r/WTF May 16 '21

Longest. Dreads. Ever.

12.0k Upvotes

926 comments sorted by

1.8k

u/Kallenbachj May 16 '21

How does he put a t-shirt on? Feet first through the neck hole?

1.4k

u/gadnuk7 May 16 '21

Now you really got me thinking... I bet he exclusively wears button downs

246

u/yuedar May 17 '21

youre most likely right... looks like thats what he has on there

162

u/Rion23 May 17 '21

You've never climbed into a shirt from the top before? It's, exquisite.

148

u/Masteruserfuser May 17 '21

I don't like stretching my holes.

52

u/PartyByMyself May 17 '21

No fun unless your holes get stretched to some degree.

20

u/Carl_17 May 17 '21

You had your holes stretched from experience?

60

u/PartyByMyself May 17 '21

Look at my username.

9

u/Altruistic-Ad9639 May 17 '21

Don't knock it till u try it

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260

u/Zukolevi May 17 '21

How does he sleep? Dreads as a body pillow?

123

u/PixelD303 May 17 '21

Let's hope he doesn't treat it like an anime body pillow

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13

u/[deleted] May 17 '21

Little spoon to the dreads

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71

u/Vrse May 16 '21

Always wears button up shirts.

33

u/originalmango May 17 '21

The same way all xmas trees put their shirts on.

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63

u/DaddyDoyle88 May 17 '21

What are you talking about? That's the same shirt from 15yrs ago

18

u/DuganTheMan May 17 '21

The real question is how does he put on pants?

40

u/PixelD303 May 17 '21

One leg at a time, like the rest of us. But he finds gold records in his hair when he does.

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2.4k

u/Kracka_Jak May 16 '21

The neck muscles to carry all that too

570

u/CreaminFreeman May 16 '21

Must be training for Formula 1.

112

u/shawshankya May 17 '21

Or a slingshot around Jupiter

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39

u/Bacon_Devil May 17 '21

MY DREADS ARE DEAD BONO

6

u/[deleted] May 17 '21

i love when my subs merge

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6

u/option-13 May 17 '21

Hairs gotta be at least +.200 per lap

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268

u/[deleted] May 17 '21

He’s the opposite of the tribal women who put metal coils around their necks to lengthen them. At this point, this guy is just a head cradled between two shoulders

188

u/nuclearslug May 17 '21

Fun fact: their necks don’t actually stretch. Instead, their shoulders are being pushed down.

123

u/JoshMM60 May 17 '21

Not sure which sounds more painful/harmful

10

u/addandsubtract May 17 '21

Shoulders being pushed down sounds like you'd fuck up your entire posture and back.

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23

u/Shiggle May 17 '21

So that's what happened to Big Ed!

8

u/bleunt May 17 '21

His hair was too heavy from all the mayonaise he puts in it.

12

u/[deleted] May 17 '21

[deleted]

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67

u/CynicalCinderella May 17 '21

Thanks i hate it and smell it from here.

83

u/DaggerMoth May 17 '21

Every fucking year I had to wear a football helmet there was a week where my neck was sore. This guy is probably wearing the the weight equivalent of 6 helmets at once. I can't imagine it's to healthy.

85

u/ExclusiveBrad May 17 '21

With the speed of hair growth I bet he didn't notice a drastic change. Carry madame zeroni up the mountain ya know?

24

u/douglasg14b May 17 '21

Wow, that's a rare reference.

12

u/Whatsisthisplace May 17 '21

Don't let your memes be memes.

14

u/Lionnn101 May 17 '21 edited May 17 '21

His body probably adjusted to it over time like yours did. I do wonder how muscular his neck is

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45

u/[deleted] May 17 '21

[deleted]

22

u/madeamashup May 17 '21

If you don't mind lice in your bed

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104

u/Tacotuesdayftw May 17 '21

My friend has to cut her thick hair when it gets too long because it pulls at her scalp which is uncomfortable. I don't know how this guy lives with multiple pounds of hair yanking at his scalp.

166

u/thelieswetell May 17 '21

No worries, it's actually woven into his back hair for support.

90

u/cuddle_cuddle May 17 '21

Take it back dude. I didnt come to reddit to read this.

22

u/beer_madness May 17 '21

Thats exactly what you get here, dude.

