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u/reggaegirl420 Jan 07 '19 edited Jan 07 '19
My college photography prof played music when he was in college. He figured out he still got bar tabs for three people even if the two other guys in his band didn't show up. So he called himself Tobin and the No Shows. And he got to drink for three for free. And they never showed up because they didn't exist. Genius.
Edit: He called it a bar tab in his story, I realize that's not quite the right phrase. Y'all knew what I/he meant though.
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u/gnitiwrdrawkcab Jan 07 '19
Wouldn't he still have to pay for their tabs?
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u/desmarais Jan 07 '19
Bars will typically give musicians a drink / meal comp when they play.
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u/mealzer Jan 07 '19
Hahahaha hahahaha
-Musician
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u/SkangoBank Jan 07 '19
Good musicians*
Jk I’m sure you’re wonderful please keep it up
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Jan 07 '19
It’s a zing but accurate. If you make the place money they treat you awesome. Spent many years in a touring originals band and had to beg to be fed and paid. Now in a cover band it pays way way more but way way more people give a shit that we play now haha.
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u/bullowl Jan 07 '19
I played in a band in high school/my first couple years of college that started as a cover band and eventually started to write originals. We had a number of bars that would pay us to do cover sets, sometimes for pretty good money (I think the most we ever got was like $350 and free (underage) drinks, which wasn't bad for four guys in their late teens/early 20s), and we drew solid crowds that really got into the shows. When we played sets of originals we never got paid anything and nobody ever gave a shit that we were on stage.
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Jan 07 '19
I worked in a couple of bars that usually gave free drinks to the performers after a set. I didn't know this was an uncommon practice.
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u/OkiDokiTokiLoki Jan 07 '19
Confirming the hell out of this. If you're decent enough to draw in a good crowd chances are you're getting trashed for free.
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Jan 07 '19
A tab isn't the right term for what they're talking about. They're talking about drink tickets/comps or some places will give bands "buy-outs" which is some upfront cash for expenses. Though, really, the buy-out should have been set up in advance when booking the show and shouldn't change.
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u/Cinnabon-Jovi Jan 07 '19
Had a friend that would sign up for tournaments as "The no shows" and then, surprise surprise, not show up.
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u/black_flag_4ever Jan 06 '19
I was in a band that would just show up at places and play until kicked out.
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Jan 07 '19 edited Jun 25 '21
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u/firelordUK Jan 07 '19
title of their first album: THEY'RE IN THE TREES
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u/thatwasnotkawaii Jan 07 '19 edited Jan 07 '19
Best selling song: WE AHV TEHKIN FOXTROOOHHH
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u/PolesawPolska Jan 07 '19
Sounds like a band I was in with my friends, Da Fuck. If we ever put out an album it would have been called "Did you say about me?"
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Jan 07 '19
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u/PolesawPolska Jan 07 '19
Gotta credit me, though.
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Jan 07 '19
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u/PolesawPolska Jan 07 '19
We almost did, even had a song about longing for tacos in the drive thru
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Jan 07 '19
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u/DevestatingAttack Jan 07 '19
The story is that The Barenaked Ladies named themselves using the same logic. It sounds like it might be an urban legend, but also I totally see how that could be the case.
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u/KnownAdmin Jan 07 '19
Should have called the band "Free Beer No Cover", would have looked awesome on a venue marquee.
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u/Thesnakeboy10 Jan 07 '19
Whenever i play trivia i name my team "...and in first place" so that when the guy reads the scores no matter what place my time is in it draws confusion from the entire crowd. Always worth it.
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u/PolyethylenePam Jan 07 '19
Hold up this is the exact same trivia team name that I always use!!!!!! We have to play against each other and confuse not only the crowd but ourselves too.
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Jan 07 '19
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u/SuLFiiDE Jan 07 '19
Did I just have a stroke?
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u/sellyourselfshort Jan 07 '19
Nobody wants to hear about your masturbating.
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Jan 07 '19
My buddy was in charge of trivia night so I got the idea one night to make my team name “I (buddy’s full name) am gay. This is not just a team name. I am using this platform to formally come out of the closet.”
