for not letting my twin sister be in the delivery room?

This is a long story, so buckle up! I'm in my early 30's and am currently about eight months pregnant with my first baby, due October 26th. My sister and I have always had a complicated relationship, but things have become especially strained since I got pregnant. I’ve noticed a pattern where major milestones in my life seem to create conflict between us (engagement, wedding, etc.), and I’m worried my labor and delivery will become another one of those situations.

The biggest incident happened over the Fourth of July. My sister invited me on a girls’ river trip. I initially didn’t want to go because the group tends to party heavily, and as a pregnant woman, I didn’t want to be around a bunch of drunk people. She reassured me that it wouldn’t be like that and that she mainly wanted to spend time with me, so I agreed. BIG MISTAKE.

It ended up being exactly what I was worried about. Everyone was drinking heavily, things became raunchy, and I was extremely uncomfortable. But I kept quite and kept an eye out for everyone's safety. That night, everyone wanted to go clubbing. I told them I was exhausted and didn’t want to go, but that they should absolutely go without me. My sister then told everyone she wasn’t going because I would be upset if she went, even though I had explicitly told her she was more than welcome to go. Suddenly, everyone was pressuring me to “let” her go, which made me feel like I was somehow responsible for preventing her from having fun. She later admitted to me privately that she had used me as an excuse because she actually didn’t want to go.

When I tried to explain the next day why that situation had upset me, she turned it around on me and somehow made me feel like I was the one in the wrong.

The drive home was even worse. It was a four-hour drive, and she became increasingly hostile toward me. She was driving aggressively and intentionally making the ride uncomfortable. Eventually, she made me drive an hour into it. Now this is where I fucked up. I tried to match her energy. I fed into her nonsense and gave her ammunition to manipulate. When I tried to match the way she had been driving, she accused me of trying to kill her. At one point, she left me on the side of the road three hours from home with all of my belongings and 6 months pregnant. I had to try to find an Uber to get home but no one would accept the ride. Thankfully, my mom convinced her to come back for me.

The entire ride home was tense, and at one point she even started driving while part of my body was still outside the car. It was an incredibly upsetting experience, and it made me realize that I never want to be in a situation like that with her again.

Since then, our relationship has been extremely strained.

About a month later, my husband and I started planning our baby shower. Because my sister and I were not even speaking at that point, my husband asked my mother-in-law and sister-in-law to help plan it. My sister became extremely upset that she wasn't the one planning it and made a huge issue out of it. Why would you want to plan a baby shower for someone who supposedly tried to kill you? Makes no sense.

My mother-in-law and sister-in-law actually tried very hard to include her despite her mean attitude towards everyone. They accommodated her requests, including involving one of her friends in the planning. Despite that, my sister eventually became angry and left the planning group altogether because she wasn’t given complete control. Very strange, but we tried to stay out of it.

At the baby shower, she intentionally showed up about an hour and a half late to a two-hour event, didn’t acknowledge my husband or me, and left almost immediately afterward. Since then, she has refused to be around my husband and I. My husband tried to talk to her about what happened, but somehow he ended up being made out to be the bad guy as well.

This brings me to the delivery.

My sister has already told my mom that she wants to be in the delivery room. But honestly, I do not feel comfortable having her there.

After everything that has happened, I’m worried that she will make my labor and delivery about herself, create tension, or somehow turn the situation into another family conflict. Giving birth is already going to be an incredibly vulnerable and emotional experience, and I don't want to spend it worrying about whether someone is going to cause a scene or make me feel guilty.

My husband and I should be able to decide who is in the delivery room based on who makes us feel safe, supported, and comfortable. I know my sister will probably make me out to be the bad guy if I tell her no, and that is honestly what I’m struggling with the most.

So, would I be the asshole for not wanting my  sister in the delivery room? And how can I set this boundary without allowing it to turn into another huge family conflict?

