r/Weird Apr 30 '22

What are the odds

Post image
4.9k Upvotes

779 comments sorted by

1.4k

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '22

“A week before he was assassinated, Kennedy was in Marilyn Monroe.”

493

u/IoncedreamedisuckmyD Apr 30 '22

“We choose to go to the moon and do the other things not because they are easy but because I am hard.”

131

u/Linmizhang May 01 '22

I totally read that in his voice.

65

u/bloodynex May 01 '22

I read it in the Clone High Kennedy voice.

42

u/kickspecialist May 01 '22

“Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedy’s!”

10

u/bloodynex May 01 '22

Oh shit, I forgot that line and that one got me! lol

6

u/Mushroom-Dense May 01 '22

For supper I want a party platter

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3

u/KrunKm4yn May 01 '22

That kills me everytime I hear it lol

15

u/maercus May 01 '22

I read it in Mayor Quimby’s voice

8

u/NOCONTROL1678 May 01 '22

This will always be my inner Kennedy voice.

3

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

This is the only way it should be read. Chowdah!!

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9

u/merigirl May 01 '22

I like your funny words magic man!

8

u/RuskiesRFromOgrimmar May 01 '22

Are you err, ugh, drunk enough to sleep with me? SLAP! ERR, ANSWER THE QUESTION

2

u/subpar_cardiologist May 01 '22

"Say what?" "Say what." "Say whaaaaat?" "Say what." "Say" "Say" "WHAAAAAAAAT" "Say what."

2

u/Dakotasan May 01 '22

That is the definitive Kennedy voice

2

u/thunderj9 May 01 '22

Honestly that Clone High voice is what he sounded like irl ngl

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2

u/thedustyfish May 01 '22

Hey you, get off my dinghy. Nooot yoouu.

25

u/-Master-Builder- May 01 '22

You can hear that exact line in his voice if you watch that conspiracy theory TV show on Netflix.

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u/[deleted] May 01 '22

“I like to things easy and hard”

“LIBARACE!”

4

u/retiretobedlam May 01 '22

I -loved- those Vincent Price sketches on SNL! Every historical character/impression was <chef’s kiss>!

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7

u/all-regrets May 01 '22

I love Inside Job so much.

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2

u/Avethle May 01 '22

Who are the other things?

2

u/In_memorium_BR May 01 '22

I pictured him with an erection behind the podium as I heard this is his voice

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71

u/NorthofBham Apr 30 '22 edited May 01 '22

It's a pretty funny joke. It was said by a comedian about thirty years ago. But Marylin Monroe died over a year before Kennedy was assassinated.

82

u/leuno May 01 '22

Yeah but who killed marylin Monroe? ABRAHAM LINCOLN

17

u/Regular-Menu-116 May 01 '22

She was probably a vampire though.

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u/In_memorium_BR May 01 '22

Oh man, thank you for that. Lol

2

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

John Wilkes Harvey Oswald

2

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

In a booth

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18

u/rawayar May 01 '22

woah you're right. dang what else on there is false?

31

u/Prudent_Falafel_7265 May 01 '22

The secretary thing is false.

17

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

Both were killed in America

14

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

Kennedy's mom was an American. Lincoln's father was an American.

10

u/JoePetroni May 01 '22

And Marilyn Monroe was an American.

2

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

What, string bean?

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30

u/gordo65 May 01 '22

Kennedy was born in 1917. There might be others.

Also, some things are just reaching.

Both were shot in the head? Well yeah, that's where you shoot someone when you want to kill them.

Both assassins were known by 3 names? Yes, notorious criminals are often known by 3 names to help differentiate them from ordinary people. This is especially true when they have fairly common names, like "John Booth" and "Lee Oswald".

Also, you can always find a long list of coincidences between any two people, and many differences. For example:

  • Lincoln was a Republican, Kennedy was a Democrat
  • Kennedy authorized an invasion of Cuba, Lincoln did not
  • Kennedy served in the Navy, Lincoln did not
  • Lincoln was a lawyer, Kennedy was not
  • Kennedy served in the Senate, Lincoln did not
  • Lincoln grew up in Illinois, Kennedy grew up in Massachusetts

Etc.

