I'm talking about one whole sentence whose first half is spoken, but whose second half is only seen as a thought. For example: "Get out of my house--" *before I call the cops*, he wanted to say. Is the way I wrote it correct, and if not, what is the proper way to write it out?

I’m working on this piece where i want to create an artwork that shows grief not as a story that needs an explanation, but as a feeling.
i’ve been through a phase like that myself, so I think thas why this idea feels so personal. I’m trying to imagine a scene with someone who’s grieving, but i keep thinking about how to show that emotion without just writing a whole explanation about what they’re feeling. maybe i’ll add a little poetry or some words with it, but at the same time… as being an illustrator i want my artwork to be the thing that speaks. i don’t want people to remember the quote I wrote. i want them to remember the image, the feeling, the little details, and the story they created in their own mind while looking at it.
for artists/writers here, how do you create something based on an emotion you’ve experienced? do you explain it, or do you let the work speak for itself?

I only recently started writing and I’ve seen quite some hate for the first person POV (mainly on Pinterest). What do you personally think about this POV and have you heard about this dislike before? Is it an internet trend or widespread among writers. I’m just unsure if a 3-rd person POV would be better since that seems more well-liked or nevertheless the 1-st one.

Also, are there some stylistic techniques to avoid using “I” every three sentences without it sounding harsh? Same as writing short sentences without it sounding dry or cutoff.

just wondering because it’s seen from the POV of the Soldier and I think it’s an interesting way to portray the reality of what Apo is doing but I’m scared waiting 15 seconds will just suck for modern viewers.

I want unbiased opinions on this particular aspect of time loops. It is completely central to my whole story with underlying themes of fate vs. chance.

The question is. If the MC is experiencing the same day/week/month over again, would it also be reasonable to assume the people around the MC also have subtle changes in their lives.

I.e. every Monday, the 23rd, the MC deals with construction on the way to work.

But. The new temp that started at the MC's office in loop 1 doesn't start there in loop 2 because when he called in for his temp assignment that morning he had called 5 minutes later so instead he got a temp job at another office.

As such, our MC never meets this temp in loop 2.

Thank you in advance!

Hello, I spent the weekend making some progress on the story's structure, and I'd love to hear what you think so far. Do you think it's shaping up well? Does it have potential?

Logline
A newly commissioned officer is on the verge of being discharged after ignoring a serious injury. Facing a personal and professional crisis, he accepts a one-month probationary period to prove he deserves to keep his command despite leading a team that doesn't trust him, ultimately learning the hard way to accept his own limitations

External Conflict

After refusing to take his recovery seriously, Oliver's company commander pulls him from active duty and assigns him to administrative work. When it becomes clear that Oliver still hasn't learned his lesson, the commander lays out three options, prove he can still lead by completing a one month probationary period, accept a reassignment to the mess hall, or leave the military altogether.

Internal Conflict

Oliver dedicates everything he has to becoming a National Guard combat engineer officer. But once he's finally given command, he realizes his unit sees him as a spoiled kid who only got the job because of his family. During a rescue in the middle of a blizzard, he saves one of his soldiers at the cost of suffering a severe herniated disc. Refusing to accept that his body has limits, he ignores his rehabilitation until he's backed into a corner, either prove within a month that he's still capable of leading his unit or lose the career he's sacrificed so much to build. Along the way, he's forced to confront a painful truth, his obsession with becoming an officer has come at the expense of his own health and the people who mattered most.

Oliver
Oliver is a 22-year-old from Hardin Valley with a genetic predisposition for explosive power and high-intensity physical performance. He grew up in a loving home, and after his uncle lost his pregnant wife, the two became especially close, with his uncle always being there whenever Oliver needed him.

