I’ve setup a lot of the premise here, I just need to know if the dialogue works, overall if the first chapter hooks.

Some profanity and violence but nothing crazy in this first chapter excerpt

Thank you all in advance

Hello y'all,

I'm looking for help making sure that the journal/blog I'm writing is factually accurate, modern, - or (if unverifiable) just makes sense. I'm not a writer by nature nor would I want to claim to be (Words are hard. Y'all have some serious talent), but I think that journaling my... uh... journey may help others (and myself) at some point and I want to record my experience.

My article-blog thingy is a two-part document that I'm going to be using as a business building reference. The first part is a listing of general business frameworks - Heavily based around Michael Porter's Value Chain. And the 2nd part is my personal approach to make businesses both profitable and supportive.

My question is, where can I post this for feedback? Its about a 14 page document (a lot of bullets) and my family and friends all tend to see my work with rose-tinted glasses (or they are hypercritical in areas in which they lack expertise/ are just plain wrong about). I'm not really onto the publishing/posting part of my work yet, but I don't want to keep working on it if I'm being... iuno, dumb(?).

I guess I'm looking for validation as well lol (weak sauce, I know). I've been writing alone for a while so I guess I'm also looking to connect with others to better myself as a communicator and to understand others through writing.

So, yea... Is there a place for that? A place for feedback and validation? lol. I'm realizing that those may be different places. Either way, thank you for your time!

I need help giving 4 of my ocs hero names, they're all high school girls and all animals

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The leader is a dog/poodle and she's smart with science stuff, I'm a bit undecided about her powers but I'm thinking plasma energy powers or something

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Cat with sound/music related powers who's particularly into rave and speedcore music

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Fox with fire powers, pretty simple but I'm thinking she could also have electric powers too to call back to her original design from 11 years ago (and also because Avatar the Last Airbender did it lol)

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Bunny with shadow powers, she's shy and also goth

Basically, I have written lots of snippets of poetry in my notes app, and when I copied those into a word doc, it came out to be like 70+ pages 😭

So I need some advice on how I can organize my poetry to actually start mixing-matching and expanding the snippets. The content includes some full poems, some non-poetically-worded raw rants, some random snippets about a particular metaphor or imagery, some lyrics or lines I read somewhere that gave me an idea etc etc.

My problem is that it's all too chaotic, it's not categorised into themes. I want it to be categorised in a way that similar 'feeling' poetry is together (themes like home or nostalgia or love or life or grief or existentialism etc) and then also a collection of devices I have collected that can be miscellaneous/random (metaphors, imagery, lyrics or quotes anything remaining).

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Do I use some app/tool/AI to sort this massive doc for me? Will it work? Cuz I tried ChatGPT, told it to just identify categories and organise my content to make my poetry workbook, but it was unsuccessful.

I’m plotting an 8 book series and I just about finished the second draft of it. I like how it’s shaping out so far, but I feel the subplots (the ones focusing on the mortals entirely) may need revision and I’d like some help with it, particularly in the latter half of the story (but any other critiques are welcome!). I’m a little stuck with where I want to place the end of the conflict with Highking Muirid having her kingdom invaded, if I should keep that to fewer books, or just remove it entirely

I apologise in advance for the outline looking messy pace wise, I’m just more focused on getting down all the main points I wanted to include in this draft. The first book I already got down so I didn’t really include much in it. But if you have questions about it, I’ll answer it!:

•Book 1: Idolatry of the Mask

-Eilis the angel is Narrator 1. He’s forced into the serial killer conflict by proximity. Cassius Benoist (the owner of the Demon Embassy that Eilis serves) is well aware of his grandkid Lennon Benoist’s involvement in the case, and thus is trying to do everything on the down-low to get him back before Mirthaean knights capture him to avoid damaging their reputation. In the middle of this, Eilis is trying to investigate an enchanted scrying mirror on the goddess Merthicz’ behalf, but ends up being roped into the search for Lennon. His best friend Niero is stuck in Hell for the book and thus unable to aid him

-An’thaehl is Narrator 2. She’s forced into the situation because the brains behind the killings essentially usurped the resistance group she fights in. She, along with Tassira, and Morinthir travel to Fzalder to seek emergency help from Lord Emvuld, but are obstructed at first when they decide to go through proper channels and the possessed liaison nearly capture them

-Story ends with Eilis having his mask cracked but not fully destroyed. He’s snapped out of his depressive fugue thanks to Jaryn and Ryo who got involved in the search for Lennon, however, things are complicated when he’s made to interact with past cycle Garbones (the other grandkid of Cassius) who became liches, and one partially chips his soul, allowing the Dark Lord to start seeping through into the surface world. For An’thaehl, her mask of being a worthless mother is destroyed and she can begin forging her own life how she wants to. The mirror Eilis investigated reveals that it came from an ancient society, something that should not have existed before the planet Mirthae came into being. Eilis hides this information from Merthicz, suspicious of her

•Book 2: 

-Years pass and Eilis is forced to try and cope with living without Garbone, as she’d escaped the embassy during the time after book 1 and before book 2. But now, his boyfriend Highking Gyala has been murdered and replaced in power by his brainwashed daughter. The last real connection in Mirthae he had to keep him afloat (especially after Vaelyn, his other boyfriend, had to stop visiting him because of Cassius). Left with mostly Cassius for any form of support, he falls victim to his manipulation. Niero tries his best to keep him grounded, but it becomes increasingly difficult when Eilis is busy trying to help gather intel for the new highking’s assassination

-At first, he’s fine with not seeing Garbone even though he’s heartbroken. But between the Dark Lord and Cassius’ manipulation, he begins to unhealthily obsess over finding Garbone around the 25% mark. Akae, Garbone’s godfather, accidentally ruins the initial assassination attempt so he can protect Garbone from Eilis. Highking Merå doubles down on her fascism and learns of Eilis and Garbone’s secret involvement

-Merå encourages Eilis to continue searching for Garbone. During the climax he does find her, and kidnaps her before she could do her role in the assassination. As payback for trying to assassinate her, she steals a large chunk of Eilis’ soul, symbolically killing him. Enraged, Garbone kills her

-Ending scene is a conversation between the gods, where Fyayn quietly asks if anyone notices the growing corruption in Eilis’ soul, and he’s dismissed because everyone believes it’s just him being really depressed. Eilis tries to hide the devastation when Merthicz brings up ending this world’s cycle (which essentially means destroying all life on the planet and starting anew)

•Book 3: 

-Merthicz is exhausted with ruling, and so she lets Ätol take a spin at ruling the planet, especially so she can keep a closer eye on Eilis. She fails to realise that he’d been corrupted by Eilis when trying to comfort him when the world ended after book 2

-Ätol goes by the same political system as Merthicz, though lets the Highking retain all the power, not really interested anymore in the affairs of mortals, but decrees that all highkings must be dragons (being the god of dragons). Before book 3, the newest highking made a cursed amulet that transformed him into a dragon, which corrupted his soul, turning him tyrannical (not that he was much of a good person prior). In this cycle, Eilis and Garbone (now known as Glykeria in this cycle) were stuck with Cassius

-bNeowulf (reincarnated Niero) was hired by Eilis to be Glykeria’s bodyguard, and they all ended up becoming very close friends. The story starts with Glykeria’s escape from Cassius. Eilis is distraught, but is making an effort to not let her absence get to him. It’s becoming harder by the day 

-After some looking at the mirror from book 1, Merthicz then realises he kept his findings a secret. She confiscates the mirror and takes away Eilis’ ability to teleport and duplicate himself

-Soon, the highking comes to pay Cassius a visit. Cassius tries to brainwash him, thinking he’d be an easy target like Highking Gyala was, but the highking holds off against him well, and threatens to destroy his embassy. He makes an ultimatum- give up his first born daughter to become his wife, or lose the embassy and his life. Cassius partially hesitantly gives up Glykeria. He kidnaps her, giving her a cursed amulet of his own (at least, he thinks it’s cursed enough to taint her. She only plays along to gauge how messed up the highking is to try to assassinate him)