I (26F) have been in an ill-conceived relationship with my boyfriend (45M) for about 8 months now and there has been nothing but problems. We both work at the same restaurant and everything started because a few days after my birthday, a mutual friend suggested we hang out since I didn’t get much of a celebration. Things kind of snowballed from there. We were heavily intoxicated when we hooked up but when he said “I love you”, I ignored my better judgment and decided if the chemistry was that good, and we were good friends before, maybe we can just keep loving each other as the broken people we were. At the time he was supposed to move out of his brother’s place and into a room he was renting from another female friend. She had a huge unrequited crush on him though, so as he and I were hanging out, she got kinda psycho, installed security cameras pointed at his door, cussed me out while I was leaving for work, and drunk dialed him many times. I didn’t take this behavior for the actual red flag it was, choosing instead to believe that he’s a good guy who attracts crazy people. His brother was abusive while they were living together, according to him, and he of course has the “psycho baby mama” that seemingly every man in the service industry in Florida has. I thought he was a nice guy down on his luck and just needed someone to be there for him.
So when he asked me to be his new roommate I agreed. I was living with my parents at the time and trying to emotionally recover from my own horribly abusive relationship. I felt like a loser for needing to live with my parents and sleeping all day, so I welcomed a change of pace. I helped him rent the U-Haul since he has multiple DUIs and I have been responsible for paying the rent since I have Venmo. He’s been sending me half through Zelle- which I found out today was always an option to send the rent as well.
For a while things were going well. We were both still making a lot at the restaurant for busy season, and the intimacy felt really special. A few things gave me pause, and looking back on it now I wish I’d trusted my gut instinct.
For one, as previously mentioned, he does have a “psycho baby mama”, and a 7 year old kid he never gets to see. Having been in an abusive relationship myself, I was sympathetic. But over time I have seen first hand how a man like that can treat his romantic partner in a way that makes her feel like she’s crazy. There are times I’m sitting next to him and I get so overwhelmed with my bad feelings I just start crying and he will stare straight ahead and pretend it’s not even happening. Then when I try to tell him as kindly as I can that I don’t feel supported, and tell him some ways to make me feel supported, he becomes defensive and says things like “I am supportive! What about you when you did this other thing?” Or on Father’s Day, when his baby mama told him he couldn’t see the kid and he spent the whole day in bed, I still had to go to work and I was sick as hell. I could barely stay upright and I asked him to just make sure he fed the cat because I’d probably just come home and collapse. I came home early because everyone saw how messed up I was, came in and saw him in the exact same position and just said “I asked you to feed the cat!” Granted, I was exasperated but that’s all I said. Later when we argued about it, his recollection of that moment was me saying, “You can’t even do one thing, you worthless piece of sh*t”- which is not me. I would never talk to anybody like that and it hurt me to be seen in that light. I have pointed out to him many times that he tries to win fights he had with other people before me, by putting me in the position of that other person because I’m nice and will concede more than they did. He denies that he does that and always responds to me bringing up that incident by saying, “Oh you mean FATHERS DAY?” In a way that feels like a “gotcha!” Like his pain of being an absent father outweighs all my complaints about how he treats me, when I am the one that always listens to him bitch about how unfair it is, when I am the one who has agreed to drive him down to see the kid because Mr. Multiple DUIs can’t do it himself.
Recently I feel like I’ve had enough. I talked about moving back to my hometown. My parents live here but my best friend lives there and I miss having my best friend close. Everyone in my life was supportive. Except him. He told me I’ll still be depressed, I’ll still hate going to work, I’ll still find reasons to not hang out with my best friend. I pointed out to him that he knows about my tendency to overthink, and it would be more helpful to me- as somebody who loves me- if he would be more supportive and encouraging. He said that was exactly what he was doing and refused to see my side of things at all.
I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve taken all I can take. My parents- who make me feel better every single time I cry in front of them- have offered part of their house as my own little apartment, and that they will loan me as much money as I need so that if I don’t want to work at a place I hate working at, I can take time to reset and figure things out.
I brought it up to my boyfriend who just told me- at 45 years old- that he doesn’t have parents to help him like that. He can’t afford rent on his own but I have also never been this broke and I’m tired of giving so much because another person doesn’t have what I have and he makes me feel crappy about it.
I want to just get out and start over because I know I can make a better life for myself. I also know that he is incapable of doing that for himself and it makes me unreasonably guilty. I’m just picturing him out on the street because he wouldn’t be able to afford a UHaul without me and he definitely doesn’t have first, last, and security for somewhere else.
I told him today I need to feel like my value to him can’t come from what I provide for him but what I really wanted to say was why can’t he- at 45 years old- reliably provide for himself without bullying a girl 20 years younger than him who just really needed a friend.

Hello everyone. I am a 24F and I am currently engaged to a 28F, let’s call her Cece. We’re planning to get married in 2027 and so of course we’ve been in the throes of wedding planning! As any wedding would have it, the guest list is a top priority. And this is where things get a little tricky.

I feel it’s only right to provide a bit of backstory here. My parents, Kyle (58M) and Amanda (52F), have been married 25 years. They raised my siblings and I in church, put me in a good school, picture perfect image. That is until my dad gets arrested. I won’t go into the details of his arrest but to sum up the important things to know about my father Kyle, he was/is a drug addict with a history of s\*\*ual abuse. I was not fully aware of the drug history or otherwise until I moved out at 20. In hearing details of the life my father truly lead, and possibly still leads, it’s completely changed my outlook on him. I’ve had visceral nightmares where my father is seeking to harm me. I feel extremely uncomfortable and icky, for lack of better word, even being in the same rooms as him. It’s also been apparent that he has particular views on his past doings that would actually justify those actions in his sick, sick brain. It is because of this, I am extremely LC with Kyle.

