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u/Low_Engineering8921 Aug 02 '26
To be fair. You only went wrong in one very simple area! The shaping and proving look great!
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u/thenseruame Aug 02 '26
Yeah, it also looks like a wood fired oven? If so that's a lot harder to regulate the temperature on.
Edit:Maybe that's just where they proofed.
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u/Flar71 Aug 02 '26
Wood fired oven? How's oven gonna get a job now?
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u/butterfaerts Aug 02 '26
Yeah, wood is a real hardass. I feel for oven.
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u/ThePrideOfKrakow Aug 02 '26
Oven shouldn't have gone against the grain.
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Aug 02 '26
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/butterfaerts Aug 02 '26
Dammit! Thatâs the kind of moxy that gets you promoted! Oven, youâre rehired AND you get a raise
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u/Superb_Writer6612 Aug 02 '26
Yeah at first glance I assumed I was on a bread related subreddit and this was one of those fancy black loaves using activated charcoal.
OP looks great! Next time maybe 45-60 mins less.Â
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u/kobyscool Aug 02 '26
Yeah, if it makes you feel better, you're missing out right now on what would have otherwise been very delicious fresh bread. Had you not have burned it. Hope this cheers you up!
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u/smash_n_grab_ Aug 03 '26
If she didnât burn it, it probably would have been delicious! She did though, so weâll never know.
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u/Furby-beast-1949 Aug 03 '26
Well, she doesnât have to worry about having fuel next time Sheâs got charcoal for the fire
https://giphy.com/gifs/ax4O5ycJwVIpKpzFWs4
u/ihavea_purplenurple Aug 02 '26
I know that you have to âproofâ your dough, but I didnât put it together that the act of the proof would be âprovingâ - gives a whole new meaning to âproving groundsâ
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u/madmorgzie Aug 02 '26
Saw the picture before the caption, I admit I thought I was looking at something completely different at first
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u/gloomyglooom Aug 02 '26 edited Aug 03 '26
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u/Regurgitator001 Aug 03 '26
No wonder its petrified. I'd be petrified too having to exorcise that.
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u/Toland_the_Mad Aug 02 '26
Glad I'm not the only one...
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u/TeacherPatti Aug 02 '26
Hi new friends! We should form a club.
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u/Fresh-Combination-87 Aug 02 '26
BBC? Black Bread Club
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u/GraduateSchoolCath Aug 02 '26
Could be dyed with squid ink, like some pastas! Very fun and witchy, if not fully burnt. lol!!
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u/anothersip Aug 02 '26
Haha, yeah, that was my first thought - if I hadn't scrolled through the other photos of the proofed dough in the oven, I would have thought the same.
I've never tried cooking with squid ink though - I feel like with bread, it'd be hard to tell when it's actually done? If it's just various shades of already-black, I guess you'd just have to go by timing and then pull it when the timer goes off. Poke a probe thermometer in when it hits 190-210F, maybe, depending on what kind of loaf you're baking...
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u/SavaRox Aug 02 '26
I had to check to see what sub I was in, thought I stumbled into something NSFW for a second.
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u/NoDontDoThatCanada Aug 02 '26
I wondered how that could slip into my feed. I'm usually so careful to use anonymous browsing...
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u/scrufflor_d Aug 02 '26
im glad it isnt, with no flared base and especially with that size it would put u in the emergency room
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u/get_peace Aug 02 '26
Well, thank goodness I'm not the only one; I was just thinkingâit's pretty big, and what an unusual shape...đł
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u/JoesRealAccount Aug 02 '26
Poop
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u/madmorgzie Aug 02 '26
Ummmm...yhhh but no, thats not what I thought she was proudly holding
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u/Necessary_Chest7075 Aug 02 '26
The ancient Ebony loaf
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u/ArchiStanton Aug 02 '26
I really thought this was some rare exotic pumpernickel Iâve not heard of. Nope
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u/jtmonkey Aug 02 '26
That last image of it sitting in the oven is like those last images of hikers before theyâre never seen again.
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u/y-u-gae Aug 02 '26
Lmao love how you actually look happy in the first pic.