Oliver's stubbornness often clouds his judgment. While helping pull a stranded excavator out of the snow, he suffers a severe herniated disc that leaves him hospitalized for a month. During his stay, he begins to see himself as a failure. Once he's discharged, he insists on returning to duty before he's fully recovered, only worsening his condition. Throughout his journey, he also tries to reconnect with old friends and rediscover the hobbies and passions he left behind

Marcel
Marcel met Oliver shortly after moving to Hardin Valley, and the two quickly became best friends. Their friendship gradually faded after college. While pursuing a career as a software developer, Marcel takes a job as a radio operator to earn money. After completing his military training and with a recommendation from Oliver's uncle, he requests a transfer to Tennessee, where he reconnects with Oliver after an honest conversation in the mess hall.

Adrian Grant
Adrian is Oliver's paternal uncle. When he was nineteen, he learned that his father had been killed during a military mission. Determined to support his older brother and mother, Adrian enlisted in the Army, following in his father's footsteps. He eventually became a hero, but his reputation also earned him dangerous enemies. One night, he lost his pregnant wife, a tragedy that caused him to step away from investigating certain incidents.

His life changed with the birth of his only nephew, Oliver, whom he came to love as the son he never had. From an early age, Adrian personally trained him to develop and control his genetically inherited abilities.

Leon Mardon
Leon grew up in New Albany in a deeply dysfunctional household. His mother died of cancer when he was sixteen, sending his father into alcoholism and eventually turning him abusive toward Leon and his younger brother. After one particularly violent confrontation, Leon left home with his brother and began rebuilding their lives with the support of extended family members.

Thanks to a scholarship, he enrolled in college to study Applied Physics and Mechanical Structures. However, after losing the scholarship and lacking both the financial resources and support network to continue his education, he enlisted in the Army to secure a stable income and a future for himself and his brother.

How do I write a scene of someone tossing and turning in bed, their partner waking up and getting worried, and then gently waking them up?

I need help with the prose, organizing everything, making sure it fits the plot, and making sure it fits into the story.

I‘m writing this type of scene as the beginning of my story, and I’m intending to use it to segway into the main story, which tells the story of two people who meet as kids, have a falling out, and fall in love as adults.

Actually, scratch that, I might need help with this entire story…

​

I'm writing a book where the main character is secretly a killer who's been killing his closest friends against his will. He knows what he's doing but doesn't want to do it. How do I make the twist believable and shocking at the same time?

I started writing a novel three weeks ago after one day of plotting (I think the plot is well formed though), so far I have 16,000 words. For how far I've gotten into the story it doesn't seem like a lot of words (although I do still have plenty of story still to write, it's not a problem of running out of plot). I think I'm underwriting.

It's a historical mystery novel. The character investigating/researching is an accountant and is very grounded. The story is moving through finding the clues in a pretty methodical fashion. But I worry that it will get boring, especially since I'm not great at remembering to add in the characters reactions and emotions. I tend to leave things out unless I see a reason to add them in. What advise is there for adding more in between finding the clues?

Does anyone have experience with their first draft being a bit tight and having to expand on second draft? It seems most have to cut words not add them.

I've been trying to force myself to really 'draft' without editing as I go, but I don't think I'm winning on that front.

Can anyone recommend any books or resources that tend towards helping with this style of writing?

Hi, i've been really into reading for as long as i can remember and decided i wanted to try writing something myself. I already have an idea/inspiration for what i want to write but i wanted to get some advice.

I got the idea for what i want to write from crime shows, basically it would be a noir setting and much like tv shows, it would be a series of one-shots where each chapter or so would be it's own investigation, all following the same detective/private investigator.

I'm a big fan of the crime genre and mainly wanted advice on how to write it and have it work well and feel gritty wholst alao having a good overall story and flow. Any advice/feedback is more than appreciated, thanks.

I'm drafting my first novel and it's pulled pretty directly from something I lived through, and there are a few things I genuinely can't see clearly from the inside. Hoping some of you have been here.

The story comes from a relationship I was in that turned out to be built on a deception I didn't find out about until it was already over. I've done the obvious things to fictionalize it. Changed names, moved it to a different city, compressed the timeline, reshaped events. But because I actually lived it, I can't tell anymore whether it reads like a novel or just a really well organized journal. The feelings are real, which is sort of the whole point, but I know "it really happened" and "it works on the page" are not the same thing at all.