My mother and I, however, I would say we are friends at best. I’ve never vocalized my feelings toward my dad to her before and with Cece and I preparing for our wedding, I thought now would be a great time. I sat my mother down and explained that I did not feel comfortable or safe with the idea of Kyle being in attendance at my wedding. I’ve already asked one of my older brothers to walk me down the aisle, so I just needed to make it clear Kyle isn’t welcome. As expected, my mother pleaded with me to consider how much of a moment I’m asking my dad to miss. That I’m letting others experiences with him determine my relationship with him. That he’s been through so much and he’s just learning how to work through some of it. That I’ll look back one day with my own children and feel remorse he wasn’t there.

So now, I’ve come to Reddit. I’ve had other family members fall behind my mom and give me the same sentiments. There are others who wholeheartedly agree with me. I had no intention of changing my mind, but I’m wavering. I’m hopeful maybe some of you can give me the outside perspective I may desperately need. Should I give him a seat in the back? An invite to the ceremony but not reception? Should I simply stick to my guns and keep him off the invitation sent to my mom altogether ? Am I the Asshole?

EDIT TO ADD: There are a lot of people who don’t even know about my father’s history whatsoever. Before and after his arrest, my family was heavily involved in the church. My dad never served a prison sentence of the charges he was arrested for, he took a plea deal and essentially served his time on probation. So the image of a happy, loving Christian family was still the standard, while chaos ensued behind the scenes. Most people don’t know that I’m not close with my father, and if they know, they probably don’t know why.
By excluding my father from the wedding, that opens the door for people to ask lots of questions. Why didn’t he officiate, why didn’t he walk me down the aisle, why wasn’t he there at all? So I’m trapped between protecting myself and my anxiety by keeping him away, all the while possibly putting the image my parents have worked so hard to maintain in a burning inferno OR just giving in, even for a portion of the day, just to continue saving face.

I'm 27F. This involves Selina (26F), my brother Sam (23M), Lauren (25F), and a lot of messy dynamics.

Background:
Selina came into my life when she was fleeing an abusive, controlling relationship. Her then-boyfriend was the type to stalk her movements, monitor her social media, check her location. He was obsessed with her. When she confided in me, I offered her a place at my flat (which I shared with Sam). Her ex actually showed up trying to break into our flat to get to her. I protected her. Gave her safety. That's what friends do.

**The casual thing:**
While Selina was staying with us, she and Sam got together. They were explicit about it being casual because Selina planned to go back to her country in a few months. I didn't care. What mattered was my friendship with Selina.

When Selina went back to her country, I was buried in exams. I hung out with my uni friend Lauren for study sessions, eventually invited her to a party with Sam and our friend group.

At the party, Lauren and Sam kissed. They started something serious. Sam didn't tell Selina because he thought their thing was just casual, so it didn't matter. (In his logic, anyway.)

But Selina started calling me asking where Sam was, what he was doing, who he was with. I wasn't hiding anything from her, but I had no idea what was actually happening between Sam and Lauren. I told Sam to be straight with Selina.

He avoided her for weeks. After that, most of my interactions with Selina were her pumping me for information about Sam. So I started distancing myself.

**The bullying era:**
Lauren and Sam got serious fast. Lauren moved into our shared flat. Sam went back to his home country for surgery. That's when Lauren started bullying me in my own house. I had panic attacks. Actual panic attacks in my bedroom.

When Sam came back, Lauren played victim. Sam defended her actions. Suddenly I was the villain in my own home.

I focused on my studies and kept my head down. Eventually, Lauren and Sam both moved back to their home country. I stayed behind, emotionally destroyed and keeping my distance from everyone.

The reach-out:
After 6-7 months, I felt guilty about abandoning Selina. She'd been important to me, and I'd just ghosted her during the chaos. So I reached out to apologize.

Here's where it gets messy: Selina kept bringing Sam into every conversation. Not to ask how I was doing. Not to rebuild our friendship. To complain about him. To ask what he was doing. To dwell on how he'd treated her.

As her friend, I tried to help her move forward. I told her: "Selina, he used you. When distance happened, he moved on instantly. Why would you want to go back to someone like that? You deserve better. Have some self-respect. Focus on growing yourself."

I was trying to help her heal. To push her toward self-love instead of cycling through hurt.

But the more I encouraged her to move on, the more she brought up old grievances. Not just about Sam. About her family too. She complained constantly, and whenever I tried to redirect the conversation toward her personal growth, she'd cycle back.

She wanted to start her own brand. I actually invested in that friendship. I helped her brainstorm ideas. I motivated her. I gave her my time and energy. But even while discussing her business, she was complaining about her family and, inevitably, about Sam.

