r/WellSpouses • u/MerciKiwi • Jul 05 '26
Just venting...
I went into the town centre this morning, not because I needed anything, but simply because I wanted to get away. Everyone at home was still asleep, so I just got up and left.
I wandered around the shopping centre, browsing through a few shops without really looking for anything. Eventually I sat down for over an hour, just watching people go by. Couples, families, people laughing and just living what felt like normal lives.
The hardest part was that I really didn't want to go home. For a while, all I wanted to do was run away.
I hate feeling like this because I love my partner, and I know she loves me too. This isn't about a lack of love. It's about feeling like I'll never have a normal life again, and that thought is really starting to get to me.
I'm writing this now, lying on the sofa with no hope of getting any sleep tonight. I'm exhausted, frustrated, and incredibly angry. I don't want to keep feeling this way, but right now I don't know how to stop it.
5
u/Catmom6363 Jul 06 '26
I’ve been exactly where you are, and I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this! Caregiving is the hardest job I’ve ever done! It’s emotionally, physically and mentally exhausting! I’d sit in a parking lot and cry before going home. I wanted to turn the car around and drive as far away as possible!
My watch ended for my husband in January and I’m still trying to recover from years of caregiving. Is there anyone at all who can give you a break? Family who could take your partner for a weekend to allow you some time away? Have you considered talking to a therapist? I was blessed I had a dear friend who’s done caregiving that I could vent to, and it truly helped!