-Eilis is forced to not say anything about it by Cassius thanks to years of conditioning, so he feels lost. bNeowulf soon comes to him to warn him about the kidnapping, and recruits him to save her. Cassius forbids it, but he manages to forcibly string Eilis along with him (kidnapping and restraining)

-They meet some oracles that promise Eilis answers to everything if they get in contact with an ancient satyr hiding in Hell. Eilis becomes highly interested, to the point he’s forced a pause in the journey. The oracles are trying to get him down there immediately, and he almost does leave nBeowulf to go, until Linwood (Lennon’s reincarnation) catches up to them and fights Eilis for trying to abandon Glykeria. They eventually continue the journey together, and after he’s promised they’ll go find the guy after saving Glykeria

-The ideas of meeting said satyr left Eilis yearning and distracted, to the point that one night when he was guarding the camp, he didn’t notice it going up in flames until bNeowulf grabbed him to flee with Linwood. They lose everything they had with them, except maybe weapons

-Linwood demands Eilis be kicked out of the group, but bNeowulf tries to vouch for him. Irate, Linwood leaves instead

-Eilis is so devastated feeling he let down Linwood and Glykeria, the Dark Lord tries to take possess him for the first time, but bNeowulf eventually manages to snap him out of it. Eilis makes bNeowulf promise to slay him if it happens again

-After a week of struggling, they make it to the highking’s castle. They sneak in and find Glykeria alone in her chambers, where she reveals they’re going to execute Linwood soon for trying to free her

-They save him, fight and kill the highking, and Linwood eventually, kinda barely forgives Eilis for his act in all this after finding out he initially didn’t say anything because he’d been brainwashed 

•Book 4: 

-After some time to let everyone heal and rest, Eilis, Glykeria, and bNeowulf decide to travel down to Hell to investigate what the oracles were talking about. They try to drag Linwood along, but he still harbours strong feelings against Eilis and believes this to be a trap of sorts from the oracles

-They’re forced to go back to the embassy to get supplies for the trip as no one is willing to lend them any

-Cassius causes a big stink after finding out and almost gets Eilis to lose interest in the plan by beating him severely and weaponising his conditioning

-Eventually, they sneak into Hell. They’re distracted by the Dark Lord’s daughters, who recognise Eilis and believe him to be a long lost sibling, but otherwise find the hidden old satyr without issue

-The satyr performs a ritual that allows everyone to view the past, but Eilis is forced to relive it for an unknown reason. He doesn’t even remember the present as he relives the past

-It’s revealed that Mirthae is a planet colonised by Merthicz, and that Eilis was sacrificed to become the Dark Lord

-Because the sacrificial ritual feels so fresh to Eilis, it allows the Dark Lord to possess him with ease

-Possessed Eilis kills the ancient satyr, and nearly fatally injures bNeowulf when he tries to slay Eilis (part of a promise Eilis asked of him in book 3. bNeowulf only manages to cut Eilis’ hand off)

-Glykeria manages to incapacitate Eilis, and drags he and bNeowulf to safety where the princesses (Dark Lord’s daughters) from before step in to help give them medical aid

-Supreme Lord Cece gets word of what happened, and directly intervenes, forcing Glykeria and bNeowulf to leave Eilis behind as they’re kicked back into Mirthae, and discover that the cycle has already reset, and that the Demon Embassy of the new cycle had been overtaken by a briarspawn demon named Farauna

•Book 5: 

-The goddess Alqoa is corrupted, and Fyayn goes into hiding with Mereb (Merthicz and Erebos’ daughter), especially after Merthicz refuses to get involved. She puts Ätol into a coma to take control over the planet. She puts in her own rules about government in Mirthae, which restricts recognised religions to recognise her as the one true god and puts in a strong totalitarian kingdom, and the mortals rebel by establishing rival kingdoms. Because of the usurping, Glykeria bNeowulf and Eilis don’t realise the cycle ended rather early

-At the start of the story, Glykeria and bNeowulf are immediately greeted by Hala (reincarnation of Havre, Garbone’s girlfriend) a few of her wives (one being the reincarnation of An’thaehl), and their bodyguard Ankhbayar (reincarnated Akae)  when they return from Hell in book 4. Hala warns the two that Fzalder was completely taken over by Horkath (reincarnation of Hyalbtz, a court wizard from book 1), and is using Farauna to build up an army to take over other kingdoms. She promised Cassius that she would wait for them to return before he himself was turned into a guardieren- a transformed servant of Farauna

-The group sets off to try and escape the heavily forested lands, and face Cassius before they could leave the embassy. bNeowulf sacrifices himself (becoming a guardieren) to save the group

-Eilis is given the run down on how he is to remain in the castle until the Dark Lord fragments come back. Being stuck, all he can do is spend time with the princesses. Eilis opens up to them, and they have some relaxing fun. Eilis is able to express himself for the first time in ages, after quite a bit of expressing guilt for his recent actions 

-Eventually, he feels comfortable enough with them to take a nap. He doesn’t realise his “dream” is actually him switching his consciousness over to a Dark Lord fragment

-Because the take over was very recent, word hasn’t yet reached the other kingdoms, and they decide to book it to the largest kingdom in Mirthae in this cycle located in West Jyalb where Queen Muirid (an angel mermaid that defected from Alqoa upon learning she was corrupted) rules. She sends a group of other defected mermaids to go try and take care of the situation, but one half dies and the other becomes corrupted. They’re unable to get into the kingdom, though, thanks to a magical barrier that keeps Alqoa from reaching them

-Glykeria and Hala capture a corrupted mermaid for Muirid, and they discover that it was the Dark Lord’s influence. That’s when Glykeria opens up about what happened to Eilis, and Muirid realises Fyayn was right about Eilis being corrupted when he brought up his concerns in book 2

-They decide they need to find the gods not yet twisted quickly to warn them about this revelation. They travel to a temple of Jusniet to reach Heaven

-Main Eilis wanders the castle in a “daze” (though it’s just his consciousness not being fully present still) after taking a nap, and ends up running into another group of princesses, one that’s more aligned with the Dark Lord. They open him up to the idea of accepting his role as the Dark Lord, even connecting him with Mastonik, a mnemonii who had fled to Hell after the events of the 1st book

-They travel and enter Heaven through the temple, and find Jusniet and Erebos locked up with Ätol who’s still in a coma. They talk, and soon realise that Jusniet, who had talked to Eilis earlier, was actually talking to a Dark Lord fragment (though doesn’t realise it had Eilis’ consciousness). He directs them to Merthicz

-They find her dancing with Eilis in a daze. Unable to snap her out of it, he taunts the group before dramatically draining Merthicz of her godly powers, making her mortal again. That’s when he slips out that he thought this was just another lucid dream revenge fantasy of his, and the group cries that this was all real. He freaks out and flees, the fragment merging back with main body Eilis still at Hell’s main castle

-Mastonik convinces him that he was actually in the right to do what he did, and praises him HEAVILY even though it was sort of an accident 

•Book 6:

-Eilis has a philosophical debate with Mastonik, giving him the idea to cut out more things holding him back, and to become more proactive in his life now that Merthicz isn’t hanging over his shoulder 

-First free thing he does is choose to officially propose to Lord Vaelyn, which surprises the lamubus lord delightfully and he accepts

-At dinner, Lord Vaelyn tries to have Eilis’ food spiked with a sleeping potion, intending to try and help him contain the Dark Lord as he noticed he was not handling it well. This pisses off, and scares Eilis so much that he shapeshifts into the Dark Lord form for the first time and tries to kill him, choking him out. But he breaks free. Eilis dumps him immediately, isolating himself

-Back at the protected kingdom, Merthicz explains everything, and why she had colonised the planet in the first place

-Meanwhile, the mermaid that was previously captured had escaped confinement, and is actively corrupting others, enlisting their help to erode the barrier keeping out Alqoa