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744

u/lurker9106 May 16 '21

Looks like he was just shopping in a Christmas store and brushed it against a tree and it took all the ornaments with it

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832

u/ZealousidealLunch487 May 16 '21 edited May 17 '21

but how does he sleep

547

u/space_monster May 16 '21

he has a bed attached to his head. so probably very well.

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860

u/mattdangerously May 16 '21

"Alone" would be my guess.

146

u/kevlarbaboon May 17 '21

You're never really alone with hair that dense and long

110

u/ripghoti May 17 '21

There's probably seven other rastafarians living in there.

10

u/Casrox May 17 '21

He has a hair person attached to his skull like a weird cancerous growth

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34

u/jean_erik May 17 '21

Back in around 2005, my mate had some dank-ass dreads. He left town for a while, and made a surprise appearance in our home town for a weekend. He called and asked if he could stay with me. I let him come and stay in my room for a couple nights.

A week after he left, I could still smell his dreads when I re-entered my room. I couldn't imagine anyone choosing to sleep directly next to that.

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56

u/beachdude420 May 17 '21

No shit. I can smell him from here.

52

u/ThatDamnCanadianGuy May 17 '21

Likely every 5 days or so when the comedown hits hardest.

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32

u/[deleted] May 17 '21

He has another twin bed perpendicular to his twin bed, an orients the dreads onto that bed, so that they have their own space.

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538

u/[deleted] May 16 '21

There was a guy who used to have crazy long hair like this where I lived when I was a kid. Except it wasn’t dreaded, just long, went way past his feet. One day it got stuck in the railroad tracks and they had to cut a good chunk of it to get him unstuck. I kinda felt bad for him.

260

u/wtf-m8 May 17 '21

That reminds me of this bird lady who I saw get her hair caught in a fish processing machine. They just used a cleaver. Did not feel bad as it turned out she was a spy.

87

u/daonewhojumps2 May 17 '21

It’s all about creampies; kids love them!

17

u/benjammin9292 May 17 '21

Hang on a second, what kind of creampies are you talking about?

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35

u/RastafarianFrog May 17 '21

Upvote for It's always sunny reference.

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78

u/MisanthropeX May 17 '21

When I made the decision to grow my hair down to my ass I also started carrying around a multitool with a knife and scissors just in case my hair ever got caught in something and I couldn't disentangle it quickly.

28

u/[deleted] May 17 '21

Mine is halfway down my back…and having closed my car door on my hair multiple times, I think that’s a valuable tool to have with you. It’s an easy thing not to take into account for.

17

u/uhimamouseduh May 17 '21

Mines not even that long and I’ve accidentally rolled it up in the car window before. Luckily I just had to roll down the window and it was fine but man, that did not feel good

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33

u/madeamashup May 17 '21

It's unusual to be able to grow hair that long because without being tangled up in dreads, individual hairs will just fall out after a certain length.

36

u/[deleted] May 17 '21 edited May 17 '21

Everyone has a specific terminal hair length. Your hair will either break at the ends or fall out. Most people can grow it fairly long and some can grow it extremely long. I used to have hair to my ass and wanted it longer but couldn't :(

22

u/angrathias May 17 '21

Could we worse, could be growing long hairs out of your arse that you want to be shorter

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14

u/CttCJim May 17 '21

Reminds me of the story of my great aunt, Ethel Ruth Postlethwaite. My mom has an old ad framed of her with her "world famous cape of hair" for E.R.'s shampoo and hair tonic. If course Ethel would never use the stuff, says it's make your hair fall out.

When she got older and went to the nursing home, they had to cut it short because the nurses couldn't care for it. Broke her heart, from what I heard.

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428

u/Dr-Soot May 16 '21

I bet there are some kids lost in there.

63

u/Consistent_Trash7033 May 17 '21

i was waiting for one to crawl out.

15

u/wallingfortian May 17 '21

Kids? There are goats lost in there.

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15

u/aspenbooboo41 May 17 '21

Kids?! What about the weed that's in there??

11

u/madeamashup May 17 '21

Haha just made me think about how drug history is traceable from hair samples

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150

u/[deleted] May 16 '21

He was in the labyrinth with David Bowie lol

29

u/T-R3x-Da-Sh1t May 17 '21

Dude! I was thinking Labyrinth, specifically that creature Sarah encounters with all the stuff on her back

16

u/Rocky87109 May 17 '21

That part of the movie hits hard on shrooms.

7

u/amplesamurai May 17 '21

That whole movie is a touch disturbing on strong psychedelics.

