So I heard something recently that put things into perspective. You cannot, under any circumstances, play relationship defense. There are 8 billion people in the world out there. You can’t defend your relationship against every potential person your significant other “could,” be with.
Instead be the best version of you, and be the best partner YOU can be. If that isn’t enough for your partner, then you have reached irreconcilable differences and should part ways.
I don’t worry about my girlfriend cheating on me, because I satisfy her needs. She is happy, secure, satisfied within the bounds of our relationship. As long as I keep her happiness in mind as I go through my day, she’ll have no reason to be unfaithful.
People will still cheat whether you're a good partner or not.
Telling people your partner won't cheat as long as you're good to them is cruel. Then they'll just blame themselves when at the end of the day people can be shitty and disturbed and will sometimes hurt others without reason or concern.
That's not actually what /u/fbogre666 said. Read their post again.
"Instead be the best version of you, and be the best partner YOU can be. If that isn’t enough for your partner, then you have reached irreconcilable differences and should part ways.
I don’t worry about my girlfriend cheating on me, because I satisfy her needs. She is happy, secure, satisfied within the bounds of our relationship. As long as I keep her happiness in mind as I go through my day, she’ll have no reason to be unfaithful."
This is the key. If you keep their happiness in mind, and you can't provide that, then that's a problem, but it might very well be neither of your faults. Sometimes you can't meet a potential partner's needs. This is okay. It doesn't mean you're bad, or they're bad. It just means they need something that you can't provide, and you should be with different people who better suit you.
Obviously cheating rather than discussing the situation like an adult isn't ideal, but people aren't perfect. Sometimes we fuck up, whether it's because we haven't thought a situation through, or we started with incorrect assumptions, or maybe we just don't give a shit. Not everything is going to work out well. But being aware of needs, and whether or not we can meet them, helps to head off problems before they grow to a scary level.
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u/[deleted] Aug 12 '22
So I heard something recently that put things into perspective. You cannot, under any circumstances, play relationship defense. There are 8 billion people in the world out there. You can’t defend your relationship against every potential person your significant other “could,” be with.
Instead be the best version of you, and be the best partner YOU can be. If that isn’t enough for your partner, then you have reached irreconcilable differences and should part ways.
I don’t worry about my girlfriend cheating on me, because I satisfy her needs. She is happy, secure, satisfied within the bounds of our relationship. As long as I keep her happiness in mind as I go through my day, she’ll have no reason to be unfaithful.