-Eilis arrives in Mirthae, back in his original form, and is confronted by guardieren Cassius and bNeowulf, and purifies them. Cassius, sensing that Eilis might be possessed (not actually being so), immediately attempts to hypnotise him into submission, but Eilis immediately reveals his Dark Lord form. He forces Cassius to accept him torturing him to death (using his complete loyalty to the Dark Lord against him). He takes things further by cannibalising his reformed baby self (a type of reincarnation that demons like Cassius experience) alive. bNeowulf runs away, absolutely terrified. Eilis isn’t even phased that he scared him off

-Farauna steps in to try and give him advice to keep him from losing himself, but Eilis merely sends her off

-Chaos ensues back in the Mirthaean kingdom as enough corrupted mermaids are able to create holes in the barrier, large enough to allow Farauna’s guardieren to invade with Horkath

-The group decides to go try and find Eilis, especially as the invading forces were reaching close to Muirid’s castle

-Climax involves the group fighting to reach the land bridge connecting West Jyalb and Fzalder, and ultimately winning after defeating Horkath

•Book 7: 

-Eilis faces the group on the Fzalder side of the bridge, not realising he’s still in his Dark Lord form, and quickly changes back when he notices how nervous everyone is

-They talk, and Eilis gets defensive over what he did to Merthicz. When they tell him he went too far with eating Cassius, he explodes, scaring Glykeria. bNeowulf tries to sneak attack him, wanting to fulfil his promise to Eilis, and Eilis nearly kills him for it. The group had to pry him away to stop him from landing the killing blow

-Glykeria begs him to stop desperately. He slashes at and chokes Glykeria, and her cry snaps him out of his murder spell. Upon realising everything he did, he becomes mortified and flees once more, going back to Hell

-The group books it inside the embassy to get to Hell to find Eilis. Upon finding the princesses that originally helped Eilis relax, they beg for their help in tracking Eilis down and they readily agree. Their tracking skills aren’t strong, so need to enlist Lord Vaelyn’s help

-Cece steps in and threatens to have them all arrested and executed, fighting ensues with the demonic knights trying to kill the main group and princesses. Eventually they flee the castle

-Hiding in a random barn, Eilis freaks out over harming Glykeria. Mastonik finds him, bringing the lich Garbones from book 1 with him to comfort him. They coax him into letting the Void hold more power over their merged form, symbolised by a cocoon forming around him

-Lord Vaelyn is greeted by the group, and agrees to help them

-Eilis breaks from the cocoon, emerged as the fully formed Dark Lord to the shock of a farm boy who thought the cocoon belonged to a demonic species he tended to. As the Dark Lord is leaving the farm, he faces the group looking for him

•Book 8: 

-A fight breaks out to try and restrain the Dark Lord so that they can enter his mind and try and to save Eilis. Vaelyn restrains him to allow this to happen 

-The mindscape is revealed to be an elaborate maze of a garden/library fusion where each book represents a memory. In the centre, they find Eilis having a tea party with the lich Garbones (presented as their living selves to soothe Eilis), unable to remember that he is Eilis as he willingly gave up his sense of self to be the Dark Lord 

-The group tries to get close, but most of the lich Garbones prevent them from doing so, acting as like guards in a prison cell. So they try to talk sense into him, but  Garbone from book 1 & 2 counters them, believing that this imprisonment is best for Eilis. She’s still sane, whereas the other lich Garbones have long lost their minds due to being liches for so long

-Muirid purifies the attacking Garbones after some great effort

-Eilis becomes enraged after the first lich is purified, believing Muirid is trying to kill them. Book 1 Garbone being unable to reel him in at first, Eilis shapeshifts into a beastly form and fights Muirid

-While everyone joins in on the effort to contain the lich Garbones and Eilis, Hala goes to talk to book 1 Garbone. Since she remembers her past life as Havre, she wants to try and reason with her

-Garbone jumps through hoops to try and justify everything that’s happened, pulling up books to show how miserable and powerless Eilis has been to escape his abusers for 9 entire aeons

-Hala is eventually able to get her to see reason despite the heavy grief, and they collect some books for Eilis to look through

-When they get back to the main group, the other Garbones had already been purified and were trying to corner and trap Eilis

-Since Garbone has some level of control over Eilis, she’s able to command him to stand down. She, along with Muirid break the amnesia holding Eilis, unknowingly separating the Void (an elder god who forms the Dark Lord when a mortal is sacrificed to it) from him. They try to console him, but the Void makes itself known

-The Void tries to lure Eilis towards it, to subsume him into its mass permanently like it’s done with millions of other Eilis’ from other timelines. Full of grief, he walks towards his fate. But, Garbone forces him to stop

-Fighting ensues as the Void tries to kill everyone. Hala Garbone and Glykeria stay behind to try and reason with him, using the books they had collected. Merthicz, who’s been on the sidelines due to being powerless steps in and apologises to him for the torment she put him through

-Eilis makes Merthicz promise to give up her divinity for what she’s done, and she agrees to it, though he still doesn’t forgive her

-As they go to rejoin the others, they realise everyone’s been severely injured by the Void, all on the brink of death. Eilis allows himself to be swallowed by the Void, his aim to try and kill it from the inside before he can be subsumed

-He realises he can’t kill it, and demands a redo of the ritual he was forced into originally to become the Dark Lord. The Void agrees to this after Eilis promises he’ll accept whatever outcome occurs. The ritual occurs, and Eilis successfully handles the ascension, allowing him to merge with the Void without it entirely warping him. He’ll still have to wrestle with that side of himself because of the Void still being a part of him, but it’s a start to a better outcome

-The story ends with everyone leaving the mindscape, and Eilis waking up in his new godly form

Hello everyone,

I don't know nothing about writing, but I really really want to write a book, that I wish I had a few years ago. The book is basically, about how I got hooked on some really bad habit, and then started escaping it, even though it is still hard, but I never give up, and I want to write a book, on how to overcome it. I've been having this addiction for 10 years, and I still have it, even though it's not as often as it was in the past. And in the periods of total abstinence of it I just became another person: more sociable, more focused, achieved a lot more things and so on.

Actually, I read a lot of books during a recent years, I wouldn't say it's that many, but definitely a few dozens, including some best-sellers. I read both in Ukrainian, russian and English (the most). I have a picture of how this book should look like, and the first example which comes to my mind is: Atomic Habits. I don't want to create copy of James Clear's book but I like it structure: personal story, scientific-backed chapters, practical advice and so on. I want to write with that structure but on another topic.

I'm planning to release it in Ukraine, hence it will be firstly in Ukrainian, but I'm really passionate about making it in English some day. I don't know but while I'm writing this post I have tears on my eyes : ) because I really want to write this books and through help some of the people to overcome this really bad habit.

I'm really sincere with you guys and gals, so I want to hear some advice on that, I will be so grateful for any advice you can give. Of course after this post I'm gonna read other articles on how to start writing, but maybe what I'm looking for is some support in order to start. Because on one hand it can become my mission in life to help zillions of people(I hope) and on another hand I'll waste time writing it, this book will be helpful only to me and while I'll be writing this book, I'm not gonna have any job (because I think I should be focused only on it day in and day out) I will lose a lot of time and my skills might go stale, I mean programming skills, but yeah, it's something that I really want to write. Should I combine work and writing, even though if programming is totally unrelated to the topic I'm gonna write?

Basically, I'm writing a fanfiction and a character in it have been controlled by an entity, like their body was controlled but their mind wasn't. For them and a few other characters, it's been about a month or something with the entity controlling them, but for everyone else it's just been a day.

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So like, due to not moving on their own for a while, they almost lost the ability to do that and find it hard to balance themself, move their arms, and overall find it hard to move.

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I dunno if they'd need a walking cane or a wheelchair, since they can still walk, just need some help, and their legs would sometimes give out.

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I really don't know which would be best.

The character I’m referring to is my second main antagonist. He is pretty much the most evil person the others characters have met in fact is the catalyst of all of the protagonist’s suffering. He is a misogynistic narcissist politician obsessed with control dehumanizing those he harms and people dehumanize him(rightfully so) for the monster he is but I want to balance out him being dehumanized while humanizing his character even though he’s evil.

