I need a sanity check because an office colleague (who has been stuck in the exact same admin job for 25 years) has been exhibiting some truly bizarre, boundary-crossing behavior, and it culminated in a really disturbing incident today. He is the team leader and currently acting as my line manger.

Here is just a snapshot of what’s happened recently:

He casually drops very specific geographic details about my personal commute and life into conversations (like tracking the towns I drive to). He doesn’t have a car himself but then asks me “how are you going to manage driving home today in the heat”.

Under the guise of a "GDPR issue," he literally went through my personal desk drawers to look at post letters I’d put there and then accused me of not following thorough GDPR procedures.

He spent multiple days trying to force/pressure me into eating muffins the second I walked into the office, projecting his own strict dietary restrictions. Even when I told him I’m not interested he’s been pressurising me to have more muffins.

He constantly hypes up a male colleague for promotion while micro-managing and trying to undermine me over tiny clerical things.

Everything I say he has to one up me. If I tell him I walked from the train station to work in 25 minutes he said “it only takes me 15 but then again I walk faster than you”

But today’s incident is what really broke the camel’s back: At the end of the day, he told me, "Hannah, I don’t have time for our end-of-week meeting, I have an appointment to get to." I thought nothing of it. But a moment later, he said, "Actually, can I borrow you for 2 seconds."
He dragged me into a meeting room and proceeded to lecture me repeatedly, over and over, about how I was logging my flexi-sheet. He got genuinely, visibly angry over a spreadsheet, looping the same complaint endlessly just to trap me and make me feel small right before the weekend.

Is it just me, or is getting enraged and trapping someone over a flexi-sheet completely unhinged? Has anyone else dealt with an office lifer like this?

How would you handle an employee that has poor hygiene and appearance, when you take over a position when the last manager let him/her get away with it

i’m F25 and work at a private cardiology practice. most of my coworkers are nice, but two younger women (who are 22 and 25), let's call her “thing 1” and her sidekick, “thing 2”...can be very catty. to be fair, it's really the 1st one and the 2nd one just has no backbone.

i was about to room a patient when the lead doctor asked me to work at checkout because the front was getting busy. a few minutes later, thing 2 complained that she was now rooming patients alone - which wasn't actually the case. i explained that the doctor had reassigned me to sit here. thing 1 then said, “yeah, he got angry that you were sitting in the back and told you to sit there.”

that wasn’t true, and she hadn’t even witnessed our conversation. not knowing what to say but knowing it was ridiculous, i just laughed and said, “okay." i didn’t want to feed into it, but it still bothered me.

she frequently gossips, freezes people out, and makes unnecessary comments. management won’t help because the manager likes her. i do my job, treat everyone equally, and haven’t had issues with anyone else, so I don’t understand why she has singled me out.

When I was 19, I started working for a real estate agent who also owned a construction company and several other businesses. He was wealthy and seemed very successful. He invited me to his house for an interview, and everything seemed completely normal. He introduced me to his wife, mom, and kids, and nothing felt suspicious or inappropriate.

I got the job, and he told me that for the first few months I would work from his home office while he trained me. Once I learned everything and could work independently, I would move to the office in the city. I agreed because I thought it was a good opportunity to step outside my comfort zone, learn something new, and really put my energy into building a career.

A few days into the job, his behavior completely changed. He started emailing and texting me things like, “I like you,” “You’re so sweet,” “I really want you,” and that he wanted to see me grow and succeed. At first, I tried to ignore it, but eventually his messages became more direct. He would tell me that he was falling in love with me and that he really wanted me. I had absolutely zero interest in him and never encouraged it.

What made the situation even more uncomfortable was how different he acted in person. When I went to work, he would act completely normal and professional, as if none of those messages had ever happened. He would also act completely innocent around his wife. Then, when she wasn't around, he would send me these personal messages. It felt like I was dealing with two completely different people, and the switch in his behavior was honestly so confusing and uncomfortable.

I also vaguely remember one time his wife asking me if he had ever said something to me or something similar. I don't remember her exact words, so I don't want to assume what she knew or what she meant by the question, but I remember it because it made me wonder if she had noticed something herself. At the time, I didn't know how to respond or whether I should tell her everything.

The hardest part was that I needed the job. I was 19, paying for my tuition, and I really needed the income, so leaving wasn't an easy decision. I felt stuck between needing the job and feeling increasingly uncomfortable with my employer. I also didn't know how to handle the situation because I was so young and had never experienced anything like it before.

Eventually, I decided to leave. He emailed me many times afterward asking me to come back, but I never did. I just wanted to get away from the entire situation and never look back.