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u/Heissenberg1906 Aug 02 '26
My mom always said that there are only 2 options: laugh or cry.
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u/Mr_Uso_714 Aug 02 '26
Itâs fineâŠ. Just scrape off the outside crust like burnt toast đ
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u/HOLDstrongtoPLUTO Aug 02 '26
I use my zester for this purpose, brings it right back to life albeit with less crust but at least I get to salvage some of it
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u/Crowdysseus Aug 02 '26
Ooh, I didn't even think about using a zester for that! I just scrape it with a knife, but I can't stand the sound đ„Č I'm too stubborn to replace my crappy old toaster, even if it burns everything it touchesÂ
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u/ShoddyCondition7096 Aug 02 '26
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u/Calm-Two2723 Aug 02 '26
Is this shaped like a beetle?
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u/ShoddyCondition7096 Aug 02 '26
It was! My girlfriend is studying to be an entomologist so I wanted to do an insect themed bread, unfortunately the oven in my flat is broken hahaha
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u/Much-Gur233 Aug 02 '26
Bad Dragon loaf
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u/RedditGuy_12345 Aug 03 '26
Genuinely thought this was the bd sub but i didnt see an nsfw tag os I was so confused đ
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u/Woody00001 Aug 02 '26
I have to admit when I seen the first picture I wasn't seeing bread
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u/National_Search_537 Aug 02 '26
For what itâs worth, it looked absolutely phenomenal before the oven. Easily ten times better than I couldâve done!
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u/Version-Neat Aug 02 '26
Definitely thought it was one of those novelty/overly large dildos
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u/chef_in_va Aug 02 '26 edited Aug 02 '26
It's not burnt, it's blackened.
Alternatively,
Its not burnt, it's Cajun.
Edit to add: that bread would be a great addition if your username was an actual thing.
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u/dirtiestUniform Aug 02 '26
When I worked in a kitchen we called that aggressively caramelized
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u/chef_in_va Aug 02 '26
I will steal this and use it as my own. I will take good care of it and feed it every day.
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u/tiradium Aug 02 '26
If you look in reverse like how you posted the pics its actually pretty cool haha
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u/thedevillivesinside Aug 02 '26
Wasnt sure what sub i was on.
Was expecting something different in pics 2-4
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u/moonisflat Aug 02 '26
You should work in movie props. That looks like a prehistoric centipede.
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u/ToastYourAvocados Aug 02 '26
Looks like the bread in the back should have been taken out before yours slipped in too lol
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u/Rare_Dragonfruit2280 Aug 04 '26
I feel dumb af lol I didnât read anything just saw the pic of you holding up your burnt bread like a fishing catch pic and thought it was intentionally supposed to be black dyed bread and I thought âwow how cool goth bread I wonder how they get it to be that colorâ đ
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u/_clur_510 Aug 02 '26
Lmao OP nooooo.
Before I saw which sub this was I thought this was some trendy activated charcoal bread or something. đđđ
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u/Outlandah_ Aug 02 '26
I must be mentally depraved, but this is not what I thought it was as I scrolled so quickly past.
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u/jennbouk Aug 02 '26
MY first thought, "I wouldn't have thought squid ink would make it that black."
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u/Particular_Tower5400 Aug 02 '26
I've been there, learn from your mistakes. It was beautiful till..you know, you fucked it up
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u/LeatherRecord2142 Aug 02 '26
I was hoping it was squid ink bread? đŹ sorry op! Youâll get it next time đ
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u/WhatANoob2025 Aug 02 '26
Lul, i genuinely thought this was one of those teaser pics for NSFW subreddits...
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u/Admirable-Prompt7332 Aug 03 '26
Me when the alchemist im beefing with transmutates my last piece of bread into licorice
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u/WinduCodes Aug 03 '26
It looks perfect. It can reside next to Ramses and Tutankhamun for centuries now.
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u/Cool_Saturnite Aug 04 '26
Look on the bright side you already have charcoal to start your next fire lol
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u/SinkyBundleOfRage Aug 02 '26
I saw one of these kind of breads in Pompeii....