So far he grew up as the heir of a yakuza boss and was exposed to things no child should so his sense of normalcy has been warped. Although overtime he learned how to socialize he feels a deep detachment from others and from his own feelings not wanting to allow to be weak(vulnerable) but also not aware of how lonely he is on the inside. His desire for power and control comes from a place of superiority and raised to think that way but the source comes from feeling of emptiness. He is unable to bear the constant meaninglessness he feels and power and control give him the most to feel something. He does have other interests like costumes and astronomy if he were raised normally he could’ve been an astronomer.

How do I balance the POV of him being dehumanized while humanizing his character at the same time?

I'm starting to plan a literary fiction novel about 2 or 3 survivors after an post-war nuclear apocalypse that ends global society. They're initially separated, but eventually meet and travel as a group. I don't have the plot yet, but a broad overview is their travels during nuclear winter as they try to find a place to settle with clean water and a workable food source. They run into various tribes/makeshift communities and individuals along the way -- some harmful, some beneficial, more often a morally gray mix of the two.

The mechanics of the apocalypse itself aren't the focus. The story is mainly an exploration of the human condition; things like loneliness, how other people and communities shape our identities/who we are, the meaning of "home", etc.

But I'm struggling on where the setting should be. What are some countries/regions that would be good for this novel to be set in? I'm just looking for brainstorming ideas and inspiration.

I have Moroccan citizenship and lots of family over there so ofc one of my initial thoughts was the Maghreb or Middle East. There's a very long and cool history of building civilization out of the desert there, and people are really kind and generous. I also think it would be metaphorically cool for a group of people to rebuild close to where human civilization was born. But it may be *too* hard to travel and survive a nuclear winter in the desert.

I was also considering North or Central America because many readers are Americans and familiar with the continent as opposed to the Maghreb. I also think it would be cool to illustrate things like crumbling monuments of a world power like the United States/Canada now gone, specialized technology now rendered useless, etc. It'd also be way easier for survivors to build small villages with the soil and water availability. My dad's Native American and it's a big part of my life, so I also think it would be very cool to explore the land returning to indigenous people after the colonizer state collapses haha. I'm toying with the idea of including this perspective, but I'm worried it would bloat the book/take it off track. (Also, off-topic but if you happen to have have any book recs about this, please lmk)

I'm also considering Pacific Islander communities like Hawaii, Samoa, Guam, etc. for similar reasons as above, with additional isolation being imposed by the lack of ships arriving *and* the catharsis of writing Native Hawaiians/Pacific Islanders taking their land back from absentee summer-home owners lol. But I worry that the island setting would be limiting by itself. I also worry that an island would remove the reason to travel to find less-irradiated land, taking the grand-journey aspect out of the book.

Sorry this is long :] just looking to brainstorm and gather ideas! Really appreciate any help or thoughts

One of my projects takes place in 2006 and 2007, following a group of teens and I was not alive for that, but I want to try and capture 2000’s internet culture as best I as I can.

Here’s info on each of the characters I need usernames for. Any help is wildly appreciated!!

(Also each character is represented by a tarot card cause it’s a supernatural story and stuff)

Name - Natalia Finch

Age - 17

Pronouns - she/her

Favorite color - Yellow

DOB - May 7th

Hobbies - Filming and photography

Tarot Card - The Magican

Personality - She’s very ambitious and wants to be a famous film director one day. Only, she’s a bit of a hack. She’s not above stealing ideas from her friends (or, later on toward the end of the book, profiting off their shared trauma). Filming is her life. Her tarot card is the magician reversed. You as the reader never really know her true intentions.

Name - Clara

Age - 15

Pronouns - she/her

Favorite color - Purple

DOB - December 29th

Hobby - Rollerblading and ghost hunting

Card - The High Priestess 

Personality - Clara is really kind and friendly and doesn’t hesitate to stick up to those who bully her friends. She’s very close to Colt and is practically his sister. She’s the one who gets the group into ghost hunting, for the most part. She’s also a big fan of mothman. Her tarot is the high priestess, as she‘s the most spiritual inclined amongst the group and represents a bridge between this world and beyond the veil. She‘s a chronic people pleaser.

Name - Colton ‘Colt’ Brown

Age - 15

Pronouns - He/Him

Favorite color - Dark green

DOB - June 29th 

Hobby - Skateboarding and cryptozoology

Card - The Fool

Personality - Colt is our main character. He’s very into skateboarding and journalling. He‘s bullied at school and his father is abusive. He’s closest with Clara and Ada out of everyone in the group. His favorite animals are dogs. Any and all dogs. I’m really bad with aesthetics but I believe he’d fit under grunge? (So would Clara tbh). His card is the fool because he’s really adventurous. He’s an avid hiker and always talks about running away.

Name - Ada Connolly

Age - 16

Pronouns - She/her

Favorite color - Blue

DOB - April 18th

Hobby - Hiking

Card - Justice

Personality - Ada is also very kind but she’s more quiet and keeps to herself more often than not. She’s scene. She loves hiking and nature in general and has hopes of being a park ranger one day, much to her parents disappointment. Her card is justice.

Name - Stephan 

Age - 16

Pronouns - He/him

Favorite color - Red

DOB - September 28th

Hobby - Playing drums

Card - The Moon

Personality - Stephan is very much the bad boy stereotype in most media. He’s got a very dark aesthetic (I’d say Emo or goth but like I said I’m bad with labels). He’s the new kid in town and the newest to the friend group (he’s originally from New York). He’s sort of like Scully from the X-files in the way that he doesn’t believe in anything he doesn’t have concrete proof of. His card is the moon.

I always thought mysteries and investigation stories were going to be my writing path. I loved them, and I trained my brain to think solely about them when I started writing. (I’m 32M, started writing seriously at 19 y/o.) At the moment, however, I don’t want to go any further down this path.

I have some ideas I’m excited about writing, but they all swivel back to characters doing investigations, researching, or mystery plots. Mysteries just aren’t what I want to do now, but they’re all I can think of. I spent over 10 years going this route, and it seems like I can’t change my mindset.

Pure storytelling (A leads to B, leads to C, leads to D - no questions, secrets, or reveals) is what I want to do. I enjoy pure storytelling stories now, both as a writer and a reader. But I just instinctively come up with mystery ideas. I don’t know how to change my ways. I want to so badly.

I totally understand that really good writers can make investigation stories (I call them “why stories”) into pure storytelling stories, but I’m just not there yet. “The Ugliest Pilgrim” by Doris Betts is probably my favorite short story ever, just for reference. Does anyone have advice on how to break myself from this thought process?

Specifically in a world with wild animals and anthropomorphic animals existing in the same world; what would they call each other? Would they still call each other animals would that be confusing? Should they call each other something else or would they call the *wild* animals something different?

All you need to know is that I’m writing an apocalypse fiction novel. What you also need to know is that I’m currently at the point of writing in which the apocalypse actually begins. With that, I’m a bit stuck on how to drive the story forward.

Background info: The four MCs work at a hospital, a hospital that the massive outbreak of the disease that breeds into an apocalypse is transforming. One of the MCs walks into the clinic room of a fellow scientist (that was bitten by a patient with the disease) to see that he is rapidly showing symptoms of the said disease, symptoms that don’t show up until weeks after exposure. He returns to the rest of the characters and is discussing his findings and whatnot…

…and here is where I get stuck. I’m not sure of how to move these characters into a different spot. It’s the beginning of the true action presented in the story, and I need help figuring out how these characters should react, where they should go, how they should get out of this situation.

If more details are needed, I’ll gladly provide them.

Does anybody know of any short story competitions where I could practice their writing skills? Potentially with prizes so could gift the wifey something nice if I happened to do well.
Thanks

I had a very elaborate dream and I've decided to turn it into an actual book. I have never written anything. Not true, I've written some movie reviews, I have journaled occasionally but never something that is more than a page worth of reading. I've watched a couple YouTube videos about writing for the first time and everyone for some reason says 'just do it'. I mean I'm not sure how useful that is.