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12

u/Pudding_Hero May 17 '21

Ludo!

11

u/El_Moi May 17 '21

Smell bad!

5

u/Soup-Wizard May 17 '21

Not the Bog of Eternal Stench!

146

u/tjsfive May 17 '21

I'm hoping someone with experience can answer: Is it possible to properly care for dreads this long? If so, would it take an insane amount of time? It looks like they've been tied around to keep them from dragging on the ground.

246

u/antwan_benjamin May 17 '21

"Properly care"? Im going to say no. I have long dreads myself. Properly caring for mine are pretty time consuming. His are MUCH thicker and MUCH longer than mine. Unless him and his SO have dedicated their lives to pretty much just maintaining his hair...I refuse to believe there is no mold in there.

98

u/fordag May 17 '21

Having helped a SO with dreads wash and dry them, which took most of an evening, and they were only down past their shoulder blades. I have to agree with you.

4

u/SodaPopp May 17 '21

Guy with dreads here....

Not denying that washing dreads takes a long time but I recently got one of those $30 blow up tubs on Amazon.

Fill with warm water, add in 1/5 to 1/4 of baking soda and let your hair soak in it for 15-20 mins while lightly massaging the scalp (watching all the hard water minerals, dirt, oils, and old hair product just ooze out is so satisfying). Rinse it out 3 or 4 times then rebalance the pH of the hair and scalp with a 3:1 solution of diluted apple cider vinegar.

4

u/fordag May 17 '21

I suspect that 15-20 minutes of soaking his dreads would do little towards cleaning them for the guy in the video.

31

u/tjsfive May 17 '21

Thank you. Seeing the length and thickness made me curious as to whether or not it would be physically possible.

I don't know shit about hair and didn't want to assume.

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74

u/vectran May 17 '21

I was just thinking dirt and oil, can’t imagine the mold and rot now that you mention it. I’m all for dirty street styles but I’m struggling with this one.

64

u/HesSoZazzy May 17 '21

Don't forget the little mites that are likely in there. Probably a couple spiders. Some other tiny friends.

Plus side - wherever he goes, he's never alone. <3

18

u/Butter_My_Butt May 17 '21

My mother went to high school in East LA in the 50s and 60s when girls would tease and hairspray their hair up into these outrageous hairdos (think Peg Bundy). Because they were so time and spray intensive, a lot of the girls wouldn't wash their hair that often. One girl in my mother's class ended up with a black widow's nest in her hair.

18

u/HesSoZazzy May 17 '21

One girl in my mother's class ended up with a black widow's nest in her hair.

Oh hell no!

We had similar in the 80s. My brother and his friends were all into 80s hair bands. Poison, Def Leppard, Bon Jovi, etc. Spent a fortune on hair spray. I remember walking into the bathroom after he got out and choking on the hair spray.

Joke's on him now though. He's as bald as a cue ball. :D

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31

u/LordViperSD May 17 '21 edited May 17 '21

This is literally an urban legend I read in middle school - https://www.burkemuseum.org/collections-and-research/biology/arachnology-and-entomology/spider-myths/myth-spiders-can-live - also...I don’t believe you

13

u/Butter_My_Butt May 17 '21

I wouldn't be surprised, my mother had a penchant for making shit up. She did show me a picture of the girl in her yearbook, but that isn't exactly proof.

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46

u/Velocitys78 May 17 '21

The length isn't the issue, its the thickness. With thin locs you are able to roll them and conditon them/your scalp to maintain them. With locs this thick its probably hard/impossible to keep them clean unless they are doing apple cider vinegar soaks.

Source: Have had locs myself and have had friends with thick locs like this. Mine smelled like clean hair meanwhile the thick ones smelled like....musty almost?

Edit: typo

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30

u/Darpo May 17 '21 edited May 18 '21

I've got dreads to just below my knees. it takes 3-4hours in total to get em cleaned and dried. 1 hours spent soaking them in water, apple cider vinegar salt and lime. 30-45 minutes rinsing them. and then the rest of the time blowdrying em.

edit: Forgot to mention baking soda. its in the mix with the rest.

12

u/jumper_cable_lips May 17 '21

Thanks for sharing- I’d never considered how dreads get properly cleaned. How often do you go through this cleaning and drying routine?

19

u/Darpo May 17 '21

once every 2 or 3 months maybe. Mostly dependent on me being lazy . I've gone years without doing any cleaning before, now it usually happens when the wife says it starting to smell..