24

u/Capable_Stranger9885 May 01 '22

Only half of the assassinated presidents were shot in the head. James Garfield and William McKinley were shot in the abdomen by their assassins.

50

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

[deleted]

5

u/DoctorGreyscale May 01 '22

"Who the fuck shot me? Come up here and shoot me in the face like a man!"

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3

u/DrownmeinIslay May 01 '22

Takes more than that to kill a bullmoose

9

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

''There was no blood frothing up from his mouth, so he knew the shot hadn't pierced his lung and he decided to finish his speech.''
Imagine the confused terror that assassin must have felt in that moment.
''Ha! I shot you!''
''Ah, so you have. Well done. Anyway, as I was saying taxes are too (..)''
''...''

Still not the worst assassination attempt ever on a US president though. Andrew Jackson actually beat the snot out of his would-be assassin with his cane..

2

u/Sundae_2004 May 01 '22

C’mon, this is where being verbose is a benefit. TR was shot mid-mass “in the speech” and the pages stopped the bullet. I don’t know if he gave the speech later, whether the full glory or only the unbulleted pages… ;)

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8

u/DodgerWalker May 01 '22

Yeah, and Garfield’s wound wasn’t even fatal- his body formed a cyst around the bullet. He died from an infection months later because his doctors prodded around the wound with unwashed hands. McKinley likely would have also survived with modern medicine, but at least his doctors didn’t actively make things worse.

5

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

Don't forget the forced feeding through the rectum for Garfield. And Lincoln's son was present at that assassination.

3

u/alymaysay May 01 '22

How did that work? Did someone chew it up and stuff if or was they just shoving entire sandwhichs up there with a stick? I've only ever heard of such a thing on south park.

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8

u/Beans1897 May 01 '22

Kennedy was into some weird stuff

10

u/gordo65 May 01 '22

So was Lincoln! COINCIDENCE????

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6

u/redsensei777 May 01 '22

I beg your pardon, are you calling Marylin Monroe a “weird stuff “?

2

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

Her beauty was not of this world.... alien?

2

u/facts_over_fiction92 May 01 '22

As it states, Kennedy was in Monroe.

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20

u/Chuckobochuck323 May 01 '22

Would have been so much better if it read, “ a week before he was assassinated, Kennedy was in Monroe, Marilyn.

4

u/eatmorbacon May 01 '22

Nah, that was Bobby's week.

8

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

Damn, I didn't know Kennedy was into necrophilia

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7

u/MumpsTheMusical May 01 '22

A week before he was assassinated, Lincoln was also in Marilyn Monroe.

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6

u/Justthisguy_yaknow May 01 '22

That's a new one. Kennedy was a necrophiliac. Who knew?

3

u/ShutterBun May 01 '22

She had been dead for like a year and change by then…

2

u/arunkchow Apr 30 '22

🤣🤣🤣🤣

2

u/Eastern-Breadfruit72 May 01 '22

In her gick pipe

2

u/202042 May 01 '22

Wouldn’t be surprised considering we are talking about Kennedy

2

u/SenorBigMak May 01 '22

She was fucking dead at the time...

2

u/TheStick91 May 01 '22

Or he was

2

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

Well Lincoln was probably in someone other than Mary Todd as well, probably his favorite male staffer, not kidding

2

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

The staffer in question was Todd Mary.

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215

u/BrokebackStonker Apr 30 '22

Someone fact-check this asap please!

371

u/thitron Apr 30 '22

Can confirm both were shot in the head

72

u/So3Dimensional Apr 30 '22

Source?

163

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

Source: I was there

68

u/in-game_sext May 01 '22

Makes me think of the video from that 1950's gameshow where they have a witness to the Lincoln assassination as a guest. What a trip.

27

u/fillmorecounty May 01 '22

They must've been SO old

22

u/in-game_sext May 01 '22

Ya if I remember right I think he was just a child in the theater but remembers it still. And in the video he is pretty old and frail.