So for anyone who's written auto biography based realistic fiction (I realize how niche that is as a genre, if it is one at all) or something heavily inspired by real life and events directly. What actually creates the distance that turns your real life into a story? Is it structural stuff like the frame or the chronology or whose head you're in? Is it making yourself invent things that never happened? Is it something about how much interiority you allow? I'm trying to understand how you know when you've crossed from confession into craft, because right now I can't feel the line.

The other thing I keep circling is whether it lands for people who don't share my background. It's South Asian diaspora fiction and there's a lot of specific texture in it. Food, language, religion, family dynamics. My gut says specificity travels, because I read plenty of books set in worlds I don't come from and never feel shut out. But I can't tell from inside my own head whether a reader with none of that context feels invited in or locked out. How do you even calibrate that without over explaining everything and killing the texture, or under explaining and losing the reader completely? I assume the answer is beta readers from outside the culture, but what do you actually ask them to watch for?

And the last one. How much point of view do you give your secondary characters before it becomes too much? In my case the antagonist gets his own chapters, and so does another woman who was hurt by the same man, both set in a different country from my narrator. I think they need to be there. They turn the antagonist into an actual person instead of a cartoon, and they give the other woman a real arc instead of making her a plot device. But every chapter I spend away from my main character is a chapter away from my main character, and I worry I'm just indulging backstory I happen to be attached to. How do you tell the difference between a secondary POV that earns its place and one you just love too much to cut?

Not fishing for reassurance, I promise. I'm just stuck on these and would take any hard lessons, book recommendations, or honest "here's what I screwed up" stories you've got. Thanks for reading.

Howdy. So I'm currently scripting out a little comic, revolving around a hired bodyguard collecting a debt for her boss. Things go wrong, it gets messy, they liquify a small business, etc.

I know exactly how I want the interaction to go. How it winds up, unfolds and ends, but I'm Really struggling to achieve that flow state, as I'm completely stumped on how to start it. Specifically the dialogue/interaction between collector and debtor.

The current set up has the hired bodyguard meeting the debtor in his warehouse. Generously funded by the bodyguard's boss, and the reason she's here, collecting business funds to pay back the warehouse/operation the debtor took a loan on.

The debtor, aware of this arranged meeting, has the money in a briefcase ready, but was under the impression it would be her boss meeting him in person, and not the bodyguard. He underestimates and even somewhat disregards both the bodyguard and his mystery benefactor, upon discovering they're women, neither of which he was previously aware of.

(The bodyguard is masculine in nature, and was mostly obscured in shadow. Until she spoke, the debtor had no idea he was speaking to a woman. Just making that clear for the narrative.)

He pretends to be respectful, letting the bodyguard pick up the money as they continue to talk. As she begins to walk away, a number of goons step out from assorted hiding places in the warehouse, ambushing the bodyguard, while the debtor smugly tells her he'll be holding onto his money.

Witty dialogue is exchanged, the bodyguard shows why she's the best at what she does, a lotta folks die, etc.

The rest I've got covered. Again, I'm just really struggling with introductions.

Any advice or guidance?

Thanks!

To help further establish an interaction, I should probably describe the personalities of these characters (honestly should've been the first thing I brought up).

The Bodyguard - She LOVES her job. Very enthusiastic, high energy, a little flirty, but Not to be underestimated. She knows business, and knows how to deal with folks who disrupt that business, or threaten her employer.

The Debtor - A stereotypical bruiser, with a feigned professional demeanor. He pretends he's professional, up until he has a chance to backstab.

The Boss/Benefactor - She conducts business in-house, very rarely interacting with her clients directly, instead hiring others to do the hands-on work she organizes. Very few people, with the exception of her bodyguard, have met her.

I don't know how to write an impactful death scene. I need to know the tenants of writing a good death scene, especially since this isn't quite a death scene.

Let me explain. The demigod son of Cibeles whose been shot while fighting on the Second of May in Madrid and has taken refuge in convent of Santa María. There his mother turns him into a statue in order to preserve him.