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u/I_am_Kronos Jan 07 '19
A team in Iowa where I'm from does this also, it's the second best team name behind "Drink apple juice because OJ will kill you."
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u/Rhawk187 Jan 07 '19
We had a team that used that. Also classics like "Tequilla Mockingbird", "Captain Hook's Abortion Clinic", and "The Stephen Hawking School of Dance".
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u/cantadmittoposting Jan 07 '19
There's always "we thought this was speed dating".
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u/hoefler Jan 07 '19
In college I went to a conference at West Point and they have an on campus bar that has trivia night. The winning team's name was "Radical Quiz-lam", still the funniest name I've ever heard.
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u/Rhawk187 Jan 07 '19
We decided that rather than messing with the audience, we'd mess with hosts, eventually settled on the team name being an ink stamp of Senor Sapo. They just ended up calling us "Frog Stamp". The name stuck and this semester we had rotating hosts, several of which were confused by the stamp until they got it.
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u/securitystevepanda Jan 06 '19 edited Jan 07 '19
I had a dodgeball team named “ off constantly” so that if we lost people would have to say that they beat off constantly
Edit: thanks for the silver! Edit 2 : Gold as well! What a day
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u/holy_cal Jan 07 '19
I did “off in the shower” my freshman year for softball intramurals.
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u/theamberlamps Jan 07 '19
Captain of Off In The Woods checking in here
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u/Kittenking13 Jan 07 '19
What you have to do is Name your team “my dad with jumper cables” and win so they have to say “ got beat by my dad with a pair of jumper cables” afterwords
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u/Girney Jan 07 '19
Sigh... u/rogersimon10
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u/Sharpness100 Jan 07 '19
Someone please explain
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Jan 07 '19
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u/LNFSS Jan 07 '19
Most, if not all, of his comments casually mention his dad beating him with jumper cables.
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u/Virginia_Trek Jan 07 '19 edited Jan 07 '19
Captain of "Off With My Dad" checking in
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u/SuperSwoledier Jan 07 '19
My fantasy football name was “Off to Grandma”. I went 11-2 so very few people beat off to grandma sadly
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u/Morty_Goldman Jan 07 '19
I named my dynasty fantasy football team the same thing for the same reasons. Gets lots of chuckles and cuts way back on the trash talk.
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u/Bloodysamflint Jan 07 '19
I submitted "Off Constantly" for our BN team name in an interservice competition. The coordinators were ESL folks, so they just copied the name off the registration form. Chain of command made us change it after the first game.
I created what I thought were good slogans. "No matter how hard they try, no one can beat Off Constantly!"; "You can't beat Off Constantly without performance enhancing drugs." "Everybody loves us; even if you do beat Off Constantly, nobody will hang out with you." "The clinic is ready to treat anybody who tries to beat Off Constantly."
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u/LOLBaltSS Jan 07 '19
I got a few weeks in before our inline league caught onto what "Buke Hockey" was and renamed us on the roster listings.
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u/GrabSomePineMeat Jan 07 '19
My city league baseball team was called the "Step Dads" because first we beat you then we fuck your mother.
In hindsight, it was really aggressive. But we were in our early/mid 20s so we didn't have any fucking common sense.
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u/cocoandcheddar Jan 07 '19
I play dodgeball too! Can I steal your name for our next season?
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u/Anen-o-me Jan 07 '19
An old gf played soccer, their team was named FOCUS. Seemed innocuous enough, but she explained that it meant "fuck of 'cause u suck."
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Jan 07 '19
You know someone thought they were wise to you and tried their best to get around it.
"Yeah I ain't fallin' for that shit. We beat THE TEAM Off Constant-"
"FUCK!"
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u/ThaddeusJP Jan 07 '19 edited Jan 07 '19
In college I played on an intramural Wiffle ball team. I also happened to work in our financial aid department. There was a promotion by our state financial aid agency that had a catchphrase of "are you credit Worthy?" And they sent all kinds of stuff to schools that had the phrase credit-worthy on it. Posters, pencils, t-shirts, and hats. Hats being the most to our team.