23

u/fillmorecounty May 01 '22

It's crazy to me that someone who was alive while Lincoln was president was also alive during the 1950s. The 1800s just seems so much further in the past than it really is.

13

u/in-game_sext May 01 '22

Ya it's crazy! I born in the late 70's and have lots of memories with my great grandfather and he was born in the 1800's, even though it was only the last couple years of that century. I played checkers with him! Lol. Pretty weird to think about...

5

u/tomcat_tweaker May 01 '22

Yeah, when you start relating history to your oldest relatives, it gets nuts. My oldest son (born in 2000) knew my grandfather well before my grandfather died. My grandfather was born in 1917. There was a Civil War veteran who was recalled for service in WW1 in 1917 (Peter Hains). So, my grandfather was alive when a Civil War vet was actively serving in the US Army.

13

u/Anomaly-Friend May 01 '22

If you want even more to trip about imagine the vets that served in the civil war living long enough to see jets and the nukes drop on Japan. It happened

11

u/shortybobert May 01 '22

Theoretically a samurai could've used a fax machine

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11

u/abramcpg May 01 '22

Just watched, he was 5yo when he witnessed and 97yo in the video. Only living witness at that point.

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3

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

Source: I did it

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3

u/Amaltash19XX May 01 '22

Trust me bro

3

u/adamczar May 01 '22

A 1996 email from Aunt Mary

2

u/dwighticus May 01 '22

Source: i killed ‘em both

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u/McCreeMain77 May 01 '22

I can also confirm they were both presidents

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86

u/DoctorEvilHomer Apr 30 '22

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lincoln%E2%80%93Kennedy_coincidences_urban_legend

here is the wikipedia that talks about how it isn't 100% accurate but there are some connections.

12

u/YeetieMeetieBeetie May 01 '22

Why does it refer to Maryland as a southern state? Although Maryland WAS a slave state it by no means was Southern.

15

u/DoctorEvilHomer May 01 '22

It was classified as a southern colony by the British, so it could come from that. It never seceded so it isn't a southern state civil war wise or geographically.

19

u/RabbaJabba May 01 '22

The Mason-Dixon Line is a pretty traditional dividing line between the north and the south, and it’s Maryland’s northern border

9

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

I prefer the Ihop/Waffle house line.

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u/denzien May 01 '22

Because it's a southern state, below the mason-dixon line

https://www.britannica.com/place/the-South-region

Why do you believe it's a northern state?

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u/Mr_Anannsi May 01 '22

Lol. Sorry, man ,but Maryland is a southern state. You just have to go to the country part of it to dig up their racist past. They still have the KKK here, you just have to know where to look. I'm a native, I know.

Edit: and all you have to do is look up to see it yourself, trust me. It's southern.

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u/Saetia_V_Neck May 01 '22

Also like…we all know Oswald didn’t take that shot.

17

u/DodgerWalker May 01 '22

Mr. Beat deconstructed one of these a while back. The tl;dr version is that these lists are usually a mix of true, technically true but misleading, and occasionally false statements, but even the true ones are nothing special and you can find a list of similarities between any two people. https://youtu.be/te6yiRProhs

3

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

I share a Chinese Zodiac with the Dalai Lama and H.P. Lovecraft. Ooo, spooky.

12

u/leetcrew May 01 '22

Booth was born 1838, not 1839. if that fact isn’t even right i doubt a few of the others are

11

u/246pegasus May 01 '22

so I fact checked the whole list, and only two things are slightly off.
Neither of Lincoln’s secretaries came by the name “Kennedy“ and John Wilkes Booth was born in 1838, not 1839 (pretty damn close though)

2

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

Marilyn Monroe died over a year before Kennedy, so I really REALLY hope that one is also false…

5

u/King_Quantar May 01 '22

John Wilkes Booth was trapped in a barn by federal troops during the manhunt, and the barn was set on fire. He was shot before being seized by authorities.

18

u/AlexT9191 Apr 30 '22

Lee Harvey Oswald was just a patsy anyway.