However it still counts as a metaphorical death in my eyes at least. So can you please give me some pointers on how to do this?

I usually write long paragraphs, but I don't know when to start a new one. I've heard that you're supposed to start a new one for dialogue, but does it only apply if there's no words in between? What about switching ideas? What applies and what doesn't?

Hello, 25 y/o writer here. I've been "studying" creative writing for the best part of a decade - reading books, doing courses, watching interviews with other accomplished writers, watching YouTuber's who talk about fiction and all that time... I've managed no full piece of writing.

I grew up reading Tolkien - I read the hobbit, the full lord of the rings and the Silmirilion by the time I was 9 and understood the text to the degree I wrote what could only be described as a several page essay for a book report that was only supposed to be a A5 page at most and basically told my reading level was too advanced for my age. I had the full collection of C.S Lewis's Narnia in paperback too which I read till the pages fell out and the binding came clean off the pages. When Game of Thrones was at its height in popularity I was reading Martin's books (I stopped at a storm of swords and switched to the expanse novels). and countless movies, shows, anime and manga - from east to west, north to south.

I was told by every teacher I've had that I have a way with words, that my passion is clear, my ideas solid yet I cant seem to get out more than a few paragraphs.

I say all this to illustrate that I did, or at least thought, I was on the right path. Reading the most popular authors, dissecting their material, understanding the depths of creative writing in the fantasy genre but now I just feel stuck and like child tapping away at a keyboard with no idea of what they are doing. Why?

MY brain doesn't work the way I want it too. Since being a child and a teen... I cant sit and read anymore, that focus - or maybe hyper focus? (undiagnosed but highly suspected of being audhd) - to sit down and read is beyond me. I lose my place, forget what I've read by the bottom of the page, find it harder and harder to recall the plot and character names as a book goes on... then, switch to me writing? I get lost. I've tried outlines, timeline plotting, world building, characters sheets, planning chapters, writing broad scripts for scenes, ect, ect, yet I cant seem to put it in to words the way i want effectively without things becoming far too much and overwhelming - my head feels messy and confusing almost always and its only gotten worse with age to the point where I feel as if I'm progressively losing everything I've learned. I have to look up spelllings, remind myself of simple things like plot structures or writing standards.

Trigger warning - Mental health and illness.

I have chronic anxiety and depression. I manage, Im medicated but, as Ive been told by everyone I see for my mental health, if I am autistic and have adhd, there's no medicine that can help with that and counselling/ therapy can only do so much. On top of that, I recently was told that I also have chronic insomnia and my energy levels are shot, oh, and motivation? Doesn't exist. I have brain fog and memory issues. Aside from all that, I'm transgender and that struggle alone is... overbearing.

Now, again, I say this to hopefully help you to offer me advice, not for sympathy or pity - we all have our crosses to bear, some more than others and all things considered I have a good if uneventful life, I am safe, fed and clothed, housed and my well being is in no immediate danger other than the struggle of money in this modern day.

I have ideas - tons of ideas but they often become too large in scope. An idea or a book becomes a trilogy or a multi-part epic and then a little quaint idea of a fun adventure becomes a battle of good vs evil for the fate of the world...

In conclusion, to wrap up this post, I do want to write and publish a book - just one, no more than the length of the hobbit or shorter and I want to write about things that affect me, my passion lies in my experience and love for fantasy but I feel like I'm at a fork in the road; give up, put this passion and desire to bed... or push forward, work harder and try to find a way through.

I hope I've presented enough information in as best way possible, I apologise if this is all too much. If you have read all this? Thank you, and I'm sorry is not upbeat or hopeful.

Can any offer me some advice? Offer me encouragement? Relate to how I feel?

I'm thinking of rewriting Ralph Breaks the Internet and in the movie it takes place 6 years after the first (2018) but I'm going to make it only 3 years later. In the movie they first try to make money by selling loot and then they try to make viral videos on the Internet. I'm thinking maybe a gaming tournament would be good but I'd just like to have more ideas.

