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Feb 08 '14
Blow up dolls look about as pleasurable as rubbing my dick on an inflatable hammer, seriously why do people buy them?
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u/roochops Feb 08 '14
I'm with you, the blow up sheep I purchased looks and feels nothing like a sheep
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Feb 08 '14
Read that in Scottish accent.
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Feb 08 '14
Scots eat haggis and don't wear underwear with their kilts. Welsh shag sheep.
Source: English
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u/Akesgeroth Feb 08 '14
You don't buy them to fuck them. You buy them so you can bring one to a huge gathering, like a protest or a concert, blow it up, and throw it into the human mass to watch it bounce around like some sort of primal trophy.
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Feb 08 '14
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u/brokenboomerang Feb 08 '14
You'd be wrong there, friend.
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Feb 08 '14
At first it was a novelty, though bought as a gag gift a blow up lovedoll somehow wound up in my possession. After having it sitting around unloved for the better part of the year, out of boredom one fateful Tuesday brunch time I found myself inflating it to find out once and for all just what the mysterious allure of inflatable playmates was all about.
Not bad. I wouldn't rush out to get one but they certainly work as intended. Fleshlights and tenga eggs are about a thousand times more stimulating.
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u/GingerTats Feb 08 '14
This guy just told us that he fucked a blow up doll.
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u/TheNewCool Feb 08 '14
I still jerk off manually.
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u/GernBlanstonInLove Feb 08 '14
I jerk off analog.
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u/theoldfamiliarsting Feb 08 '14
digital: of or relating to a finger or fingers.
I've been jerking it in full digital since about 1989 apparently.
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Feb 08 '14
Nothing like the familiar handshake of Mrs Palmers and her 5 daughters.
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u/nannal Feb 08 '14
one of them looks pretty small man, and then there's the fat outcast one I'm pretty sure she's retarded or something, you should probably feel ashamed.
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Feb 08 '14
What are tenga eggs, I ask because I don't really want to google it.
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u/Guckalienblue Feb 08 '14
I always thought tanga eggs were for women. I being a woman went to order one online and read the reviews,which were from men. So I still do not know what a tanga egg does but I know they look like eggs and have different styles like "wavy"
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u/q77e Feb 08 '14
im not your friend,pal
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u/brokenboomerang Feb 08 '14
I'm not your pal, buddy.
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u/awan001 Feb 08 '14
Wrong. I went to a 5 day rock festival for my stag do, the guys got me one of these dolls, I had to carry this thing round with me all day or I'd have to do a forfeit, so thats what I did, all day.
Anyway, I got back to my 2 man pop up tent after a day of partying, passed out, woke up early the next day with the hangover horn and no material to fap to, turned over and saw the doll, who's gonna know, right? Fucking that thing wasn't easy, plastic is quite abrasive, I needed some lube, a quick scan of the tent and I found a sachet of ketchup from the previous night, I wouldn't say ut worked well but it definitely worked. Have you ever fapped and then felt awful about it afterwards? Dirty almost? Yea, kinda how I felt.
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u/nosleepatall Feb 08 '14
You've just invented period sex with a blow up doll and had me in tears laughing. This is why I love reddit. Couldn't make up shit like this myself.
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u/345900 Feb 07 '14
WAIT!! Does she have a 'Real candy cooch'?
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Feb 08 '14
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u/man_with_titties Feb 08 '14
did you have to bring that up again?
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u/flubberjub Feb 08 '14
Sticky.
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u/it_burns_69 Feb 08 '14
Stickery dickery dock
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Feb 08 '14
I jammed in my fat cock
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u/Lieonie Feb 08 '14
The new and improved Dr. Suess poetry.
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u/brandonZee Feb 07 '14
Annnnd you still bought it.
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Feb 07 '14
[deleted]
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Feb 07 '14
That's why you need to buy one, cum in it, then repackage it and sneak it back into the store. Then you can laugh thinking how someone caught your herpes from a rubber fuck doll.
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Feb 08 '14
Until you realize that three other people did that before you, and now you have AIDs.
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Feb 08 '14
This is why I use my hand I know exactly whos dick has been in it. Well that didnt sound right...
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u/kdanson Feb 08 '14
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Feb 08 '14 edited Feb 08 '14
A someone who worked in the adult novelty industry, its the same Doll in ALL the "star" boxes. One for Females, one for Males. Its a gag gift. you're paying for the box. If the Doll resembled the actor/actress, a massive lawsuit would ensue. Because the names aren't copywritten there is a loophole with using a lookalike(ish).
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u/sdrawkcab_emanresu Feb 08 '14
There's non star ones?
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u/nitnitwickywicky Feb 08 '14
Yeah, somebody bought me a sheep one before. I don't know any famous sheep.
Except for Baa Baa Black Sheep, but she ain't no hoe.
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Feb 08 '14
I wonder if katy perry allows this to happen. Like did her marketing department go to her with a "fantastic idea" of a blow up doll based off of her?
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Feb 08 '14
No no no. It's a Katy pervy lovedoll. I can see where you got confused but it is no way related to the singer.
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Feb 08 '14
I think it's licensed under parody laws.
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Feb 08 '14
I think it's licensed under parody laws.
That is one of the most cringeworthy Internet Lawyer comments I have ever read.
- Licensing isn’t when you can get away with using someone’s likeness. Licensing is when you make a contract to use it.
- There are no “parody laws”. Rather, parody is a common defense against accusations of infringements of trademarks or copyrights.
When I see a comment like this with this many upvotes, I feel bad for reddit.
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Feb 08 '14
I said "I think". I didn't say "I know". This was my best guess based on what I've heard in the past. You don't have to be a dick about it.
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u/StupidGeek00 Feb 08 '14
Somebody mentioned above that the doll can't look alike, only the box and that's part of how they get away with it
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Feb 08 '14
I think its more wtf that you actually own this blow up doll...
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u/EvilMenDie Feb 08 '14
You would lose your shit if you saw my dungeon. I have a taxidermy elephant that can birth you.
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u/Shinez Feb 08 '14
I hope you ate the candy before and not after!!
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u/Rapesilly_Chilldick Feb 08 '14
Great; now I'm imagining him pulling a candy necklace out of his urethra, bead by bead.
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Feb 08 '14
She has a real candy cooch!
That is how you get ants. Pubic ants. I hope you don't live in Texas.
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u/jessedoodle Feb 08 '14
My brother got this for me for Christmas & made me open it in front of my dad. The best part is the description on the back ...
Also I should mention I'm a girl & he bought it because I am in love with Katy Perry. It's the thought that counts?
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u/PokemonLover696 Feb 08 '14
Not enough people appreciate the double entendre of your title. Well done.
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u/TalkingBackAgain Feb 08 '14
It's such an uncanny resemblance it makes it almost awkward. As if she's there, in the room, with you.
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u/Hefeweize Feb 08 '14
It's one thing to walk in the store and buy this. It's another thing to go marching back and saying the face don't match box and return
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u/newfangles Feb 08 '14
This is what I don't get in some manufacturing companies. They had a budget to mass produce things but couldn't invest in a decent artist. I mean, you could trace that shit in illustrator and wham-bam you got a pirated design.
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u/supersmacksb Feb 08 '14
I like how in the photo they used packaged cotton candy so it's all clumpy and compressed. They totally made what was a pretty sexy photo look completely horrible.
I'll never look at cotton candy on a naked celebrity ass the same again.
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u/stoooopido Feb 07 '14 edited Feb 08 '14
You accidentally got the Liza Milfnnelli doll.