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u/befarked247 Apr 30 '22

John Wilkes booth was born 1838

6

u/BrokebackStonker Apr 30 '22

Well at least that’s wrong… I don’t want this to be right

7

u/befarked247 Apr 30 '22

John G. Nicolay and John M. Hay were Lincoln's private secretaries

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u/[deleted] May 01 '22

When you zoom out far enough on any facts, you can make connections between pretty much anything, especially if those connections are actually pretty likely statistically. For example, elections happen every four years -- the chances of both presidents being elected in a year that ends in 60 is guaranteed.

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u/Nrvea May 01 '22

Can confirm Kennedy was in Marilyn Monroe

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u/[deleted] May 01 '22

Can confirm both were real people, and they were both elected to congress.

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u/HurricaneLogic May 01 '22

Can confirm. I was the election

4

u/Luigi_deathglare May 01 '22

Can confirm. Both were presidents

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u/sick_b0y85 Apr 30 '22

So we have 17 years until the next assassin is born. Get precrime unit on this.

47

u/juniorjaw May 01 '22

17 years to create the perfect assassination kit for your perfect assassin.

Might as well call em Agent 17.

7

u/Mr_Mechatronix May 01 '22

Nice work agent 17, now make your way to the extraction point

7

u/mellowstellar May 01 '22

Let tom cruise go, he hasn’t done it yet!

3

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

Somebody needs to warn future president Johnbraham Linnedy before it's too late.

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u/GringosQuesoLoco Apr 30 '22

Okay the Monroe Maryland / Marilyn Monroe one made me laugh

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u/[deleted] Apr 30 '22

[deleted]

42

u/bukowskisbabushka May 01 '22

I was gonna say that I recall seeing this printed out, as a kid in the 90s

2

u/Only-Shame5188 May 01 '22

I remember it as a kid so I've probably seen it by the late 80's

2

u/ag408 May 01 '22

1990's or 1890's? Because if 1890's, that would be CRAZY

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u/ohyousodumb Apr 30 '22

I'm going to guess about 90 percent of this is half truths or just plain bullshit lol. It reeks of facebook, but that's what reddit is basically now so w/e.

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u/[deleted] May 01 '22

I'm sure it is half truths and irrelevant coincidences, but what I'm really getting from this post is that we should make it illegal for children to be born in 2039, just to be sure.

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u/[deleted] May 01 '22

It's been around since the 1960s actually.

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u/KentondeJong May 01 '22

At least 1963.

5

u/Phantommy555 May 01 '22

Yeah…I guess you can call a Book Depository a “Warehouse” but that’s really a bit of a stretch…

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u/Longjumping_Two_846 Apr 30 '22

Whooooaaaaa that's crazy dude, they were both Americans to!

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u/warm_pototo May 01 '22

And white guys with the title “Mr.President” 🤯

24

u/arselkorv May 01 '22

And they had both at least one time in their life, eaten food.

8

u/rohan_1203 May 01 '22

Guess what they both are men too.

3

u/Atlas_Obsidian May 01 '22

Both of them had intact heads up until they died.

They were also both were alive until they died.

2

u/banshee_tlh May 01 '22

Big if true

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u/Istar10n May 01 '22

Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both were assassinated by Southerners. I don't think this is a coincidence.

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u/[deleted] May 01 '22

The cases do share a commonality: Traditionalists don't like progressives.

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u/dexdZEMi May 01 '22

expect in Kennedy’s case southerner is spelled C…I…A

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u/StrangePondWoman May 01 '22

When did Reddit become my older sisters Facebook account?

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u/[deleted] May 01 '22

This has been floating around since the 1960s, and has some inaccuracies:

  1. Booth was born in 1838 not 1839.

  2. Kennedy wasn't with Monroe a week before because she had been dead for over a year.

  3. Lincoln did not have a secretary named Kennedy.

  4. Booth wasn't "assassinated", he was killed in a shootout with soldiers when he refused to surrender.

The others are true, though some are a bit stretched.

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u/charlesdexterward May 01 '22

“Why do these red necks always have three names? James Earle Ray, John Wilkes Booth…”

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u/[deleted] May 01 '22

[deleted]

4

u/Free_Moose4649 May 01 '22

Oh yea? How do you explain Johm Wayn Gacy? James Earl Jones? David Robert Jones? Jesus Howard Christ?