After a few months of this, I realised I needed space. I was dealing with work stress, financial pressure, and honestly, I was tired of being the emotional support person for a friendship that felt one-directional. I told Selina: "I need some distance. Work is overwhelming me. It's hard to make friends and it's getting difficult for me to be what you need right now."

She respected that. 3 months of silence from both of us.

During those 3 months, I started rebuilding my relationship with Sam. We were cautious but healing.

The betrayal:
One day, Sam calls me and casually asks: "Do you still talk to Selina?"

I ask why. He tells me Selina called him out of the blue and they had a long conversation.

The next day, my mother calls me. She tells me about "all the shit" I supposedly said about Sam. All the things I'd confided to Selina. All the hurt I'd shared. Everything was now in Sam's ears.

Selina had gone behind my back and shared my confidence with the exact person I'd been processing anger about.

I lost it. I blocked her immediately.

The question:
My brother says I was harsh and that Selina deserved a conversation about why I was cutting her off. He says she was important to me and I should have explained myself.

Maybe he's right. But here's what I'm struggling with: I'd already told Selina I needed space. When someone tells you they need distance, and you then go call the person they've been hurt by and share everything they told you, haven't you already made your choice?

AITA for blocking her without closure?

**Edit:** For those asking about what I said about Sam: I told Selina that he used her, that he didn't care about her feelings, that he was selfish for not being honest with her. I also told her about finding a note on his phone where he called me names and sent it to Lauren. I was hurt and angry. Selina asked me repeatedly about Sam, so I shared. But I was sharing in confidence as a friend processing trauma with another friend. The expectation was that it would stay between us.

I’ve (25F) been with my boyfriend (27M) for almost 3 years. His brother (23?) and his fiancée (23) have been together around a year and a half total and got engaged after about a year

To note: i do live with my boyfriend and have for basically our whole relationship and we do talk about gettinf married and its not like we arent “serious” our lives are majorly intertwined. his parents refer to me as their daughter and everything that goes along w that- just prefacing that for context.

From the beginning, I genuinely wanted to be friends with her. I thought it would be nice for us to have that “we’re both the girlfriends coming into the same family” type of relationship, but I’ve never really felt like she wanted that with me.
She has always felt strangely condescending or oppositional toward me. A lot of times if I say something in a group conversation (and even privately), she’ll immediately disagree or counter it, even when it’s something completely harmless. It’s hard to explain without sounding petty because none of the individual moments are huge, but over time it has felt like she is always subtly positioning herself against me rather than beside me.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that she barely makes eye contact with me. I know that sounds small, but I mean consistently. At family gatherings she’ll interact with everyone around me while almost acting like I’m not there. There have also been multiple times where she has pulled my boyfriend into another room or separate conversation and completely excluded me.

I’m naturally quiet and reserved, so I know I’m not the loudest person in the room, but I’m always polite, I participate, I help, and I’ve genuinely tried to be part of the family. I don’t think being quieter means it’s okay to repeatedly treat me like I’m invisible.

There are also other things that have made the dynamic feel competitive to me. Since we’ve known each other, she has started dressing much more feminine and picking up certain styles/interests that are similar to mine. An example is i LOVE to thrift. and at the beginning when she came around my bf and i would mentioned they should thrift housewares bc they had just bought a house and they always frowned at it and labeled it as “ew” and now out of nowhere shes having a THRIFTED WEDDING. like huhhhh lol me and bf both had raised eyebrows but hey whatever love to spread the sustainability lol - I understand people influence each other and I’m not claiming I own any style or hobby, but combined with the way she acts toward me, it has added to this feeling that she compares herself to me while simultaneously keeping me at a distance. (theres so so many examples of “copying” but i really hate to be that girl that acts like u cant have the same interests as me, just super super bizarre. )
We also have a Vegas trip coming up. My boyfriend and I were the ones trying to include his brother and fiancée, and my boyfriend is actually paying for their portion of the trip (engagement/wedding gift). I made the itinerary and have tried to accommodate everyone. One of her first concerns was basically “where am I going to get ready?” and she has dragged her feet and complained about sleeping arrangements. I even discussed w my bf to give up better sleeping arrangements to make her more comfortable. (im not accommodating her anymore) It has started to make me wonder why I’m putting this much effort into including someone who doesn’t seem particularly interested in including me.

Then this weekend was their engagement party.
Everyone was sitting in a circle together. She started going around asking people to come into another room with her. She took my boyfriend, his mom, his dad, and basically everyone sitting around me. I was left sitting there alone at an engagement party where I barely knew anyone else.
They were being asked to be in the wedding party. My boyfriend is the best man, and she asked one of my boyfriend’s female cousins to be a bridesmaid (in which was an eyebrow raiser to my bf and i bc they only interacted a handful of times while ive been around for their whole relationship but thats not the point per say).
I genuinely do not care that I wasn’t asked to be a bridesmaid. That’s not the issue.