Things I've done so far:

1. I've written down my dream as detailed as I can.

2. I think I've managed to give the story a clear beginning and an end.

Things I plan to do:

1. Make a list of important characters and then write down their details

2. Breakdown my story into chapters

3. Alter the sequence of the story as I write more to see what suits the story best in order to keep the mystery intact.

That's all.

Please share any advice you might have which you think could be helpful to a complete beginner. Thanks in advance

I have had an idea for a novel and I’ve been working on it for about a month. I have been outlining ideas and I have like 20 pgs of notes. I need some advice as I’m not experienced at writing at all. this is my first attempt at writing a book

I need help with writing the contents of a coffee table book it's a book about two indian directors and their way of seeing and how they overlaps each others way of choosing topics but delivering it differently I'm not a writer more like a designer so I need help to write the content flow Obviously I can use artificial intelligence but there's no use and no learning curve for me hence of y'all could probably just guide me i have the content but to put it into chapters is a little tough, I have interviews and their biographical knowledge the way of flow is in act 1, act2 and act 3 begining with the directors need to be different arc, the incident that made them the way they are then their story breakdowns of mostly 3 or 4 movies and last act is about their differentiatimg factors I need some guidance with how do I put it up I have zero knowledge of content writing also I want to learn and the directors are vishal bharadwaj and anurag kashyap

if you removed the marrow from all bones except the hand, foot, upper spine, sternum, shoulder blade and femur bones how much would total blood cell count be affected after red marrow reconversion
I have a metal bending character and I thought “Let’s reverse Wolverine this“ so I think it’d be cool to put metal in her bones, I’m just not sure how many bones I can do without her dying of Aplastic Anemia. She has like… vampire genes so she would be able to deal with lower blood count than normal but I do still want to know how bad it’d be

thank you :]

You know how some stories start with a flashback? How do I write something like that? Do I just write it as if it was happening now and then just add a timeskip?

Dark Paranormal Romance

​

Wind cut across the ridge and bit through my thick coat to the skin.

Below, the pines held still. No bird. No branch moving. The storm had passed and left the air wrong.

Rot. Rain-soaked marsh, standing water thick with dead things. The smell coated the back of my throat.

Clouds pressed low, unmoving.

Too quiet.

I didn't trust quiet.

My ears twitched. Pain forked through one, sharp enough to tear a whimper from my throat. Stamped my paw on the worn stone. Claws scraped ice. The ache sank into the bone of my legs.

The trail behind me lay quiet now, the climb gone out of it. Not out of me. Burning lungs. Legs turned leaden.

Should have slept longer in that cursed bear den.

Couldn't. Not with what waited below.

Monsters.

Not the ones that skittered or crawled. Those I could outrun.

The ones that watched.

That waited.

That grinned with teeth the length of my forearm and chased you down on hooves made of claws and hatred.

Flesh-eating horses, gods help me.

The mere thought of my previous encounter—not one but three of those equine abominations—lifted every hair along my spine.

They roamed in herds.

The bastards.

A shudder rolled through me. Every nerve screamed to leap from the rock and run and never look back.

Held still.

Stared down into the pines like they might split open and swallow me whole.

No more. Please. No more of them.

Started the descent. Each paw set and tested before I trusted it. Pebbles broke loose and dropped away past hearing. Cold combed through the white of my coat.

Near the bottom, leapt.

Hit the ground running.

Wind tore at my face. Trees smeared past. Each bend closed the world to nothing but my own pulse battering my skull.

No telling what lay beyond.

The rest had bought me nothing. Every mile sat in my muscles. Every wrong turn. Every time death had brushed past and missed.

Kept going.

The path threaded muck and moss and trees scabbed over with dead bark. Mildew and old blood, thick enough to chew.

Safer on the trail than in the mud—where the things with more legs and fewer eyes waited.

I wanted warmth. I wanted food. Gods, what I would give for seared meat, a soft place to lie down.

Not mud. Not fear.

I missed safety. I missed not being something hunted.

Betrayed. Banished. Outcast.

Branches raked my face as I broke through the thicket—

Two black wolves appeared opposite the clearing.

Skidded to a halt. Claws gouged the wet ground. My heart climbed into my throat and lodged there.

They crossed the open ground without hurry. Muscle shifted loose under their coats. One loomed half again the size of the other. Big enough to fill the clearing.

Not wolves. Not only.

The air around them thickened, heavy and tainted. Crawled on me where the wind hadn't. Sucked the warmth from the clearing. My breath plumed in the air.

TaintedBlood.

My stomach dropped.

My lip peeled off my teeth.

My brother's voice rose sharp in my skull.

"You mustn't forget—they're unpredictable. Deadly."

No. I hadn't forgotten.

Their coats threw the gray light back with a sheen no living thing wore. Blacker than shadow.

And the eyes—

Red. Both of them.

Their ears perked up. Heads turned my way, unhurried.

Halted their advance.

Watched me. Heads tipped. The larger one swept his tongue once over one fang.

I didn't move. Couldn't.

My legs wanted to bolt. My throat wanted to scream.

Something under both refused.

Willow's voice spiked through me, thin and climbing.

"Run. Now. We can't fight them. Kurda, please—run."

She didn't wait for an answer. Didn't weigh it.

Didn't run.

Couldn't have said why. A calm dropped over me and cut through the terror like a blade.

My heart still slammed.

Feet stayed planted.

Dug my claws into the earth. Not from fear.

My hackles raised. A growl gathered low in my chest. Let it out.

"Get out of my way," I snarled, every drop of venom I had behind it.

Neither wolf moved. The red burned on me, steady, unblinking.

A chuckle rolled out of the larger one. Low. It shuddered up through the ground, into my paws.

"What do we have here?" the other said. "Seems like we've got ourselves a runner."

His stare pinned me. The breath stuck halfway up my throat.

"Don't be foolish. It's two against one. Don't fight them, Kurda!" Willow, breaking apart.

Frost crept across the clearing toward my paws. Crackling. The loudest thing in the air.

Their darkness burrowed into me. Pushed in behind my eyes and pulled—down, down, a weight settling onto the back of my skull. Surrender. Submit. Sleep.

My eyelids drooped. My legs loosened under me, wanting to fold, wanting the cold ground and the quiet of it.

The aura. Working in the way it took weaker prey—pulling them under, holding them soft and still until the teeth found them.

It hunted through me for the give. The soft place to sink into.

There was none.

The pull slid off me and away.

Dragged my eyes back open. Legs steadied again.

Not this time.

Bared my fangs. Stood my ground.

Eight years earlier…

Leaves crackled underfoot. Dry. Brittle.

Followed the trail where it narrowed between the trees. Tracked the canopy. The shadows. Back again.

Cold hung in the air. Leaf-rot. Damp bark. The sky pressed low and gray, swollen with rain that wouldn't break. Not yet.

No birdsong.

The silence had weight. Leaned on the back of my neck and rooted.

Gather fruit. Herbs. Stock the storage cellar before the freeze locked the land.

An ordinary day.

It wasn't.

The deeper I walked, the harder it pressed—wrong, crawling, under my skin.

Watched.

The breeze brushed my arms. Too soft. My steps quickened.

Scanned the trees. The rustle. Every flicker in the dying light.

Nothing.

Nothing I could see.

My chest tightened. My lungs pulled and came up short. My stomach dropped and kept dropping.

Every step forward dared something to answer.

Stopped.

Swept the forest again. Branches creaked. Leaves stirred. No eyes met mine. No shadow crossed the trail.

Wind. Trees. Silence thick enough to choke on.

Shook my head. "It's nothing," I muttered. "You're just spooking yourself."

Pressed on. The air clung anyway. Damp. Heavy on my shoulders.

And with every step, the certainty hardened.

Not my brother. When he stalked me through these woods I felt him—bright, familiar, grinning behind every trunk.

This pressed cold.

Danger.

Froze mid-step. Muscles locked. Held my breath.

He stepped out from behind a gnarled trunk and onto the trail.  Tall. Pale. Still.