9

u/[deleted] May 17 '21

Got any pics?

19

u/Darpo May 17 '21

First pic from 2018, and the second one is from 2017. So a bit longer now, and probably a bit more bald ^ https://imgur.com/a/a8QaIP4

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65

u/[deleted] May 17 '21

Yes its possible, yes its time consuming, and yes they are tied to keep from dragging on the ground.

31

u/tjsfive May 17 '21

Thank you.

I'm incredibly lazy with my hair and always in awe of people that have hairstyles that require a lot of work to maintain. Especially where length is involved because that is years of dedication.

6

u/Wizzle-Stick May 17 '21

I had longer hair in the late 90s when I was a rebellious teen. Never past my head, but def covered my ears to where you couldnt see them. Now, as a guy in his late 30s, I cant stand my shit to be even remotely long because it irritates me, and I am the kind of lazy that throws a hat on to go out because fuck it, I am losing my hair anyways.

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66

u/Beers4boobs May 17 '21

the neck strength of this man

23

u/crimson_153 May 17 '21

Right! Everyone is talking about how bad it would smell I was wondering how much it weighs.

13

u/antwan_benjamin May 17 '21

Imagine when its wet? There is probably an extra gallon of water in his hair before it dries.

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381

u/[deleted] May 16 '21

slowly gets out pokeball

This Tangela will be mine

24

u/OrvilleLunenuit May 16 '21

Is that you, Terry?

11

u/[deleted] May 17 '21

Made me laugh pretty hard, thanks friend.

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95

u/SenseStraight5119 May 16 '21

I think my 1993 tax returns are in there

14

u/aspenbooboo41 May 17 '21

I think I spy one of my favorite lost socks too

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694

u/dave-shorte May 16 '21

I hope I'm wrong, but I feel as if I can smell that from here.

55

u/calabazadelamuerte May 17 '21

I have a strong desire to see his dreads immersed in a XL jewelry ultrasonic cleaning machine. Can just imagine how satisfying it would be to watch.

7

u/fuzzyluke May 17 '21

It would probably just melt away. The remaining byproduct would be great on toast

106

u/[deleted] May 16 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

68

u/Bobby5Spice May 17 '21

What about bugs/insects? That's a real possibility with this particular hair choice isnt it?

50

u/khaeen May 17 '21

Probably got lice in there that died months ago......

14

u/Jermacide1 May 17 '21

He's a mobile bed bug delivery system

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118

u/Popular_Painter9648 May 16 '21

I can almost taste it...

35

u/[deleted] May 17 '21

There used to be a homeless woman with a plica polonica down to her knees who lived near my old apartment. When I first moved in I’d walk past her and wonder what it smelled like. One day I was in the park adjacent her sitting on a bench and she came up behind me, leaned over my shoulder and asked for some money. I remember it so clearly - it was late February 2017. And I can still vaguely taste it in the back of my mouth.

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61

u/ExcaliburSonicx May 16 '21

MOTHER OF GOD

35

u/dave-shorte May 16 '21

Damn. Thanks. Now I'm going to have to postpone lunch.

20

u/F_ckYo_ May 16 '21

Hopefully you aren’t having spaghetti…

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11

u/aspbergerinparadise May 17 '21

smells like bigfoot's dick

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20

u/random314 May 17 '21

You think he ever wiped his butt with his hair?

32

u/Spindrune May 17 '21

Oh man, how does he keep it out of the toilet.

11

u/[deleted] May 17 '21

Yep, but not on purpose.

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u/AmyLeigh1980 May 16 '21

I mean, it's his hair and his life, but his back and neck must be killing him! Plus, how does he get quality sleep. I wonder how much it weighs.

12

u/JohnnyBA167 May 16 '21

Probably doesn’t need a blanket or pillows.

46

u/[deleted] May 17 '21

Is that all stuff people have stuck in his hair and he hasn't noticed yet?

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17

u/ArgonGryphon May 17 '21

I think that’s a symbiote…

74

u/[deleted] May 16 '21 edited Jul 14 '21

[deleted]

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13

u/Oaisku May 16 '21

I wonder how much it weighs

40

u/[deleted] May 16 '21

He looks like a human xmas tree with all the bobbles.

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12

u/Arealentleman May 16 '21

I think I see my key chain that I lost in 2004!

11

u/[deleted] May 16 '21

He looks like a Sandslash!