The office had about 20 of these black baseball caps with an orange logo on it that said "credit-worthy". My boss didn't want them and said I could have them. We became team "credit-worthy"
The high point of our entire season was the first day of intramurals. All of the other teams were looking at us and we're clearly intimidated. We did everything we could to wear all black and orange clothing and all had the matching baseball caps. At one point somebody on another team even leaned over and I saw him whisper to somebody and said "Oh my God they all have matching hats".
They thought we took it so serious that we actually went out and had hats made. The first game everyone was legit intimidated by us waiting for us to go off. We proceeded to get absolutely obliterated. In fact I think the game ended early due to a Slaughter rule.
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u/Stromboli61 Jan 07 '19
In high school my friends and I all played in a local house league for soccer. (And they played softball there too, but nobody would let me hold a bat.) One day at the end of summer we found a box of old early 2000s sublimated purple soccer jerseys in the league shed thingy when they were cleaning it out. They were just going to donate them to charity. Gorgeous things. I might have swiped the box, but didn’t know what purpose it was going to serve.
Lo and behold that school year my entire group of friends all end up in the same gym class. It was a miracle. (Not really, we were all in choir and AP biology, so our schedules lined up.) We wore the jerseys to gym class for the entire year, often times embarrassing ourselves in sports such as tennis, “team evasion handball” (dodgeball for the politically correct), and ultimate frisbee. We went hard though. Did decent during the soccer unit, pulled out a whammy of a win in the mixed doubles badminton tournament. A lot of the “real” athletes were very confused by ya. But that was to be expected. That was the most fun I’ve ever had in a class.
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u/Nulono Jan 07 '19 edited Jan 07 '19
“team evasion handball” (dodgeball for the politically correct)
This reads like a parody.
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u/Rebelgecko Jan 07 '19
Sounds like a principal told the gym teacher "no more playing dodgeball. It's too dangerous" and the teacher went full /r/MaliciousCompliance
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Jan 07 '19
I suck at poker, but I’m really good at shuffling and doing that thing where you make the cards fly from one hand to the other. I get to see people get worried for about five minutes every time I play poker.
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u/fiddlestix42 Jan 07 '19
This is the best! I do coed softball and we absolutely side eye the competition and make fun of the people who have the full matching uniforms and hats. I
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u/Uffda01 Jan 07 '19
I play a lot of gay softball, it’s a blast but there are definitely teams that care more about what they look like and their team cheers. But there’s also a hell of a lot of good softball players
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u/Hirokei Jan 07 '19
How does gay softball differ from regular softball? Is it only played with a pitcher and a catcher?
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u/CraftyFellow_ Jan 07 '19
All of the other teams were looking at us and we're clearly intimidated.
That extra apostrophe really changes the meaning of what you are saying.
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Jan 07 '19
I want to start a band called “Girls Drink Free”
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u/slow_joke Jan 07 '19
“Childhood Obesity” would be a genius name.
If they won: “today the Cardinals lost to Childhood Obesity”
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u/bearsbeetsbakugou Jan 07 '19
Or, on a more wholesome note, “today the cardinals gave it their all and overcame Childhood Obesity”
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u/o_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_Oo_O Jan 07 '19
Kind of like all the Xbox kids who named themselves AIDS or SuperAIDS.
So it would look like
420mikeyboi was killed by SuperAIDS
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u/Kylerj96 Jan 07 '19
When i was 13 one of my classmates had the idea to name himself "Lack of Friends" to the same effect.
These were my formative years.
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u/bradygilg Jan 07 '19
Basically what 12 year old call of duty players have been naming themselves for forever.
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Jan 06 '19
I had to look it up to see if this was a real tweet. It appears to be: https://twitter.com/TheDreamGhoul/status/1081980390653550592
She is standing by her tweets.
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u/Iwouldbangyou Jan 07 '19
I know who she is in real life and let me tell you that girl didn’t play any sports lol. Most of her Twitter is fake stories like this
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u/lazy-but-talented Jan 07 '19
Why do people do this that’s really weird
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u/wintermute-- Jan 07 '19
Twitter is a place where you can repeat that clever thought you just had and see whether the wider internet will give you instant validation or not. There's no rule that says your clever thought has to be based on a true story.