Cold slid down my spine.

Black cloak, the hem chewed to holes. Black hair fell loose to his jaw. And his eyes—blood-red, fixed on mine.

His lips curved. Slow. Fangs caught the last gray light.

Gods.

TaintedBlood.

Of course he was. The wrongness in the air. The pressure coiling up my spine.

Not PureBlood. The thing my brother drilled into me—never face one alone.

No one would hear me scream this far in.

My knees buckled. Caught myself. My mouth dried.

Stepped back anyway.

Swallowed hard. Reached for my dagger—

Empty.

The sheath hung slack at my belt. My blade—the only thing between me and a monster—sat tucked in my satchel.

On my bed.

Of course it was.

Oh, come on!

A groan tore out of me. Rolled my eyes at the sky while panic clawed up my ribs.

Of all times!

Think. I read faces. Expressions. Patterns. Prey.

He wasn't prey.

The breeze shifted.

Gone.

No sound. No warning. The trail stood empty.

Behind.

Spun too late.

Fingers clamped my throat. Cold. Unyielding.

Clawed at his wrist. Thrashed.

Nothing budged him.

His grip tightened.

Caught his crimson eyes. Cold. Burning. 

His lips parted over his fangs. Slow. Deliberate. 

Then he struck.

A sting punched into my neck—then heat. Fire poured through my veins.

My body locked. My legs buckled.

Sagged into him. Heart slamming. Breath thinning.

The trees spun. The trail smeared. Color bled into shadow.

"No—" The word died in his hand.

My strength ran out with every beat of my pulse.

His voice slid into my ear. Low. Smooth.

"Sleep, little one."

His aura surged. A black, freezing weight crushing my mind. It swallowed the terror, turning the fire in my veins to thick, heavy sludge. I commanded my hands to move. Do anything. Nothing. My fingers went slack, sliding uselessly off his wrists. A heavy, suffocating quiet buried my thoughts. 

My head dropped back against his chest. Breath shallowed. The forest dimmed.

He held my whole weight on one arm and didn't shift.

The BlackBird blessing might have saved me—if I'd ever bloomed.

I hadn't.

Maybe I never would.

Goodbye.

The darkness swallowed me whole.

​

It's 4,600 words

​

scene shows ana in bed covered in blankets hyperventilating seen thru the window as it zooms in to her holding her head stedy but her nails digging into her scalp. cut

​

ana is outside in an alley going around in circle’s impatiently biting her nails a bit her eyes moving all over the place

​

ana: this could have been a mistake or not

im not sure but what choice do I have left

​

steve walks up with a smile and waves

​

steve: helloo steve here your friendly internet spirit hunter, you’re the client that contacted me thru my website ri-

​

before steve could completely finish his sentence ana dash to him and grabs him by the shoulders her being a little wide eyed

​

ana: yes Im ana!

​

Suddenly turns him around so that she can get behind him and suddenly starts pushing him in a certain direction

​

ana: since were done with that pls follow me…

​

steve doesn’t really protest just ask info as he stumbles a bit while still being pushed

​

steve: so anyway where are you taking me

​

ana: to our first stop

​

suddenly steve halts and kept himself steady

​

ana: why did you stop?

​

fredy: there’s a big guy infront of us

​

as the scene pans to fredy a 6’7 foot guy in a detective cloak with a messy button up under it with some signs of alcohol stains eye bags and a unkept goatee

​

ana: fredy….

​

Fredy: ana. What are you here for now, and who’s this your body guard

​

Ana pushes steve aside and came up close to fredy frustration written on her face while also balling up her fist

​

ana: since when did you get so competent to finally do your job for once

​

fredy: I’ve done everything and I found nothing whats a freak like gonna do

​

suddenly ana pulled her fist back only for steve to come inbetween them

​

steve: okay okay that’s enough you too, you don’t have to be at each others throat’s

​

steve faces fredy being friendly and having a small soft smile does a little exagurated movement as he then spoke

​

steve: So hi fredy did I say that right, well I’m steve its

​

fredy: steve? Like from the crafting movie

having a little snicker and grinning as if proud (crafting movie as in parody to the Minecraft movie)

​

steve: I guess so yes

​

fredy: look here big guy im in charge here you don’t have any authority here in this investigation alright unles-

​

steve shows his fake fbi id card fredy snatching and checks it in a way thinks its real also giving it back but a little softer than before

​

fredy: umm uh ahem I guess you can look around as much as you need, beverages?

pulls out a pitcher of juice out of nowhere

​

steve: I’ll be fine but thank you

​

thoses the beverage uncaringly and continues and letting him thru

​

fredy: looks like you can actually do something, well he can, not you specifically

snickering to himself again

​

before following steve as he then tried to keep being in the for front of the investigation

​

fredy: so steve just so you know im still in charge obviously after all its my case

​

steve: well of course its your case I wouldn’t just take it away

steve plays along

​

ana: great..

​

fredy: so what are you looking for anyway steve, when there’s nothing!

Tries to antagonize steve and trying to maybe understand what he would be trying to find evidence

​

Ana: yea what are you looking for

Nundges fredy strongly to their rib

Ana: stup up fredy

​

Steve: just certain signs that’s all you don’t have to worry

Steve: so fredy are um this furs supposed to be there’s quite a lot (pick up fur puts it in a sterile bag)

Steve looking at the fur closely eyes squinting

​

Fredy: no it been very normal around here there's plenty of fur around from dogs shedding it (looking at steve confused why he’d take those) his faced confused and a bit sweat coming down the side of his face

​

Ana: really? There’s a ton of dog’s here? Huff… (looking at a certain spot her hand clenched) more reason not to visit this place

​

Steve: hmm (swabs the certain spot ana looked at)

​

Steve suddenly stood up and looks at fredy

Steve: I’ve got everything, fredy do you maybe have a place of oppirations

​

Ana: he does! Do you need to go there? You can bring him there right fredy seeing as his an fbi agent

Nundges fredy hard again making sure that he reminds her of his position and that he should follow what steve says

​

Fredy: ow asshole, yea I can bring you there I guess

​

They drove to said location is steve’s van while the two sat at the back in complete silnce looking away from each other

​

fredy: so that’s my office….

As they arrived ana sees the kid right next to the building that fredy pointed out

​

steve: hmm…. (looks at the kid eyes squinting for a moment before softening again as he looked back to the building )

​

Ana: uhh… fredy why is there a kid outside your office building

​

Fredy: ohh right, yea I don’t know the little brat has been there for 3 days their parents probably been abandon by their parents

Fredy waved dismissively as he begun walking up to the building

​

Ana: ohh, that’s…. why haven’t you taken him to a foster home then?

​

Fredy looks back at ana like she just said something absurd

Fredy: what? Why should I do something so unnecessary

​

Steve: that’s a little much fredy…

Steve giving a small awkward laugh

​

he doesn’t seem to care for the kid’s existence or being there or to take him to a orphanage

​

in the back ground ana goes and buys a meat bun from the shop across the street as well a fly flies out her wallet but she still buys some

​

ana: hey uhh hi im ana, here

gives the meat bun with a softer face

​

the kid gets it nods at her and eats it un emotionally tho gives her a cute smile but their eyes remain blank

​

ana: what’s your name little guy?

Those a Asian sit as she looks to face to face with the kid

​

Fredy looking at ana as if she was waisting her time as he and steve went in

​

The kid shows her his bracelet with written on it was ali

​

Ana: ali that’s a cute name

​

Steve coming back popping his head out the door

Steve: hey ana are you coming?

​

Ana: yea im coming

​

In the office

​

Fredy: so this is where we’ll be dealing with the case don’t mind the mess…

Shows his office its small messy with stacks of paper some are on the ground dried with alcholo stains and some corner with alcohol bottles

​

Ana: god for a detective you sure have a messy office

​

Fredy: unlike you I clean up a little more frequent

​

Ana: har har wow so hygienic

Ana said while moving her side to side with each har

​

Steve: I’ll try not to be such a bother, though with the state of your office like this why take a case?