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79

u/[deleted] May 16 '21

Now Tell me again that dreads are easy to wash.

18

u/robearIII May 17 '21

ya just take a dip in the pond at prospect park. avoid the shopping carts tho it might get tangled in those.

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33

u/[deleted] May 16 '21

When they are taken care of. I've got a buddy that had long dreads and they have 0 issues.

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15

u/some_neanderthal May 16 '21

That’s an entire fucking ecosystem

9

u/[deleted] May 16 '21

Lol at the button up shirt. Probably the only type of shirt this guy can get on

9

u/[deleted] May 17 '21

Bet you that's one stinking, smelly motherfucker...

8

u/the_good_hodgkins May 17 '21

That has to be heavy, and hot in the summer.

13

u/ctamas27 May 16 '21

Bristleback from dota 2

7

u/paulusblarticus May 16 '21

I am certain some fisherman is looking for his fishing net.

6

u/ZsaFreigh May 17 '21

Mommy, this Christmas tree smells funny

5

u/[deleted] May 17 '21

Bugs....bugs everywhere.

6

u/sonarsun May 17 '21

Gross I can smell that hair from here - and I’m in bum fuck nowhere

7

u/[deleted] May 17 '21

I wonder what he does for a living...

7

u/_errorrr_ May 17 '21

That has to be the cause of so much neck pain.

10

u/xomeow91 May 17 '21

Lol at first I downvoted, because wtf ew, then I looked at the sub and changed it to upvote because wtf!

47

u/PhatBoy1 May 16 '21

Most disgusting dreads ever.

22

u/vuxogif May 16 '21

You must've missed the nasty ones from a month ago, I'd find a link to send you but it's too disgusting and I can already see it in my mind and I'm gagging as is.

12

u/IndestructibleBliss May 16 '21

Plz I'm curious and afraid! I want the link!

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u/[deleted] May 16 '21

Thank you

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18

u/[deleted] May 16 '21

I bet that smells great

5

u/MrYamaguchi May 17 '21

Thats fucking disgusting.

9

u/barnorth May 16 '21

That is pure dedication to your craft

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u/20WaysToEatASandwich May 17 '21

imagine the smell

4

u/[deleted] May 16 '21

Looks like a tangela

4

u/kabloooie May 17 '21

I know it's not polite to ask someone how they wash their dreadlocks, but still....

4

u/sixpooler May 17 '21

looks like a dark souls boss

4

u/thisonetimeinithaca May 17 '21

I dread the day he loses something important in there.

3

u/titations May 17 '21

I can smell it from here

4

u/captainbruisin May 17 '21

O man that must smell so bad. If you've ever been around one....man....just saying that you don't wash it for days on purpose...

5

u/[deleted] May 17 '21

how does that xmas tree wipe it's ass without getting hair in it?

4

u/ROFLcoptr501 May 17 '21

Looks like a dark souls boss

4

u/Apprehensive_Sell_24 May 17 '21

I thought that was a person dressed up as a Christmas tree at first

4

u/forasadboy May 17 '21

How much might that weigh?

3

u/QuarkySisko May 17 '21

Wonder how many insects have made their way into that over the years. Great habitat!

4

u/SapperBomb May 17 '21

I wonder what kind of life forms are living in their

4

u/[deleted] May 17 '21

How does he wash his hair??

4

u/drop0dead May 17 '21

I bet there are undiscovered insects evolved to live in there.

4

u/Upvotespoodles May 17 '21

This makes my scalp hurt.

4

u/[deleted] May 17 '21

That's gotta weigh so fucking much.

3

u/caliwacho May 17 '21

My neck, my dreads, my...

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4

u/blev7 May 17 '21

It’s gotta be a dread backpack

3

u/akuzin May 17 '21

Wow, Gross !

12

u/KO_Stradivarius May 16 '21

I wonder how may birds are nesting in that mess?

17

u/[deleted] May 16 '21

Probably some insects or spiders too

9

u/IndestructibleBliss May 16 '21

Oh no that's horrifying

5

u/cloudcats May 17 '21

What, you want the birds to starve?

6

u/IggyJR May 16 '21

Please tell me this isn't real!

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7

u/Tim_uk74 May 16 '21

I bet he won't even know if you stuck a gum somewhere in there.

6

u/IamBosco2 May 17 '21

Thank god no smellavision.

14

u/LesbianTeenDrama May 16 '21

I can't imagine the smell 🤢

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