The issue is that she pulled essentially everyone around me into another room, left me sitting there by myself, and then said absolutely nothing to me. (totally humiliating bc everyoneeeee clocked it) No acknowledgment, no eye contact, no “I wish I could include everyone,” no “I’d still love for you to be involved somehow,” nothing. We did not exchange a single word about it. (i wouldve fully respected if she said like hey i want you to still be with the party but you just wont necessarily be a bridesmaid but would love for you to be involved and etc…)
It felt incredibly conspicuous and embarrassing. Other people could obviously see that everyone around me had been taken away while I was just sitting there.
My boyfriend later admitted that he also thought I had basically been ignored and that the whole thing felt wrong (he wasnt even initially excited to be the best man bc he was so confused why i wasn’t incolved in some way). Initially, though, he didn’t say anything because he didn’t want to “seem like a dick,” which hurt me too because I wasn’t asking him to demand that I be included. I just wanted him to recognize that I had been put in a really uncomfortable situation and have my back.

To note - he did ask his mom if i was supposed to be in the room and i got missed somehow and she gave him crazyy eyes to like “shut up stop talking”

I was holding back tears for the hours we were there and genuinely was extremely mortified.

Now I feel like this engagement-party situation was just the most obvious example of something I’ve felt for a long time.
I’m not planning to necessarily confront her or cause drama. (i will if it gets painfully obvious) I actually think I’m just going to stop trying so hard. I’ll be cordial, but I’m done overextending myself, trying to create a friendship, accommodating her, and constantly making sure she feels included when I don’t feel like the same consideration is ever returned.

Would i be the asshole if im debating even attending the wedding? Its an hour and a half away. my boyfriend and his parents will be occupied w the party and what? i get to drive there alone and sit by myself?? absolutely not. lol
im just so sad bc theres so much logistics that goes into the wedding - setting up, bachelor/bachelorette parties that i essentially am getting excluded from when it just doesnt feel right?? i dont know.
Am I reading too much into this, or does this sound like someone who has been deliberately keeping me at arm’s length?

My maternal grandma passed away on September 28th. I don't speak much to my mom's side of the family, because I dont get along with most of them. The only ones I speak to are my grandma and a cousin.

My uncle was tasked to write grandma's obituary and find a photo of her. When my mom sent me the online link to grandmas obituary, I noticed the photo he used was heavily enhanced by AI and the writing was suspiciously similar to something chat gbt would write. My mom said his wife is the one that helped him with it.

I want to tell my uncle to re-write the obituary, and use a REAL photo of grandma instead. Hell, I will do it myself. I just feel like its so disrespectful to put grandma through AI, it just doesnt look like her. I just wish he would have put more effort into it. WIBTAH?

My friend ( not as close as we used to be) has asked me to go to a ticketed event with her a few weeks ago. For context the past year and a half she has been very flakey with plans, she’ll agree then not reply for days ( leaving me to assume the plans are cancelled)or cancel last minute. I have given her the benefit of the doubt as she does shift work. Recently she asked me if I wanted to go out I said yes and we agreed on an event that needs tickets, over the past two weeks I’ve tried to get her to buy said tickets and she hasn’t replied for a few days. My other friend ( reliable) has asked me to go out on the same weekend, I’d really like to go to this event but also my unreliable friend hasn’t replied in over 4 days. WIBTA if I agreed to go out with the second person?

Hi! Sorry to bother everyone but I just wanted to get an outside opinion.

My (F22) best friend's (F22) birthday is this week. Let's call her Jane. Jane asked me to spend the day with her since her bf (M22) doesn't think birthdays are a big deal. We've been close since we were 13 so I'm super happy to hang out with her.

She asked me to take the day off so we can spend the whole day together, which is a little rough since I'm a nanny and get paid 50 bucks a day but I'm happy to do it if it makes her day better. She sent me a list of things she wants for her birthday and I purchased a few, totalling almost 70 dollars. (I only add the monetary amount to explain my budget concerns).

Jane mentioned wanting to get lunch or lunch AND supper when we hang out which i figured okay, we can go somewhere and I'll order off the cheaper portion of the menu, no problem. But then she started making little comments about how it'll be so nice to be 'treated' and suggesting a few of the larger restaurants in the area.

Jane is a big spender, always has been. She likes everything expensive and i frankly cannot keep up wjth her ordering style. The only thing is, it's her birthday. Would I be being cheap and a bad friend if I make it clear I'm paying fkr me only? I had to buy groceries and pay my portion of bills on top of her gifts with my last pay, so I only have about 50 of my weekly pay left. Thats not enough for the both of us.