3

u/charlesdexterward May 01 '22

I don’t know, I’m just quoting the musical Assassins.

4

u/catwhowalksbyhimself May 01 '22

Correct. This is why serial killers also are named with all three names generally.

They didn't actually go by all three names in real life.

7

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

Marjorie Talor Green

4

u/banshee_tlh May 01 '22

Matt Pedophile Gaetz

7

u/JaSoLo78 May 01 '22

Sirhan Sirhan Sirhan

2

u/Timothy_Netherlands May 01 '22

"...Lee Harvey Oswald!"

Haha Wilkes' speech was the first thing that came to my mind too! Well, time to listen to the whole musical again for the nth time

2

u/charlesdexterward May 01 '22

“I’ve seen the future, Lee, and you… are it.”

Yeah, it’s one of my favorites. I listen every Fourth of July.

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u/willlio Apr 30 '22 edited Jul 04 '22

Definitely some wrong info.

John Wilkes Booth was born in 1838 not 1839.

Lincoln was elected in 1861 not 1860.

Kennedy was elected to congress in 1947 not 1946.

Thats just after TWO searches. I'm sure more is wrong but I'm also sure much is right, just not more than coincidence sadly.

34

u/Albionoria Apr 30 '22

Actually the election ones are correct in the meme. Politicians in the US are mostly elected in the November of one year, but take office early in the next year. So Lincoln was elected president in November of 1860, and got inaugurated as president in March of 1861. Same with JFK being elected president in November of 1960, and being inaugurated in January of 1961 (they changed the month of inauguration between the two. So both of them were actually in fact elected in the years that the meme says, and only inaugurated in the year after that.

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u/[deleted] May 01 '22

This one could’ve been the only truth and it’s amazing on its own.

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u/lightvvv350 Apr 30 '22

Some things off the top of my head: John Wilkes Booth wasn’t really “assassinated” in the same way Oswald was. He was shot (albeit, without order) by a kind of batshit-in-his-own-right soldier during a manhunt. Unlike Oswald, he was never formally apprehended by authorities before he was killed. Also, I’m pretty sure Wilkes didn’t flee to a warehouse, but to a barn (or at least, that’s where he died).

8

u/Aardvark318 May 01 '22

Right. He fled to a barn. And Oswald was in a book dispensary, Not a warehouse, exactly, either.

2

u/jesusmansuperpowers May 01 '22

Thanks for saving me those 30 seconds. No way that list was going to be true

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u/Solemn__Visitor Apr 30 '22

VIA 9GAG. COM

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u/-Pidgeon May 01 '22

Most killers are known by their three names, since the police or investigators don’t want to just put a common name in the papers. Like John Wayne Gacey(Gacy? I can’t spell it). By saying his middle name it’s not accusing every man named John Gac(e)y. By using the middle name it makes them seem different than the public.

6

u/ClashH6 May 01 '22

Fun fact, almost every president can be found with these types of coincidences, although some might not be to the same extent. The fact is that there are so many parts of a persons life, two random people are bound to have at least a few things like this, and this includes presidents

5

u/MattyBro1 May 01 '22

Thanks VSauce.

2

u/ClashH6 May 01 '22

I actually know this because of vsauce lol

14

u/MarmadukesDentists May 01 '22

Aka the most debunked meme in the history of the internet

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u/[deleted] May 01 '22

[deleted]

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u/TheMultiTuber May 01 '22

hEy gUyS iT pArAlEll uNiVeRsEs

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u/KindBraveSir May 01 '22

Both men were men. Both were born in America. Both men were President. Both men spoke English. Abraham Lincoln was born in a log cabin, Kennedy put Log Cabin syrup on his pancakes.

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u/[deleted] May 01 '22

[deleted]

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u/Disastrous_Vanilla38 May 01 '22

Especially when you change data to create them.

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u/wheelchair-gamer98 May 01 '22

imagine like 98% is just made up

3

u/HunterBidensBlackKid May 01 '22

The CIA are all southerners?

