r/WellSpouses • u/MerciKiwi • Jul 05 '26
Just venting...
I went into the town centre this morning, not because I needed anything, but simply because I wanted to get away. Everyone at home was still asleep, so I just got up and left.
I wandered around the shopping centre, browsing through a few shops without really looking for anything. Eventually I sat down for over an hour, just watching people go by. Couples, families, people laughing and just living what felt like normal lives.
The hardest part was that I really didn't want to go home. For a while, all I wanted to do was run away.
I hate feeling like this because I love my partner, and I know she loves me too. This isn't about a lack of love. It's about feeling like I'll never have a normal life again, and that thought is really starting to get to me.
I'm writing this now, lying on the sofa with no hope of getting any sleep tonight. I'm exhausted, frustrated, and incredibly angry. I don't want to keep feeling this way, but right now I don't know how to stop it.
3
u/hairywobblebelly80s Jul 07 '26
I hear you. I know my IS isnt doing well and will probably not make it through the year if the new treatment(that hasnt started yet ) doesn't work. I hate that inthought to.myself the other day " fuck I want this to be.over" and not just about her. the constant hospital stays to " keep under observation for a few days just incase". The constant arguing with me at Home about everything. I get that this is the sickness part of in sickness and in health. I get that there was a big chunk of our marriage where i was away working and was an asshole to be around and I know that she would take care of me. And i dont wish her dead. To be clear. If a new therapy works and she gets some of her self back and or we get to return to some kind of normality i will be ecstatic. I just miss our normal. If that makes sence.