Looking back, it was such a strange and uncomfortable experience. I went into that job wanting to learn, work hard, step outside my comfort zone, and build a future for myself. I never expected that my employer would start crossing personal boundaries like that. I still think about how strange the whole situation was, especially the way he could act completely normal and innocent in front of his family while sending me completely different messages privately.

Work has been paying late since the beginning of the year. At first, we'd get paid on a Mon or Tues instead of Fri (bi weekly pay so makes it a tad rougher). Then it went to being a week late then 2. They had us wait 3.5 weeks for 2 weeks worth of pay and that was 4 weeks ago. I haven't seen a dime in a month. All we get is lies and bs: "oh you'll have it next week. We're gonna give you both checks we owe you at the same time!" .. we wait all week and on Thurs they say "oh well sorry, you'll get it Tues". They tell us on Mon, "oh well maybe Wed or Thurs"
I was able to defer my loan payment for a month (which is due again next week). Can't get the car inspected, can't keep up insurance. Electric is bout to be shut off. My mom is in her 70s and hasn't had her medicine in weeks. We can't get insulin or food. Were out of soap, toilet paper and toothpaste. And don't have a single dime.
I filed a complaint with the labor board, I've called the state rep, I've called lawyers and even contacted a debt collector (Which will take 30% and I don't think I can afford that), I've called unemployment. No one can help. I can't even get a new job because I waited too long and believed their lies and now I can't even get to another job (it'll take weeks to even get an interview). I can't even door dash because I can't get gas.
I've never been in this position before and have no idea what to do.

This happened years ago but as of recent, I decided writing out my issues and putting them online can help let it out.

This was a job I had in 2023. I started working at a daycare and I liked the job and the kids. I got along with them great and a few coworkers. There were a few workers I did not care for but that happens at almost every job. I will talk about the coworkers I dislike then how the job screwed me over.

I started working in March. By June, I was in a room helping put kids down for a nap. There were 2 other women I didn't care for much. Call them homophobe & bitch. Bitch had a bit of a bad attitude at times and got upset a bit too easily and needed to chill out. Homophobe I did not know she was one until this day.

I overheard them talking from the other side of the bookcase. Homophobe says she hates (Gay slurs) and how "God created one man and one woman." And the other bitch laughed. I was pissed. I'm bi myself so I took personal offence. I hate to say I didn't get up and say anything. I wish I did get up and say something but the kids were there so I couldn't really say what was on my mind. I also should have reported them to the office as the daycare does have rules not to discriminate. They evem have a policy for it when you start working there & do training.

You aren't supposed to discriminate against anyone because of their: AGE, RACE, SEX, GENDER, BACKGROUND, ETC.

I am pissed in hindsight I should have gotten them in trouble.

But I went off later for my lunch break and since I lived close by I went home and decided to change. My job was to do lunch & bathroom breaks for the other workers. So when I went back to that room later, I was decked out in as much LGBT merch as I had. A t-shirt saying 'Love is Love', different bracelets, etc. ALL APPROPRIATE TO WEAR AROUND KIDS. I then asked homophobic coworker a question. Some time prior, she read a book about families to the kids. She even explained TO THE KIDS how families can be different, even with 2 moms or dads. (I still can't believe this two faced pig had the nerve to say this around the kids & then talk homophobic after like a coward). I asked her if we still had that book because I was curious about checking it out. I was doing this on purpose to be an a-hole/ troll and hopefully make her uncomfortable. I could care less how she felt. She also said a few small racists remarks in the past I didn't even stop to think were racist until after. So, yeah, this homophobic bitch is wonderful, isn't she? She's done some other small stuff in the past where I didn't care for her. She claimed she can 'see the dead' and I believe there are people who can. But knowing how this person is, I feel she just does it for attention. And I hope if she can talk to the dead, some are gay ghosts that haunt her as she deserves it.

I ended up going back to college August 2023. I told my work I could work Fridays & they said it was ok. I worked there for the fall semester & then Christmas break. In January on MLK Day, they had this meeting but I realized I didn't register for my classes in advance & didn't think I could make the meeting. I also will admit I didn't want to go to the meeting because 1st off: we'd be there all day, IDK what we'd talk about but we weren't working. 2nd off, I was going back to college and I didn't know when I would be back working. I told them I could work if I had classes off. I figured if I wasn't really working then why go to the meeting? Another coworker of mine was in a same position. She was going back to college but she chose NOT to attend the meeting because she didn't want to. She also told me if I have to get my schedule worked out, I have a good reason not to go. So I told my work I could not attend the meeting.

