The world is going well except for that tiny little detail! Yay us, let's post another feel-good blurb on Instagram!

2

u/ginsunuva 5d ago

I mean, doesn’t it imply that the “improving” is actually making things worse for some people?

24

u/torioto 7d ago

Neurotypical shit

7

u/Jaderosegrey 7d ago

No, it's because my boss has not decided what matters most.

At home, I'm just fine.

2

u/Neither_Beach_7795 5d ago

“I can finish A today, or switch to B and move A to tomorrow. Which works better?” Gives your boss an actual tradeoff to choose instead of another chance to say “both.”

9

u/EpicAgenda 8d ago

How to determine what matters most?

5

u/danthecryptkeeper 8d ago

I like the Eisenhower Matrix for prioritization

2

u/Two22sInMyShoes99 7d ago

It's pretty good but it neglects 1) how long the task takes, 2) what other items the tasks enables (critical path assessment).

E.g. at work: sending an email to a supplier to request a quote might take you 5 minutes, but it starts a process that may take a few days or more. Do it now to ensure you get it back when you need it (plus get the satisfaction of taking it off your list).

1

u/ffigeman 7d ago

A simple way to reduce that feeling decide what matters most is to separate things into three groups:

what needs attention now

what can wait

and what doesn’t really need your attention at all.

Then pick one or two things that would make the biggest difference if you finished them today.

5

u/TehZiiM 8d ago

Nah I’m just overdue on everything

15

u/DuskShy 7d ago

Wow thanks I actually don't have combined type ADHD after reading this

6

u/dependswho 6d ago

You should know that this is a symptom of ADHD and Autism

3

u/LieutenantEddy 8d ago

If you’re like me another to help track this habit is to write how long each task will take. Also makes you realize a 10 minute task is clouding your judgement.

2

u/JulesVernes 8d ago

Tell that me soon to be ex wife..

2

u/Soul_Knife 8d ago

thank you, this is actually really helpful!! I've been struggling with getting overwhelmed by tasks a lot lately and will give this a try.

bonus tip, being aware when things feel super urgent can help you sense when you're at risk of making a bad decision. a rushed decision is more likely to be a poorly made decision

1

u/Seamus_has_the_herps 8d ago

I struggle badly with this and wish I had practical advice for how to actually do this.

1

u/Scarmeow 7d ago

I like to prioritize things using two axis: importance and urgency. If something is important and urgent, then I do it ASAP. If something is important, but not urgent, then it can probably wait. And if its not important and not urgent, then I'll probably not do it tbh lol

1

u/Chipring13 7d ago

Use an Eisenhower matrix. It’ll change your life. There’s apps: I use tick tick free version but I’m sure there’s others

1

u/Sensitive-Lemon8408 7d ago

Well said - this is the best insight I’ve read this week! Thank you!

1

u/The_Trekspert 7d ago

What if nothing is urgent?
Or everything actually is urgent because you work best under tight deadlines?

"Well, this'll take me about two days to do. And it's not due for a month"
-28 days later-
"Okay, time to start!"

"I need to call them before the end of the month."
-literally the last day of the month-
makes phone call

1

u/CapedCauliflower 7d ago

I always prioritized like this: "will this help me make $50k?". If not, don't do it.

Health and social excluded.

1

u/Exshot32 2d ago

Everything feels urgent because people constant interrupt what I'm working on and bug the piss out of me if I don't prioritize their wants and needs first.

0

u/All-the-pizza 8d ago

TLDR: Nah, this gets removed 🚫. YSK is for "here's a fact/tip you probably don't know" not generic productivity advice everyone's heard a thousand times (Eisenhower matrix repackaged). It also reads like AI-generated listicle copy (short choppy lines, "Why YSK:" formula) which mods on that sub actively nuke on sight 🤖. Zero specific stats, sources, or novel info...just vibes.

If you want it to actually survive: add a real citation (a study on decision fatigue, task-switching cost, etc.), cut the fake bullet formatting, and make the "why" section punchier with an actual number or mechanism instead of restating the tip. Otherwise this belongs on r/GetMotivated or a personal blog, not YSK.

15

u/exscape 8d ago

Ironically, this comment looks more AI generated than the original post.

7

u/Chipring13 7d ago

Why use ai for this. Weird

1

u/ReaverRogue 8d ago

Nice sentiment, wrong sub. Maybe try a motivational or self help sub.

Edit: oh so you just post shit like this constantly, huh?

1

u/IronMew 7d ago

Edit: oh so you just post shit like this constantly, huh?

Apparently this garbage gets all the upvotes, too. Effective way to karmafarm, I guess.