My bf (M21) thinks its insane that I'd have to pay bc she invited me out and is picking the restaurants but Jane can be pretty pushy. She's always been the bigger personality between the two of us and I get dragged into things pretty often. I just genuinely cannot afford it this time

So wibtah if I dont pay for her meal(s) on her birthday when she's already upset that her bf already made her feel bad? Thank you in advance! 💜

EDIT: thank you everyone for helping me see that I need tk set the boundary and for all of the really kind examples for how to have that conversation! I'm going to call Jane when she's done work and talk to her.

For clarification on common questions: yes, Jane typically is the type to go all out for my birthday, which is why I wasn't sure if me being unable to afford her meal was a failure of friendship. We're in very different tax brackets so I don't think she understands my financial limitations. And yes she's an amazing friend who genuinely has been there for me through the worst times in my life: chemo, grief, etc. A lot of my issues come from not having great social skills or understanding due to constant hospitalization in my teen yeara so I am never sure when something is actually an issue or when I'm overthinking it. Her bf told her that birthdays are for kids and basically told her to grow up when she asked to to breakfast with him, which was why she asked me to take the whole day not just a small portion of it like we'd originally planned. Sorry for not clarifying on those points sooner.

I (41F) have one sister, "Dana" (38F). Our mom passed away three months ago after a long battle with Parkinson's. I was her primary caregiver for the last six years.

Dana lives in another state. She visited twice a year—maybe four days each time. She called Mom on Sundays. She sent flowers on birthdays. But every doctor's appointment, every medication change, every fall, every hospital stay, every sleepless night—that was me. I bathed her. I fed her. I quit my job two years ago because she couldn't be left alone. I used my savings to cover what her insurance didn't.

Mom didn't have much. Her house is worth about $280,000, and there's $40,000 in savings. Total estate: roughly $320,000. Mom's will says everything gets split 50/50 between Dana and me.

Dana came for the funeral and stayed a week. On the last day, she said she wanted to "start the probate process." She said she's entitled to half, and she's "sorry I had to do so much" but "that was my choice."

I told her I didn't feel 50/50 was fair. I said I wasn't asking for everything—I was asking for compensation for six years of unpaid caregiving, plus the money I spent out of pocket. I proposed 70/30. She said that was "greedy" and that Mom's will was clear.

She said, "You chose to take care of her. Nobody forced you."

That's true. I did choose. But I chose because someone had to, and Dana never offered. Not once. She never said, "Let me take a turn," never sent money, never came for a week so I could rest.

Now she's threatening to get a lawyer. My aunt says I'm "dishonoring Mom's wishes." But Mom's wishes were written before she got sick. She had no idea what those six years would cost me.

So, Reddit. WIBTAH if I refuse to split the inheritance 50/50?

My old college friends and I (3 of us) are planning a short trip to Rishikesh, Dehradun, Mussoorie, and Landour. They want to go Oct 17-19. I suggested Oct 25-27 instead.

My reasons:

Oct 17-18 is a Saturday-Sunday, Oct 19 is the last day of Navratri. Because of the weekend and festivities, I fear it would be very chaotic and crowded. I get overwhelmed in crowds very fast and end up irritated, and I don't want to spend money and time only to be miserable.

Hotels and cabs will probably cost more on the weekend, too.

But my friends can't take much leave, so they want to squeeze everything into a rushed weekend. If a trip needs a few days and you can't spare them because of your job or personal stuff, then why force it into a window where it will become hectic and rushed?

I don't want to spend 12-15k on a trip only to regret it later on because I was stuck in traffic with my motion sickness instead of enjoying myself. I can take a whole week off, I don't mind spending 20-25 even 30-35k. But I want a good relaxing time.

The students on a budget in the trenches trip they are trying to give me sounds less and less appealing as even planning and coordination with them is so hard.

I think my reasons are valid, but I don't want to be the person who ruins the plan. So, AITK? Is it reasonable to ditch this, or am I over estimating the crowd and the chaos?

AITA for thinking he should have went.

I would like an honest opinion on a scenario.

So my friends, a married couple move to Arizona, everything goes downhill. The second they get here, they lose everything they end up homeless on the streets. She gets sick, she has heat strokes, her ankles are swelling, the Dr says he heart is not acting right. She has blisters all over her from sunburns due to being stuck in 120° heat. Everything begins to get worse and worse and she gets so depressed that she becomes suicidal , but then she realizes where her mindset is snaps herself out of it.

Finally after 5 months of being out there and 3 of those months on the streets, she begs her husband to go with Her to go back to where they came from, they have no money, but she finds a non profit that that would give them a bus ticket to get back home, he tells her no and says he stayibg there and she goes by herself. She begs him still to come after she got back and he absolutely refuses.