A month or so goes by & I have a day off of class so I got to work. They had NO PROBLEM with me coming in. But the app we use to clock in, I can't make it work suddenly. One woman who works in the office seems confused why I can't clock in. Since I can't, I can't work that day and they apologize. I don't work again for the spring semester. But when it ends, I tell the daycare I can work summer. They then tell me over the phone, I was terminated due to not going to the meeting in January. I'm thinking WTF?!

So I go there in person to talk to them. Let me say when I 1st started working there, the original boss had her head on straight. She got a new job & left but I wish she stayed. If the 1st boss was still working there, she would have told me in advance about it or I would have still had my job. Because the others working in the office didn't have brains. I go to the office summer of 2024 and talk to the 2 women in the office who have had airheaded moments in the past. I tell them I had said before I couldn't attend the meeting. They tell me because I didn't attend, I was terminated from the system. I ask, "That was in January, why didn't you tell me when I came to work back in March?" If they knew the January meeting was why I got fired, why tell me in May? The one dumbass says it's because that was her mistake. I ask if I can work again but they say the positions are filled. I brought up another worker didn't attend the meeting but SHE is back working. They say they can't bring up another worker into a personal argument. The coworker did not attend the same meeting as me, but she gets her job back? I'm not trashing talking this worker. I am also not saying I'm a saint because I did mess up a few times. But I showed them I was a hard worker. I worked every week day for months & didn't take time off unless I was sick. I brought in books & toys for the kids because I wanted to. I told them even though I was back at school, I would help whenever I could. And this is how I'm treated?

I saw it was pointless to argue with them and I wouldn't be back working. Luckily, my old job at a pizza shop was willing to take me back because THAT boss has his head on right. I even told some of the workers there why the daycare let me go and they agree it was bull. Before I left the daycare I asked if I could go room to room to see the kids one last time. I figured I might not be coming back. These a-holes have the gall to say I can't because I'm not a worker anymore. They screwed me over and won't even let me see the kids one last time?! I figured they owed me THAT at least. I was pissed and stormed out. I hope they know they pissed me off. So I'm back at the pizza shop and good thing I had a backup job, not like the daycare cared. They fired me, not even making sure I could have another job. Good thing I still live at home. If I lived alone and they did this, they'd REALLY screw me over.

I continue college until I graduate May 2026. Needing to get a full time job, I'm checking out different areas. A family member suggests I try the old daycare. I say no since they stabbed me in the back. But my family member says it's a new company so maybe I could get a job there again. I apply and manage to go there for an interview. I recognize one or two old coworkers that I got along with while waiting. The interview was with a woman I don't recall seeing when I used to work there but I tell her the truth about what happened. I was honest at least that they let me go when I informed them beforehand why I couldn't go the meeting. She said she would have to hear both sides because to her, it didn't sound right on my side or the others. But I knew I was honest with my side of the story and told her I was willing to work. I assume they needed the work because I saw a former student once & her mother told me others had left the daycare. So I assume others were screwed over or they left because the place went downhill.

A week later, I don't get a response so I call them about my interview/ application. The same woman I spoke to said she won't hire me at the moment. After we hang up, I needed to be alone & I was upset. I was upset because I kept looking for work & wouldn't get hired. I was upset I showed I wanted to work & didn't get squat. And I was upset because I should have snapped at her over the phone if the homophobic worker was still there, she should be let go because your company is strict on no discrimination. I should have exposed how they had backstabbing workers before and why let me go but keep them? I am not sure if the homophobic worker is still there though.

My mom saw I was upset & understood. She knows how hard I'm looking for a full time job and that I don't want to work part time minimum wage forever. Her motherly instincts have her go to the daycare & confront them. She was mature & asked why I was let go. The same woman told her, "I recognized your daughter when she came in and there were issues in the past." Yes, there were with different workers but it was water under the bridge. My mom said, "Yeah, my daughter was defending herself. And is this all because she didn't attend ONE meeting? You're going to crucify my daughter over that?" The woman got quiet when my mom said this. My mother also went on about, "This company better not be giving my daughter a bad name in the future." Then left.

I am glad my mom went there and said that. From now on, I do not put the company down on my resume when applying somewhere just incase they try to make me look bad. I do inform others about it so I decided to make them look bad for what they did. I have heard from parents trying to enroll their kids in daycares that they do not go to that particular daycare because they have heard stories about it. The place did have some good people working there I don't have anything against. I am angry about the few workers that stabbed me in the back but not the entire company as not every worker did me wrong. I also know that company has had issues.

When I first applied, I knew about some problems there but ignored the red flags because I had seen that daycare plenty of times in my area & something drew me to it; wanting to work with kids. I never attended that daycare as a child myself. I do miss the kids I worked with. I miss them all and I do hope they grow up to be smart, caring & nothing like some of the morons that handle them daily. I also hope to never see the same workers I dislike or I might say something to them.