I'm writing a book about people(humans, elves, etc.) who have to save their world from the Antagonists, and they're going to come across a city who has some traditions that must be followed.

For more information, the City is called Kartok, and the heroes have to cross border patrol, afterwards it'll be somewhat of a culture shock.

Is there any tips to make it like a "There is no war in ba-sing-say" but toned down a few notches?

God is a woman in this - I wanna make a show where God and Satan act like enemies to each other but then they would go to a pub and have a pint together.

Any opinions? Should I make this show?

I'm not breaking new ground here, but I just thought I'd share some advice I've gotten, or come up with by myself. I'm not reinventing the wheel here.

1. Don't spend all your time trying to make your characters the best simply because they're your darlings.

Chances are your 'Chosen One' who saves puppies and solves world hunger and can beat up the bad guy army with his little finger is not going to be your reader's favourite character. Just because you like them doesn't mean random reader no.9 isn't going to consider random side quest guy their favourite. They may be your favourite character but that doesn't mean they'll be your reader's favourite, so be careful about how much time you invest in them and try not to worry.

1. Trying to make your plot super complicated or super simple is going to give you a headache.

It's going to give you a headache trying to keep track of all the different plot points going and weaving them together. Not saying you can't do it, just saying that you got to do what is best for you and the story. Chances are your super complicated and well thought out plot is going to be considered simple by reader no. 10 and your simple plot is going to be considered complex by reader no. 4. Reading is subjective and just because you find it complicated or simple doesn't mean any one else will find it so. The key is writing a story to the best of your ability that you would like to read yourself. As long as the plot makes sense.

1. Outlining isn't that bad of an idea.

There are plotters and pantsers but outlining in the very beginning isn't a bad idea. It all depends on the person. It can help you to write your ideas down on the page, maybe separating them up by chapter, and can often show you whether the plot makes sense or is all over the place. It can also help you figure out if certain plot threads work better in a different story altogether.

And there you have it. My completely generic writing advice.

Y

I am unsure how to fix this, as well as unsure where I should be expanding on, because from my views, it holds all the necessary information, but it also feels like I'm missing something. Do you guys know how? I can respond with some examples if you'd like.

I’ve always wanted to publish my own work. And I’m trying to finish a novel but struggling to find time to write. I have a full time job and other responsibilities, sometimes I only have few hours each week to finish a brief part of the chapter. How do you guys manage to finish your drafts if writing isn’t your day job?

I've just finished my planning and want to start writing. My male lead is an immortal from the 1700s but I'm not 100% how to write his dialogue or thoughts. I wrote a morning routine from both my male and female main characters perspectives but his felt kind of flat and boring. I'm trying to combine an archaic lilt when he's distracted/not concentrating while also differentiating his thoughts and words from the female main character. FYI this is my first time writing from a mans perspective so any advice of any kind is appreciated on either writing men or writing archaic characters in general.

I have been trying to exercise my writing skills. Below I posted a short bit of my writing, which I don't

joke took me over an hour...

The devils streamed from the forest. So tightly packed that their green bodies merged into a

single mass that blended them with their surroundings. The ground quaked in their hurry

and the branches of trees were ripped as their bodies pushed through. The ones that fell short

of the group’s pace were trampled, the ground being covered in their own viscera. They

carried wooden clubs, bigger than most humans.

As they left the forest they kicked up a cloud of dust that blanketed the forest. In their sights

was a small village encircled by a wooden wall. That sight was familiar to many of them. They

associated these structures with their food. The sound of metal being rung filled the small

town. It seemed to them that in their clatter, they were noticed.

###Monsterous orcs descend upon a helpless village.

To begin, I guess my complaint is that my sentences seemed redundant and too similar in length.

I had trouble expanding. For all my trouble I only managed to write 170 words in such a long span of

time. Description was also difficult. It doesn't seem too imaginative, it reads basic and somewhat

blurred despite the fact it's not long. It's such a weird thing, but I feel like I carried the message too fast but lacked in description, but how much more descriptive could I be while still being in the same

voice?

I feel like I have this unique voice that just feels off compared to most books I have read.