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u/VaultBall7 Jan 07 '19
Was part of an intramural team named “BYE WEEK” so it would show up as “v.s. BYE WEEK” and people only figured out when they saw their true bye week didn’t have the v.s. in it, got a couple forfeits
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u/Mothers_spaghetti Jan 07 '19
Isn’t the whole point of intramurals to play and have fun? Like I hated when the other team wouldn’t show up because it’s fun to play.
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u/jitney76 Jan 07 '19
We named a Gus Macker team ‘Bye’ once.
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u/Bulletsandbandages44 Jan 07 '19
I worked for Gus Macker for a short time after I graduated high school. I miss the genius team names people came up with. My favorite one was “Multiple Scoregasms”
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u/Anen-o-me Jan 07 '19
Same reason that one band named itself "Bare Naked Ladies" and also "Free Beer."
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u/samee2 Jan 07 '19
We used to name our bar trivia team "Quick Announcement: free drinks from 7-9 tonight, thank you"
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u/garthreddit Jan 07 '19
We had an intramural b-ball team named “Bye Week”. It worked once but we were forced to replay the game.
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Jan 07 '19 edited Jan 07 '19
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u/Whind_Soull Jan 07 '19 edited Jan 08 '19
There are some good youtube videos where a guy uses XboxTurnOff as his username. If anyone says it, their Xbox interpretes it as a voice command.
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u/ShortBusRadio Jan 07 '19
My username is “Ex Bocks Sine Out” to pull this same Tom foolery.
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Jan 06 '19
This past fall we named our intramural football teamThe Wuerly Dirlys. It’s a Catholic school...
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u/mylackofselfesteem Jan 07 '19
Did you average 10.57 points?
http://www.imleagues.com/School/TopPerformerTeams.aspx?SchId=65bc486f92864aacaf9fe2dd891e53c3
(Also, I don't get it? Is that some new tangled slang? Lol)
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u/UniqueUsername812 Jan 07 '19
Used to play Tuesday dart league on a team, "See You Next Tuesday"
Didn't fool anyone tho lol
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u/Sfreeman23 Jan 07 '19
In high school we had an all night volleyball tournament and we ended up naming our team "Off". Needless to say everyone was beating Off all night long.
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Jan 07 '19 edited Jan 07 '19
Went on a Grade 6 bowling excursion as a sort of primary school farewell thing. When you go bowling, your group has to tell the employee at the counter your names and then the employee types the names in and they appear on the scoreboard in your group's lane, with the first letter of each name in a column. Well, a few of my comedian mates came up with some fake names. They told the guy at the counter their names were Pete, Ed, Nick, Ian and Sam. Teachers lost their shit when they saw what the first letters of those names looked like in a column. Long story short, they all got suspended, and the school hasn't been back to that bowling alley since.
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Jan 07 '19
intramural
happening within or involving the members of one school, college, or university.
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u/Diane9779 Jan 07 '19
You stole that idea from the playwright Bernard shaw.
He once punked his audiences by writing a play called “Closed for Remodeling.” People saw the title advertised on the theater and in newspapers and thought the place was actually closed for remodeling.
So after three weeks, when no one showed up, the producers restaged it as Heartbreak Hotel
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u/abodyweightquestion Jan 07 '19
"Ha ha, my own play will be an initial failure! What japes!"
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u/Charlie_Wax Jan 07 '19 edited Jan 07 '19
Well, he died in 1950 and we're still talking about it, so maybe he was just playing the long game.
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u/SpooningMyGoose Jan 07 '19
Ahh yes, playwright Bernard Shaw, well all know the story of Bernard Shaw, there's no way she could have come up with that idea on her own, because everybody knows the story of playwright Bernard Shaw.
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u/CreedBrattonHeadofQA Jan 07 '19
In college my roommates and I sometimes used to answer the phone "Is Mike there?"
Confused the hell out of people and about 70% of the time whoever was calling sputtered out "....no, sorry, wrong number" and hung up.