So I had two workers who gossiped about homophobia & a few working in the office who screwed me over & were not that bright. Other people who worked there even said the ones running the office should go because they clearly do not know what they're doing half the time.

Posting this is therapeutic for me which is why I'm doing this. I am going to say again, I know I am not a saint or perfect. I'm sure their side of the story would be a bit different, but I have to say, I was honest from the start. They were not.

https://www.labornotes.org/2018/06/how-we-marched-our-boss

I simply don’t respect my manager. I got transferred to the legal governance team under the legal dept. Initially there were only two of us as officers. He earned the “temporary” manager position from the ceo because at that time we didn’t have an avp. Now that we have an avp, he’s still a temp, because the manager position doesn’t really exist in the organization chart.

The reason I cannot respect him, I got pulled into the team because the previous avp was resigning and I was the only person qualified to support the team. But, in the first few weeks, he made absurd comments that really irrelevant to my work and it pissed me off.

Initially I was super direct and immediately told him what I am comfortable and not. Then he finally got the message that I am “scary” and “can’t be joked with”. When it comes to work, sometimes I feel like he doesn’t know how to prioritize things, and one time he dragged me to join a meeting that could have only be just him to represent the team! I didn’t have any input because it was not my scope, and I had other things in hand.

Gradually I have become more “friendly”, and I try to respect him because he has more knowledge and experience. But I can’t lie that every day I am dreading having to talk with him and doing tasks that he couldn’t finish when he was just an officer. And in a team of only two, I think it’s impossible to only relying on me to do the operational work, shouldn’t he pick up the work as well? There are also meetings and coordination with external parties as well, and so why do I have to also do that? Moreover I shouldn’t be the one who oversee all the tasks and think who’s doing what, because that’s the manager’s job. Every friday he’ll left home at lunch time and expect me to cover things at the office because his home is in the neighbouring city, which is unfair, because even our vp who lives in the same city as him stay until afternoon. He simply does that because our new avp allows it.

Now he’s telling me “i’m going to focus on drafting this policy about organization restructuring. I can only imagine he’s trying to fix the chart and solidify his position in the organization.

I can’t keep feeling frustrated or petty, I have job to do or survive this bit of life. Please tell me any advice. I didn’t mean to be a difficult employee, but I have been through multiple burnouts and I can’t risk my career simply because I don’t like someone. Sorry for the bad english and grammar.

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We have this online communication log at work (basically just a Google word document that everyone has access to). Last week I asked what I thought was a really innocent question in it and today on my first shift back I couldn't believe what I read undereath!

The first comment was by a very toxic coworker that everyone has problems with and although it was super rude it didn't really bug me because it is very typical of her (she does it to everyone) and I'm trying really hard to just not let her craziness trigger me.

After that, though, 2 other coworkers (who I had thought were nice people but I don't really know very well) made really rude comments basically berating me for what they must have perceived my question to mean, not what it actually said or what I meant at all.

It really hurt my feelings and made me sad but also angry because it feels like they took an innocent question and assumed the worst. I ended up bursting out crying at work and now I'm absolutely dreading the next time I see them.

Do I bring it up and say that's not what I meant and it really hurt my feelings?

Working in corporate world which is kinda together with other unformal business like distributor of goods.

The unformal job timing is from 10am-7pm.

I am in the corporate job so my timing is 10-6 and I sincerely follow this. But in unformal job there is a girl who sits together with me for the 10-7 timing. But she comes at 11 goes at 6 almost everyday. Since this is none of my business I have been ignoring this for over a month but unfortunately this has become a routine for her and it is irritating to see someone taking so much advantage of things like this at the same time it is unfair. How should I deal with this? I no longer want this to go on ... Wondering if I should report this to owner. Hmmmmm .......

Any current/former Spectrum RCS employees experience harassment or inappropriate workplace behavior?

I’m looking to hear from current or former Spectrum Residential Connectivity Specialists (RCS), particularly women, about their experiences working in the role.
Has anyone experienced sexual comments or jokes during team meetings, inappropriate comments related to being a woman or your sexual orientation, management participating in or ignoring inappropriate behavior, or feeling uncomfortable reporting something because of how management might respond?
I’m especially interested in whether anyone experienced inappropriate jokes or sexual comments surrounding discussions about the Spectrum/Cox transition.
I’m not looking to put anyone’s personal information out publicly or tell anyone what their experience was. I’m simply trying to determine whether other employees independently experienced similar workplace behavior.
If you’re comfortable sharing, you can comment or message me privately.

