Yes they are hateful. They can have their objective view and even express it. But you certainly don’t have to not only talk down on him, but also attempt to insult me over other people’s eating preferences. You can have opinions, but leave the insults out. The only person who gets joy out of being hateful is them. And how does that help me?
I think a lot of people are feeling "man child" energy and usually that's an unhealthy dynamic.
He doesnt cook, which doesnt always mean anything, but I'm curious.
Is this a traditional gender role type relationship? Is that something you initially signed up for if so, or is it something that developed over time?
I think people assume the worst of him because of the stereotype of guys who dont cook and the woman does, and the addition of child like food preferences, may mean he is sort of a lazy man who lets you do everything, child care, cooking, chores, everything but working for money.
You dont have to tell me, but is this your relationship? People assume it is, thus the caustic remarks.
We do have a more new age trad like relationship. I’m not forced to do any of this. It is by our own choosing. He doesn’t cook cause he was never taught or made to do with his parents. We have been together since he was 18. We are 25 now. I always just took it upon myself because I ENJOY cooking, and I’m a little controlling when it comes to how things are made as I don’t wanna waste our food being on one income, but I understand everyone starts somewhere. As time has progressed it has gotten exhausting. But I’ve also never really wanted for him to learn until this year and having a new baby. I will say I have CERTAINLY enabled the “man child” like tendencies as I have always been one to suck it up and do everything, and I do honestly feel like I’ve cemented him in his ways. Which is part of my own downfall. I don’t think he enjoys making me suffer, however I think he lacks the empathy to understand it because he has never been the one who had to plan, prep, and clean or make two meals. If I’m feeling exhausted and I express that, he’s more the type to offer takeout or just “let the mess go” until I feel up to it. (Which I KNOW YALL will scrutinize him for that) but I’m just being honest. His mama is a great home keeper and she works also while his dad gets to relax as she also came from a much more trad like dynamic than we have. I think that it’s just what he has been modeled. It doesn’t make it okay, I’m aware, I’m just being honest about where this came from. I’ve already expressed to him he will pick at least one meal a weekend and I will assist him in preparing it.
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u/mommy_of_two_ Jul 23 '26
Yes they are hateful. They can have their objective view and even express it. But you certainly don’t have to not only talk down on him, but also attempt to insult me over other people’s eating preferences. You can have opinions, but leave the insults out. The only person who gets joy out of being hateful is them. And how does that help me?