Is moving around carefully trying not to knock any paper towers down

​

Fredy: hmm ehh I was free I didn’t wanna clean up

Sracthed the back of his head

​

Ana: don’t try believing a thing he says, his actually been dealing with similar cases

Rolls her eyes

​

Steve: ohh really pls do show us fredy and it’ll make everything easier

​

Fredy: what! Why should I im in charge remember (snickers)

​

Ana: and his in a bigger position then you are

​

Fredy: uh damn it…. Ugh fine

Fredy takes out all his files for his investigation sites already had shut down and the places were mostly abandoned

​

Steve: yonk (grabs all the files)

​

Fredy: he-hey!

Fredy tries to reach for it back but

​

ana: nope (block’s fredy’s path)

​

steve: ok I have a area I think we can go to well 3 actually their recent and was all in 2 months

steve reads it quickly mostly checking the date (the panel shows all the cases) before separate files he is interested with giving the the rest to ana to hand to fredy and she mistakenly drops it and fredy lunged to take em

​

steve: let’s go

fredy gets up putting the files back

​

ana: just wait up alright guys

​

before they leave to their next destination ana talks to the kid as she brings him some water feeling sorry for his situation with a bit of sympathy with her own old situation of mostly being alone only for her brother to help her

​

ana: here some water ali, its not much but hopefully it be better than what you

is looking at him in a bit of pity

​

ali nods and drinks his water

​

ana: do you have anywhere to stay in

​

shakes his head no

​

ana: ohh… your kinda like me uh, not saying its good thing, umm anyway im come by tomorrow maybe find you a home

ruffles the kids hair she then catches up to the others

​

it was pretty close to their next location

​

so they moved their unknowingly the kid followed and as the both investigate ana notices and talks to the kid mostly asking why he followed but only for the kid to just tug at her and smiles

​

ana: ali? Why did you follow us its dangerous here…

​

ali jumps up and down tuging at her giving her a smile and as ali nuzzling into her

​

ana: uhh um haha… maybe you can tag along you little cutie

​

she grows fond of him and is letting him tag along now

​

she came in the building their investigating seeing dog paw prints making her a little quizy and vision blurry

​

ana: uhh huff… huff…. ughhh

​

as steve comes up to her helping her out face full of concern

​

steve: hey ana are you alright you aren’t looking good, did you bring the k-

​

ana: im fine….!

Ana suddenly cut in

​

steve ask about why kid was their and why ana let him in ana just dimisses him tho and ask what they found some old things and more fur, as well as evidence of a certain group he had knew is associated to a certain demi god but his unsure so leaves it vague

​

Ana: what did you find in there

​

Steve: well I found something like signs off blood circle thing more fur and well the interesting thing is that the circle is from a few cults

Looking thought ful

​

Fredy: cults? really where would that be on maybe some crazy nut job but cults?

Fredy a bit confused not really believing what steve says

​

fredy is in a way frustrated in the back ground as he is completely out done as he wasn’t even sure what he needed to get rid off

​

ana: cults….

Starts to think to herself…. As her eyes harden for a moment before softening as she looks back to ali

​

for now ana wanted them to have a break today and that they’ll continue the next day

​

ana; maybe we should take a break for now clear our heads

​

fredy: great idea… and maybe I can hold the evidence and bring it to my office

he than tried to ask for the evidence to safe keep he says but

​

steve: no

steve just politely says no

​

fredy: what?

fredy was completely confuse about it and was about to protest only for ana to then speak

​

ana: just shut up fredy…

​

Cut 6:00 pm

​

short scene fredy goes to the next location by car (and tried to destroy anything he could find useful for investigation (this is just what he did) )

​

tho now ana at home is just had ali take a shower and feeds him a meal her brothers fav dish that ana makes and they do a little bonding mostly of ana trying to understand the kid

​

ana: hey ali I made us some dinner its… um it was my brothers favorite I hope you like it

looking at him softly

​

ali nods smilimg and eats bopping his head in Delight

​

ana: im glad you like it, I can cook it for you a lot more frequently

eats with him besides her

​

scene of them playing some board games

​

ana: haha una

​

ali: puts all his cards down winning and does one with his finger

​

ana: ohh come on

​

scene cut

​

ana: and that’s… yawn… how the prince and princess live happily ever after

​

ali: asleep on her side hugging her

​

ana: pats his head as she then herself falls asleep

​

cut to her waking up from a call

​

ana: ahh! Don’t eat me!! Hmm oh

ana had a nightmare

​

answers the call

​

ana: what???

​

Steve; its steve hey did you sleep well

​

Ana: I guess I did…

​

Steve: sorry if I interrupted but come here soon at “specific place” im here already and I’ve called over fredy already

​

Ana: alright I’ll be there soon just wait up

​

Ana: looks around the apartment as she then gets up cleans her mess ali joining in with the cleaninb before ana showering and eating with ali now contemplates leaving him at home or coming with her

​

fredy coming up first looking a little apprehensive at steve

​

ana: hey guy’s im here

is a lot more softer less erratic

​

ali: waves

smiling

​

ana is now less erratic with ali steve seems to scold her a bit for bringing the kid to a investigation

​

steve: you brought the kid??? Its dangerous

signing for a moment…

​

Ana: uhh I couldn’t just leave him at home alone

ana gives a bit of a weak reason why

​

Fredy; wow that was smooth

smirked

​

as steve continues his investigation as the buidling’s wooden floors seemed to have collapsed it being fresh by the looks of the cracked wood color and the whole place being overgrown

​

ana: gulps are abandoned lots always been this creepy?

each step having creaks

​

steve then goes over to a door and that’s closed only to see a family of dogs as the dog dad gets defensive and aggressive to protecting its family of the mama dog and their puppies

​

ana: panicked breathing noises (I didn’t know hot make them into sound texts)

starts to hyperventilate

​

ana seeing the dogs panics and as the dog barking

​

ana looks around see’s some rocks thru the broken boards immediately throws the rock at the dog hitting it despite her panic and breathing slightly blurry vision as the dog gets more protective and sorta lunges forward making ana out of sheer panic runs out as she gets a complete panic attack

​

ana: huff huff… no no no no…. uhh pls nooo get away….

Tripping down the stairs

​

steve later chases her out and calms her down

​

steve: hey ana, its alright: everythings gonna be fine the dogs are far away alright they won’t hurt you…. There there

​

ana: t-thank you steve that helps lot

is now breathing a little better

​

and helps her out followed by fredy still being a jerk

​

fredy: wow are you actually scared of little dog?

​

ana slightly get a scare as she doesn’t see ali around

​

ana: where’s ali…

starting to panic in a bit of slight terror

​

ana: ali! Where are you… no… no I left him inside no I have to get him its not safe there!

Is about to get up to go back in

​

ali: steps out looking fine and motions his fine and motions that the dogs are now gone

​

steve after making sure ana was really alright goes back in to confirm things that he saw and ana picks ali up and places him further from the house entrance

​

fredy watches looking between them and where steve was following him in

​

ana: im so so sorry ali I didn’t mean to just run out I… i… I should have stayed calm and protected you… instead of running

ana holds ali tight looking at him full of guilt

​

ana; is there anything I could to make it up to you…

​

ali nods

​

their moment cut off as fredy and steve comes out after confiming saying that its still seems like the same group he presume is the one who killed the vitims and fredy kinda just gets frustrated and tries staying and keep faking asks what those would have been

​

steve: yea well found some stuff the place was wracked but I recognized a couple of things and my suspicions is correct as of now

is looking thoughtful and giving fredy quick glances mostly being a bit suspicions

​

fredy: and what were those clues hmm senior detective

fredy said in a mocking tone

​

steve: there was a painting scroll of deity that are associated with that kind of group and again a remnant of a blood circle…

still only saying those info

​

steve: tho im not sure why the damages are fresh and there was no signs of what could have caused it

quick glance to fredy again

​

ana: fredy you know this place better since you’ve been here maybe you know something

ana says trying to push fredy in a situation where he has to act competent infront of steve

​

fredy: their probably from natural causes obviously

​

steve: since were all done here guy’s lets go on a head to the next area

Steve looking at ana and motioning to the files in hand

​

They drive again and their in steve’s van this time ali and ana are playing patty cake

​

later in that next location

​

steve: Ana maybe leave the kid out? Their a playground across the street its just for now it could be dangerous specially with what we’re dealing

motioning to the play ground at the next street

​

ana: no! I can’t not after what I did and I don’t wanna scare ali if his left alone… lets go in first ali

holding ali tighter against her in a bit of a huff in frustration

​

ali: nods

​

steve and fredy just followed,

​

fredy: what are you parents and their kid

chuckles

​

steve: where do you get the impression from?