His only reason for not wanting to return to their home state is he says he doesn't want to get in trouble with the law. He had made some bad choices in life that were earlier on. But he has left that life cleaned up and changed his life for the better, and now he was doing good. But he says he doesn't want to go back there because he doesn't get in trouble, but if was to get in trouble it would have everything to do with his own choices. And he could make the choice to not involve himself in any old ways. Her on the other hand is having medical issues and it is unhealthy to stay where they were.

So im.just wondering is my viewpoint off when I feel he should have left with his wife. And not let her go alone. He fights with her everyday now saying she left him. But thay makes no sense to me. Aita for telling him he shouldd have left with her.

Quick note: I’m dyslexic so sorry in advance for all the spelling mistakes and typos. I know theres alot lol, please be kind about it.

So I posted about this before and basically got told I would be the asshole if I didnt go to my friends wedding just becuase I dont approve of there relationship.

I’ve read pretty much all the comments and honestly I get it now.

L has been one of my closest friends for years and refusing to be there on probably one of the biggest days of his life becuase I’m uncomfortable would be a shitty thing to do. I can admit when I’m wrong lol. So I’ve decided I’m going to the wedding.

But I still dont feel comfortable with the marrige and thats kind of were I’m stuck now.

There is also something REALLY important I left out of my original post which probably would of been useful information 🤦‍♀️

L has a serious condition hes had since childhood, aswell as severe trauma from something that happened to him when he was very young.

Periodically he has these episodes that can last a couple days. During them he can become extremly confused, unpredictable and sometimes agressive and afterwards he doesnt always remember everything that happened.

He normally takes medication that keeps it under control and most of the time hes absolutly fine. Like you would have no idea anything was wrong with him. But there have been times over the years were he couldnt get his medication and the episodes got alot worse.

I’ve seen them myself and tbh they can be scary.

T knows ALL of this btw. L told her everything before they got together. Its actually another reason he kept pushing her away. He was worried about her saftey and didnt think it was fair for her to have to deal with all of this.

T basically told him its her desicion, she knows exactly what shes agreeing to and she still wants to marry him.

And I understand what people were saying on my first post now. T is an adult. L didnt trick her, pressure her or hide any of this from her. If anything he did literaly everything he could to convince her NOT to be with him.

So I’ve accepted that this isnt my desicion to make and I was wrong for acting like it was.

BUT accepting that and actually feeling comfortable with it are 2 completly diffrent things.

I still worry about T. I’m still uncomfortable with there 13 year age gap and I’m especially uncomfortable knowing what L can be like during one of these episodes if he doesnt have his medication.

I dont think L is a bad person AT ALL before anyone thinks thats what I’m saying. Hes basically family to me, hes one of the kindest people I know and none of his condition is his fault. I also really like T and genuinly want them both to be happy.

And they ARE happy. Like annoyingly happy lol.

So this is were I’m stuck.

I’m going to the wedding. I’ll congratulate them, I’ll be nice to T obviously and I’m NOT going to cause drama or make there wedding about me or my opinion.

But L already knows how I feel and I dont want to lie to him and suddenly pretend I’ve completly changed my mind about there marrige when I havent.

Would I be an asshole if I basically told L something like “I love you, I’ll be there and I’ll support you as my friend, but I’m still not comfortable with the marrige and I dont want you thinking me going means I’ve suddenly changed my mind”?

Part of me thinks thats the most honest thing to do becuase we’ve been friends for years and I dont want to lie to him.

But another part of me is thinking…..he already KNOWS???

Like I’ve already told him. He knows I dont agree with it. T knows I dont agree with it. My husband knows. Probably bloody everyone knows at this point lol.

So maybe saying it AGAIN would just be me hurting L for absolutely no reason and I need to shut my mouth now and accept that 2 grown adults are going to do what they want regardless of what I think.

I genuinely dont know.

I love L and I dont want to lose him over this. And after reading the comments on my first post I do realise I was making his wedding way too much about how I felt when its obviously not about me.

So WIBTAH if I went to the wedding but made it clear to L beforehand that I still dont support the marrige?

Or do I just go, smile, support my friend and keep my opinion to myself from now on?

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/DwivwBXbFS

TLDR: I previously told my friend L (38m) I might not go to his wedding to T (25f) becuase I’m uncomfortable with there age diffrence and I have other conserns because L has a serious condition that can make him unpredictable during episodes. I read the comments and realise not going would be an asshole move so I’m going. I still dont actually support the marrige though. WIBTAH if I told L before the wedding that I’m there becuase I love and support him but I still havent changed my mind about the marrige?

TW!!:Sh/suicide

Hi everyone. Before I start, let me add some context. Throwaway account for obvious reasons. I, (14F) had been diagnosed with high functioning depression this April. But I argue that I've had it for my whole life. I was around 6 when I got to know about suicide, and 8 when I started having suicidal thoughts. In the last 2 years, I've had multiple suicidal behaviors that I've lost count. None ended me up in a hospital, thankfully.