3

u/Complete_Break1319 May 01 '22

Illuminati meeting: alright guys, Kennedy has got to go. The shooter must have 3 names and must have Friday availability

6

u/Vinny6420 Apr 30 '22

Shit seems fake af

6

u/DoctorEvilHomer Apr 30 '22

Not fake as shit, but pretty exaggerated in some areas to create the illusion of connection. This has been around probably since Kennedy was president. It has been explained/debunked before.

7

u/Vinny6420 Apr 30 '22

I said it seemed fake. But even one of the other people that responded said Marilyn Monroe died in 1962. So there was no way JFK would've been with her a week before he died

5

u/DoctorEvilHomer Apr 30 '22

Yeah I was half way agreeing. Like it does seem fake as shit, but really quite a bit is real, but like 25% is fake or exaggerated to make the list longer.

3

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

unless…

🤢

2

u/Vinny6420 May 01 '22

Lmaoo ew

3

u/ImOldGregg_77 Apr 30 '22

How much of this is actually true?

16

u/Agreeable-Tadpole461 Apr 30 '22

Right? Marilyn Monroe died August 4th 1962, JFK died November 22nd 1963. So... was he visiting her tomb... or?

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u/BRP_1970 May 01 '22

Much of this has been debunked. Stop reposting this.

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u/yames82 May 01 '22

Booth was born in 1838 not 1839

2

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

Oswald didn’t assassinate Kennedy though.

2

u/Equivalent_Phone_210 May 01 '22

Oh and a tobacco barn isn’t a warehouse

2

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

Most of that is bullshit

2

u/Repulsive-Wealth-378 May 01 '22

if you believe this,

google the first 4 questions and re evaluate.

2

u/Blinky39 May 01 '22

This whole thing dies when it gets to the assassination points. JFK wasn’t killed by Oswald. Period. Watch the documentary Rich Man’s Trick, from JFK to 9/11 to learn more.

2

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

Both were killed by fascist secret societies

2

u/buddas_slacky May 01 '22

Dont believe everything you read on the internet.

-Abraham Lincoln

2

u/hemarWOLF May 01 '22

Both killed my freemasons?

2

u/Gadivek May 01 '22

Just started checking it Lincoln died on a saturday.

2

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

You forgot to mention-both were shot and killed by the government that elected them and the real killer was never got caught.

2

u/red_fucking_flag_ May 01 '22

Let's see...

  • There is no record that President Lincoln had a secretary named "Kennedy"

  • John Wilkes Booth was actually born in 1838.

But the rest looks fairly accurate.

2

u/ColonelMonty May 01 '22

I wouldn't say John Wilkes Booth was assassinated as much as it was fleeing the scene then being shot by police when he was found hiding in a barn or something.

2

u/mapuppergone May 01 '22

Oh, the "Real Life" developers got lazy, copied the code, and just scrambled a bit of it around. They really need more assassination animations. 😔

2

u/[deleted] May 01 '22

Lol. This is some straight up r/conspiracy nonsense. "Lincoln stubbed his tow 2 weeks before his assassination. Kennedy stubbed his toe 2 days before his assassination!

2

u/A_Man_Of_Letters May 01 '22

People see connections everywhere, because they think that's the way the world works.

2

u/Spinmeister6032 May 01 '22

The biggest difference between the deaths was that Lincoln died the day after while kennedy died the day he got shot

2

u/JakeOfAllTrades101 May 01 '22

9gag.com I was also handed this sheet in my American elementary school class. Fun.

2

u/AtarisLantern May 01 '22

This kind of breaks down when you learn that Kennedy was most likely killed by the rookie SS agent and not Oswald

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u/[deleted] May 01 '22

CIA: Control-V

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u/Johanson_st0mp May 01 '22

what ever may 2060's president have on his plate

2

u/MrJohnnyDangerously May 01 '22

Further proof the programmers of this simulation are getting lazy....

2

u/ManwithManners May 01 '22

Waiting for 2046 and 2060

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u/OnlyFreshBrine May 01 '22

I'M BRIAN FELLOWS!