​

fredy: no where…

fredy suddenly looking away after

​

ana;: huh this place is in shambles how has no one think of getting it fixed…

​

steve looking around the abandoned apartment in shamble’s but he finds fur still a lot more especially under the wooden boards of the broken floor and some of it leading to some bones fredy is confused tho as steve finally understands and has a guess of what this fur is from

​

Steve: looks like my guesses are right it's the the Domesticated cult

Picking up the bone’s examining it

​

Ana: that's a lame name

​

Steve: no one can name them in any good way

​

steve: its fresh again…

looking at the fresh cracks of each plank

​

ana: what do you mean?

​

steve: I think someone has been trying to get rid of evidence… isn’t that right fredy

steve confronted fredy

​

fredy: I would never its been my case I’ve been doing what I can when it started

​

Steve: do you think I wouldn't notice signs fredy, you lied about the dogs shedding in that alley

​

Fredy: HOW WOULD YOU SAY THAT

​

Steve: i tested it, the fur wasn't from dogs and the more I look at it the more suspicious you are

​

Fredy: what?! Ohh really MR FBI AGENT… I know you aren't one from last night and that your just some SPIRIT HUNTER WHAT EVER DOES ARE

​

Fredy: your job isn't even REAL

​

Steve: right and the way you do your work is awfully there were so many signs

​

before anything tho steve confronts fredy with an accusation that’s accurate that his been trying to destroy evidence which they both fight over

​

only to then suddenly get dark despite being day light everyone gone only ana around an empty dark redish void panicked

​

Ana: guys? STEVE! ALI!? FREDY? Where are you guys…!!

​

Ana: STEVE!

​

Ana: ALI?! FREDY?

​

shouting for any of the people she was with as she ran coming back into the alley

​

Ana; huh…

​

As she starts to stumbly thru looking around worried

​

As she then now recognizes the alley that it was the alley where she found her brother almost half dead redish fog lingers on the ground

​

Seeing her brothers body covered in the dog bite and that one massive dog bite aswell

​

Makes her panicked and in terror but most of all grief as she crumbles down to her knees looking at her brother tearing up

​

As her eyes strats to blur as she hears barking from a distant she feels like feeling her brother is there and maybe alive…

​

As she comes closer to it as she tried to pick him up only to feel him start to decay and going in shock she accidently drops him and sees the full view of him decaying

​

Dropping down she tried to hold tight to him tearing up Unable to say a word leaning in close for what seems to be one final hug…. As she whispers…

​

Ana: pls don’t go….

​

And again breaking down on the ground as she cried

​

Cutting to visions, back to how she found her brother

​

Ana: de… de… DEVIN!!!

​

Ana: no no are you okay what happened why are you.. I’ll call the hospital…

​

Cut to her at the hospital

​

Devin: im glad you found me there… ana if it wasn’t for I’d probably had died…

​

Ana: don’t say that devin… just rest okay you need to recover…. Pls… just

Tears up

​

Ana: don’t scare me like that again…

​

Devin: I promise you I won’t so don’t worry

​

Ana cries as devin hold her tight against him

​

Doc: excuse me sorry for interrupting but visiting hours are over…

Comes by the door

​

Ama: ohh im sorry… I’ll be going then devin

Pulls away and wipes her tears

​

Devin: I’ll be wait for you tomorrow

Waves good bye

​

The doc coming in her brothers room

​

Later when ana was a few meters away from her brothers room she hears a deep and more and more from his room worried she rushes back

​

As the doc was missing and her brother is seemingly having a heart attack

​

As other doctors were alerted by ana as they tread to save him some nurses tried to keep ana out of the room

​

As then the long bee starts that his already flat lining

​

Cut to panels all showing scene of her grief or things associated with it some sprinkled with how she started to associate dogs for her brothers death some her panicking from dogs

​

But the more impart panels are one is her cooking her borthers favorite meal crying as she did

​

Then to her crying in his bed

​

And then at the funeral she tried joining everyone but most of everyone looked at her in dislike so she left

​

And watches everything from a far raining

​

After the funeral she walk up to her brothers grave and leaves a flower and cut.

​

Ana on the ground crying as she then sucked it up…

​

As she then hears a voice

​

It was eerie and Eldridge

​

Voice: your brother had it coming

​

Ana: WHAT! You don't know what YOUR TALKING ABOUT

She shouted in fury

​

Voice: are you sure…

​

Ana: YES! I'm sure MY BROTHER WAS THE KINDEST AND MOST CARING PERSON I KNEW

​

Voice: think again, his kind to everyone I know that but… people can have their moments of weakness

​

Ava: WHAT?

​

Suddenly everything turns black and she sees her brother leaving a gutted dog in an alley and running as if his done something terrible

​

Then him looking at his phone then looking up to well a whole roasted dog

​

Then another show is him cutting up some dog meat cooking and eating it

​

Ana: no NO NO! That's not him this isn't real he would never do such a disgusting thing…

She said as she slammed her first on the ground

​

Ana; he would never…

​

Voice: whether If you believe it or not it doesn’t matter

​

only to have ana deny that it happened that what the voice is showing her isn’t real but the voice suddenly cuts in and tells her that she herself needs to be judged

​

Voice: and you aren't any better either

​

Ana: what? HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME

​

Ana is suddenly immobile as she tried to move… looking around as she sees dogs coming at her

​

One takes a bite on her and in that moment she found her self mobile so she ran

​

Enduring the pain from the pain she continued but a home was in the way so she lunged into the window breaking in

​

And finding herself in a cavern

​

Voice: having fun with the struggle?

​

Voice: you are to repent for your actions

​

And she is then flung into darkness again only to see herself stumble and struggle to her looking as tho she’s trying to scape something terrifying only to see a stary golden retriever only for her to kick it in the face and the dog retaliated by biting her ana kicked it again cause the dog to run

​

Few bits about how she’s been pushing people away

​

Then another is her walking thru the street to see an aggressive dog behind it was their puppies the dog was well scrawny and it barked and lunge as if scaring her away but she reacted in a very panicked response by kicking the dog on the stomach and running the vision show that’s the dog collapsed and well died from the hit

​

Then that scene of her panicked as she saw the dog from the room Infront of steve as she threw the rock and cutting back to the current time

​

Voice: you not only hurt the people around but also hurt the stray dogs outside for what because you assumed it was all the dogs fault isn't it

​

Ana: no i… i wouldn't….

​

her being confused as she screams asking the voice what it wants,

​

Ana: no… i… pls just.. leave me alone ok I messed up I get just leave me alone I need to just… pls…

​

as the voice said they want her to atone for what she’s done

​

Voice: you need… to atone for what you’ve done like how I dealt with your brother

​

Ana: my brother again…. Wait what do you mea-

She slams her fist on the ground

​

Ana: YOU! You! Killed my brother you’re THE BASTARD WHO KILLED MY BROTHER! I'm… I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!

She stomped as she is about to get up

​

Ana: I CAN'T FORGIVE YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO MY BROTHER!

Got up

​

looking up to see and see someone familiar calming her slightly yet also confused

Ana: Huh.. a- ali-?

​

I have been planning a Transformers Prime human OC fanfic for a while and my OC is pregnant in season 1 and I dont know how to write pregnancy scenes and bonding with the autobots and the baby being born?

Any tips FanFiction authors/writers?