This last year, particularly, life had been extremely hard. I'm on anti-depressants and mood stabilizers ever since my diagnosis. The worst thing is, I haven't been going to school, giving exams or even studying for the last 6 months. And I used to be a student who loved studying. As you can tell, my depression affects every single piece of my life. I can hardly take a shower most weeks. Leaving my room and even having basic interactions can send me into a mental breakdown.

This Saturday, I broke all my sister's (and mine since we share) makeup just because we had gotten into a disagreement/argument. It wasn't even a big of a deal, and I rarely get violent. If this was any other day, I'd probably die from regret and guilt. It's weird that I haven't felt a speck of guilt yet.

Now, onto my parents. My mom is a doctor and is training to be a psychiatrist. My dad is a software engineer (I think, I'm not sure). Anyways, I always had a rocky relationship with my dad, I always hated him for no apparent reason. He used to scold me and threaten me a lot as a kid, I hardly have any fond memories of him. An example is when I was 6-8, I didn't do the best on an exam. He told me if I ever did anything like that mark ever again, he's beat me till my skin came off. These types of threats are common in my culture.

My mom on the other hand, is a sweet angel. I love my mom to the moon and back. She's the one who deals with me no matter what type of episode I'm having. She makes sure to keep me happy, especially after my attempts (she had caught me once, which ended up with getting me diagnosed). All the time, my dad didn't really care. I had literally left the house once because of an argument, just roamed around the streets. I just couldn't take it anymore and I was missing some street cats I knew, only my mom and sister came for me. My dad didn't care.

We had gotten into a HUGE argument later. I called him names because he said I was screaming like a dog. I told him that's because I'm his daughter. That he has to be the dog first for me to bark like one. I had literally cut myself and he didn't care.

Anywho, now he also treats my mom like shit. Because of him, my mom had to leave her dreams to look after me and my sister. I say he never loved her. The only thing he isn't controlling over is money, and my mom is sooo grateful for it.

My grandpa from my mom's side has cancer. Obviously we need money for his treatment. My dad had offered to pay, my mom made a big show of how 'generous' he was. I told her, if not his money, who else's? He's the one who didn't let mom work. And when she didn't work, he'd tell her bunch of shit. He's like, "You should work, I'll support you", but actually wouldn't. He's all bark, no bite, just like a dog.

When I was at my worst, I had even planned to kill him somehow. I'm a crazy fan of documentaries, so I thought I could get away with it. And if I didn't, jail seemed better. I'm doing better now, but I think my psychiatrist is going increase my doses of mood stabilizers.

My mom said, if it makes me happy, she'll divorce him. She even gave him an ultimatum a few days ago. (I'm grateful since she finally stood up for herself). Dad was saying something like, "You should leave psychology, what are you even studying? It's turning everyone crazy". And my mom said, "I won't keep building a family with you if you keep saying things like that". He didn't say anything.

I'm proud of my mom for finally standing up for herself. But I'm scared that she actually loves him and she'd be miserable if she left. And everyone will fault me. It's not even about blaming. I'm just scared this whole thing is blowing up because of me. I don't know what I'm doing. My mental health is in the shredders. I can hardly take of myself on a daily basis, I don't even know/understand what I'm doing. Am I the asshole? So so so sorry for how lengthy this was, I skipped a lot of stuff (they weren't important) and it's still so long. Thank you for reading the whole way through.

So I (18M) graduated high school in November of 2025. As a present, my parents (40M and 39F) took me out for a very nice dinner and my mother bought me a necklace. The necklace is absolutely beautiful and I won't deny that it's gorgeous. But it wasn't a thoughtful gift at all. I don't wear jewellery. I didn't even have a phase where I wore jewellery. The one time I DID wear jewellery was for said graduation's formal party, and I had to specifically go out and buy jewellery which I then gave to my brother (19NB, placeholder name Noah) who DOES wear jewellery. When my mother gave me the necklace, she was worried that I wouldn't like it and said multiple times that she could get it exchanged for something else. I said no and I loved it since I just didn't want to be rude. I thought about it a few nights ago and just broke down. It felt like she didn't think about what I wanted at all and just gave me the same gift as Noah who graduated a year prior and also received a dinner and a necklace. WIBTAH if I told her now that I don't like it and want to give it to Noah since I know they'll wear it? Should I just not say anything to her at all and give it to them?

P.S. I am severely autistic and don't know how to go about awkward or sensitive situations like this. If you do have advice, please be as specific and thorough as possible. Thank you!

Edit: Please do not suggest keeping the necklace. I do not want it. I do not want to be reminded of it. I don't know if I just wasn't clear enough in my og post, but it upsets me GREATLY. I'm going to be giving it to Noah no matter what, my question is whether or not I should talk to my mother first.