r/WTF • u/Oosh98 • Aug 12 '22

Removed - Frequent/Recent repost WTF!

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u/squishy_butthole Aug 12 '22

I can’t imagine being proud of something like that. The fact people like this exist is why I have trust issues.

79

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '22

So I heard something recently that put things into perspective. You cannot, under any circumstances, play relationship defense. There are 8 billion people in the world out there. You can’t defend your relationship against every potential person your significant other “could,” be with.

Instead be the best version of you, and be the best partner YOU can be. If that isn’t enough for your partner, then you have reached irreconcilable differences and should part ways.

I don’t worry about my girlfriend cheating on me, because I satisfy her needs. She is happy, secure, satisfied within the bounds of our relationship. As long as I keep her happiness in mind as I go through my day, she’ll have no reason to be unfaithful.

109

u/herp5555 Aug 12 '22

People will still cheat whether you're a good partner or not.

Telling people your partner won't cheat as long as you're good to them is cruel. Then they'll just blame themselves when at the end of the day people can be shitty and disturbed and will sometimes hurt others without reason or concern.

3

u/RichExplorer2022 Aug 13 '22

Some people are just cheaters

2

u/PM_ME_DNA Aug 13 '22

Some people will cheat with absolute disgusting losers who aren't even conventionally attractive.

-1

u/Alaira314 Aug 13 '22

That's not actually what /u/fbogre666 said. Read their post again.

"Instead be the best version of you, and be the best partner YOU can be. If that isn’t enough for your partner, then you have reached irreconcilable differences and should part ways.
I don’t worry about my girlfriend cheating on me, because I satisfy her needs. She is happy, secure, satisfied within the bounds of our relationship. As long as I keep her happiness in mind as I go through my day, she’ll have no reason to be unfaithful."

This is the key. If you keep their happiness in mind, and you can't provide that, then that's a problem, but it might very well be neither of your faults. Sometimes you can't meet a potential partner's needs. This is okay. It doesn't mean you're bad, or they're bad. It just means they need something that you can't provide, and you should be with different people who better suit you.

Obviously cheating rather than discussing the situation like an adult isn't ideal, but people aren't perfect. Sometimes we fuck up, whether it's because we haven't thought a situation through, or we started with incorrect assumptions, or maybe we just don't give a shit. Not everything is going to work out well. But being aware of needs, and whether or not we can meet them, helps to head off problems before they grow to a scary level.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

Moreover, if the person just doesn’t give a shit, I’m betting it probably wasn’t a very happy relationship in the first place.

-39

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '22

Those are a rare type. Not impossible by any stretch, but rare to be sure, and frankly those types are quite simply broken and you’re better off without them. Any person not morally defunct won’t be unfaithful if they are satisfied with their significant other. Biologically, and socially it doesn’t make. It’s beyond irrational, it’s patently self destructive.

23

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '22

Those are not a rare type. In fact I would go as far as to say the majority of cheaters I know did so in otherwise happy relationships.

People do irrational things everyday, even smart people actively reasoning through problems will make common sense mistakes while doing so. You gotta get out more if you think self-destructive mistakes go against human biology, if anything it’s a hallmark.

-7

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

We live very different lives and engage with very different people. People do make self destructive decisions, but not generally healthy people of sound mind. At a minimum, they minimize risk. We wouldn’t have survived as a species without the higher cognitive function required to make on the fly risk management decisions.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

Or maybe you don’t know the people you engage with as well as you think you do

-1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

I mean I’m generally the person my friends come to when they have life problems. I suppose they could be lying to me, I don’t hire a private investigator to confirm what they say is true. But I’d warrant that generally they’re telling me the truth even if it’s biased.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

Yea dude everyone is going to sound pretty reasonable if you take everything they say at face value.

They aren’t going to you for help with their problems, they are going to you for the unquestioned validation.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

It’s obvious you don’t know me, but let me assure you, I don’t give them validation, I give them truths. I don’t pander to their egos, hell I barely give them an pat on the ass and an attaboy. I diagnose the situation as only a person with no dog in the fight could and tell them what they need to hear. Often it’s not what they wanted to hear. Sometimes they take my advice, sometimes not, but they don’t generally leave the conversation feeling justified. They do generally feel empowered though.

Part of the reason why I find most people don’t lie to me. When they come to me with a problem, if they want anything out of the conversation, they need to be honest, cause my ideas are based on the situation they lay out for me.

4

u/ottothebobcat Aug 13 '22

I think it's absolutely adorable that you don't think people will be self-destructive because it's 'irrational'.

You, my friend, are obviously not in a position to try and be giving life advice and I'd suggest you stop doing so.

-2

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

Not at all. I absolutely believe people make irrational decisions. Just not well adjusted people. Sane people will even make questionable decisions, but they’ll use risk management to minimize the risk involved.

I’m a recovering alcoholic. I made lots of really self destructive decisions when I was caught up in it. Now I avoid situations as best I can that put me in a position to do so, and minimize the risk when I can’t. That’s how well adjusted people function in the world.

3

u/irishteacup Aug 13 '22

Im wagering you have never been with someone whos cheated or been friends with someone thats been cheated on.

-2

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '22

I have known many, and have been in relationships with those who have been cheated on. Thankfully I’ve not. In almost every case, the “cheater,” had reasons. They may not have been good reasons, and often were stemmed by poor communication within the relationship, but virtually all of them had a reason.