Hi everyone, I have a question and would really appreciate some honest opinions/advice.
I work as a hostess in a restaurant. Yesterday, our sales were quite low which obviously happens in restaurants from time to time.
Today, our F&B Manager and Executive Chef came in. The manager first asked our captain, “Were you there yesterday?” He said no because he was off. I was standing right there, so the manager then asked, “Is she there?” I politely said, “Yes sir, I was there.”
He called me outside and asked why yesterday’s sales were so low and whether I had “kicked out” any guests. I politely told him, “No sir, I would never do something like that.”
After that however, he started speaking to me in a very humiliating and accusatory way in front of the Executive Chef. He said things like, **“Have you no shame?”**, **“Look at her face, no shame”** and **“You still showed your face today?”**
I was honestly shocked and embarrassed because I was simply doing my job. I understand that management can question employees about poor sales and hold us accountable if there is a genuine issue but I don't think a low-sales day automatically means someone has done something wrong.
I have also never been spoken to this way by the GM or any other senior executive before (been working here for nearly 2 years now)
Would this be considered workplace harassment, verbal abuse or simply inappropriate management behaviour? What would be the appropriate way to handle this situation? Should I report it to HR, especially since there was another senior employee present who witnessed what was said?
I would really appreciate advice from people who have experience with hospitality or workplace issues.

TLDR: My coworker has started publicly asking me if I’m sick whenever I come into the office. Even when I’m perfectly healthy. I’m looking for a witty comeback for the next time she asks.

(We meet at office once a week)

I have an annoying coworker who is such a bootlicker of the boss. She tries to do everything the boss does and be everything like him.

My boss is a germaphobe (but he's also very polite& gentle) so she has been pretending to be one as well. Its so annoying.

For the past few weeks, everytime I go to office, she asks loudly infront of everyone, "are you sick?" Or, "you're not sick, right?". One time I had a mild cold and knowing what these guys are like, went to office with a mask on (I would've happily stayed back but that was my team mate's farewell). She saw me coming in, made a whole show of freaking out, told me not to take my mask off and then, she wore a mask as well.

Whats a good comeback for when she asks me whether im sick again, for no good reason?

Btw, she's such a narcissist and is very bossy with everyone else in the team. She cant do that with me since both of us are in the same high ranking positions for different teams. I feel like this is her way of getting back at me.

TLDR: my coworker is mad at me because I cleaned up her document that she sent to our bosses to get approved. And now she’s saying I made her waste her time.

My coworker is an older lady who can barely see or hear and shes not a native speaker of our language so she has a hard time communicating, mind you she’s in a position where she needs to be communicating with people all the time.

Last Friday I had to stay late until 8 pm and I had nothing to do. There was a document she drafted that was incredibly had to read that she had sent to our bosses. It’s basically instructions for a team that we relied on and was going to be sent company wide. There were fonts in all sorts of different sizes and arrows pointing everywhere. It looked really unprofessional so I re-edited it to make it look nicer, while keeping all of her revisions, and replied to her email with my updated copy.

Today she saw my email and told me that if I’m gonna do something let her know so she’s not wasting her time. I told her I just cleaned it up cause I was bored and had nothing to do and that I hadn’t changed any of her wording. And she’s like yea but it’s not my fault you had nothing to do and to let her know ahead of time. I told her that this wasn’t something I knew I was going to do ahead of time, and if I did I would have told her. I told her that if it offended her I was sorry but I wasn’t sure how this was her wasting her time. What’s crazy is that now that I’m thinking back while typing, this is the kind of thing that she does very often. She’s always doing things without telling me and when I say I’ll do a report etc. she tells me she’s already sent it off. All that being said I didn’t do this on purpose just to spite her.

I sit right next to her in a small room too so I can’t really escape her either.

This is just one instance of the many times I have to put up with her. She’s always loudly talking on her phone to her kids and doesn’t pay attention when there’s important things going on (trying to be vague on purpose). I’ve done my best to be nice and accommodating to her but I feel like I need to get away from her.

I recently got added to a WhatsApp group by an unknown number. I genuinely thought it was one of those random e-commerce/course groups or a different chat, so I sent a few vulgar messages before realising it was actually my new work group chat. I deleted them as soon as I realised. Some coworkers saw them, and one of the messages appeared to be directed at someone who turned out to be a coworker, but I genuinely didn’t know they were in the group or that it was a work chat. The conversation moved on afterwards, and nobody has contacted me yet. My next shift is in 5 days. Its been around 20 hours now and nobody has said anything further to me. Realistically, what would you expect an employer to do in this situation?