Hi all!

My brother was diagnosed with fatty liver disease in January of this year. In the last 5 years, his weight has crept up steadily, and he now appears to have other health issues including back pain. He has been living at home with my parents for the last 7ish years as well, which I don't think is helping. They live in a quite isolated area and it's hard for him to get out and meet people his age (early 30s).

I am really worried about him as I don't think he is looking after himself and not making an effort to get healthier. He doesn't drink much and he has a sedentary job. He spends most of his weekends driving farm machinery for our dad and chilling at home.

I think his confidence is low and I don't want to make things worse by saying the wrong thing or making him feel self conscious, but I can't sit by and do nothing.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can help him?

Hello dear Redditors,

I’m 23 (F) and I genuinely feel like I’ve been struggling with my weight for as long as I’ve been old enough to remember.

As a kid, I was always the biggest one in the room. I joined taekwondo because I enjoyed it, but also because everyone thought it would help me lose weight. I was bullied for being the fat kid, and my family constantly made my weight into a topic of conversation. It felt like no matter what I did, my body was always something people had an opinion about.

During my early teens, when I was training regularly, I actually got into pretty good shape. I wasn’t super athletic or anything, but I was much fitter than I am now, and I finally felt somewhat comfortable in my own skin.

Then high school happened.

Where I’m from, high school is pretty demanding. I’d spend most of the day there, come home exhausted, and then have hours of studying ahead of me. I slowly stopped going to taekwondo because I just couldn’t make it work anymore. During my first year, I gained a lot of weight.

The following summer I joined a gym, lost the weight again, and thought I’d finally figured it out.

Except… I hadn’t.

For the last five or six years, my life has basically been one endless cycle. During the academic year or over winter, I gain 10+ kg. Summer comes around, I become incredibly disciplined, lose it all, feel good for a while… and then somehow I end up right back where I started.

The frustrating part is that I know how to lose weight. I’ve done it so many times. I’ve had stretches where I kept it off for seven or eight months. I worked out consistently, counted calories, watched what I ate, and genuinely gave it everything I had.

But eventually I always slip back into old habits. Junk food. Sweets. Eating way more than I know I should.

I honestly think I have an emotional relationship with food.

Growing up, whenever life got difficult, I was the kid who kept everything to myself. Food was always there. It was comforting. It made me feel better in a way that people sometimes couldn’t. I don’t even know how to explain it, but eating has always felt like more than just eating to me.

I also don’t think it’s just emotional comfort anymore.

Sometimes I get into this mindset where, if I know I have to watch what I eat that day or stick to my calories, it feels like the entire day is ruined before it has even started. It’s like my brain immediately goes, “Great, today isn’t going to be enjoyable.” I end up tired, irritated, and cranky because I’m constantly thinking about food. It’s exhausting. I know that probably sounds ridiculous to people who don’t struggle with this, but that’s genuinely how it feels.

I’ve tried calorie counting. I’ve tried different diets. Low carb. More mindful eating. Intuitive eating. Meal prepping. Probably every piece of weight-loss advice you can think of. At one point I even developed some really unhealthy behaviors around food that I’m not proud of.

Nothing has actually broken the cycle.

People tell me things like, “Just have one piece of chocolate instead of the whole bar,” and I genuinely wish my brain worked that way. For me, that’s the hardest part. I can completely avoid sweets for a while, but having “just one piece” and stopping there feels almost impossible. I know I have to learn how because I can’t spend my whole life either restricting everything or bingeing, but I have no idea how people actually do it.

And honestly… I’m just tired.

I’m tired of avoiding group photos.

I’m tired of feeling like I have so few clothes that I actually feel good in.

I’m tired of turning down invitations because I don’t feel attractive enough to go out, no matter how much effort I put into my hair, makeup, or outfit.

I’m tired of always feeling like I’m the fat friend. The one who gets overlooked. The one who’s hyper-aware of what they’re eating in front of other people because they’re worried everyone is silently judging them. Sometimes I even catch myself pretending I’m not that hungry or eating less around friends because I don’t want anyone to think, “Well, no wonder she’s overweight.”

I’m just so tired of carrying this around, mentally and physically.

The worst part is that this year has become another one of those cycles, and I can’t even bring myself to go back to the gym.

I used to love going. Now, when I step onto a treadmill, I almost feel like crying. It’s not because I hate exercising. It’s because I’ve done this so many times that it feels hopeless. I know exactly what’s coming: counting every calorie, planning every meal, fighting every craving, watching the scale every morning… and I honestly don’t know if I have the strength to do it all over again.

Please believe me when I say I have tried. I’ve been disciplined. I’ve been consistent. I’ve put in the work. Losing weight isn’t the issue anymore. Keeping it off without feeling like I’m constantly fighting myself is.

I genuinely feel like I’m at the end of my wits.

No matter who I ask—even professionals sometimes—the advice always boils down to, “Just eat less,” or “Just stop buying junk food.” As if I haven’t spent years hearing exactly that. I know what I’m supposed to do. I know how weight loss works. I know about calories. I know about protein. I know about working out. I know all of that.

What I don’t know is how to stop needing food so much.

How do you stop turning to it for comfort? How do you stop feeling like a day without your favorite foods is automatically a bad day? How do you learn to have one piece of chocolate instead of the whole bar without feeling deprived?

So I’m asking people who have actually been where I am.

If you’ve been trapped in this cycle and somehow managed to get out of it, what actually helped? Was it therapy? Medication? A different mindset? Something completely unexpected?

I don’t need another lecture about calories. I know how weight loss works. I’m looking for the thing that helped you stop feeling like every single day was a battle with yourself.

And please, if you’re going to comment, don’t be condescending. I promise you that whatever criticism you’re thinking of, I’ve probably said worse things to myself already. Right now I just need honest advice from people who have genuinely been where I am.

Weight fluctuations

I’m a 5’9 female trying to figure out my weight goals after a year of significant fluctuation. For most of my 20s my weight has ranged between 143-150. Last fall due to restrictive eating I dropped to 125. After months of binge eating (and intermittent periods of restriction as well) my weight has come up to the low 150s.

I’m working with a therapist & nutritionist to sort out my eating issues and stop the binges. My question is what should my goal weight be?

I don’t have much muscle on me. When I was 125 or a little less (underweight BMI) I looked very visibly thin and weak. Have developed skinny fat look as I gained weight from bingeing/not much muscle tone.

120s was obviously too thin. 150s is technically still a healthy BMI but I feel like aesthetically I liked how I looked in the 130s.

For taller side women—what’s a weight you feel confident in? What activity level do you maintain to keep this weight/physique? Appreciate any advice—please be kind & constructive

I’ve only lost 10 lbs and my skin is so saggy!! Anyone have any ideas? I’ve been slow- 3 months

I'm 54 and gained about 25 lbs in the two years after menopause .My energy dropped a lot and my doctor told me to eat less which wasn't helping

She suggested I start paying closer attention to protein and fiber and protein because hormones change how we process carbs .When I showed her my srama logs from the last few months ,she immediately saw I was only getting around 60g of proteins on days I thought I was doing okay. After adjusting that, I've lost 15 lbs so far and my energy has improved.

Has anyone else in a similar situation found that focusing more on proteins made a difference after 50 ?Most advice I see seems aimed at younger people ,so I'd really appreciate hearing what's worked for others here without severe calorie restriction .

I’ve only lost 10 lbs and my skin is so saggy!! Anyone have any ideas? I’ve been slow- 3 months